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Living Outside the Statist Quo

JEFFREY"TOcKER

Bourbon
for Breakfast

Living Outside
the Statist Quo

Bourbon
for Breakfast

Living Outside
the Statist Quo

By Jeffrey Tucker

LvMI

MISES INSTITUTE

http://creativecommons.Org/licenses/by/3.0/

Ludwig von Mises Institute
518 West Magnolia Avenue
Auburn, Alabama 36832

mises.org

ISBN: 978-1-933550-89-3

For Murray N. Rothbard

Introduction

The title of this book is drawn from one of those defining moments
in life in which a small phrase* shatters the social-cultural convention and
reveals completely new possibilities. I tell the story herein in the essay on
morning drinking.

A great scholar and Southern gentlemen — a man who has written the
ultimate guidebook to the writing of the King James version of the Gos-
pels — invited me for an early breakfast, 7:00 a.m. and then offered me coffee.

I said, “yes, thank you.”

He then added: “would you like bourbon in that coffee?”

What is revealed in that sentence and the shock it elicited? We believe,
for whatever reason, that drinking hard liquor in the morning is unseemly,
contrary to social norms, something to hide, a habit of the lower classes that
is dangerous or even evil.

But are any of these assumptions true? A new form of prohibitionism
has swept the country, imposed on us by our government masters and their
cultural backers, even as alcohol consumption rises and rises. Evidently,
we live two realities: the one the government imposes on us and the one we
adopt in our real lives.

What struck me about this man’s phrase was how it presumed that he
and I were among the rebels against the prevailing ethos — that together we
would reject the government’s edicts and create our own norms and reality.
This is a wonderful model for living a full life. This book is about seeing that
just because government mandates certain things and forbids others does not
mean that we must follow or even tolerate die official roadmap for our lives.

The seed of truth to die morning-drinking taboo is that doing diis every
morning would contribute to a less productive life. But on the weekends or
when it is not necessary to be at your sober best, or when you are celebrat-
ing some special guest, there is surely nothing wrong here.

In any case, there must be some lost aristocratic tradition of adding a
splash, else this highly cultivated, highly educated and scholarly Southern
gentleman would not have suggested it. In doing so, he was revealing some
lost history with a sense of freedom and possibility. To contemplate the sug-
gestion is to imagine a world that does not exist, one that breaks from the
status quo and plays with the pluses and minuses of adopting a new way of
living.

Most of the essays in this book do just this. They imagine radical new
possibilities of living outside the status quo. Or perhaps we should say
“statist” quo because it is the state that is responsible for shaping our world,
in brazen ways and also subtle ones that we do not fully realize.

Examples from the book include how and why the “hot” water in our
homes became lukewarm and what can be done about it, how our toilets
stopped working properly because of legislation that reduced toilet-tank
size, how traffic-law enforcement became a racket for extracting wealth from
the population to feed the overlords, how copyright and patent legislation
is depriving us of cultural and technological innovation, and how politicians
who we think are protecting us are really just taking away our own rights to
protect ourselves.

To see the costs of statism is to see what Frederic Bastiat called the
“unseen.” It is about imagining the existence of some possibility that the
state has forbidden from existing, playing with that possibility in your mind,
and then acting on what has previously been an abstraction and making it a
reality. Art helps us accomplish this mental feat, which is why many of these
essays deal with literature, movies, culture, and the arts.

But seeing what is wrong with the world — Chesterton’s phrase — is only
tire beginning. Finding the solution, the workaround, is the next necessary
step. I try not to highlight problems without also offering a solution of sorts,
simply because there is nothing productive or enlightening about despair.
Hope comes from imaging a better future that does not yet exist.

Most of die essays in here deal with what are often considered trivial or
light topics. But the trivial is quite often very serious, while what we think
is serious is often quite trivial, as I try to show. At the same time, I deal with
topics that libertarians of my stripe don’t often write about, like the ghastly
reality of jail (yes, the article is autobiographical) and the problems con-
nected with intellectual property. I make no apology for the fact diat the top-
ics are all over the map. Maybe diat will make this book more interesting.

An underlying apparatus here is my own formation in economic theory,
drawn from my many years of work at the Mises Institute in Auburn, Ala-
bama, and the way that the friendships Pve formed in this connection have
gradually led me away from the poison of politics as a viable means of social
and economic management.

A parallel part of my life involves the study and practice of music, with
a particular focus on what is called “early music.” Exploring the interaction
between culture broadly speaking and political economy is something that
happened inadvertantly as IVe been plugging away on thousands of articles
over the years, of which this hook represents only a sample.

We all need to be part of the project of reimagining freedom — of living
outside the statist quo — else we will go the way of many societies and civili-
zations before us: host to a massive apparatus of power and imposition that
strangles the growth and ingenuity of people, leading to a stasis that hardly
anyone notices until it is too late.

I would like to offer a special note of thanks to Lew Rockwell, who has
encouraged the publication of this kind of econo-cultural analysis, and ran
many of them on his website, LewRockwell.com. Doug French suggested,
even insisted, on collecting them in a book. Many friends, co-workers at
the Mises Institute, associates, and loved ones will notice incidents, ideas,
and phrases in here that draw fr om shared experiences and conversations;
indeed, there are many senses in which this book is not my own but the
result of a community enterprise. They should all know of my gratitude.

Contents

Water and Life

The Bureaucrat in Your Shower 13

The Turn of the Screw 17

Rain, Rain, Go Away 21

The Relentless Misery of 1.6 Gallons 25

The Great Drain Debacle 29

Crush the Sprinkler Guild 33

The Key to a Happy Life 37

Municipalized Trash: It's Uncivilized 41

A Lesson in Mortality 45

Commerce

Truth in the Coin Shop 49

Does Money Taint Everything? 55

Are We a Self-Hating Commercial Society? 59

The Glories of Change 63

Cooperation: How a Free Market Benefits Everyone 67

How to Handle Getting Fired 73

The Trouble With Child Labor Laws 77

Generation Sloth 83

How Free Is the "Free Market"? 87

The Other Side of the Transaction 91

Lounge Lizards, Weak Wastrels, & Forgetters 95

What Are Just Prices? 99

The Economics of Here to There 103

The Pope and the Cause of Freedom 107

Technology

Authors: Beware of Copyright 113

If You Believe in IP, How Do You Teach Others? 117

Is Intellectual Property the Key to Success? 123

Books, Online and Off 127

Mises.org in the Context of Publishing History 133

The Myth of the Cell-Phone Addiction 141

Another Central Plan Fails 145

Department of Computer Security? It's a Joke 149

Crime

Society in Jail 149

Victims on Trial: The Everyday Business of Courts 157

Officer Kanapsky, is it? 161

The Creation of the Bureaucrat 165

Stop Signs and Liberty 169

Health and Manners

Dress Like the Great Depression 173

Protectionism and My Stuffy Nose 177

Bush's Fowl Play 181

What Men Want 185

The Shaving Cream Racket 189

How To Dress Like a Man 193

Do People Secretly Think You're a Pig? 199

Ten People I Would Like To Meet 203

The Gay Adoption Conundrum 209

Madmen and Government Regulations 215

Avoiding Austro-Flamewars 219

How to Improve the Culture 225

Food

Dealing with Failure 229

Fortune Cookie Economics 233

Pound for Pound 237

The Work of Human Hands 241

Bring Back the Breakfast Drink 245

Books

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Government 249

Who Is Garet Garrett? 253

Albert Jay Nock: Forgotten Man of the Old Right 265

Mark Twain's Radical Liberalism 275

The Awful Strife of Nature 291

The Works of Leonard E. Read 295

The Genius of Rube Goldberg 299

A Book that Changes Everything 303

Business Cycles, Not Our Fault 309

Movies

Capitalism as Drama 313

The Film Noir Moment 319

Who Was Beowulf? 325

Spidey's Forgotten World 329

Neither Brown Nor Red 333

Catch the Libertarianism If You Can 339

Time and Justice 343

It's a Jetsons World 347

Nixon! 351

Index

355

WATER Sc LIFE

The Bureaucrat in Your Shower

January 10, 2006

T he Department of Energy may soon be paying a visit to a certain
shower head manufacturer in Arizona. The company is Zoe Indus-
tries Manufacturing. It runs Showerbuddy.com, a popular site that
sells amazing equipment for bathrooms.

Consumers love the company but one man doesn’t. He is A1 Dietemann,
head of conservation for the Seattle Water Board. A1 ordered some prod-
ucts and sent them to BR Laboratories in Hungtington, California, accord-
ing to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. And sure enough, Bureaucrat A1 gained
enough data to report Zoe to the feds, accusing Zoe of “blatant violations of
environmental protection laws.” Now the heat is on.

What’s the big deal? What critical matter of American public life is at
stake? It’s all about water flow and gallons per minute.

You might have some vague memory from childhood, and perhaps it
returns when visiting someone who lives in an old home. You turn on the
shower and the water washes over your whole self as if you are standing
under a warm-spring waterfall. It is generous and therapeutic. The spray
is heavy and hard, enough even to work muscle cramps out of your back,
enough to wash the conditioner out of your hair, enough to leave you feeling
wholly renewed — enough to get you completely clean.

Somehow, these days, it seems nearly impossible to recreate this in
your new home. You go to the hardware store to find dozens and dozens
of choices of shower heads. They have 3, 5, 7, even 9 settings, from spray
to massage to rainfall. Some have long necks. Some you can hold in your

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

hand. Some are huge like the lid to a pot and promise buckets of rainfall.
The options seem endless.

But you buy and buy, and in the end, they disappoint. It’s just water,
and it never seems like enough.

Why? As with most things in life that fall short of their promise, the
government is involved. There are local regulations. Here is one example
of a government regulation on the matter, from the Santa Cruz City Water
Conservation Office: “If you purchased and installed a new showerhead in
tire last ten years, it will be a 2.5 gpm [gallons-per-minute] model, since all
showerheads sold in California were low consumption models beginning in
1992.”

You mean they regulate how much my shower sprays? Yes indeed they
do. Government believes that it has an interest in your shower? Yes it does.

And it is not just crazy California. The Federal Energy Policy Act of
1992 mandates that “all faucet fixtures manufactured in the United States
restrict maximum water flow at or below 2.5 gallons per minute (gpm) at 80
pounds per square inch (psi) of water pressure or 2.2 gpm at 60 psi.”

Or as the Department of Energy itself declares to all consumers and
manufacturers: “Federal regulations mandate that new showerhead flow
rates can’t exceed more than 2.5 gallons per minute (gpm) at a water pres-
sure of 80 pounds per square inch (psi).”

As with all regulations, the restriction on how much water can pour
over you at once while standing in a shower is ultimately enforced at the
point of a gun.

Manufacturers must adhere to these regulations under penalty of law,
and to be on tire safe side, and adjust for high-water-pressure systems, they
typically undershoot. If you try your showers right now, you will probably
find that they dispense water at 2 gallons per minute or even less. Together
with other regulations concerning water pressure, your shower could fall to
as low as 1 .5 gallons per minute!

This creates a rather serious problem for nearly everyone in the coun-
try. America is the land of the shower. Popular lore holds that Americans are
some of the most showered people in the world, and this stands in contrast
to, well, to lands of the less showered. (Not naming any names!)

As for Zoe Industries, they set out to address this strange problem that
has made our showers less functional than they ought to be.

The Bureaucrat in Your Shower

They are not water anarchists; we aren’t talking about shower-reg
secessionists here. But the company did insightfully observe that the restric-
tion applies on a per-shower-head basis.

So Zoe sells full units that have three full heads per shower! What a
solution — truly in the spirit of American enterprise in tire best sense. These
remarkable units are both brilliant and beautiful, and they comply with
tire letter of the law. The one that annoyed Bureaucrat A1 is the Nautilus II
Chrome — and what a piece of work it is!

If it turns out that the feds can’t prove him in violation, Congress might
have to go back to work. The regs might have to be changed to specify one
head per shower space.

But then what can the government do about the length of showers?
After all, there is no real way to regulate how much water we use (and pay
for). Maybe tire shower heads have to have timers on them. And maybe the
feds need to put up little monitors in our showers to make sure that we have
stopped and started them.

And what happens to shower offenders? One can see federal S.W.A.T.
Teams screeching up to your house, black-clad men pouring out, securing
tire perimeter, and shouting through a bull horn: “Drop the soap and come
out of the shower with your hands up!”

Most manufacturers adhere to the regulations. But savvy consumers
know how to get around the problem.

Warning: The following section is for information purposes only; I am
not advocating egregious violations of federal law as some trouble-making
rebel might. Do not endanger your status as a law-abiding citizen who takes
wimpy showers.

Many people now hack their showers — or customize them, if you pre-
fer. You can take your shower head down, pull the washer out with a screw-
driver, and remove the offending intrusion that is restricting water flow. It
can be a tiny second washer or it can be a hard plastic piece. Just pop it out
and replace the washer. Sometimes it is necessary to trim it out using a pen
knife or even a drill.

Using such strategies, you can increase your water flow from 2 gallons
per minute to 3 and even 4 gallons per minute. You can easily clock this
using a stopwatch and a milk carton.

Using this method (just as an experiment for the sake of journalism —
again, do not try this at home) I was easily able to expand my gallons per

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

minute on each shower in my house to an average of 3.4 gpm, thereby recre-
ating that childhood sense of gushes of water pouring down.

Now, that doesn’t compare to the amazing 12.7 gallons per minute that
BR Labs claims they were able to clock with the Nautilus II (wow wow
wow!) but it still exceeds federal regulations.

Why would anyone want to do this? According to the head of Zoe
Industries, people somehow have the sense that I described above. “Gener-
ally, they don’t like the water savers,” he says, “the flow of water is too weak
and they feel as though they haven’t gotten a shower.”

The whole craziness here recalls the similar frenzy about toilet tank size
that resulted from the same act of Congress. Eventually manufacturers fig-
ured out ways to make the toilets flush, but, even today, you never want a
plunger to be too far from the toilet. Thus has it spawned an entire industry
of designer plungers!

You might say that water needs to be conserved. Yes, and so does every
other scarce good. The peaceful way to do this is through the price system.
But because municipal water systems have created artificial shortages, other
means become necessary. One regulation piles on top of another, and the
next thing you know, you have shower commissars telling you what you can
or cannot do in the most private spaces.

Has central planning ever been more ridiculous, intrusive, and self-
defeating? The U.S. Geological Survey of the U.S. government reports that
all domestic water use (“Common indoor uses include drinking, preparing
food, bathing, washing clothes and dishes, and flushing toilets; the major
outdoor uses are watering lawns and gardens”) constitute less than one per-
cent of the total water use. Whether our showers spray a lot or a little makes
no notable difference at all. If we want pay slightly more to be clean and
happy, we are so entitled.

If Zoe Industries is bankrupted by federal fines, who will stand up for
our rights to take showers our own way and make our ownjudgments about
how much water to use?

The Turn of the Screw

February 20, 2004

Y ou may have had a sense lately that something is just not right in
your domestic life, not calamitously bad but just bad enough to be
annoying on a daily basis and in seemingly unpredictable ways.

You are not alone. In fact, a huge variety of personal and social prob-
lems trace to a single source.

First an inventory to establish what I mean:

• You have the vague sense that your bed linens are not so much com-
forting you as hemming you in, restricting you and just not breath-
ing as they should;

• To clean your bathtub and kitchen sink requires an inordinate
amount of cleanser and bleach;

• Whereas you remember showers that once refreshed you, they now
leave you only feeling wet;

• It should be pleasure to put on a bright white crisp undershirt but
instead it seems rather routine, dull, even uneventful;

• The mop has a dusky smell of an old rag and you keep having to
replace it to get rid of the reappearing and never disappearing stink;

• Your dinner tonight reminds you of your dinner last night and that
night before, and the flavors seem to be piling up into one big haze.

These are just six of the many dozens of typical symptoms of one of the
most common household problems in American today. What is that prob-
lem? The simplicity of the answer might shock you: your water heater is set
at too low a temperature.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Most people don’t want to think about their water heaters. It is a sub-
ject we would rather avoid. It just sort of sits there like a steel totem pole in
a dusty closet that is otherwise not used for much because there is not room
for much else. The heater itself seems intimidating, plastered with strange
insulating devices and warning stickers. It is something to be touched only
by specialists. We even fear cleaning behind it, worrying that we will be
zapped or scorched.

Sure, we know people who have had to “replace their water heaters”
because their “water heater went out,” but because this has never happened
to us, we don’t worry about it. Besides, what if it turns out that the water
heater has some sort of scary blue flame and a clicking starter or something?
Better to leave it alone so that it doesn’t become volcanic.

All of these impulses are wrong. The water heater can be your friend. It
can be your greatest friend in your struggle to create and maintain a happy
domestic environment. It wants to be useful. There is nothing to be fright-
ened of. There are no blue flames (they are mostly electric now.) A water
heater is made to heat and hold water. It is begging you to do something
that will change your life from grey to bright white: turn up the temperature!

Chances are that your water temperature is set at 120 degrees. This is
the preferred temperature of the establishment. Water heaters are shipped
this way and installed this way. The regulations on new home construction
mandate it to be this way. Who thinks to change it?

But 120 degrees? Come on. By the time the water leaves the heater and
travels through tire pipes and hits the air before landing whenever it is sup-
posed to land, chances are that it will fall to 1 18 degrees. In the dead of
Winter, with pipes running under the house, it can he even lower.

Think about this: 118 degrees is the temperature at which yeast thrives.
It is the temperature for proofing. What does that tell you? It tells you that
tilings can grow at 1 18 degrees.

In other words, this is too cool! To know what 118 degrees feels like,
imagine a bowl of water that you stick your hand in. It is warm, even quite
warm, but you don’t really have the drive to pull your hand out to keep
yourself safe. You can adjust. You know what? Everything adjusts to 1 18
degrees: germs, viruses, bacteria, dirt, smudge, sludge, stink, dust, and every
other damnable thing in the world. All of this lives, even thrives, at 1 18
degrees.

Revelation 3:16 has it right: “So then because thou art lukewarm, and
neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”

The Turn of the Screw

Who came up with the idea that the standard temperature should be
120 degrees? The usual bunch: governments that want to impose a variety
of deprivations on you, anti-energy people who think tire less technological
consumption the better, environmentalists who want to stamp out all things
bright and beautiful, litigious lawyers who have intimidated heater makers,
and safety freaks of all sorts. A quick search shows all.

We know these people. They are the people who say we should eat our
own garbage, invite bats to live in our attics, and refrain from killing mosqui-
toes in the marsh. They are the ones who gave us toilets that don’t flush and
shower heads that don’t spray. They seem to think we should all go around
dirty and dissatisfied, and that anything resembling clean, neat, and, well,
civilized has to he stamped out.

These people are always worrying about the risks of life, but what about
tire health risks of living in squalor of their creation?

Defy them all in one fell swoop! Turn your temperature up to 130
degrees. How hot is this? Contrary to the claims, it will not scald you. Imag-
ine again a howl full of water. Put your hand into this temperature and you
will say: “Yikes!” or “Ouch!” or “Yeow!” and pull it right out and shake
your hand in the air. However, it leaves nothing red, no burns, nothing
awful. It is just what used to be called hot water before the lukewarm crowd
changed everything.

How does yeast respond to 130 degrees? It dies. Bread bakers know
this. You know what else dies? All the icky things mentioned above. They
all die mercifully quick deaths at this temperature. Clean clothes! Clean
sinks! Satisfyingly hot showers! Comfortable sheets! Clean-smelling mops!
Plates that come out of the dish washer without dinner build-up on them!
All of this awaits your act of defiance.

A brief note on shoes. Have you ever bought a new pair because your
old ones. . .stank? Of course they did. Your socks are not getting clean.
They infect your shoes. Oh sure, try to keep it at bay with Dr. Scholl’s. It
won’t work. A shoe stink sticks forever. You thought you had a physical
disability, and embarrassing foot odor problem. Nope. It’s your hot water
heater.

How to fix all this? It will take less than a minute. If your temperature
dial is in the open, good for you. Turn it to 130 degrees or higher. There is
a reason these tanks go up to 170 degrees. I read a manual for a dishwasher
that says it wants water of 145 degrees. When I was in the dish-washing
business, you had to use heavy rubber gloves just to get near water. So be it.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

If your dial is covered, ignore all stickers and scary warnings about
scalded babies. Take off the steel plate that covers up the setting. Remove
tire Styrofoam. There you will find a tiny little dial. Use a dime or a screw-
driver and give the dial a teeny tiny little turn over to 130 degrees. The ben-
efits will start within hours. Within a day, you will experience the greatest
increase in your standard of living since your gas grill and automated sprin-
kler system.

Your new life begins with a comfortable and happy sleep, a blasting hot
and refreshing shower, a crisp T-shirt, and clean socks, followed by break-
fast on a plate so clean it squeaks. Even cleaning up breakfast will be pure
pleasure: the sink gleams, the floor has never been cleaner, and your mop
will end up as fresh as the day you bought it.

Indeed, with a water heater set at 130 degrees, all is right with the
world — at least that part of it that you can control. Even if the whole world
is conspiring against civilization, you can preserve your part of it with the
smallest turn of a screwdriver.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

February 26, 2008

O nce again, for the umpteenth time this month, I arrive at work soak-
ing wet. Just getting from the car to the front door of the Mises
Institute is like going through the rinse cycle — and umbrellas just
aren’t my thing. What’s striking is how this weather pattern follows a year
of dire warnings from government officials about the deadly drought that is
destroying the region, as you can easily see from the government’s own U.S.
Drought Assessment maps.

Actually, these are interesting maps. They give the impression that
the whole of the nation is a parched land that vacillates between persistent
drought and improving droughts. Nowhere is listed as “soaked” or “just the
right amount of rain.” And if you reflect on government announcements of
these things, all places seem to fall into one of three categoiies: catastrophic
flooding, catastrophic drought, or forgettable.

Some years ago, the head of the local bureaucracy in charge of the dis-
tribution of water was quoted in the newspaper along these lines: “If these
conditions persist, rationing will certainly become necessary.” If these con-
ditions persist? That’s quite the assumption. We could say during the next
rainfall: “If these conditions persist, it will become necessary for everyone
to build an ark.” Conditions never persist. They change. Bureaucrats really
hate that.

One suspects that these same people love droughts. Droughts give
them power, not just over the aggregate use of water. They enjoy press-
ing people on the smallest details of life. They get to tell you that you must
take short showers. They tell you that you must flush less. They impose
a profound sense of guilt on your for watering the basil growing in your
window box.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Droughts can turn the most innocent public employee into the moral
equivalent of a Gestapo agent, issuing dictates and imposing fines, ferreting
out the water thieves, all in the name of the public interest.

Droughts turn neighbor against neighbor, and force the whole of every-
one into the criminal class, reduced to sneaking around at night to water
tomato plants. Droughts make everyone feel dependent on the state. We
must read their rules, such as, “Even-numbered houses may water their
lawns from 4 a.m. to 6 a.m., Monday, Thursday, and Sunday.”

So rain, rain, go away. That’s their theme.

Bureaucrat International has a common feature: loathing of “consum-
erism.” Whereas people want to have choice over how they spend their
money, bureaucrats want us to suffer constantly, and be intensely aware of
what we use, not trusting the price system to determine our consumption
patterns but rather obeying regulations and strictures.

Note that no drought ever officially ends. The papers are packed with
warnings of impending doom during the worst of it. But when the torrents
of rain come — and they invariably do, eventually — there is no press release
that says something along the lines of: “Praise Be to God, the drought is
over. Use as much water as you are willing to pay for!”

Never, never, never. They never say this. They would rather that we
carry with us some sense that the drought is never really over, since, after all,
it could come again.

The core of the problem here has nothing to do with rain and chang-
ing weather patterns. The weather has in fact been changing since the dawn
of time. What creates the problem is public ownership of the means of pro-
duction and the utterly irrational system under which the price doesn’t
change regardless of availability. There is no real profitability here. Nor are
there losses. So there is no economic calculation going on. Prices are deter-
mined by extra-market indicators.

Think of the difference with the market system. Every day we are
enticed to consume every product you can imagine: cars, celery, comput-
ers, anything. There is constant calibrating of supply and demand. If any-
one attempts to overprice a product and make profits, another entrepreneur
sweeps in to offer the same for less and draw profits away. Innovation is
everywhere, so that suppliers are required to adopt the latest thing in order
to stay afloat. No profits are permanent. They are always and everywhere
threatened. These days, this happens almost overnight.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Now think of the difference with public water markets, in which the
theme is always: you are using too much. Interesting isn’t it? Why is this?
It’s because the market is not being allowed to work. This has nothing to
do with the product in question. If you doubt it, make a visit to your local
grocery and the bottled water section in particular. There are vast numbers
of choices, with each supplier begging you to consume. But in public water
markets, they demand that you conserve. State ownership and management
of the means of production are the key reason. Privatize — completely priva-
tize — the supply of water and a change would emerge overnight.

People immediately respond that this is a crazy idea. Streams, lakes,
reservoirs, and water towers can’t be owned privately! But is that really so?
There are many cases of partial privatization on record, though the man-
dates are extreme. No doubt that there are efficiency gains that come with
contracting out and privatized but regulated markets. The best solution is
die same one that applies to all of the areas of life that are considered public
goods, from trash collection and disposal to schools and defense: the gov-
ernment should get out of the business entirely.

Talk about opposition. Labor unions go bonkers when presented
with the idea. Bureaucrats do too. Even religious groups have gotten in
on the act. See, for example, the growing movement of Nuns Against Bot-
ded Water. Presbyterians for Restoring Creation are circulating pledges for
people to sign that foreswear drinking bottled water. These people claim
diat we shouldn’t have to pay for what should be a free gift from God. But,
oddly, these same people don’t seem to have a problem with people’s pay-
ing of die government’s water bill.

Look, it’s not complicated: drought is anodrer name for shortage. Gov-
ernment is capable of creating a shortage in any good through bureau-
cratic management. Prices do not respond to supply and demand, and a
lack of innovation characterizes production. We see this in schooling, mails,
defense, courts, and every other area in which government enjoys a monop-
oly. It shouldn’t surprise us that the same is true in water provision. Instead
of blaming Mother Nature and the consumer, the water commissioners
should look closer to home to see why everyone is required to live in fear
and is reduced to doing rain dances to keep die water gods happy.

The Relentless Misery
of 1.6 Gallons

January 5, 2010

M y order at my favorite Chinese takeout was taking too long. I
stopped into the men’s room. There I witnessed a common scene:
the modern toilet disaster. An otherwise clean business had a rest-
room calamity on its hands, one so grim that I hesitate to describe it.

The conjectural history is not difficult to reconstruct. The toilet appar-
ently had trouble flushing. There was a plunger by the toilet, of course, as
we see everywhere today. The toilet was plunged to get rid of the obstruc-
tion, while the obstruction itself spilled all over the floor and stuck to the
plunger too.

The customer probably left the ghastly scene in a rush. Management
knew nothing. But now customers were coming and going into this bath-
room, surely losing all inspiration to eat or order food.

It would be easy to blame the restaurant owners. What is with these
people and why can’t they at least have a clean restroom? But reacting this
way would be unjust. The hidden hand behind this unsanitary calamity is
tire U.S. government. The true origin of the mess was not in the hour before
I arrived but back in 1994, after Congress passed the Energy Policy Act
(passed in 1992).

This act, passed during an environmentalist hysteria, mandated that all
toilets sold in the United States use no more than 1.6 gallons of water per
flush. This was a devastating setback in the progress of civilization. The
conventional toilet in the U.S. ranges from 3.5 gallons to 5 gallons. The new
law was enforced with fines and imprisonment.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

For years, there was a vibrant black market for Canadian toilet tanks
and a probtable smuggling operation in effect. This seems either to have
subsided or to have gone so far underground that it doesn’t make the news.
I’ve searched the web in vain for evidence of any 3.5 or 5.0 gallon toilet
tanks for sale through normal channels. I wonder what one of these fetches
in the black market. This possible source has no prices and an uncertain
locale.

The toilet manufacturers, meanwhile, are all touting their latest pat-
ented innovations as a reason for the reduced hysteria surrounding the
toilet disaster. I suspect something different. We have all gotten used to a
reduced standard of living— just as the people living in the Soviet Union
became accustomed to cold apartments, long bread lines, and poor dental
care. There is nothing about our standard of living that is intrinsic to our
sense of how things ought to be. Let enough time pass and people forget
tilings.

So let us remember way back when:

• Toilets did not need plungers next to them, and thank goodness.

Used plungers are nasty, disease carrying, and filthy. It doesn’t mat-
ter how cute the manufacturer tries to make them or in how many
colors you can buy them. In the old days, you would never have
one exposed for guests. It was kept out in the garage for the rare
occasion when someone threw a ham or something stranger down
die toilet.

• Toilet paper was super thick and getting thicker. None of this one-ply

nonsense.

• You never had any doubt about the capacity of die todet to flush com-

pletely, with only one pull of the handle. The toilet stayed clean
dianks to five gallons of rushing water pouring through it after each
flush.

These were great cultural and civilizational achievements. In a state of
nature, the problem of human waste and what to do about it is persistent.
Do the wrong thing and you spread disease and misery.

Indoor plumbing since the time of the ancient world has been a sign of
prosperity and human well-being. Indoor toilets that flow into a sewer have
been around since 1500 B.C., but every new settlement of people in a new
area presents the problem anew. In rural America, indoor toilets weren’t
common until the 1930s. That today everyone assumes them to be part of
life is a testament to the creative power of economic progress.

The Relentless Misery of 1 .6 Gallons

What we have in these regulations passed since the 1990s is therefore
a step backwards from a central aspiration of mankind to dispose of human
waste in the best possible way. We have here an instance of government hav-
ing forced society into a lower stage of existence.

Government has reduced us as people to the point that we either have
to enter the black market to get good sewage or come to terms with living
amidst periodic spreading of human waste all over our domestic and com-
mercial environment.

Again, this is wholly unnecessary. Capitalism achieved something spec-
tacular in waste disposal. Government came along and took it away from us.
That’s tire story in a nutshell.

Today, every toilet company touts its latest innovations to overcome the
problem. There are high-pressure blasters that run off electricity, designed
to force a paltry 1.6 gallons of water through fast enough to make the differ-
ence. They are shockingly loud and scary. There are new shapes of tanks
and new flow mechanisms that are said to compensate for the calamity, but
this works only some of the time.

Each of these innovations is patented — meaning that a successful proj-
ect cannot be copied and improved by other companies. So even if these
are improvements, their distribution is limited and the successful aspects of
them are not extended by others, for fear of patent lawsuits. The entire mar-
ket is hobbled.

The result is an entire society of poorly working toilets and a life of
adjustment to the omnipresence of human feces, all in a short 15 years.
Thanks so much, Congress!

Of course the environmentalists are in on the whole project. They
started telling us back in the 1970s that our large tanks were sheer waste.
We should put bricks in them to save and conserve. If you didn’t have a
brick in your toilet, you were considered irresponsible and a social misfit.
Eventually of course the brick became, in effect, a mandate, and finally toilet
tanks were reduced to one third of their previous size.

Back then, it was just assumed that toilet manufacturers cared no tiring
at all about wasting water. Surely there was no rationale at all for why they
consumed five gallons per flush as opposed to 1.6 gallons. This is just capi-
talist excess and down with it!

Well, think again: there was wisdom in those old designs. The envi-
ronmentalists didn’t account for the present reality in which people typi-
cally flush twice, three times, or even four times during a single toilet event.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Whether this ends up using more or less in the long run is entirely an empir-
ical question, but let us just suppose that the new microtanks do indeed
save water. In the same way, letting people die of infections conserves anti-
biotics, not brushing teeth conserves toothpaste, and not using anesthesia
during surgery conserves needles and syringes.

Here is the truth that environmentalists do not face: Sometimes con-
serving is not a good idea. There are some life activities that cry out for the
expenditure of resources, even in the most generous possible way. I would
count waste disposal as one of those.

It is also possible that some people just like to get their kicks out of
spreading misery and making it impossible for us to enjoy a clean and pros-
perous life. Like Puritans of old, they see virtue in suffering and would like
to see ever more of it. It sounds perverse, but such an ethos does exist. And
clearly, government doesn’t care in the slightest.

There are many tragedies associated with the toilet calamity. There are
private embarrassments at guest houses and disgust at every turn. Many
of the customers at that Chinese takeout probably blame the owners, who
themselves are probably mystified as to why toilets in communist China
probably worked just fine but in capitalist America are throwing filth all
over their restaurant.

It’s the hidden hand of government that has mandated this leap back to
barbarism.

The Great Drain Debacle

September 26, 2006

I n Purgatory, there probably aren’t any garbage disposals. People there
will have to scrape all food remains into the trash, and if so much as an
onion bit gets into the drain, it will have to be carefully fished out before
the water is turned on, lest the drain clog.

And also it will be as in many cities on the East and West coasts: the
garbage will have to be separated into plastic, glass, cans, and food muck.
So there will be no peace after dinner, no shoving all leftovers down a hole
in the sink and flipping the switch to grind it up. No, we will have to think
really hard about all our trash, let bottles soak to remove labels, put the foil
from the potato in a separate bag from tire potato itself.

But so long as we are on earth, the garbage disposal and the unified
trash system seem perks of life itself. For years, I’ve reveled in it. They still
don’t have them in Europe, where things seem to have regressed since the
Middle Ages when sewage systems became more common. Nowadays, the
Euro-people commonly toss their trash in their own yards, and try to cover
up for this primitive reality by calling it “composting.” If you were a New
Yorker before 1997, you were guilty of a crime if you used a garbage dis-
posal. But the state finally relented and granted the freedom to grind.

When my last garbage disposal wore out, the search for a replacement
was a joy. You can get a normal household disposal with 14 horsepower or
you can step it up with a % horsepower engine. Or you can dare to step into
the future with X-treme disposals with 1 horsepower engines, capable of
grinding up a whole pineapple or a sack of potatoes or set of glass tumblers
you are tired of.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

And so of course there was no choice for me. With my new unit, there
was nothing that wouldn’t go down. That crab leg dinner left piles and
piles of orange crustaceans on plates, but in they went. Thanksgiving tur-
key remains: in goes the coipse! My double batch of muffins overcooked,
but no problem: down the grinding machine go 24 muffins. Chickens, pork
chop bones, and even the much-dreaded banana peel.

It all worked so well. Where’s the downside? I couldn’t see any. The
next step of course is grease. Everyone knows, or so we are told: never ever
put grease down the drain. But, hey, this the modern age! Why take house-
hold appliance advice from people who are still living in the 50s?

So it started with bacon grease. Zoom! Then I pushed the envelope
further and further. In tire most outrageous act of disposal extremism ever,
I dumped a full gallon of hot grease straight into the sink and watched with
pride as it slid lazily and effortlessly down. Again, where’s the downside?

For a time, it seemed that I could get away with these “sink sins” for-
ever. Then one day I noticed a certain bogginess. The disposal side didn’t
seem quite as robust. Water would back up sometimes before flowing out
again. Then one day — and now it seemed inevitable — it stopped. A bit of
plunging pushed it right through again, and I figured that all was well. But
then the plunging became more frequent.

I must have slipped into some state of denial as my plunging became
weekly, then daily, and then several times daily. I had to have the plunger
very nearby if I was to work in the kitchen at all. My conscience was telling
me the truth: all my abuse of the system was finally catching up to me. But I
ignored that quiet inner voice, and figured I could live this way. I was living
an illusion. My dream of grinding a mountain of trash came to an end.

Finally one day I gave in and called a plumber. He came and went,
announcing that all was well. Fine, I thought: back to my old ways. But of
course all was not well. Then it finally happened this past weekend: a stop-
page that would not be broken. As if to confirm the persistence of natural
law, it began following another bacon-grease dump. The water wouldn’t
move.

I plunged and plunged until my back muscles were sore. Sometimes
if I put the plunger in the wrong spot, water would splash up and I would
taste the muck, that combination of old garbage with the overriding smell
of bacon, a tepid and thick gray-brown oily muck. The more it splashed
in my face, the more I didn’t care. The muck soared high in the air, drop-
ping on countertops far and wide, landing in my hair, soaking my clothes.
Sweat mixed with the bacon muck and dripped all over my face. Blisters

The Great Drain Debacle

began to appear on my hands. But the pain was not an issue: I had to beat
this clog!

No progress.

It was time to break out the chemicals. Liquid Plumber Gel. Baking
Soda. Lye. Boiling Water. Vinegar. Anything! Nothing worked.

Should I call a plumber? Heck, I thought, what does a plumber have
but the right tools? So it was off to Wal-Mart to acquire them myself, and
I ended up with a dazzling little addition to my do-it-yourself toolkit: a
15-foot drain snake. This would surely to it! I put that snake down, a free
passage for 15 feet until I reached the end. No blockage. But still the sink
did not drain.

Despair set in. I imagined the crews from the city arriving the next day,
with city officials and even the city planner. They would have to dig up
my yard with huge tractors. The sidewalks would be ripped up. Special-
ists would have to be brought it to assess the damage I had caused. There
are probably 1 5 different agencies that oversee the water supply and they
would all be allied against me.

I would be sitting there in my kitchen alone, vulnerable, guilty, and they
would be writing citations, wagging their fingers at me, fining me — maybe
even hauling me off to jail for failing to abide by sink regulations. My neigh-
bors will hate me. My life will fall apart. I would sit in prison and rethink my
life. This is the price I would pay for ignoring my conscience.

Another day passed, another day of tepid sink muck. And then some-
thing struck me. The left side of the sink works fine. Only the garbage dis-
posal side is stuck. But both the garbage disposal and the other sink flow
down the same tube, so how does this make any sense? And I’ve already
snaked out the garbage disposal, so that can’t be it.

Then, finally, a revelation. There are two tubes coming from the dis-
posal unit. One goes to the main drainage and one goes to the dishwasher.
I had snaked out the wrong one! But then another problem arose. I could
not get the snake down the right one, because the entry point was hidden
beneath the choppers on the disposal unit. How will I get in?

At long last, I opened the counter door. The pipes were plastic PVC.
They all fit together nicely with large holts that can be twisted by hand. I
twisted the one that led from the disposal to the main pipe and gently
moved it to the side.

And there was the offending glob. It was just sticking there, sort of
lifelike. With a fork I removed it. It was an accumulation of six months of

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

grindings. But tangled up at the very front of the glob was the most marvel-
ous tiring. It was a big piece of green plastic, something shaped sort of like a
washer. It could have been from anything. No one had ever seen it before. It
might have been there for years. It had evidently fallen down the sink, man-
aged to slip through the grinding and then rammed into the pipes were it
stayed lodged and began to accumulate muck. It might have been there for
many years, for all I knew.

Once having removed this, I screwed the pipe back together, and voila:
everything worked perfectly again. Better than ever! Three days of hell were
over, after an operation that took maybe 90 seconds. Unbelievable!

But here was the real triumph. This little green plastic thing had expi-
ated my sins. It turned out that none of my supposedly had habits had done
anything to clog my disposal. In fact, to the extent that some of those bones
and grease finally caused a choking, that was a good thing because it led
me to the fundamental source of tire problem. I was guilt free! I could again
walk with an upright heart.

Every civic culture in human history has attempted to distort our
moral sense. They want us to believe that right and wrong consist in obey-
ing social and civic priorities. But there is no moral norm involved in such
issues as whether we own disposal units or what we put in them. Those are
merely issues of technology that change with the times; our only restriction
is not to impose on others’ person or property.

Morals do not come from the state and society. Morality deals with
weightier matters that measure our thoughts, words, and deeds against uni-
versal that are true regardless of time and place. And in this time and this
place, we can grind our garbage to our hearts’ content.

Crush the Sprinkler Guild

May 9, 2006

I suspected as much! What the lady at Home Depot called the “sprin-
kler repair cult” is an emerging guild seeking privileges and regulations
from the government. That means a supply restriction, high prices, or
another do-it-yourself project. But there is a way around it.

I first began to smell a rat when the automatic irrigation system on my
front yard needed work but I had unusual struggles in trying to find a repair
guy.

The first place I called informed me that they could accept no more cli-
ents. Clients? I just wanted a new sprinkler thing, for goodness sake. I don’t
want to be a client; I want to be a customer. Is there no one who can put on
a new sprayer or stick a screwdriver in there or whatever it needs?

Nope, all full.

The next call was not returned.

The next call ended with the person on the line fearfully saying that
they do landscaping but will have nothing to do with sprinklers or “auto-
mated irrigation systems.” Umm, ok.

The next call seemed more promising. The secretary said they had an
opening on the schedule in three weeks. Three weeks? In that period of
time, my yard will be the color of a brown paper bag.

The next call failed. And the next one. And tire next. Finally I was back
to the off-putting secretary. I made the appointment but the guy never came.
Fortunately, in the meantime, a good rain came, and then at regular intervals
for the whole season, and I was spared having to deal with this strangely
maddening situation.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Why all the fuss? We aren’t talking brain surgery here. These are sprin-
klers, little spray nozzles connected to tubes connected to a water supply.
Why was everyone so touchy about the subject?

Why did all the power seem to be in their hands, and none in mine?
Must I crawl and beg?

Above all, I wonder why, with most all lawns in new subdivisions sport-
ing these little things, why oh why are the people who repair them in such
sort supply?

Little did I know that I had stumbled onto the real existence of a most
peculiar thing in our otherwise highly competitive economy: a guild.

It had all the earmarks. If you want your nails buffed, there are thou-
sand people in town who stand ready. If you want someone to make you
dinner, you can take your pick among a thousand restaurants. If you want to
buy a beer, you can barely go a block without bumping into a merchant who
is glad to sell you one. None of that is true with sprinkler repair.

What does a guild do? It attempts to restrict service. And why? To keep
the price as high as possible. And how? By admitting only specialists, or
supposed specialists, to the ranks of service providers, usually through the
creation of some strange but largely artificial system of exams or payments
or whatever.

Guilds don’t last in a free market. No one can blame producers for try-
ing to pull it off. But they must always deal with defectors. Even the pros-
pects of defectors can cause people who might not otherwise defect, to turn
and attempt to beat others to the punch.

There is just no keeping a producer clique together for long when prof-
its are at stake.

There is also the problem that temporarily successful guilds face: high
profits attract new entrants into the field. They must either join the guild or
go their own way. This creates an economically unviable situation in a mar-
ket setting that is always driving toward a market-clearing rate of return.

Further evidence of the existence of a sprinkler guild came from the
checkout lady at the Home Depot. I was buying a sprinkler head and she
said in passing that they didn’t used to carry these things, and the decision
of the manufacturer to supply them in retail got some people mighty upset.
She spoke of the sprinkler repair people as a cult that should be smashed!

Now, does this guild really exist or is it an informal arrangement among
a handful of local suppliers? As best I can tell, here is the guild’s website

Crush the Sprinkler Guild

(http://www.irrigation.org/default.aspx). The Irrigation Association is
active in:

• Providing a voice for the industry on public policy issues related to

standards, conservation and water-use on local, national and inter-
national levels

• Acting as a source of technical and public policy information within

tire industry

• Raising awareness of the benefits of professional irrigation services

• Offering professional training and certification

• Uniting irrigation professionals, including irrigation equipment man-

ufacturers, distributors and dealers, irrigation system designers,
contractors, educators, researchers, and technicians from the pub-
lic and private sectors.

Catch that? Certification. Unity. Standards! Public policy. These are all
dangerous words, that come down to the same result: high prices and bad
service.

Why should anyone become certified? “Prestige and credibility
among peers and customers”; “professional advancement opportunities”;
“Enhances the professional image of the industry — your industry.”

I thought I needed a sprinkler repairman but these people want me
to hire a Certified Landscape Irrigation Manager, a CLIM. How do you
become a CLIM? Well you have to send in $400 plus a resume that includes
an “overview summary of how you plan to meet program criteria:

Two examples of project development to include:

• System design objective

• System budget estimate

• Water source development

• System design drawings: hydraulic, electrical, detail drawings, pump

station

Project specifications:

• General specification

• Installation specification

• Material specification

• Pump station

Two system audits or evaluations to include:

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

AUDIT

• System performance (uniformity)

• Base schedule

• Recommendations for improvement
EVALUATION

• System performance (uniformity)

• Hydraulic analysis

• Electrical analysis

• Grounding

• Water source

• Product performance

• Recommendations for improvement

Two construction and/or construction management projects:

• Site visit reports

• Drawing of record

• Final irrigation schedule

• Punch lists

Of course they are working with government, federal, state, and local.
They want restrictions of every sort. They want their own Turf and Land-
scape Irrigation Best Management Practices or BMP to be the law of the
land. You can read more about this here.

How hip-deep are these people in government? It’s hard to say. But Pm
guessing that local developers, landscapers, builders, and others are intimi-
dated by all these and are reluctant to challenge their monopoly.

So thank goodness for hardware stores! They are working to bust up
this vicious little guild, to the benefit of the consumer and everyone else.
It means having to stick your fingers in mud and read instruction manuals
and die like but sometimes the defense of liberty requires that you get your
hands a little dirty.

The Key to a Happy Life

April 17,2003

A h, Spring, tire time when the landscape appears as if it were painted
by a great artist, when the birds make music of symphonic quality,
and when the very air we breath feels air conditioned. That last point
is particularly important, because it is only true so long as we are outside.

If we are inside, it is a different matter altogether.

Most of the year, indoor air is fabulously fresh, clean, and circulating at
tire right temperature, thanks to the greatest source for clean wonderful air:
not the Clean Air Act but central air conditioning and heating. When peo-
ple say, hey, turn on the air, it is literally true. We hardly open windows any-
more, which (not being Mr. Outdoors) I think is fine in principle.

But in the Spring, the air goes off. It is no longer cold enough for heat
but not yet warm enough for air conditioning. The thermostat tells the
machine to stay put. You could turn on just the blower, but who thinks of
doing that? So the air just sort of sits there, dormant and still. It is the right
temperature, but it is not moving.

You might not notice this at first. But once you focus on it, you sud-
denly realize: I’m suffocating!

This is precisely the revelation that hit me two nights ago. For two
weeks, nights had been oddly miserable. I wasn’t too hot or too cold, just
oddly and unidentihably uncomfortable. I would wake somehow unrested.
Am I sick? Am I getting old? Finally it hit me. The only circulation in this
room comes from human breath!

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

This room needs a fan running! On it came, and with it, life itself. The
night was suddenly glorious, clean, and happy. All dreams were dreamy.
I awoke and there was once again music in the air, the feel of flowers, the
sound of birds (metaphorically of course). The fan had brought the Spring
indoors.

Then I began to notice something. This problem isn’t limited to the
bedroom. It afflicts virtually all indoor space. In the Spring, with neither
heater nor air conditioner, indoor air begins to sink into a stultifying blechi-
ness. If you are sitting in tire same spot, you are breathing the same air again
and again.

My office needed a fan too! I turned it on to the same effect: the flowers
appeared, the birds sang, the air moved! Suddenly my day has become as
glorious as my night, filled with rapturous, Spring-like freshness. The fan!
God bless it.

At this point in a superficially trivial essay such as this, one is supposed
to plunge into history and reveal all the details that one knows about the his-
tory of the fan, so that the reader won’t walk away thinking: I can’t believe
this guy thinks that his personal fan experience is worthy of an article.

Or I could plunge into the economics of the fan, how it is the system of
free enterprise that gives us such choice: ceiling fans, stand-up fans, desk
fans, clip-on fans, hand-held fans, and more. Hence the system of delivery
must be guarded against all encroachment by the state.

But thanks to the fan running in my office, I feel no burdens to defer
to any model of writing that is so tediously conventional. In any case, the
economic point is obvious enough in that fans are available everywhere. As
for the history, it turns out that this isn’t necessary. The history of the fan
is already well documented at the website of the Fan Museum in London
(http://www.fan-museum.org/liistory.htm).

Of course the history on this site, a bit pompous, deals with the inferior
and primitive hand-held fan. For the serious stuff that we use in real life, you
have to go to the site of the Fan Collectors Association (http://www.fancol-
lectors.org/) in Andover, Kansas, which is appropriately hip to the mag-
nificence of the electric fan. This site has an amazing array of pictures of its
fans. You can also participate in the Fan Forum. You can attend an event,
which, the site says, is “a great way to meet new friends, share fan stories,
and buy, sell and trade fans.”

The Key to a Happy Life

Maybe so. What I do know is that a fan is the key to a happy sleep. It is
the key to a happy, productive day. And because nights and days make up
tire whole of life, the fan is the key to a happy life. For a mere $9-20, you can
bring the Spring indoors without the bugs, or pollen, or other natural men-
aces. Buy a fan and live a full life!

Municipalized Trash:
It's Uncivilized

September 14, 2009

D riving in to work today, I saw garbage bins overflowing and city
dumpsters spilling out with trash. It stinks. It’s disgusting. It’s
uncivilized. It’s probably dangerous to some extent.

It’s a holiday, so of course the government workers charged with pick-
ing up this nasty refuse can’t work, even though construction workers in
private firms are busy bees taking advantage of the extra time.

It’s true with house trash too: pickup is once per week — on schedule —
and there is nothing you can do to make it more frequent. It’s part of the
master plan, don’t you know, and if you make more trash than the once-per-
week pickup can contain, that is your problem, not the city’s.

The very fear that people have about private trash collection — that trash
will pile up and no one will do anything about it — turns out to be a regular
feature of government trash collection. But we look the other way. Why?

Before getting to this, let us first establish that garbage is a serious issue.
William F. Buckley, his head full of schemes for threatening populations
with nuclear annihilation, once chided libertarians for bothering with such
petty concerns as trash collection.

“It is only because of the conservatives’ disposition to sacrifice in order
to withstand the enemy,” wrote Buckley in 1961, “that [libertarians] are
able to enjoy their monasticism, and pursue their busy little seminars on
whether or not to demunicipalize the garbage collectors.”

All yes, little seminars. Seminars about such things as the avoiding the
plague. Humanity has some experience with the results of failing to dispose

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

of trash properly, and that experience was deadly. Plagues swept the ancient
world every 50 years or so, spread mainly through a lack of good sanitation.
The Black Death in Europe might have been avoided with better sanitation
and a decent system for disposing of trash rather than letting it pile up on
tire streets.

History’s fight with the plague in the developed world came to an end
at the time of the rise of capitalism in the late middle ages, and no surprise
there. With the accumulation of capital came innovation in trash disposal,
since living in sanitary conditions and staying alive turns out to be some-
thing of a priority for people. This is why the largest advances in garbage
collection came about during the Industrial Revolution.

And yet here we are in 2009, with trash piled up on the streets and
stinking to high heaven, bags full of raw animal parts (chickens, pigs, cows,
fish), baby diapers stuffed with waste, rotting eggs mixed with sour cream
dip from game-day parties, piles that are right now being scavenged by
roaches and rats. This is in a town that prides itself on its tidiness.

And we put up with this for the same reason that we put up with
lost mail, potholes in roads, dilapidated schools, depreciated money,
and a clogged court system: because these services are monopolized by
government.

Now you can make all the public-goods arguments you want to about
roads and courts, but trash disposal is not rocket science and could be eas-
ily handled by the market. Everyone wants trash removed, and the sooner
tire better.

That means that there is a market demand for the service. There is
money to be made. The only way to keep something like this at bay is to
make it illegal.

If the market were in charge, pickup would surely be more than once
per week. We wouldn’t have to drag our trash bins out to the curb. In fact,
we would be faced with several or many options for trash pickup.

If we made more trash than we “should,” we wouldn’t get angry notes
from the city government. The private pickup companies would be thrilled.
We might be paying by frequency of pickup or perhaps by the pound. That
would be for the market to decide.

In fact, trash pickup services might actually be characterized by — per-
ish the thought — innovation, just as they were in the early part of the 20th
century, when trash collection was mostly private. Our houses might be
directly connected to underground trash-transmission services that would

Municipalized Trash: It’s Uncivilized

whisk it all away in an instant. Our kitchens might have highly effective trash
chutes that would zap away trash as we make it.

But because of this ghastly tradition of municipalizing trash pickup (or
we might call it Sovietizing), the entire industry is stuck in the past, utterly
impervious to improvement and modernization.

We get our news through fiber optics, walk around with tiny wireless
phones that can instantly connect with anyone anywhere, and shop digitally
with any vendor in the world. But when it comes to trash, we are still relying
on once-per-week, strictly scheduled pickups by tax-funded workers driv-
ing monstrous, old-model trucks.

In my town, even the trashcans are paid for and owned by the govern-
ment, as if the private sector has yet to figure out on its own initiative how to
make a tub for holding things.

So why does this system persist? I asked a few people about this, and
the answer usually came down to some system of graft. Powerful people
make the trucks, manage the landfills, and dole out the contracts. Perhaps
so, but why do we put up with it?

It seems like a preposterously unobjectionable plan: open this system
to private ownership and competition, and thereby innovation.

I don’t just mean contracting out. I mean abolishing city trash pickup
and letting private enterprise completely take over. There is just no way that
tlie existing muck would persist, for it offends every aesthetic sensibility and
it may pose a ghastly health risk.

As for the old conservative claim diat libertarians are insufficiently wor-
ried about the Soviet threat and too worried about garbage collection, note
drat the Soviet Union is gone and the garbage problem is still with us.

A Lesson in Mortality

January 19, 2005

eath in the family is always hard, but three in three weeks is espe-
ially difficult for children, even though it only involved pets.

-L A-First it was the green tree frog discovered at the local car repair shop
and taken home to be cared for. “Sticky” lived two months, long enough for
tire kids to become very attached. One day we found him dead in his cage.

Then it was the two chickens brought home soon after being hatched at
a friend’s chicken coop. They lived only two days, and died so innocent, so
young and vulnerable.

Below I reprint the grave-side homilies that I offered when they were
buried. But first: a reflection on mortality, a fact of life even more inevitable
than taxes that modernity still can’t seem to come to terms with.

Death impresses upon us the limits of technology and ideology. It
comes in time no matter what we do. Prosperity has lengthened life spans
and science and entrepreneurship have made available amazing technolo-
gies that have forestalled and delayed it.

Yet, it must come.

As Mises puts it: “Man lives in the shadow of death. Whatever he may
have achieved in the course of his pilgrimage, he must one day pass away
and abandon all that he has built. Each instant can become his last. There is
only one tiring that is certain about the individual’s future — death.”

Modernity has a problem intellectually processing the reality of death
because we are so unwilling to defer to the implacable constraints imposed
on us within the material world. Whole ideologies have been concocted
on the supposition that such constraints do not have to exist. That is the
essence of socialism. It is the foundation of U.S. imperialism too, with its

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

cocky supposition that there is nothing force cannot accomplish, that there
are no limits to the uses of power.

To recognize the inevitability of death means confessing that there are
limits to our power to manufacture a reality for ourselves. It is akin to admit-
ting that certain fundamental facts of the world, like the ubiquity of scar-
city, cannot be changed. Instead of attempting to change it, we must imag-
ine social systems that come to terms with it. This is the core claim of eco-
nomic science, and it is also the very reason so many refuse to acknowledge
its legitimacy or intellectual binding power.

To discover the fountain of youth is a perpetual obsession, one that
finds its fulfillment in the vitamin cults that promise immortality. We cre-
ate government programs to pay for people to be kept alive forever on the
assumption that death is always and everywhere unwarranted and ought
to be stopped. There is no such thing as “natural death” anymore; the very
notion strikes us as a cop out.

Thus do we insist on always knowing the “cause” of death, as if it only
comes about through an exogenous intervention, like hurricanes, traffic
accidents, shootings, and bombs. But even when a person dies of his own
accord, we always want to know so that we have something to blame. Heart
failure? Well, he or she might have done a bit more exercise. Let this be
a lesson. Cancer? It’s probably due to smoking, or perhaps second-hand
smoke. Or maybe it was the carcinogens introduced by food manufacturers
or factories. We don’t want to admit that it was just time for a person to die.

The denial of death’s inevitability is especially strange since life itself
serves up constant reminders of our physical limits. Sleep serves as a kind
of metaphor for death. We can stay awake working and having fun up to 18
hours, even 24 or 36, but eventually we must bow to our natures and col-
lapse and sleep. We must fall unconscious so that we can be revived to con-
tinue on with our life.

Pills can delay the need for sleep but cannot obliterate it. There are no
substitutes for sleep, no foods we can eat, no exercise we can undertake,
no special words we can say. We can shake our fist in anger at our body’s
demand for sleep but we still must give in. Sleep wins out over our indi-
vidual wills every day of our lives, just as death wins out over our will to live
forever.

Our struggle against mortality can take productive forms of course,
as when we seek to leave great legacies in the material world: wealth, art,
children, literature, charity, changed lives. We do all this in part because we
seek ways to make our brief lives take on meaning beyond themselves. To

A Lesson in Mortality

be high-minded means to care not only about our own times but also about
those that follow. If we cannot live forever, we at least want our impact on
this world to live longer than nature permits us to live.

All these impulses appear to be unique to the human person, a reflec-
tion of our unique rationality and (for theists) the presence of a soul. Ani-
mals are another matter entirely. They avoid death by instinct (yes, I real-
ize the term explains nothing) but they do not seek immortality or strive
to leave legacies or work to extend the life span of their species, or other-
wise improve the lot of their fellows through innovation. They are what we
would be if we lacked rationality and souls.

When a pet dies, all children ask the question: will my pet go to heaven?
I suppose the answer must be: not in the way we will find heaven. And yet
the children want hope that their pet will live again, and that they will see
them living again. And because no Scripture seems to say that there can-
not be, it is reasonable to say that animals can live eternally if God so desires
it. There are many problems with this idea, of course, since orthodoxy
says there is no flesh in heaven but if animals have no souls, how, precisely,
would they go there?

In tire moments following the death of a pet, such theological ramblings
have no place. What the moment calls for is “closure,” to use an overused
buzz word.

And so we gather in silence and dig the hole in the ground, place the
corpse in and say some words.

We gather to bury and pay tribute to Sticky, a tree frog who
has been a good friend to us all. Quiet and unassuming, he
lived a good life, stirred our imaginations, and delighted us
with his antics. We will miss you, Sticky. We are grateful for
tire life you lived. If there were ever a tree frog that deserved
to enter the gates of heaven, it was surely Sticky.

Each child takes some dirt on the shovel and tosses it in the grave, and
it is patted down. We stand in silence for a few moments, and walk away in
tire quiet evening.

A similar scene repeated itself with the tiny chicks.

We gather to bury these two tiny chicks. Though they
were so young, and lived such short lives, we still gave
them names: One-Minute Egg, and Two-Minute Egg. We
will always remember them. Let us remember that we too
will die one day, and, when considering the whole length

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

of eternity, our lives are not much longer than theirs. May
our souls be as innocent as theirs when we breathe our last
breath.

By this time, the children were rather bored with funeral drama. They
quickly scampered off to live full lives in the sunshine of day, deciding right
then to think about death only when they must, but otherwise to live and
love every breath. And so it should be.

COMMERCE

Truth in the Coin Shop

August 12,2008

Y ou are uptown in a shopping district of a small community, and you
pass by the meat shop, the wine shop, the coffee shop, two churches
side by side, a coin shop, an antique store . . . and hold it right there.

A coin shop? This is irresistible, because, as implausible as this may
sound, all political truth can be found in a coin shop. And not just political
truth: you find in here the story of the whole of modern life on exhibit, and
learn more from looking than you find in a multivolume history.

There they are on display: coins from all lands. Why are they worth
more than the coins in your pocket? Because they are old? That’s part of it
but not the essence of it. There are some new coins here that are also just as
valuable as the old ones.

What is critical is that they are made of gold and silver. You can pick
them up and tell the difference. They are heavy. Stack them and let them fall
on each other, and they make a different sound from the coins that usually
rattle around in your pocket.

ft strikes everyone and anyone immediately. Somehow these coins are
“real”; the coins we use today are not. But what does this really mean? And
what does it imply?

The value of the coins amounts to far more than their marked value.
Even dimes before a certain date sell for ten and fifteen times the face value.
The larger coins can be quite expensive.

What is real here is their substance, not the printing on the outside.
This is the opposite of modern coins, the substance of which is completely
irrelevant; all that matters is what is printed on the outside.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

So the use of the term “real” here parallels how we use this term in any
other context. Reality TV is said to provide the unvarnished truth about
what people really do. We say someone should “get real” if we suspect that
their thought or behavior is a mask or a blindfold that is obscuring a more
obvious truth.

So it is with coins. The new coins we use in transactions are not real.
They are wealing a mask, a disguise, one put on by the state. More absurdly,
the state tells us not to look at the reality but rather to trust God that all is
right with the money in the realm.

The old coins, in contrast, are precisely what they say they are and
therefore have nothing to hide. There are no invocations that require a leap
of faith. The truth is found on tire scale and is told in ounces.

The gold ones are of course the ones you really want to hold. Their
value reflects the metal content. Melt them, restamp them, make them into
jewelry, and they are still worth no less than the market value of the metal.

And who decides what the values of these old coins are? The coins
might bear the likeness of a politician. They might bear the name of the
nation-state. But these pictures and slogans are merely interlopers on the
real point. What you hold is valuable not because some legislature, treasury
department, or central bank says it is valuable. Its worth was and is dictated
by the market, which is to say, die choices and values of human beings. No
government can add to or take away this value except by physically manipu-
lating the coin itself.

Not only diat. If you dig deep enough in the coin shop, you might run
across coins that were not minted by governments at all but by private man-
ufacturers. In the early years of the Industrial Revolution, this was the way
coins were made in Britain, not by the Royal Mint but by entrepreneurs
no different from any other. George Selgin tells the whole story in his aptly
named book Good Money.

It turns out that making money is a business like any other, not some-
thing that only governments do. In a free world, it would be something
done entirely by private enterprise. The same is true of exchanging money.
Some of the world’s first great fortunes were made this way, profiting from
the buy/sell spreads in coinage markets. Today the business is the same in
some respects, and one can see the appeal of it all. Bless those who sustain
it and believe in it.

So long as this good money is in your hands, it is your independent
store of wealth. There are no taxes due, no withdrawals required, no

Truth in the Coin Shop

forms to fill out. It is the physical embodiment of independence. It gives
you freedom. It secures your rights. And because this coin is valued not by
the nation-state, it rises above it and extends beyond it. Its value is recog-
nized the world over, and not because the UN has proclaimed it but rather
because it is something everyone on the planet agrees on.

Geographic mobility is only part of it. Look at the dates on the older
coins: 1910, 1872, 1830, 1810, and earlier and earlier. They are still beau-
tiful because they are durable. Their value is not diminished over time, as
with just about everything else we know about; rather, it increases over time.
And by its very nature, gold protects your investment from the depreda-
tions of modern life.

How they inspire the imagination. What was the world like when such
coins served as money? The economy wasn’t managed by some central
authority. It managed itself from within, by the buying and selling decisions
of economic agents themselves. The coins were selected by the market to
serve as the facilitator of exchange, the things by which we were permitted
to rise above the limits of barter.

They made possible calculation between goods and services that were
as widely diverse as the whole of the human project, and revealed what was
profitable and what was not. So these coins made it possible to organize the
world’s resources into lines of production that served society in the most
efficient way.

And how did the politicians figure into this mix? When they got their
hands on these coins, they could do terrible things. But it was rather dif-
ficult for them to get them. They had to demand that the citizens fork over
die coins or else , which is to say, they had to tax people. You have to have a
pretty good reason to do this. Or die lie you tell has to be pretty darn com-
pelling. You can only tell fibs so many times before people catch on.

If this is the only money that circulates, the aspiring leviathan state faces
a serious limit on its capacity to expand — a limit imposed by physical real-
ity and die unwdlingness of most people to give up something for nothing.

This is why every state is so anxious to see money substitutes circu-
late widely, preferably in the form of paper that can be made at will. If that
same state can get banks to cooperate in creating more paper than can be
redeemed by gold and silver coins, it can begin to habituate the popula-
tion to the idea of a “fiat” currency, that is, money that is invented out of
whole cloth.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Even better for the state is a system that completely separates “paper
money” from its historical roots in good money. Then there are no limits at
all to how much money it can make to fund itself and pay its friends, even if
that means that money in general becomes ever less valuable. (On this pro-
cess, see I layek's Prices and Production.)

And here we have the short history of how money came to be destroyed
and how the modern world came to host the ghastly leviathans that dom-
inate the world. Here is the basis of destructive and unnecessary wars
that last and last, the character-shredding welfare state, and the swarms of
bureaucrats who run our lives in every respect. It all comes down to tire way
money was destroyed.

You can tell from looking at the dates on coins that all of this happened
surprisingly recently. The process began in the early 20th century with the
cartelization of the banking system so that banks could loan money out of
deposits they promised to pay on demand. The government’s own debts
would be paid no matter what. This helped with the war — taxes don’t cut
it when it comes to funding global war — and so the financial system was
encouraged to set aside its usual concerns over stability since it was now
guaranteed not to fail.

The process continued with the attack on gold during the New Deal
under the influence of people like John Maynard Keynes, who believed
that paper money would usher in a new utopia of a government-managed
economy. So desperate was FDR to have people stop trading good money
that he demanded it all be turned in; he said this was necessary to stop the
Depression. Then the paper-money revolution was furthered by people like
Milton Friedman, who Obelieved that a pure paper money would somehow
bring about a stable price level — through a formula that may have looked
good on paper but failed to account for the realities of politics.

In the end, we ended up on the other side of the great divide between
freedom and tyranny, all symbolized by the contrast between the coins of
tire past and the coins of the present. It is reality versus fiat, independence
versus dependence, value that lasts versus value that is the whim of the tran-
sitory political class.

You discover all of this when you walk in the coin shop.

Have a conversation with the proprietor, who tends to be of a type: per-
haps a bit crusty, but highly knowledgeable and independent-minded. At
his office, he lives amidst this history. He is surrounded by the truth about
money that most people never discover. He is daily faced with the beauty
of what once was, and perhaps too he imagines the possibility that it could

Truth in the Coin Shop

be again. He is not usually the despairing type either. He sees the difference
between what is permanent and what is transitory. If you take the time, you
can learn from him.

If you trade with him, you can enter into his world of knowledge and
partake in the ancient truth about money, politics, and civilization. To own
these coins helps grant some sense of independence to you too. You will
possess a store of wealth that is not subject to wild bubbles, state-manufac-
tured inflations, and political whims. It is a kind of privatized secession.

Is it any wonder that people who enter this world think differently from
others? Their blinders are off. They see what is real and true. They no lon-
ger believe in the great modern lie that the state is our wise master, in whom
we should trust our very lives. The owner of gold and silver coins is just a
bit less attached to the state than others. And should a time of great crisis
come, and you look among the survivors, you can be pretty sure that pre-
eminent among them will be those who love the coin shop as much as I do.

Does Money Taint Everything?

May 08, 2008

L et’s pull this sentence out of the civic pieties of our time and see
what’s wrong with it: “We should all volunteer our time in charitable
causes and give back to the community in a labor of love.”

We can’t argue with the instruction here, or the sentiment behind it.
There is nothing wrong with giving and sacrifice. My argument is with the
choice of language. It contains a word and three phrases the common usage
of which can be highly misleading.

Voluntary

This word “volunteer” is used to describe a person who does things in
service of others, and we all know the intent of the term. We speak of vol-
unteering all the time. The United States has what is called the voluntary
sector , which is supposed to refer mostly to nonprofit organizations that
elicit nonremunerative employment. But think of the literal meaning of vol-
untary or volition-, the act of making a conscious and noncoerced choice to
do something. The opposite is to be forced to do something. So prisoners
are forced to sleep on mats; people in the army are forced to march here and
there. Or you and I can volunteer to sleep on a mat or to march here and
there.

It’s true that people serving soup to the poor are not forced to be there.
But in what sense does introducing wages or profit or money generally
change the nature of choice? Are the paid administrators of homeless shel-
ters any less volunteers? Not at all. They are making a conscious choice
to serve the poor, just as the unpaid “volunteers” are making a conscious
choice to be there. They are all free to do something else.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Let’s expand this to the for-profit sector. No one who works in retail
or software or any other industry in a free economy is being forced to do
anything. They are all there by choice, a result of having evaluated a vari-
ety of options and chosen one option over every other possible option (the
opportunity foregone here is what might be called the “cost” of that choice).

The doctor who administers medicine, the lawyer who writes a legal
brief, the salesman who sells you a suit, the clerk who rings up the total —
these are all volunteers. The investment banker is a volunteer. The intro-
duction of money into exchanges (and all actions, charitable or profitable,
are exchanges) doesn’t change anything about the nature of the action. It
doesn’t switch it from voluntary to forced.

This is not merely a terminological dispute. There is an ideolog-
ical import to the use of the term “voluntary” to describe nonremunera-
tive activities. It evidences a bias against the cash economy, as if monetary
exchange and profit is a tainted motive, whereas the removal of money
makes an action pure and beyond reproach. This is completely wrong.

It’s time we demystify the role of money in society. It serves a useful
purpose. Under barter, goods and services are exchanged directly for each
other. That works for primitive economies, but once complexity appears,
barter has its limits. You can’t exchange a cow for an egg or an auto plant
for a hat, because these goods aren’t divisible. You need money to serve as a
proxy for goods and services to exchange later.

Money also serves the vital function of permitting economic calcula-
tion, so you can know if exchanges are profitable (nonwasteful and produc-
tive) or yield losses (wasteful and nonproductive). Thus is the institution of
money not inherently corrupt or tainted; it is highly useful and necessary,
and aiises merely in response to the desire of people to cooperate.

Give Back to the Community

“Give back to the community” is a phrase used to implore people who
have been successful in business to donate their time, talent, and treasure to
some cause besides their business. There is no arguing with the injunction
to serve others, but there is a problem with tire phrase “give back.” It implies
that people with money have taken something from others. But presum-
ing that the businessperson has been successful through enterprise, their
wealth comes not from taking but from co ope ra ling w i th willing buyers.

Let’s see how this works: When you need milk in a hurry, you dash to
tire convenience store and pick up a carton. You put it on the counter and

Does Money Taint Everything?

the clerk says what you owe. At that moment, there is a calculation made.
The clerk determines that he (or the person who employs him) values
$2.50 more than the milk. You, on the other hand, determine that you value
die milk more than the $2.50 you have been ask to pay for it. You exchange,
and voila — you are both better off as a result.

You have done a service to the convenience store, and the convenience
store has done a service for you. The store is richer in money, and you are
richer in goods. What do the two parties to the exchange owe each other
afterwards? Nothing. What does justice demand? That they keep the bar-
gain, and nothing else. The milk can’t be sour. The check can’t bounce.
Nothing else is required or asked. Now, if the store clerk is sick and needs
help, or the customer is poor and needs shelter, that’s another matter. But
what is asked in this case is completely unconnected from the results of the
economic exchange.

Expand this logic more broadly, and we can see that it applies to all peo-
ple who make money, even vast amounts. Even the richest person, provided
die riches comes from mutually beneficial exchange, does not need to give
anything “back” to the community, because diis person took nothing out of
die community. Indeed, the reverse is true: Enterprises give to the commu-
nity. Their owners take huge risks, and front the money for investment, pre-
cisely with the goal of serving others. Their riches are signs that they have
achieved their aims.

Labor of Love

The phrase “labor of love” is used as a kind of euphemism for doing
work without pay. It is an apt phrase if it means only that the person is so
wild for his work that he is willing to do it even when there is no remunera-
tion. But the phrase is also laden with the implication that if you are getting
paid, it is not a labor of love.

Surely the most successful employees are those who love their work.
That they receive salaries or wages in return for services offered only serves
as a sign and a symbol of the value that die business owner attaches to that
work. They are cooperating to their mutual satisfaction, which one might
say is a form of showing love. In drat way, all labor in a free market is a labor
of love. Both parties are giving and receiving.

Another unfortunate way to use diis phrase is to imply that if you refuse
to work without wages, you are not showing love. It is an undeniable fact
diat the use of time means the use of the most valuable resource we own. If a
worker gives up a day that he could otherwise use earning wages, he might

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

be forgoing a few hundred dollars of income. This lost income is tire cost;
it is what he pays in order to pursue a “labor of love.” So he is not merely
foregoing income: there is a sense in which he is contributing what other-
wise would have been his income to the cause he is serving instead. What if
that money was meant to buy groceries or medicine for his children? In this
case, doing a “labor of love” instead would be a cruel act.

It is even true of the wealthy businessperson. What if staying at work —
even earning money — is the best way to serve the community? What if that
person is a pharmacist or a doctor or a website worker who is helping to
provide people vital information about religion or health or some other vital
issue? Labor for wages is just as much a contribution to society as working
somewhere else for free. What if a person is responsible for the well-being of
thousands of employees? Is it not an act of love to stay on the job?

There is no point in claiming that love is involved only when donating
your time at no pay. You can pay or be paid and still show love.

Again, this is not just about terminology. It is about the assumptions
many people bring to the subject of economics as it affects ethics. People
often take it for granted that the “cash nexus” is incompatible with clean liv-
ing. We gain a clearer understanding of this issue by seeing that money and
finance are merely instrumental institutions that serve the cause of human
cooperation and human betterment.

Yes, we should volunteer in charitable causes, and give to the com-
munity, in labors of love. That may not mean serving soup in a homeless
shelter. Indeed, it might mean pulling down a large salary as an investment
banker for commercial real estate ventures. Once we understand that the
market economy is not incompatible with social justice, but is rather a form
in which authentic social justice is realized in the real world, we will be more
careful with the language we use.

Are We a Self-Hating
Commercial Society?

April 20, 2010

I ’m on a Sunday walk and a nice boy tries to sell me lemonade. A bud-
ding entrepreneur! Still, I decline. So he strengthens his pitch:

“I’m donating the profits to stop child abuse.”

Still I decline, and more easily now that he has linked his praiseworthy
commercial venture with a big social pathology that a 12-year-old boy can’t
possibly solve — unless he is saving money to run away from home?

In one short day, it was about the tenth time that I’d been assaulted
by social consciousness in the course of just going about my business. At
the grocery store, I was assured that I would save the planet by purchasing
this cereal and that bag of potato chips. If I bought this instead of that cof-
fee, I would help poor peasants in some far-flung place achieve social jus-
tice. Some pennies from a sports drink were supposedly donated to cure
muscular dystrophy. My coffee cup is so socially aware that it saves trees
and thereby stabilizes the global temperature. If I use the following search
engine, I help fund charities that are making the world a better place.

I have two reactions to all this static interference on what would other-
wise be die clean lines of commercial society:

This proves that the traditional rap on capitalism is false. It is not only
about private gain for the few. Business can be as enlightened as the indi-
viduals running them. Note that all this praiseworthy other-directedness
is being accomplished within the matrix of exchange, which has wrongly
been maligned as selfish. As we can see, there is no contradiction between
doing good and doing well. All these innovations that merge the third sector

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

of charity with the first sector of profiteering illustrate that capitalism can
adapt itself to an age of broad-minded social concern.

Can we all please cut the sham and go back to plain old buying and
selling?

Reaction No. 2 is dominating my droughts here.

Very few of the claims of these enterprises really stand up to any seri-
ous scrutiny. Take the coffee-cup case as an example. If buying this cup
saves trees, an even better way to save trees is not to buy coffee at all. And
it’s not clear that lowering the demand for paper is going to actually save
trees at all, since a lower demand would eventually mean less reason to plant
and renew die resource. And do we really need to save trees anyway? Does
someone know the optimal number of trees that are supposed to be alive on
die planet at any one time?

The case of socially just coffee is the one that really gets my goat. The
coffee plantations that pay the highest wages and offer the most bene-
fits to their workers are the largest, most established, and most well-con-
nected plantations. The smaller, family-owned plantations can’t afford all
these things, but they are less likely to have access to the rating agencies
and export companies. Why, precisely, are consumers supposed to favor the
corporate big shots over the family farms, and do so in the name of enlight-
ened social consciousness? The whole campaign for fair-trade coffee is one
of the most bizarre and contradictory schemes that the dumb-dumb Left
has ever dreamed up.

On the one hand, it is part of the genius of capitalism that it gives rise to
a class of entrepreneurs that can use any fashionable culture shift to make a
buck. Whedier a cereal is called “Sugar Smacks” or “Eardren Honey Mor-
sels” is neither here nor there to me, and if some marketing genius figures
drat the cereal company can make more money with one name over another,
good for him and the company. Capitalism is so darn good at what it does
drat it can even bamboozle muddleheaded socialists to cough up money for
its products; that’s wonderful.

And yet, I’m pretty fed up with the duplicity of the whole scheme. Con-
sider that kid who tried to sell me lemonade. It is an admirable thing to set
up a lemonade stand. He used his energy and time. He has to keep the ice
cold and provide cups and persuade people to buy. He has to choose a
good corner of the subdivision to do this. He might have had to buy his own
ingredients. Will he make a profit? Nothing is for sure in this world. Most
likely he will not and he will have to be subsidized by mom and dad. But
what if he does make a profit? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? There would be

Are We a Self-Hating Commercial Society?

nothing at all wrong with the world in which this kid, who gave up his Sun-
day to sell refreshment, could put $5 in a piggy bank as a result.

But no, we can’t have that! Instead, he has learned from the social ethos
that he must never, ever admit to making private gain. He has to manufac-
ture some phony tale about how he will donate all proceeds to achieving
some grand social vision of a world without child abuse. Isn’t it enough that
he gives a dozen people some Sunday refreshment and takes away a few
bucks?

Let’s review the oldest contribution of liberal thought: The market soci-
ety uses private gain to achieve social good, via the mechanism of mutually
beneficial exchange. I buy a jug of milk and the shopkeeper takes my money.
We both say “thank you” to each other because we have both given each
other a gift and we are both better off. The profits in the form of money, if
there are any after expenses, are used to expand production so that there
are ever more opportunities for trade. Multiply these little exchanges and
investments by the world’s population and you have an ever-more beautiful
and fruitful garden of peace and prosperity.

In this scheme, what is the role of giving to charitable causes? This is
provided for by the growth of capital and wealth. When there is enough left
over after providing for basic survival needs, people turn their attention to
widows, orphans, the sick, the symphonies, art galleries, saving salaman-
ders, promoting religion, establishing quilt-weaving societies, and billions
of other causes — all of which are evidence of rising prosperity.

The direction of causation here is important. First: markets. Second:
investment and exchange. Third: prosperity. Fourth: a zillion social causes
that fall into the category of charity, social justice, and the like. Why is it that
we are so fearful of telling the truth about this step-by-step plan for build-
ing civilization? Why are we so anxious to blur the distinctions between the
stages?

What’s more, if I want to give to charity, I’m perfectly capable of doing
this on my own and according to my own values. I do not need business
enterprises to intervene to help me along and show me the path to true
enlightenment. When someone comes along to dictate to me what my val-
ues should be, I tend to push back. I just want products and services; I’ll
take care of the rest on my own dime. What is so complicated about this?

During the Haitian crisis earlier this year, I could hardly move from
place to place without someone’s demanding that I cough up for Haiti. It
didn’t matter if I had given $1,000 at the last stop, the not-so-subtle push at
tire next stop was for me to demonstrate that I care yet again. At some point

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

during this mania, the number of people collecting for Haiti seemed to out-
number the number of people giving to Haiti by two to one. It’s like there
is some special social status to the class of charity collector, and we are all
required to honor that.

How to account for all this giving mania? Maybe it is all just a racket.
Call it the “cause racket.” There are more bucks to be made by spreading
guilt and pity than by offering goods and services. Therefore, everyone gets
in on the act.

That’s one theory, but it only goes so far. My own theory is that the anti-
capitalistic mentality has taken a serious toll. It hasn’t yet destroyed com-
mercial society, but it has caused commercial society to no longer be proud
of the magic and glory embedded within its structures and logic. Why is
this? Because we no longer understand how it is that markets convert pri-
vate interest to public good. The simplest lesson of economics, proven
again and again and again for 500 years, is lost on people today.

By the way, when that kid told me that he was raising money to stop
child abuse, I replied as follows: “I hope you keep some for yourself. You
have to make a living somehow.”

His mouth fell open in shock. I hope he remembers what I told him,
and I hope his parents don’t hunt me down to accuse me of child abuse.

The Glories of Change

September 15, 2008

T he events on Wall Street, the collapse of Lehman Brothers and the
selling off of Merrill Lynch are magnificent and inspiring events.
What we see here are examples of sweeping and fundamental
change taking place, a huge upheaval that affects the whole of society, and
toward the better, since what we have going on here is a massive reallocation
of resources away from failing uses toward more productive uses.

Hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars are on the move, sweep-
ing all before them. And yet take note: it is not war accomplishing this. It is
not violence. It is not the result of a planning committee. No election is nec-
essary. No terrorist act took place. There was no government edict.

The agent of change here is the composite of all the world’s exchanges
that relentlessly shove resources this way and that way, so that they will find
their most economically valued uses in society.

No one person is in charge. Layers upon layers of decisions by millions
and billions of people are the essential mechanism that makes the process
move forward. All these decisions and choices and guesses come to be aggre-
gated in a single number called the price, and that price can then be used
in that simple calculation that indicates success or failure. Every instant of
time all around the world that calculation is made, and it results in shifts and
movement and progress.

But as wonderful as the daily shifts and movements are, what really
inspires are the massive acts of creative destruction such as when old-line
firms like Lehman and Merrill melt before our eyes, their good assets trans-
ferred to more competent hands and their bad liabilities banished from the
face of die earth.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

This is the kind of shock and awe we should all celebrate. It is contrary
to the wish of all the principal players and it accords with the will of society
as a whole and the dictate of tire market that waste not last and last. No mat-
ter how large, how entrenched, how exalted the institution, it is always vul-
nerable to being blown away by market forces — no more or less so than the
lemonade stand down the street.

Dramatic shifts are essential for progress. But adapting to changing
conditions and becoming an agent of that change, staying with the curve
and jumping out in front of it — this is the real challenge. Enacting change —
any kind of change, but especially big and fundamental change — sometimes
seems impossible in this world. We all desire it and know it is necessary.
Seeking the reality of rebirth has an appeal. But finding the mechanism to
make it happen is hugely difficult.

Try to change an institution from the inside and you will meet resistance
around every corner. Bureaucracies are nearly impossible to change. Even
firms in private enterprise are reluctant to adapt, and have to be pushed and
nudged by the accounting ledger or no movement happens. Churches and
other charitable organizations can whither and die without periodic and
fundamental change and upheaval. Many institutions grow up around the
principle of stability first. The organizational structure tends in the direc-
tion of the protective mode, with everyone burrowing in and resisting doing
something different today and tomorrow from what he or she did yesterday
and the day before. Inertia is the default.

How to break away from this problem is a great challenge. The the-
ory of democracy was that we would have a voting mechanism to enact
and force change, but the problem is that votes and personnel shifts bring
a change in the look and feel of government but do not get below the sur-
face. Wars and revolutions yield change but at too great a cost. The change
wrought by markets goes to the very core of tire issue. It makes and breaks
whole institutions, sometimes overnight. And it does so in a beneficial way
for the whole, without blood and without the risk of unanticipated calamity.

All die plans of big shots, all the desires of our governing masters, all the
wishes and dreams of people who imagine themselves to be larger and more
important than the rest of us, melt like snow on a sunny day.

In this sense, the market is the great leveler, the force in the universe that
humbles all people and reminds them that they are no more important than
anyone else and that their wishes must ultimately be shelved when faced
with the overwhelming desire on the part of market traders that some other
reality emerge.

The Glories of Change

For this reason, everyone should celebrate the end of Lehman and Mer-
rill. Overnight, while we slept, the seemingly mighty were humbled, the first
made last and the last made first. The greatest became the least, all without
a shot being bred.

Cooperation:

How a Free Market Benefits
Everyone

June 27,2008

T he following attempts to explain the most important idea in the his-
tory of social analysis. The notion (actually, it’s a description of real-
ity that is all around us but rarely noticed) has been around for cen-
turies. It was first observed by ancients. It was first described with rigor by
late-medieval monks working in Spain. It was given scientific precision in the
classical period. It is the basis of advances in social theory in the 20th century.

In fact, it is an essential part of the case for freedom. It was the basis of
tire belief of our ancestors that they could throw off tyrannical rule and still
not have society descend into poverty and chaos. The failure to compre-
hend this idea is at the very root of the pervasive bias against liberty and free
enterprise in our times, on the Left and the Right.

I speak of the division of labor, also known as the law of comparative
advantage or the law of comparative cost, and also known as the law of asso-
ciation. Call it what you will, it is probably the single greatest contribution
that economics has made to human understanding.

This law — a law like gravity, not a law like the speed limit — is a descrip-
tion of why people cooperate and the ubiquity of the conditions that lead
to this cooperation. If you can take a few minutes to learn it, you will under-
stand how it is that society functions and grows wealthy even without a vis-
ible hand directing its path. You will also see how the criticism that the mar-
ket economy leads to the strong dominating the weak is actually a sham.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

This law shows how it is that people can gain, materially and in every
other way, by working together rather than working in isolation. They don’t
just gain the sense of satisfaction that comes with participation in solidar-
ity with one’s fellow man; they can actually gain in the real stuff of life, the
goods and services that are available to us all.

What’s more, they gain more dian the sum of their parts. Through coop-
eration and exchange, we can produce more than if we work in isolation. This
applies in the simplest economic settings as well as the most complex ones.

It helps to lay this out more rigorously so that you can observe the
magic of the marketplace at work. (I owe the following exposition to Lud-
wig von Mises in Human Action, Murray Rothbard in “Freedom, Inequal-
ity, Primitivism and the Division of Labor” and, especially, Manuel Ayau’s
Not a Zero-Sum Game, which is available through Mises.org.)

Let’s say you and I can both make bagels and pies. But there’s a prob-
lem: you make both with incredible efficiency. In fact, you do a better job at
making bagels and pies than anyone who has ever lived. You are the world-
class, all-time champion.

Meanwhile, I’m not so hot at either. My bagels taste as good as yours,
but they seem to take me an age to make. My pies are the same way. I strug-
gle and struggle, but try as I might, I just can’t seem to crank them out the
way that you can.

What is likely to happen under these conditions? The intuitive answer,
which you will hear in just about every sociology class in the country, is that
you will make all bagels and pies. No one else will. You will lord it over the
rest of us, and have massive market power. If anyone wants either, he or she
must come to you and you alone. You are privileged, favored, rich, power-
ful, and tire rest of us can only sit in awe and beg from you.

But in fact, that’s not what happens at all. Let’s back up a bit and see
why.

Let’s say you and I have never met, and we are both making bagels and
pies. Here is what happens in a 24-hour period: You make 12 bagels in 12
hours, and 6 pies in the remaining 12 hours. I, on the other hand, only man-
age to make 6 bagels in the first 12 hours, and a mere 2 pies in the remaining
12 hours.

Production in Isolation:

You

Hours

Production

12 bagels

6 pies

6 bagels

2 pies

Cooperation: How a Free Market Benefits Everyone

If we both work at this pace, the total production is 18 bagels and 8
pies.

In each case, tire cost of what you decide to do is the thing you give up.
So for you the cost of each pie is 2 bagels, and, likewise, the cost of each
bagel is 1 /2 of a pie. For me, the opportunity cost of making a pie is 3 bagels,
and the cost of making a bagel is 1 /3 of a pie.

Just looking at this, you might observe that you have your act together,
whereas I’m pretty shabby. What chance in life do I have?

Well, my hope is bound up with the reality that your time and resources
are scarce and you want ever more of each. So you begin to think about
exchange. Even though I’m not very good at either pies or bagels, you can
still see that you can make more of one thing or the other by encouraging
our cooperation, thereby freeing up your time to do what you do best.

If you specialize in making pies, you still need some bagels. So you
plan to exchange pies for bagels from me. With this thought in mind, you
increase pie production and reduce bagel production. I, on the other hand,
stop pie production completely and devote myself to bagel production in
hopes of fobbing them off on you.

Production with Cooperation:

You

Hours

Production

8 bagels

8 pies

12 bagels

0 pies

So you now spend a mere 8 hours on bagel making, in which time you
produce 8 bagels; in the remaining 16 hours of your day, you are able to
bake 8 pies. Meanwhile, I can now devote all of my time to bagel-making,
and I turn out 12 bagels in 24 hours.

Let’s total up the production. Before cooperation: 18 bagels and 8 pies.
After cooperation: 20 bagels and 8 pies.

So what is the gain here? Precisely two bagels. Can you believe it?
Nothing else changed; there was no increase in our productive potential,
no increase in technology, no change in consumer demand or the weather
or the linearity of history itself. All that happened is that we agreed to pro-
duce in cooperative exchange rather than isolation, and voila — two addi-
tional bagels.

You think there’s a trick? Go back and check the numbers and the
assumptions. I’m just as shabby as ever, and you are just as fabulous. And
yet there’s a role for both of us.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Let’s say we now exchange the goods we make. You might give me 2
of the pies you made in exchange for 5 bagels that I made. That leaves you
with 13 bagels and 6 pies, while I now have 7 bagels and 2 pies.

After Our Exchange:

You

Results

13 bagels

6 pies

7 bagels

2 pies

This would be reasonable, since those bagels you buy from me would
have cost you 5 hours of production time. True, it took me 10 hours to
make them, but what do I get if I exchange? I get 2 pies, which would have
taken me 12 hours to make. So there is a sense in which I, by specializing,
have saved 2 hours. And how many hours have you saved by encouraging
me to make bagels? Five hours, during which time you made pies.

And what is the cost of exchange in material goods for each of us? You
have given up 2 pies. I have given up 5 bagels. If our time is measured in
terms of goods, you have given up the time equivalent of 4 bagels for 5
bagels, and thereby gained 1. 1 have given up 5 bagels but gained the time
equivalent of 6 bagels, since my pie-to-bagel ratio is 3 to 1 .

So who gained the most? In terms of bagels, we gain the same: one. In
terms of time, I have gained more. In terms of pies, you have saved more.
Who is the winner? Both of us. Again, what made us gain? Cooperation
and exchange. Nothing more.

Now, you might say that this is absurd. No one sits around drawing
exchange matrixes to see how we might benefit by dividing up the produc-
tion. But in fact, we do this all the time. I might be a wonderful musician
and web programmer. But my advantage is web programming, so I leave the
music production to other people, even if they do it less effectively.

It’s true in the business world: the boss might do an amazing job at
accounting, clean-up, marketing, and customer support. He or she might
do these things more efficiently than anyone else, but the cost of doing one
tiring is another thing given up. It makes sense to depend on others so that
we can all specialize.

Consider the great 19th-century pianist Franz Liszt. He was the best
and mostly highly paid musician in Europe. Let’s say he was also a great
piano tuner. Would it make sense for him to give up practice time for a con-
cert that would pay him $20,000 in order to tune his own piano? Not at all.
He would rather pay someone $200 to do that. The opportunity cost of
piano tuning for Liszt was very high, but for the tuner, it was very low. They
exchange, and both benefit.

Cooperation: How a Free Market Benefits Everyone

It is the same with doctors and nurses. The doctor might be great
at prepping patients, but in doing so the doctor is giving up performing
another surgery that would earn him many thousands of dollars.

Note that this makes sense even if one person has an absolute advan-
tage in every area. What matters for the real world is not absolute advantage
but comparative advantage. That is where the law of association comes into
being. It is true for two people, two hundred people, two thousand people,
or all people all over the world. Herein we have the case for international
trade, for it changes nothing about people’s mutual advantage that they
reside in different lands.

This is why it makes sense for both poor and rich countries to trade, as
noted by Bartolome de Albornoz as early as the 16th century:

If it were not for these contracts, some would lack the
goods that others have in abundance, and they would not
be able to share the goods that they have in excess with
those countries where they are scarce.

Note that these gains come not from design but merely from the free-
dom to associate, which Pope Leo XIII called a human right in his encycli-
cal Rerum Novarum-.

If [die state] forbids its citizens to form associations, it con-
tradicts the very principle of its own existence; for both
diey and it exist in virtue of the same principle, namely, the
natural propensity of man to live in society.

Both the moral and practical advantages were reiterated by Pope John
Paul II in Centesimus Annus:

It is becoming clearer how a person’s work is naturally
interrelated with the work of others. More than ever,
work is work with others and work for others : it is a mat-
ter of doing something for someone else. Work becomes
ever more fruitful and productive to the extent that peo-
ple become more knowledgeable of the productive poten-
tialities of the earth and more profoundly cognizant of the
needs of those for whom their work is done.

The law was formalized by David Ricardo in England, and further
emphasized by economists ever since. The significance is impossible to
exaggerate: It means that it is not necessary that all people of the world have
the same talents in order to benefit from cooperation. In fact, it is the very

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

diversity of the human population that makes it advantageous for them to
work together and trade to their mutual benefit.

What this means is that isolation and self-sufficiency lead to poverty.
Cooperation and the division of labor are the path to wealth. Understand
that, and you can refute libraries full of nonsense from both the Left and
the Right.

How to Handle Getting Fired

July 30, 2007

W ired Magazine this month offers a few pointers on how to dis-
guise on your resume the fact that you have been fired. The main
point is to come up with a negotiated settlement that has you
resigning from your job. Many employers will go along with these because
they fear litigation. There will be no “wrongful termination” lawsuits if you
are on record as having left voluntarily.

I don’t dispute this advice. It seems fine enough. But it doesn’t deal
with the much more important matter of how to handle being bred from a
psychological and sociological point of view. The truth is that getting bred
is one of the best things that can ever happen to you, if you look at it the
right way. There is no reason to consider it the end of the world. It can be
the beginning of great tilings.

The key to understanding this is to zoom in on the nature of a labor
contract. It is an agreement based on the expectation of mutual cooperation
that betters the lot of both the employer and the employee. In a world with-
out scarcity, the employer would rather do all work alone and not have to
hire anyone. This would save in resources, and, in any case, most employ-
ers hgure that they can do a better job than anyone that they can hire, and,
often, they are right.

The very existence of institutions that are larger than sole propri-
etorships grows out of the need to divide the labor. Even if the employer
is the best sweeper, web developer, accountant, and marketing expert in
the world, it is to his advantage to specialize in one area while farming out
the other tasks, even if these tasks will not be done as well by others. Every
employer, then, regards the hiring decision with a combination of dread

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

(no one wants to waste money!) and relief (finally I can get something done
around here!).

It is critically important for the employee to understand that he is
doing no favors to the employer by working there, nor is the employer to
be regarded as a generous distributor of funds, much less someone who is
under some positive moral obligation to dish out. The employee is there
because the nature of the world and the ubiquity of the scarcity of time
and resources make it necessary. In order for there to be peace amidst this
arrangement, there must be mutual benefit, always.

When that mutual benefit ceases to exist, it is in the interest of both par-
ties to dissolve the relationship. The employee can leave for greener pas-
tures. In the same way, the boss can stop paying the employee in exchange
for services that he no longer believes are a benefit to the company. To be
fired only means that the employer takes the initiative in ceasing to fund
further engagement. Both or either side of this exchange could be wrong, of
course, but all human decision-making is speculative, and we can only act
on the information we have.

Why would anyone want to hang around at a dinner party at which he
is not wanted? It’s the same way with a labor contract. If you aren’t wanted,
you should walk away and consider yourself better off as a result. No law-
suits, no complaints, no bitterness, no acts of vengeance. Just a clean and
happy break.

Doesn’t the reason you are fired matter? Not really. The employer
doesn’t always know the reason. He just knows it is not working out from
his point of view, and he is perfectly within his rights to terminate the prior
agreement.

Let me tell a quick story from my own work history. When I was in
clothing sales, I was one of the top-ranked salesmen on the floor, but I didn’t
always see eye to eye with the owner-boss. One Christmas season, he told
all the salespeople that all alterations had to be promised out three weeks
from the date they were sold. That struck me as outrageous.

Sure enough, within the next hour, I had a customer come in and buy
seven pricey suits, on the condition that all alterations were to be done
within the week. Now, I should have gone to the boss and asked him. He
would have said no, I’m quite sure. So I didn’t: I went ahead and promised
tire suits out. At closing time, the boss found the tickets and threw all seven
suits at me and demanded to know “who is going to alter these?”

How to Handle Getting Fired

I said, “I will,” and I promptly hit the sewing machines and began to
sew. I had them all finished by 9 p.m. that evening. I brought them in to
him and said that I would deliver them to the customer personally in the
morning. My boss said, that’s great, and added: “after that, I won’t need
your services anymore.”

Was he wrong or right? He was wrong that firing me was good for his
business. But he was right that he could not countenance an insubordi-
nate employee, and just as a tip to the worker: there is no surer way to make
yourself unwelcome than to be insubordinate. Even from a business point
of view, he needed a staff that would follow his orders, right or wrong. Hey,
it’s not my style but it was his clothing store, for goodness sake. (I ended up
as a manager in another store and we outcompeted his store in every season
that followed.)

Being fired does not mean that your time with the company was a
waste. In the time you were there, both you and your boss benefited in some
way. Because conditions change doesn’t negate that reality. The boss gained
a worker. And you gained valuable experience — and one of the most valu-
able experiences is the shock of being fired. Sometimes it is the best way to
get a person’s attention. We all need improvement, and experiencing out-
right rejection provides a poignant reminder of this fact, and an impetus to
change.

You might feel anger and even hatred. You might want to curse out your
boss. You might plan a lawsuit (which seems to be everyone’s first reac-
tion). Instead, you need to do something completely counterintuitive. You
need to thank your boss for having had confidence in you and for giving
you the opportunity to work there. You need to say this as sincerely as you
can. And when you see your boss at the grocery store or sports event in the
future, you should bound up to him as if he were an old friend and thank
him again.

If you do this, there might come a time in the future — in fact, there cer-
tainly will — when this person will be in a position to recommend you for a
job. He is far more likely to do so. In fact, he might be so impressed at your
magnanimity that he will offer you your job back. You can politely turn him
down, if you so wish. The point is that there is nothing productive about
resentment or hate, any more than you should hate the convenience store
from which you no longer buy milk. You once benefited from exchange and
you no longer perceive the advantage in doing so. Big deal.

If it makes it any easier, let us remember that you were most likely paid
more than you contributed to the firm. Wages work this way. I can recall that

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

I worked with some jerk who refused to straighten inventory in the back
room. “For minimum wage, I won’t do this.” But the truth is that he was
paid far more than he gave back. An employer often pays wages in advance
of productivity, hoping that he is making some kind of investment in the
future. It is only later that you become productive enough to make it worth
it for him, at which point he has to raise your wage in the anticipation of
future productivity. So there is a sense in which everyone is indebted to the
employer.

The worst fate to befall the American labor market came after World
War II when employees began to think of all jobs as lifetime jobs — the way
they are in economically backward and decaying Europe today. In a free
market, we would hop from job to job without any problem. Employers
would freely hire and fire, trying people out the way we try on shoes, and
employees would be the same way. In this way, we are most likely to find the
right fit, and our places of work would become less contentious — places of
happiness and peace.

Nothing is more absurd than the attempt to restrict the right to fire. Vol-
untarism goes both ways. The employee can leave, and the employer can
fire. Any other system, such as one that would restrict either action, is an act
of coercion that diminishes the well-being of both sides.

Thinking of our kids here and their job experiences, we should hope
tlrat they get fired from at least one job or several in their early work years.
Being fired reminds us of our obligations, the contractual nature of work,
and the need for agreement and voluntarism in all social relations. The act
of getting fired underscores the existence of the freedom of association,
which is the key to social peace and a foundation of a growing economy. Do
your part and take it well.

The Trouble With Child-Labor Laws

February 11,2008

L et’s say you want your computer fixed or your software explained.
You can shell out big bucks to the Geek Squad, or you can ask — but
you can’t hire — a typical teenager, or even a preteen. Their experi-
ence with computers and the online world is vastly superior to that of most
people over the age of 30. From the point of view of online technology, it is
the young who rule. And yet they are professionally powerless: they are for-
bidden by law Horn earning wages from their expertise.

Might these folks have something to offer the workplace? And might
the young benefit from a bit of early work experience, too? Perhaps — but
we’ll never know, thanks to antiquated federal, state, and local laws that
make it a crime to hire a kid.

Pop culture accepts these laws as a normal part of national life, a means
to forestall a Dickensian nightmare of sweat shops and the capitalist exploi-
tation of children. It’s time we rid ourselves of images of children tied to rug
looms in the developing world. The kids I’m talking about are one of the
most courted of all consumer sectors. Society wants them to consume, but
law forbids them to produce.

You might be surprised to know that tire laws against “child labor” do
not date from the 18th century. Indeed, the national law against child labor
didn’t pass until the Great Depression — in 1938, with the Fair Labor Stan-
dards Act. It was the same law that gave us a minimum wage and defined
what constitutes full-time and part-time work. It was a handy way to raise
wages and lower the unemployment rate: simply define whole sectors of the
potential workforce as unemployable.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

By the time this legislation passed, however, it was mostly a symbol,
a classic case of Washington chasing a trend in order to take credit for it.
Youth labor was expected in the 17th and 18th centuries — even welcome,
since remunerative work opportunities were newly present. But as prosper-
ity grew with the advance of commerce, more kids left the workforce. By
1930, only 6.4 percent of kids between the ages of 10 and 15 were actually
employed, and three out of four of those were in agriculture.

In wealthier, urban, industrialized areas, child labor was largely gone, as
more and more kids were being schooled. Cultural factors were important
here, but the most important consideration was economic. More developed
economies permit parents to “purchase” their children’s education out of
tire family’s surplus income — if only by foregoing what would otherwise be
their earnings.

The law itself, then, forestalled no nightmare, nor did it impose one. In
those days, there was rising confidence that education was the key to saving
the youth of America. Stay in school, get a degree or two, and you would
be fixed up for life. Of course, that was before academic standards slipped
further and further, and schools themselves began to function as a national
child-sitting service. Today, we are far more likely to recognize tire contribu-
tion that disciplined work makes to the formation of character.

And yet we are stuck with these laws, which are incredibly complicated
once you factor in all state and local variations. Kids under the age of 16
are forbidden to earn income in remunerative employment outside a family
business. If dad is a blacksmith, you can learn to pound iron with the best of
’em. But if dad works for a law firm, you are out of luck.

From the outset, federal law made exceptions for kid movie stars and
performers. Why? It probably has something to do with how Shirley Tem-
ple led box-office receipts from 1934-1938. She was one of the highest-
earning stars of the period.

If you are 14 or 15, you can ask your public school for a waiver and
work a limited number of hours when school is not in session. And if you
are in private school or home school, you must go ask your local Social Ser-
vice Agency — not exactly the most welcoming bunch. The public school
itself is also permitted to run work programs.

This point about approved labor is an interesting one, if you think about
it. The government doesn’t seem to mind so much if a kid spends all non-
school hours away from the home, family, and church, but it forbids them
from engaging in private-sector work during tire time when they would oth-
erwise be in public schools drinking from the well of civic culture.

The Trouble With Child-Labor Laws

A legal exemption is also made for delivering newspapers, as if bicycles
rather than cars were still the norm for this activity.

Here is another strange exemption: “youth working at home in the
making of wreaths composed of natural holly, pine, cedar, or other ever-
greens (including the harvesting of the evergreens).” Perhaps the wreath
lobby was more powerful during the Great Depression than in our own
time?

Oh, and there is one final exemption, as incredible as this may be: fed-
eral law allows states to allow kids to work for a state or local government at
any age, and there are no hourly restrictions. Virginia, for example, allows
this.

The exceptions cut against the dominant theory of the laws that it is
somehow evil to “commodify” the labor of kids. If it is wonderful to be a
child movie star, congressional page, or home-based wreath maker, why is
it wrong to be a teenage software fixer, a grocery bagger, or ice-cream scoo-
per? It makes no sense.

Once you get past the exceptions, the bottom line is clear: full-time
work in the private sector, for hours of their own choosing, is permitted
only to those “children” who are 18 and older — by which time a child has
already passed the age when he can be influenced toward a solid work ethic.

What is lost in the bargain? Kids no longer have the choice to work for
money. Parents who believe that their children would benefit from the expe-
rience are at a loss. Consumers who would today benefit from our teens’
technological know-how have no commercial way to do so. Kids have been
forcibly excluded from the matrix of exchange.

There is a social-cultural point, too. Employers will tell you that most
kids coming out of college are radically unprepared for a regular job. It’s
not so much that they lack skills or that they can’t be trained; it’s that they
don’t understand what it means to serve others in a workplace setting. They
resent being told what to do, tend not to follow through, and work by the
clock instead of the task. In other words, they are not socialized into how
tire labor market works. Indeed, if we perceive a culture of sloth, irresponsi-
bility, and entitlement among today’s young, perhaps we ought to look here
for a contributing factor.

The law is rarely questioned today. But it is a fact that child-labor laws
didn’t come about easily. It took more than a hundred years of wrangling.
The first advocates of keeping kids out of factories were women’s labor
unions, who didn’t appreciate the low-wage competition. And true to form,

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

labor unions have been reliable exclusionists ever since. Opposition did
not consist of mining companies looking for cheap labor, but rather parents
and clergy alarmed that a law against child labor would be a blow against
freedom. They predicted that it would amount to the nationalization of
children, which is to say that tire government rather than the parents or the
child would emerge as the final authority and locus of decision-making.

To give you a flavor of the opposition, consider this funny “Beatitude”
read by Congressman Fritz G. Lanham ofTexas on the U.S. House floor in
1924, as a point of opposition to a child-labor ban then being considered:

Consider the Federal agent in the field; he toils not, nor
does he spin; and yet I say unto you that even Solomon in
all his populous household was not arrayed with powers
like one of these.

Children, obey your agents from Washington, for this is
right.

Honor thy father and thy mother, for the Government has
created them but a little lower than the Federal agent. Love,
honor, and disobey them.

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, tell it to thy father and
mother and let them do it.

Six days shalt thou do all thy rest, and on the seventh day
thy parents shall rest with thee.

Go to the bureau officer, thou sluggard; consider his ways
and he idle.

Toil, thou farmer’s wife; thou shalt have no servant in thy
house, nor let thy children help thee.

And all thy children shall be taught of the Federal agent,
and great shall be the peace of thy children.

Thy children shall rise up and call the Federal agent
blessed.

In every way, the opponents were right. Child-labor laws were and are a
blow against the freedom to work and a boost in government authority over
tire family. The political class thinks nothing of legislating on behalf of “the
children,” as if they are the first owners of all kids. Child-labor laws were the
first big step in this direction, and the rest follows. If the state can dictate to
parents and kids the terms under which teens can be paid, there is essen-
tially nothing they cannot control. There is no sense in arguing about the

The Trouble With Child-Labor Laws

details of the law. The critical question concerns the locus of decision-mak-
ing: family or state? Private markets or the public sector?

In so many ways, child-labor laws are an anachronism. There is no
sense speaking of exploitation, as if this were the early years of the industrial
revolution. Kids as young as 10 can surely contribute their labor in some
tasks in ways that would help them come to grips with the relationship
between work and reward. They will better learn to respect private forms of
social authority outside the home. They will come to understand that some
things are expected of them in life. And after they finish college and enter
tire workforce, it won’t come as such a shock the first time they are asked to
do something that may not be their first choice.

We know the glorious lessons that are imparted fr om productive work.
What lesson do we impart with child-labor laws? We establish early on who
is in charge: not individuals, not parents, but the state. We tell the youth
that they are better off being mall rats than fruitful workers. We tell them
that they have nothing to offer society until they are 18 or so. We convey
tire impression that work is a form of exploitation from which they must be
protected. We drive a huge social wedge between parents and children and
lead kids to believe that they have nothing to learn from their parents’ expe-
rience. We rob them of what might otherwise be the most valuable early
experiences of their young adulthood.

In the end, the most compelling case for getting rid of child-labor laws
comes down to one central issue: the freedom to make a choice. Those who
tlrink young teens should do nodiing but languish in classrooms in the day
and play Wii at night will be no worse off. But those who see that remu-
nerative work is great experience for everyone will cheer to see diis antique
regulation toppled. Maybe then the kids of America can put their computer
skills to use doing more than playing World ofWarcraft.

Generation Sloth

September 7, 2009

I t’s Labor Day, but there’s nothing to celebrate.

On July 24 this year, the government raised the minimum wage to $7.25,
which is another way of saying that unemployment is mandatory for
anyone who is otherwise willing to work for less. You have no freedom to
negotiate or lower the price for your service. You are either already valuable
at this rate or you are out of the game.

Here is how it works. I’ve never been good at shaping pizza dough by
hand, throwing it up in the air the way those guys do, so it would certainly
cost more for any pizza joint to hire me at that high rate than I could bring
them in revenue. I would be a sure money loser. As a result, the government
has made it effectively illegal for me to attempt this kind of work.

This is done to help me, so they say.

This predicament is no longer isolated to a small sliver of the popula-
tion that no one cares about, namely people who dabble in second careers
(such as the pizza example) and the poorest of the poor. Now the problem
is culture-wide, so perhaps someone will start to get interested in its causes
and consequences.

August data show that more than a quarter of teenagers looking for work
cannot find employment at the existing wage floor. Many have just stopped
trying. The teen unemployment rate is nearly three times the national rate and
it is four times the rate of skilled and experienced workers over the age of 55.

This is the highest rate ever recorded in the United States. The data
have only been kept since 1948, but we can be quite sure that never in U.S.
history have so many teens been so alienated from gainful employment and
work experience.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

These are the years in which young people learn valuable skills and eth-
ics that they will carry with them mitil they die. At work, they meet a great
variety of people and have to learn to deal cooperatively with different tem-
peraments and personalities. They learn how to do things they do not really
want to do and they also discover the relationship between work and reward.
They gain their first experience with independent use of money — acquiring
and spending — and how to calibrate the relationship between the two.

These are skills people draw on forever. They are far more important
to their future than is the main activity taking up their time: sitting at school
desks.

This portends terrible things for the future of the American workforce.
People dumped on the labor market after college will be even more worth-
less than they are already.

And when 1 read that the “stimulus package” includes funding for
job training for teens as a way of addressing this problem, I couldn’t stop
laughing: government-funded job training has a long record of being a full-
employment program for tax-funded job trainers but otherwise amounting
to a big nothing.

Interestingly, there is a corresponding trend affecting those who are get-
ting their first jobs out of college. It turns out that half of college graduates
under the age of 25 are working in jobs that require no college education at
all. Think of Starbucks, the Gap, Target, and the like. Not that there is any-
thing wrong with tliesejobs. But here’s the thing: these positions used to be
held by young people before they finished college (which is in turn devot-
ing itself to remedial education on the basics).

Do you see what is happening here? The minimum wage, subsidized col-
lege loans, child work laws, and other interventions are conspiring to prolong
adolescence as long as possible — to the point that these young adults are see-
ing as much as a frill decade of life experience pretty well stolen from them.

And there are no signs that this will change once the recession ends;
after the last recession, youth unemployment never recovered its losses.

Why are we not seeing the Million Teen March on Washington? Not
everyone understands what is happening or why. I doubt that 1 in 1 00 teens
would consider that the minimum wage is what is keeping them unem-
ployed. And the college grads themselves are pretty well befuddled as to
why the great promise of future riches if they “stay in school” is not panning
out. Rather than be angry at government, most of these kids are merely cyn-
ical and dependent on periodic parental bailouts.

Generation Sloth

College students themselves lack work experience so they don’t have
a realistic understanding of what the work world requires of them. They
major in “management” and imagine that, with this fabulous degree, they
will possess the right to earn big bucks by bossing people around. A degree
in “communications” will get them on Fox News. An “urban planning”
degree will provide the opportunity — nay, the right — to build cities and
highway systems.

Then the day of graduation comes and reality hits hard. There is no
one who wants what they know, and, in fact, they know very little that makes
them useful. Their resumes are barren, without a single professional refer-
ence or anything that is connected to tire real world. All they really know is
how to vegetate in class and socialize with peers on nights and weekends.

For example, Fve been personally shocked at the lack of basic software
skills that college grads have. There is hardly any professional position any-
where that doesn’t require some facility with software and technology. Is
this not common knowledge? I guess not: people are continuing to graduate
today with no more technical skills than it takes to manage a Facebook page.

As for work ethics and the ability to add value to an enterprise (versus
merely serving their own interests), forget it: generation sloth knows noth-
ing about this.

It’s probably not their fault.

Aside from the economic costs, the biggest cost is to the human charac-
ter. It encourages the worst possible value system during the critical years in
which character is shaped. Our country is caging people up for a quarter of
their lives in government holding tanks and then dumping them on a cold,
cruel world for which they are not prepared.

It’s true that this trend began hack in the 1930s, when FDR decided
that he could help the unemployment problem by making it illegal for
young teens to work (unless, of course, they are child actors like Shirley
Temple). That’s like losing weight by rigging the scale to lie to you. Ever
since, federal law has tightened and tightened to the point that nearly the
entire teenage population is being barred from the division of labor and oth-
erwise told nothing about what it requires to be part of it down the line.

I end on an optimistic note, and not merely because it is customary.
The digital age is providing ever more opportunities for people to make
their own way in this world, outside the old definition of formalized work.
The government closes doors. The market, incredibly and fortuitously,
keeps opening them.

How Free Is the "Free Market"?

January 21,2008

S ee if you can spot anything wrong with the following claim, a version
of which seems to appear in a book, magazine, or newspaper every
few weeks for as long as I’ve been reading public commentary on eco-
nomic matters:

The dominant idea guiding economic policy in the United
States and much of the globe has been that the market is
unfailingly wise

But lately, a striking unease with market forces has entered
the conversation. The world confronts problems of stag-
gering complexity and consequence, from a shortage
of credit following the mortgage meltdown, to the threat
of global warming. Regulation ... is suddenly being
demanded from unexpected places.

Now, a paragraph like this one printed in the New York Times opinion
section on December 30, 2007 — in an article called “The Free Market: A
False Idol After All?” — makes anyone versed in economic history crazy
with frustration. Just about every word is misleading in several ways, and
yet some version of this scenario appears as the basis of vast amounts of
punditry.

The argument goes like this:

Until now we’ve lived in a world of laissez-faire capitalism, with govern-
ment and policy intellectuals convinced that the market should rule no mat-
ter what. Recent events, however, have underscored the limitations of this
dog-eat-dog system, and reveal that simplistic ideology is no match for a
complex world. Therefore, government, responding to public demand that

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

something be done, has cautiously decided to reign in greed and force us all
to grow up and see the need for a mixed economy.

All three claims are wrong. We live in the 100 th year of a heavily regu-
lated economy; and even 50 years before that, the government was strongly
involved in regulating trade.

The planning apparatus established for World War I set wages and
prices, monopolized monetary policy in the Federal Reserve, presumed
first ownership over all earnings through the income tax, presumed to know
how vertically and horizontally integrated businesses ought to be, and pro-
hibited the creation ofintergenerational dynasties through the death tax.

That planning apparatus did not disappear but lay dormant temporar-
ily, awaiting FDR, who turned that machinery to all-around planning dur-
ing the 1930s, the upshot of which was to delay recovery from the 1929
crash until after the war.

Just how draconian the intervention is ebbs and flows from decade to
decade, but the reality of the long-term trend is undeniable: more taxes,
more regulation, more bureaucracies, more regimentation, more public
ownership, and ever less autonomy for private decision-making. The fed-
eral budget is nearly $3 trillion per year, which is three times what it was in
Reagan’s second term. Just since Bush has been in office, federal interven-
tion in every area of our lives has exploded, from the nationalization of air-
line security to the heavy regulation of the medical sector to the centralized
control of education.

With “free markets” like this, who needs socialism?

So, the first assumption, that we live in a ffee-market world, is simply
not true. In fact, it is sheer fantasy. Flow is it that journalists can continually
get away with asserting that the fantasy is true? How can informed writers
continue to fob off on us the idea that we live in a laissez-faire world that can
only be improved by just a bit of public tinkering?

The reason is that most of our daily experience in life is not with the
Department of Labor or Interior or Education or Justice. It is with Home
Depot, McDonald’s, Kroger, and Pizza Hut. Our lives are spent deal-
ing with the commercial sector mostly, because it is visible and accessible,
whereas the depredations of the state are mostly abstract, and its destruc-
tive effects mostly unseen. We don’t see the inventions left on the shelf, the
products not imported due to quotas, the people not working because of
minimum wage laws, etc.

How Free Is the “Free Market”?

Because of this, we are tempted to believe the unbelievable, namely
that government serves the function only of a night watchman. And only by
believing in such a fantasy can we possibly believe the second assumption,
which is that the problems of our society are due the to the market econ-
omy, not to the government that has intervened in the market economy.

Consider the housing crisis. The money machine called the Federal
Reserve cranks out tire credit as a subsidy to the banking business, the bond
dealers, and the big-spending politicians who would rather borrow than
tax. It is this alchemic temple that distorts the reality that credit must be
rationed in a way that accords with economic reality.

The Federal Reserve embarked on a wild credit ride in the late 1990s
that has dumped some $4 trillion in new money via the credit markets, mak-
ing expansion of the loan sector both inevitable and unsustainable. At the
same time, the federal bureaus that manage and guarantee the bulk of mort-
gages have ballooned beyond belief. The popularity of subprime mortgages
is the tip of a massive but buried debt mountain — all in the name of achiev-
ing the “American dream” of home ownership through massive government
intervention.

Say what you want to about this system, but it is not the free market at
work. Indeed, the very existence of central banking is contrary to the capi-
talist ideal, in which money would be no different from any other good:
produced and supplied by the market in accord with the moral law against
theft and fraud. For the government to authorize a counterfeiter-in-chief is a
direct attack on the sound money system of a market economy.

Let’s move to the third assumption, that government intervention can
solve social and economic problems, with global warming at the top of the
heap. Let’s say that we remain agnostic on the question of whether there is
global warming and what the cause really is (there is no settled answer to
either issue, despite what you hear). The very idea of putting the govern-
ment in charge of changing the weather of the next 100 years is another
notion from fantasy land.

The point about complexity counts against government intervention,
not for it. The major contribution of F.A. Ffayek to social theory is to point
out that the social order — which extends to the whole of the world — is far
too complicated to be managed by bureaus, but rather depends on the
decentralized knowledge and decisions of billions of market actors. In other
words, he gave new credibility to the insight of the classical liberals that the
social order is self-managing and can only be distorted by attempts to cen-
trally plan. Planning, ironically, leads to social chaos.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

You don’t have to be a social scientist to understand this. Anyone who
has experience with public-sector bureaucracies knows that they cannot do
anything as well as markets, and however imperfect free markets are, they
are vastly more efficient and humane in the long run than the public sector.
That is because free markets trust the idea of freedom generally, whereas
other systems imagine that the men in charge are as omniscient as gods.

In one respect, the New York Times is right: there is always a demand for
economic intervention. The government never minds having more power,
and is always prepared to paper over the problems it creates. An economy
not bludgeoned by powerful elites is tire ideal we should seek, even if it has a
name that is wildly unpopular: capitalism.

The Other Side of the Transaction

November 12, 2007

T he cashier overlooked the milk in my shopping cart, so there had to
be a separate transaction to process it. I paid for it with American
Express, and it suddenly occurred to me to apologize.

“Pm so sorry for that. Your fees on that card will probably exceed your
profit.”

She looked at me as if I were speaking an unintelligible language.

“My fees?” she asked.

“Yes, American Express is the most expensive card on the market. You
guys have to pay per charge and also a percentage of the transaction. This
was only a couple of bucks spent here, so these fees can really eat into your
profit margin.”

“I don’t pay any fees,” she said.

It was at this point that I realized that we were on two different plan-
ets. She works for the company as a worker. The store makes a contract
with her to show up and do certain things. She does them. She gets paid
for this. That’s the beginning and end of her economic role in the matrix
of exchange. She is unaware that she is a consumer too, of the employment
services offered by the store; these services must be paid for out of revenue
generated by sales.

From this revenue, the business pays the clerk. The business pays the
credit card company. The business pays tax. The business pays rent. The
business pays for shelving and machinery. The business must acquire —
usually purchase — the goods it sells before it sells them. In doing all of this,

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

it is taking a risk because the profit is that last stage of the transaction; the
expenses are paid earlier in the production process.

Here is tire other side of the coin that the worker doesn’t have to think
about at all. Neither does the consumer. We walk into stores and think,
“Wow, great stuff.” Or, “What a bunch of junk.” We examine the place to
see if there is anything that would be valuable enough for us to acquire in
exchange for the marked amount of money that the store wants from us.
The deal is there for the taking. It is up to us to decide if we want to take it.
No one forces us. If we walk away, there is no penalty for us.

We don’t have to think about the strange reality that these retail and
grocery stores carry millions in inventory. Tens of millions, all of it gathered
together in one spot in the hope that we will like it and be willing to give our
money in exchange for it.

I was in a sporting goods store the other day that seemed to have every-
thing one can imagine. How much inventory? $10 million? $100 million?
It was all beyond belief, and trying to run the numbers in my head boggled
my mind. And here I was buying a $2 pair of socks. That’s a tiny chink out
of the inventory. They might clear 25 cents on that transaction after all the
expenses are paid. And yet they did it all for me and others like me: con-
sumers who are free to buy or not buy.

And then what does the store do with its profit after wages, expenses,
and inventory? Why, it has to replace those socks that I just bought so that
someone else can buy another pair. It has to expand more to compete with
tire new sporting-goods store that just opened up down the street, so it has
to acquire ever more great stuff and sell it at the lowest price possible. There
is no final victory in this battle. All profits are yesterday. All losses could be
tomorrow.

To call enterprise a risk is really to understate the problem. Entrepre-
neurs have a special capacity to discern the uncertain future but they pos-
sess no power to actually create that future. It could be that tomorrow morn-
ing, no one will show up at the grocery store. That could persist through
tire afternoon, and so on through the evening. The same could happen the
next day and the next, until the company goes bankrupt. And how long will
that take? It depends on how much money the owners are willing to lose in
tire course of betting on a profitable future.

This crazy uncertainty of the future — a factor which we cannot over-
come, no matter how much data we accumulate or how many fortune tellers
we call upon — is a universal condition, always maddening and infuriating
but completely unsolvable. It doesn’t change for rich or poor. The largest

The Other Side of the Transaction

corporation and the smallest lemonade stand face this trial in precisely the
same way. Neither knows what the future truly does hold. The difference
between the rich and the poor is how much money a person can afford to
lose when he turns out to be wrong.

To possess a consciousness about the two sides of enterprise is a bur-
den in some ways. It destabilizes you, and actually makes you wonder how
tire system can work at all.

How can a store hold on to millions in inventory and pay for it 25 cents
at a time while being required by competitive pressure to expand ever more?

More questions:

How can a business employ hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of
people to produce goods long before they know with certainty that anyone
will buy them?

Why are there such people as entrepreneurs who are willing to take all
this on?

Why are they so unlike the masses of people who would rather act
solely as consumers of all the glories that the free enterprise system dishes
out?

These thoughts are the ones economic understanding gives rise to, and
they are not exactly comforting. The old-style classical liberals reveled in
the fact that all these “impersonal forces” worked without anyone really
being aware of them, or having to understand them. The checkout lady at
tire store just shows up, pushes buttons, gets paid, and stays or leaves based
on her assessment of her own well-being. Everyone else does the same. The
pursuit of self-interest generates this amazing global matrix that benefits
everyone.

The old liberals reveled in the fact that no one had to understand it, but
then the system itself came under attack, and needed defense. It had to be
understood to be explained, and explained in order to be preserved.

This is why Ludwig von Mises set out to revise liberal doctrine. It is not
enough that people participate unknowingly in the market economy. They
must understand it, and see how, and precisely how, their smallest and self-
ish contribution leads to the general good, and, moreover, they must desire
that general good.

All of which is to say that in an enlightened world, it would be a good
thing for that cashier to understand economics from the point of view of
those who pay her. It would be good for striking workers to understand

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

how they are harming not only their bosses but also themselves. It would be
good for voters to see how supporting government benefits for themselves
harms society at large.

An economically literate public is the foundation for keeping that amaz-
ing and wild machine called the market working and functioning for the
benefit of the whole of humanity.

Lounge Lizards, Weak Wastrels,
& Forgetters

May 17,2002

P ity die businessman who hires someone just out of school! Most grad-
uating seniors have lived a lush life in college, after living a lazy life in
high school, and a goof-off life before that.

Graduating seniors know all about credit cards, popular culture, web
surfing, internet chat, and PC politics, but next to nothing about what used
to be called the work ethic. In short, they are worse than useless to the world
of commerce.

What follows is a primer in 500 words, easy rules for how new workers
can go from worthless to super valuable with nothing other than a change
of attitude.

The current job market is tight, which makes it look very much like
most job markets in human history: workers are paid in proportion to what
they contribute to the overall productivity of the firm.

It doesn’t seem possible, but this is the number-one fact about work
that new hires do not seem to understand. So let me repeat it: People are
not paid because they finished school. They are not paid because they got
dirough the job application process. They are not paid simply because they
now enjoy a new job tide. They are not paid so that the firm can enjoy the
privdege of their presence.

People are not paid for any of these reasons, or at least they are not paid
for any of these reasons for very long. They are paid for only one reason: to
make the firm more productive than it would be in their absence.

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Moreover, if workers hope to keep their position and improve it, their
contribution to the productivity of the firm must exceed tire resources that
tire firm is putting into them.

I recall once when I was working in retail at the age of 16, the manager
came by and told me and another employee to straighten up the some messy
products on a shelf. After the manager walked on, my coworker turned to
me and said: “I don’t straighten shelves for minimum wage.”

A few weeks later, of course, he wasn’t getting minimum wage to do
anything because he was tossed out on his ear. New workers need to under-
stand that they are mostly overpaid, even vastly overpaid. The employer is
making an investment in hopes that you will become more valuable over
time. The point is that you must always strive to be worth more to the firm
than you are paid to be.

Beyond understanding this elementary point, there are only five simple
rules for getting by in the world of work. If you adhere to them, you will be
an immense success in life, now and until the day you die. If you do not, you
had better hope for a job in the government, join a union, or aspire to fulfill
a quota.

Here they are:

1 . Listen carefully to instructions and never expect to be told anything
a second time.

2. Do a complete job, and do it better than your supervisor expects
you to do it.

3. Work diligently to the point of discomfort, and without interrup-
tion or complaint.

4. Complete all tasks in a timely manner, meaning as soon as possible.

5. If you run out of assigned tasks, look for other jobs to do that help
others and the firm.

That’s it: five rules to a happy, productive job, to a happy, productive
life. Do these sound absurdly commonplace? Perhaps. Why, then, are most
all new workers, and many old workers, unable to understand them, or
unable to follow through with them? It seems that people can pass their
22nd birthday these days without ever having encountered a setting where
these things are expected of them.

There are a few more “don’ts” too. Don’t get involved in office politics.
Don’t overstep the bounds of your authority. Don’t envy the pay or work-
ing conditions of others. Don’t be a smart-aleck. But these are just tire finer

Lounge Lizards, Weak Wastrels, & Forgetters

points. The main point is to learn to be valuable to others by listening and
following through. It’s on this simple point where so many fail.

I know a wise man who says there are three types of losers in the world:
The Lounge Lizard, the Weak Wastrel, and the Forgetter. Adhere to the five
great rules of work, and you will be none of these. You will be immensely
valuable to a business and therefore to the world. You will he constantly
on the march toward better and better jobs. You will be happy. You will be
financially successful. You will be loved, appreciated, and admired.

In any case, you won’t be a loser. If you turn out to be, blame no one but
yourself.

What Are Just Prices?

June 6, 2008

“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the
held, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over
it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that held.”

— Matthew 13:44

W e all have strange and contradictory wishes concerning what
prices should be. We are outraged at what is happening to the
price of gas and food. We don’t think they should go up. In real
terms, we want them to fall, and they have fallen in the last decade and a
half. That’s a good tiring, right? That’s how tire world should work.

But housing? Now, that’s a different matter. When the prices fall, people
freak out. It’s like the end of the world. How is it possible that my own home
would fall in price?! That’s not the way the world should work. Everyone
knows that house prices are suppose to go up up up, all the time, without
fail, until the end of time.

Same with stocks. We want to open the webpage that lists our portfolios
and see the prices higher and higher all the time. When they fall, we flip out
and denrandjustice.

But let’s stop and think about how peculiar this is. What kind of theory
of the world insists that houses and stocks always go up in price, whereas
gas and grain prices always go down? That doesn’t really make sense. A
price is not set by natural law, nor are price movements intended to follow a
preset pattern like the movements of stars. Prices are nothing but exchange
ratios — points of agreement between buyer and seller. They reflect many
factors, none of them fixed parts of the universe.

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So why do we expect some to rise and some to fall? It all depends on
whether you are in the position of a producer or a consumer. As homeown-
ers, we are in fact “producers” of our homes; that is to say, we are holding
them with the expectation of someday offering them for sale. The same is
true of our stocks. We already own them, so of course we want the price to
go up. Then we can sell them at a profit.

On the other hand, on things we intend to buy, things like gas and grain,
we want the price to be as low as possible. We want their prices to fall. That
way we save resources.

So what’s at work here is self-interest. Think of the same situation from
tire point of view of someone who is a first-time homebuyer. Does this per-
son want high prices or low prices? Of course tire answer is obvious. This
person wants the lowest price possible, so for this person this “housing
bust” is not a bust at all. It is a boon. But once this person becomes a hom-
eowner, matters change. Now he wants prices to rise.

Now think of the gas station owner. If it didn’t affect how much he sold,
would this person want prices to rise or fall? Of course, he wants the high-
est prices possible.

I recall once dickering with one of those insufferable car salesmen. I
had my eye on some car and I said I couldn’t afford it. He asked me how
much I wanted to pay for this car. I said $0. He looked at me like I was crazy,
but I was only telling the truth. I added that I know how much he wanted
me to pay: a trillion dollars. And he reluctantly agreed. So how do the per-
son who wants to pay $0 and the person who wants to get a trillion come
to agreement? You find some meeting point in between, tire point at which
tire car is worth more to me than the money I will give for it, and the money
I will give for tire car is worth more to him than tire car. The resulting terms
are called the price.

It’s the same in all markets. We can see that it is perfectly absurd to
attempt to fashion national policy around tire interests of only one party to
an exchange. To try to keep house prices high and rising cheats the first-
time buyer. To keep them low cheats the current owner. To keep grain
prices high helps grain producers but hurts grain consumers. Some gas
companies might like high gas prices, but consumers hate them. On the
other hand, gas prices forced lower by dictate might thrill consumers but
producers might end up hurting so much that they shut down. That helps
no one.

The only real answer here is to let tire free market rule, which is another
way of saying that people should be free to come to their own agreements

Wliat Are Just Prices?

101

about the prices they are willing to pay or accept for this and that. Those
points of agreement should be as flexible as human valuation itself. That is
to say, we should be free to change our minds, with each exchange taken as
an end in itself, with no bearing on future points of agreement.

This is not only fitting with the needs of freedom — any attempt to force
prices to do this or that does in fact impinge on our freedom to negotiate —
but it is also essential to a well-functioning economy. That’s because the
price is heavily influenced by factors such as resource availability, the sub-
jective valuations of consumers, and the profitability of the undertaking in
light of accounting costs. In the end, the books have to be in the black. The
piices that are accepted in the market must sustain this state of affairs. Even
in mega-industries like oil, the difference between revenue and expenses
can be surprisingly thin. Even small regulatory and tax changes can drive
companies of all sizes to bankruptcy.

Prices are crucial to the wise apportioning of resources in a world with
unlimited wants and limited resources. Prices affect the way in which we
use things, whether conserving them or throwing them away. You will note
that higher gas prices change the way you make judgments about going
places and doing things. This is a good thing. Higher prices signal the need
to conserve — and without unworkable mandates from government. And
from a producer’s point of view, prevailing prices provide crucial informa-
tion concerning the forecasting of future profits, and hence today’s invest-
ment decisions.

Now we must address the matter of justice. We think we know what a
just price is. But do we really, and what actually constitutes justice in prices?
What comes first to my own mind is the Parable of the Treasure in the Field.
An unknowing land owner is just living day to day with no knowledge that
there is a treasure in the backyard. Some other guy, however, has knowledge
of the treasure, so he sells everything he has, knocks on the owner’s door
and nonchalantly says, you know, I would be glad to buy your property.
The owner sells.

But let’s be clear here: the owner did not know that there was a treasure
back there. Nor did the buyer say a word about it, lest the price he had to
pay go sky high. Today, people might say that the owner got ripped off. But
Jesus doesn’t say this. He holds up the buyer as wise and moral. Interesting,
isn’t it? Is there justice in this exchange? Most certainly. And why? Because
they agreed voluntarily. That’s all there is to it.

There is no way to observe an existing price and declare it just or unjust.
As St. Bernardino — a shrewd observer of economic affairs — said,

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Water is usually cheap where it is abundant. But it can hap-
pen that on a mountain or in another place, water is scarce,
not abundant. It may well happen that water is more highly
esteemed than gold, because gold is more abundant in this
place than water.

The Late Scholastics, followers of St. Thomas Aquinas, all agreed that
the just price has no fixed position. It all depends on the common estima-
tion of traders. Luis de Molina summed up tire point:

A price is considered just or unjust not because of the
nature of the things themselves — this would lead us to
value them according to their nobility or perfection — but
due to their ability to serve human utility. But this is the
way in which they are appreciated by men, they therefore
command a price in the market and in exchanges.

(For more on the views of the Schoolmen on prices, see Faith and Lib-
erty: The Economic Thought of the Late Scholastics , by Alejandro Chafuen.)

Now, there are ways for a price to become a matter of injustice. It
can mask fraud. The prices can result from or be influenced by some act
of force, such as price controls or taxation or restrictions on supply and
demand. Behind each of these, we find coercion, a body of people who
are mandating or restricting in a way that is incompatible with free choice.
Arguably, this is not just.

We can conclude, then, that to the extent we complain about unjust gas-
oline prices, we need to look at the restrictions on refineries or exploration
or drilling, or examine the role that high gas taxes have in pushing up prices
beyond what they would be under conditions of free exchange.

And as for those who believe that all prices should move in ways that
benefit their own particular economic interests at the expense of everyone
else, don’t confuse your agenda with a matter of justice. Prevailing prices
in a business-based economy are a reflection of cooperative arrangements
involving people with free will.

The Economics of Here to There

January 17, 2007

N ot being a television watcher, I was amazed to discover, from watch-
ing an hour or two of commercials this weekend, that there is a little
pill you can take that will turn your body from portly and weak to
thin and strong in a matter of months, if not weeks.

And how much better will be the eventual results if you acquire this
thing called The Bean, which looks like a blow-up pool toy but is really the
key to flattening your belly and giving you abs of extraordinary beauty?

Also, there is this cream that will triple the amount of moisture in your
hands, and there is a gel that will stop hair loss, and, also, it turns out that
I would have a greater ability to concentrate if I ate a good breakfast that
includes Frosted Mini-Wheats, each of which talks and has a charming
personality. And there’s this nose spray that will help me breath better and
play trumpet like a pro, which will thereby earn my son’s admiration, just
like on TV.

Such are the claims we encounter minute by minute on the tube, adver-
tisements on which millions and billions are spent, just so that we will buy
this instead of that. And the socialist says: what a ghastly waste it all is! They
ask: what is wrong with the economic system as it exists that vast sums of
wealth are consumed to get us to believe the improbable when, at the same
time, whole populations around the world suffer without access to clean
water and enough food to feed children? And so they propose a global
regime to expropriate the capitalist class.

And yet it is not as if the capitalists welcome the chance to spend vast
sums on television advertising. How great it would be if all a capitalist had
to do was to create something, and that alone would cause the multitudes to

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flock to the warehouse and buy! Alas, that is not the way the world works.
There are multiple competing ends for how we spend our money. The first
step that is required to persuade those resources to be used in one way as
versus another is to have the knowledge that a particular product exists.
The second step is to persuade the potential buyer to make a choice in favor
of a particular product. It is the necessity of human choice in a world in
which information is scarce that makes advertising a feature of our world.

If they knew in advance that the millions they spend this way would
be for naught, they would use the resources in other ways. The boss could
increase his own salary, the company might lower its prices to undercut the
competition, or attract better workers through higher pay. The resources
it requires to promote your product are some of the most painful ways to
spend a buck. It is pure speculation as to whether there will be a payoff.
Even a temporary payoff says nothing about the future.

What the entire critique of advertising misses is the crucial and even
decisive economic issue that is solved by the principle of marketing. How
does a product or a service go from being a good idea or even a physical
possibility to being available for people and available for consumption?
Here is the major issue that has never been solved by any other system but
capitalism. And capitalism solves it in a way that is wealth-generating and
leads to constant improvements.

Thanks to the advent of mass blogging, many more people are
acquainted with this issue than ever before. Let’s say you take what is for
most people a big and exciting step of creating a blog. There are so many
sites now that make it easy. You sign up, you fiddle around with the look
and feel, you add links, and the all-important “about me” page. You are
ready to go.

You write your first post, thoughts you find funny, profound, insightful,
or otherwise compelling in some way. Submit. And voila! You are published
in a medium that is accessible to the entire world. Who can believe it?

The thrill doesn’t last long because you suddenly realize something
that had not yet presented itself. Only your family is reading this. Maybe.
It’s true that anyone in the world can access it but why should anyone want
to? How are people even going to find out about it? How can you be sure
that people are going to come back again and again?

This is a striking problem mainly because it is something that hadn’t
actually occurred to you before. You created a beautiful product. You could
create a profound post. But you must then persuade people to read it.

The Economics of Here to There

105

You might have read somewhere that the key to blogging is to do it
often. So you blog and blog. You post three times, or even 1 0 times, per day.
You keep this up for weeks, even months. Exhausted, you check your stats.
They show no increase in readership. Still only your family is reading — or
at least they claim to he reading.

You then turn to other means. You link, you beg for links, you turn
on trackbacks. You try boosting your search-engine ranking. Finally, you
take the step: you buy a spot on Google ads. Then things begin to happen.
And then you marvel at how much time you have spent on this project. It
seems that you have spent 10 times as much time promoting as you ever
spent writing your blog. And yet what is the point of writing if you have no
readers?

In this way, average people are beginning to see the great hidden cost
of capitalist production: getting from here to there. And take note that with
blogging, the problem of distribution is already solved. The final product is
delivered via a click.

Imagine if you had a book or a tire or an air conditioner part to sell.
That presents all sorts of new problems. You must produce something
physical. How many? You must have a warehouse. How big? You must be
prepared to process credit cards, do the accounts, meet a payroll. And you
must do all of this, not after you have the revenue, but before! It all seems
like a wild act of faith. It is indeed.

And keep in mind that the costs of distribution are not only a problem
that faces the capitalist class. It also confronts the charity worker. What if
I made a massive dinner and set it on the table and proclaimed that it was
reserved for the poor of the world. Well, there are a few steps missing, aren’t
there? N o matter what your ideology, the reality that you must do something
to get the food to those who need it is inescapable. The costs of promotion
and distribution are far more vast than the costs of production alone.

In order to he willing to undertake such a thing and bear such high
costs, you must really believe in your product, or at least believe that you
have entered into some kind of sustainable undertaking. The prospect of
bankruptcy looms large and relentlessly.

Am I saying that the inventor of The Bean really believes that it can give
you fabulous abs? Most certainly. And if used correctly, it probably does.
The same goes for the hand-cream company, the mini-wheats makers, and
the stop-hair-loss capitalist. These people are indeed believers. There are
such things as hoaxes, to be sure, but capitalism tends to discourage them

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by imposing the costs of promotion and distribution entirely on the pro-
ducer, while the choice to buy or not buy lies solely with the consumer.

But why must it be tacky and unbearable to so many of us? Well, let’s be
blunt: business is trying to reach the masses. Mises explains:

“Business propaganda must be obtrusive and blatant. It
is its aim to attract the attention of slow people, to rouse
latent wishes, to entice men to substitute innovation for
inert clinging to traditional routine. In order to succeed,
advertising must be adjusted to the mentality of the peo-
ple courted. It must suit their tastes and speak their idiom.
Advertising is shrill, noisy, coarse, puffing, because the
public does not react to dignified allusions. It is the bad
taste of the public that forces the advertisers to display bad
taste in their publicity campaigns. The art of advertising
has evolved into a branch of applied psychology, a sister
discipline of pedagogy.

Like all things designed to suit the taste of the masses,
advertising is repellent to people of delicate feeling.”

A sister discipline of pedagogy? Yes indeed it is, and it is also art,
and those with “delicate feeling” need to learn to appreciate it for what it
is. They don’t have to believe a word of it. Decline to drink the potion to
make you thin. Refuse the breakfast that will make you concentrate. Eschew
tire hand cream that will restore moisture. Be as skeptical as you want and,
instead, save every penny. Turn off the television if you hate it and sit in your
perfect environment and listen to Gregorian chant.

But don’t push for a system that would deny producers the right
to persuade others, and don’t deny others the right to make a choice for
themselves.

The Pope and the Cause of Freedom

October 24,2001

n years ago, Pope John Paul II released Centesimus Annus, an

encyclical, at once subtle and sweeping, that addressed the future of

JL the post-communist countries of Europe and the general subjects of
freedom, society, and faith. The document represented the fullest embrace
that the Catholic Church has given in the modern period to classical liberal
ideas, particularly as they apply in the economic sphere.

In Centesimus , the Pope argues that socialism failed, not just because
it was bad economics, but mainly because it rejected the “truth about the
human person.” The state under socialism treats the individual, not with
dignity, but as “a molecule within the social organism, so that the good of
the individual is completely subordinated to the functioning of the socio-
economic mechanism.” As an alternative, the Pope recommends the “busi-
ness economy” and the “free market” as “the most efficient instrument for
utilizing resources and effectively responding to needs.”

These observations are the conclusions of an in-depth discourse on
the structure of society itself, with reflections on the place of intermediat-
ing institutions, private property, the price system, the division of labor, the
family, and how all of them relate to the role of faith in sustaining a social
commitment to liberty.

Pope John Paul II draws attention to the ways in which the commer-
cial sector, rooted in voluntarism and cooperative work, sustains “soli-
darity,” which comes not through coercion but through cooperation and
exchange. Centesimus revives the idea of “subsidiarity”: the view that prob-
lems are best solved by those people and institutions closest to them, and
that outside interventions should take place only when necessary and only
on a temporary basis. The coupling of these two ideas of “solidarity” and

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“subsidiarity” draws attention to the unlimited possibilities for human
cooperation under freedom and the severe limits that must always be
enforced against the power of the state.

The Pope is blunt on the nature of the total state:

In the totalitarian and authoritarian regimes, the princi-
ple that force predominates over reason was carried to the
extreme. Man was compelled to submit to a conception of
reality imposed on him by coercion, and not reached by
virtue of his own reason and the exercise of his own free-
dom. This principle must be overturned and total recog-
nition must be given to the rights of the human conscience,
which is bound only to the truth, both natural and revealed.

The recognition of these rights represents the primary
foundation of every authentically free political order.

He offers severe criticisms of the democratic state:

Authentic democracy is possible only in a State ruled by
law, and on the basis of a correct conception of the human
person ... if there is no ultimate truth to guide and direct
political activity, then ideas and convictions can easily
be manipulated for reasons of power. As history demon-
strates, a democracy without values easily turns into open
or thinly disguised totalitarianism.

And of the welfare state:

By intervening directly and depriving society of its respon-
sibility, the Social Assistance State leads to a loss of human
energies and an inordinate increase of public agencies,
which are dominated more by bureaucratic ways of think-
ing than by concern for serving their clients, and which are
accompanied by an enormous increase in spending.

The document is just as severe in its attack on the warfare state:

I myself, on the occasion of the recent tragic war in the Per-
sian Gulf, repeated the cry: “Never again war!” No, never
again war, which destroys the lives of innocent people,
teaches how to kill, throws into upheaval even the lives of
those who do the killing and leaves behind a trail of resent-
ment and hatred, thus making it all the more difficult to
find a just solution of the very problems which provoked
tire war.

The Pope and the Cause of Freedom

109

The Church is not a policy think-tank, nor an international planning
agency like the IMF or World Bank, and thus warns that it “has no models
to present.” Civil society must develop organically from a healthy culture.

Models that are real and truly effective can only arise within
the framework of different historical situations, through
the efforts of all those who responsibly confront concrete
problems in all their social, economic, political and cul-
tural aspects, as these interact with one another. For such a
task the Church offers her social teaching as an indispens-
able and ideal orientation.

As versus the imposition of a particular political and economic struc-
ture, the Church echoes classical liberalism’s claim that free societies, when
circumscribed by individual moral conviction, are essentially self-ordering:

Not only is it wrong from the ethical point of view to dis-
regard human nature, which is made for freedom, but in
practice it is impossible to do so. Where society is so orga-
nized as to reduce arbitrarily or even suppress the sphere
in which freedom is legitimately exercised, the result is that
tire life of society becomes progressively disorganized and
goes into decline.

Among the self-ordering systems in society is the commercial sector,
which is based on private property, profit (“When a firm makes a profit,
this means that productive factors have been properly employed and cor-
responding human needs have been duly satisfied”), the division of labor,
entrepreneurship, and the business firm.

There’s another reason the Catholic Church isn’t proposing a political
blueprint: even in its social teaching, the Pope is focused on the central mis-
sion of the Church, which is not building the kingdom of God on earth but
evangelizing souls. The entire approach is oriented toward guarding human
dignity and creating the social conditions that best enable man to work out
salvation.

If Woodrow Wilson wanted to make the world safe for democracy, and
George W. Bush wants to make the world safe from evil, John Paul II has
an agenda that is more politically modest but more spiritually challeng-
ing: he wants to make societies safe for the spread of the gospel. He con-
cludes that the best approach is a “society of free work, of enterprise and of
participation.”

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It’s no wonder that, on its release, Centesimus Annus was something
of a new phenomenon. It was front-page news in the New York Times , and
over the decade, the debates and discussions of the encyclical have filled
many volumes. Its lessons and intellectual orientation are still being dis-
cussed and discovered, as are its intellectual antecedents (which include the
Austrian School of economics).

Lacking in most of the discussion has been a reiteration of a basic tool
for understanding the structure of social teaching itself. What is its status,
and to what extent is it regarded as authoritative and binding? There are
three general categories of argument in Centesimus-. principles, historical
observations, and applications. Only the principles are said to be bind-
ing on the conscience because these “involve the exercise of her teaching
authority.” As for analysis of history and the “new requirements for evange-
lization,” they do “not fall per se within the Magisterium’s specific domain.”

Among the principles: dignity and rights of the human person, solidar-
ity through human cooperation, subsidiarity and limits of state power, the
advancement of the common good, the moral imperative of freedom and
peace, the obligation to justice and charity, the universality of truth.

Among the observations: the failure of socialism, the success of the
business economy, the advances in economic sciences, the problems inher-
ent in democracy unhinged from morality.

Among the applications: the rule of law, the productivity of individ-
ual initiative, dangers of bureaucratization, the centrality of intermediating
institutions.

Breaking the document down in this way (the lists could be much lon-
ger) helps to account for how the Catholic Church can at once claim that
its statements are not contingent on time and place, and, on the other hand,
only recently have given such a full embrace to certain free-market ideals.
It’s true that past statements on economics have stumbled, and even Cen-
tesimus Annus errs in its recommendation of a minimum wage, for example.
These are applications that fall outside the teaching authority of the Church
and are thus subject to change.

To fully appreciate tire role of this encyclical in the history of our time,
consider two points: 1) the Pope played a direct role in undermining the
legitimacy of the communist states and thus bringing about their collapse,
and 2) so surprised were Western intellectuals by the collapse that precious
little work had been done to prepare for a transition to a post-communist
era. When this Pope spoke on the matter, it created shockwaves that are still
being felt today.

The Pope and the Cause of Freedom

111

It is sometimes observed that ministers and priests face a special temp-
tation to despair — and tire same could be said of great scholars and intellec-
tuals — because they are forever preaching principles that people themselves
will never live up to. Certainly, neither the U.S. nor the post-communist
societies come close to embracing the full vision presented here. But it is the
role of ideals to keep us on the right path and warn of the dangers along the
way. It is here where Centesimus Annus succeeds the most.

TECHNOLOGY

Authors: Beware of Copyright

January 21,2009

W hen an author signs a publication contract, insofar as it contains
strict and traditional copyright notices, he is pretty much sign-
ing his life away. It used to be that the publisher would maintain
control only so long as the book is in print. Today, with digital printing, this
means forever: your lifetime plus 70 years.

During this time, you can’t even quote significant portions of your own
writing without permission from the publisher, and you could find yourself
paying tire publisher for the rights. You can’t read your own book aloud and
sell the results. You certainly can’t give ajournal a chapter.

You could try to be sneaky and change the text a bit, right? Wrong.
They’ve thought of that. You will own and control new matter but the old
matter is still the private possession of The Man.

What if the publisher isn’t marketing your book? You can yell and
scream but they don’t have to answer. In fact, most publishers have a system
for dealings with authors. It’s called voice mail. Emails go unanswered.

You are done for. You sold your soul and you can’t get it back. Not
within your lifetime. Your creation, which copyright is designed to protect,
is now the possession of someone else. This follows the trajectory as laid
out in Michele Boldrin and David Levine’s smashing new book Against
Intellectual Monopoly.

As they explain, this racket began in the 17th century when govern-
ment instituted the idea of ownership of ideas, precisely so that the gov-
ernment could crush ideas it didn’t like. Only approved authors got the
stamp of approval. Same with art. But then the authors and creators rose
up and demand their rights in the 18th century, and the copyright idea was

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transferred from government to private parties, who were then in a posi-
tion to crush competitors. In the 20th century, this changed again, when the
right was transferred from individuals to corporations.

In the digital age that exists simultaneous to the most tyrannical copy-
right laws ever, this is creating an intolerable situation that amounts to a
form of involuntary servitude. Creators write and paint and watch corpo-
rate interlopers doom their work to obscurity. The creator hoped to make
a dent in the universe but only sees his material land in the recycle bin of
history.

Yes, it is done by contract — contract backed by the power of the state.
So why do authors put up with it? Mostly because it is a convention, and
they haven’t known about alternatives. Also, they are bribed by the ego-
exploiting promise of royalties which never arrive.

The practical effects can be devastating. There is, for example, a book
on Austrian business cycles that was published some years ago, and it is in
print from an academic house, but in print only in the most technical sense.
It is essentially unaffordable for anyone but a state-funded library with an
inelastic demand curve.

The Mises Institute wants to bring it back in paperback and make it
affordable. Nope, can’t happen. The publisher says that it will do it for us,
at a very high price with virtually no discount. They are in their legal rights
to do this.

Of course it makes the whole project completely unviable. No deal.
The authors are cornered. There is nothing they can do. There is nothing
we can do. A great Austrian book, written over the course of ten years, is
consigned to the dusty shelves of a handful of libraries, for at least another
70 years.

This is only one case of a hundred that I’ve seen. It is even worse when
the author is dead. The publisher may or may not have handed back the
rights to the manuscript. Those rights may or may not have been trans-
ferred. They may or may not have been handed on in the will or perhaps
tlrey are in probate.

Yes, a potential new publisher can hunt this down to find out who
among six billion potential owners actually controls rights to this manu-
script. A lawyer is always glad to spend vast amounts of your money doing
research. He may or may not come up with an answer you can trust. Mean-
while, you have spent die equivalent of a first print run.

Authors: Beware of Copyright

115

Most potential publishers will say: to heck with it. Again, you have
failed to be immortalized by your work. This goes for art and musical com-
positions and even recordings of your band or voice. Thanks to federal law
since the 1980s, all this material is bound up in a thicket of law, and this
thicket will not evaporate for more than one hundred years.

This is what the “intellectual property” of copyright has wrought.

So I say to all authors: please look at your contracts. Don’t sign your
life away. Publish on the condition of Creative Commons. Claim your rights
back as a creator and an author.

How does this work? You have to copyright your work, if only to pre-
vent others from claiming copyright and thereby binding all other living
persons, including you, from publishing it. Once you claim copyright, add
that it is published under the Creative Commons License 3.0. This rids
your manuscript or song or painting of copyright’s provision of doom: the
requirement that only one institution can control it.

In other words, it makes your creation part of the free market. It can
be posted, recorded, shown, photographed, celebrated by one and all for-
ever. Isn’t this why you create in the first place? Isn’t this what drives you to
write, paint, photograph, sing, or whatever? You want to make a difference.
You want credit for your work. This permits this.

Old-fashioned copyright is nothing but a form of modern tyranny in
tire digital age. It has no future. Bail out of this wicked institution and make
sure that your work has a future too.

If You Believe in IP,

How Do You Teach Others?

November 16,2009

S ome Harvard professors are taking very seriously their “intellectual
property rights” and have claimed copyright to the ideas that they
spread in their classrooms. What prompted this was a website in
which students posted their notes to help other students.

The professors have cracked down. It might have been enough to leg-
islate against this behavior in particular. Instead, they wrapped their objec-
tion in the great fallacy of our age: the professor owns his ideas and they
may not be spread without his permission.

This action has opened up a can of worms, and now other universities
have taken up the puzzling question: how do you at once enforce intellec-
tual property and uphold the ideal of a university, which is, after all, about
teaching and spreading ideas to others?

The problem is a serious one that highlights tire absurdity of the notion
that an idea — infinitely reproducible and thereby not scarce, and also taught
with the overt purpose of gaining adherents among students — can be some-
how contained and restrained once it is unleashed. The only way to retain
exclusive possession of an idea is never to share it with anyone. But of
course that not only cuts against the grain of teaching; it is contrary to the
human impulse for bouncing ideas off others and still claiming some credit
for innovation.

There are two possible ways out of this problem in a digital age: open
source or IP. The open-source model has been adopted by MIT, which has
made its entire curriculum open source and freely available online. This is
a fairly straightforward approach, which finally gets down to the reality that

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what MIT is charging for is not so much the education but the degree itself.
Clarity at last.

Another approach is the one taken by Harvard and, most explicitly, by
the University of Texas, which has suggested that professors make the fol-
lowing contract with students:

My lectures are protected by state common law and fed-
eral copyright law. They are my own original expression
and I record them at the same time that I deliver them in
order to secure protection. Whereas you are authorized to
take notes in class thereby creating a derivative work from
my lecture, the authorization extends only to making one
set of notes for your own personal use and no other use.

You are not authorized to record my lectures, to provide
your notes to anyone else or to make any commercial use
of them without express prior permission from me.

You can make “no other use” of what you learn? Really? That sort of
smashes the whole point of education, doesn’t it?

The goal of the university is to spread knowledge, not to grant a one-
time use for what you learn in the classroom. The aim of an individual stu-
dent is to gain knowledge that is used in every possible way for a lifetime —
and to pass the ideas on to others.

In fact, what the contract requires is impossible. It is not as if our bodies
are equipped with hard drives that can be wiped clean after the semester is
over. In any case, even if we were so equipped, that would defeat the whole
point of taking classes and paying universities for offering them.

I don’t find this struggle ridiculous in the slightest. Once you posit the
ownership of ideas already made public, this problem becomes inevitable.
Of course the institution of teaching has been around since the ancient
world, and yet this issue has never really presented itself before. But since
the publishing mercantilists first asserted that property rights could be
applied to ideas, the problem of what to do about teaching has been wait-
ing in the wings. The advent of digital media forces the issue, because ideas,
once stated, can spread globally in an instant.

I’m further struck by this problem in light of a fantastic new book on
Ayn Rand called Goddess of the Market , by Jennifer Burns. The author isn’t
quite zeroed in on this issue as such, but she provides enough information
to document the fact that for Rand the issue of her intellectual property
became increasingly important throughout her life. She documents how

How Do You Teach Others?

119

Rand’s royalties from her work Night of January 1 6th gave her the first
taste of financial independence, and how she later came to believe that she
had not received enough. With each successive negotiation for book royal-
ties and film rights, her terms became ever higher and ever more strict.

Now, in a free market, there is nothing wrong with an upfront payment
for first-run rights to a book or movie. It is by being first past the post that
profits are made. This was how artists were paid in the Renaissance: not
through royalties, as if the artists owns the image or work, but through a
payment that comes with granting some third party the opportunity to be
tire first to reveal the work. In the 19th century, for example, British authors
would sell their manuscripts to American publishers, who could not copy-
right the work (there was no such thing as international copyright in those
days). It turned out that the authors made more money through this means
of payment than through royalties in their own country.

So on this score, Rand had perfectly sound instincts (a person should
charge as much as he or she can for first run) but Rand’s rationale was
rooted in this modern notion of intellectual property, a theory, shared by
nearly all her contemporaries, on which she was never once challenged. In
fact, to a great extent, her philosophy exalted the role and rights of the cre-
ator more than any, probably, in the history ofideas. This is a great contribu-
tion, but she took the notion too far — for Rand, intellectual rights trumped
real rights.

This comes through not only in her writings ( The Fountainhead can
be given a property-rights spin but ultimately it is about intellectual rights)
but also in her personal relationships. Here, property in her ideas became
a source of conflict with friends such as Isabel Paterson, with whom Rand
was friends for many years. Tensions entered into the friendship when Rand
accused Paterson of taking her ideas in the writing of God of the Machine.
Paterson responded that Rand’s contribution to the ideas in this book was
minimal. They wrote back and forth and argued over specific instances of
who said what to whom. They sorted through events in their associations,
attempting to reconstruct them and divvy the ideas.

In truth, what had happened to Rand and Paterson is called a “conver-
sation.” One person says something, and another elaborates, which prompts
new thoughts, new directions, new comments — a consensus — which then
gets interrupted by new thoughts, points of departure, new elaborations, a
new consensus, and so on. And if you know how Rand was, staying up all
night in these detailed discussions of theory, you know that it would be sim-
ply impossible to sort out who owned what.

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You can try this yourself with a friend. Talk for 15 minutes and then
attempt to draw an ownership map of ideas. See if you can come to a con-
sensus. Then see what the attempt does to your friendship.

Reading through the history of Rand’s relationships with people, we
find that this dynamic was pervasive — again, I’m not saying this as accusa-
tion but merely observing that it as an extension of her theory concerning
tire ownership of ideas.

This is particularly a problem for a theory of life that exalts indepen-
dent thinking and creativity. What if the idea that one should be indepen-
dent and creative itself actually came from someone else? One must con-
stantly acknowledge one’s debts. And, moreover, one should be cautious
about remixing the ideas, lest the property right in the idea of being creative
be stained and marred.

Marrying the idea of intellectual property to the notion of being inde-
pendent generates extreme dependence and mandatory intellectual
compliance.

The famed role of Nathaniel Branden in the Rand circle was to be not
only a teacher of her theories but also an enforcer of Rand’s intellectual
property rights, which involved excluding people as much as it did includ-
ing people. He was caught on the horns of a dilemma in many ways. On the
one hand, he was seeking followers for Rand’s ideas. On the other hand, he
wanted to protect her ideas from being stolen (he probably wanted to main-
tain his own monopolistic possession of them).

What kind of person, then, are you willing to tolerate as part of the
inner circle? It would have to he a person who would repeat the ideas of
Rand exactly, without alteration, and constantly cite Rand for her innova-
tion — and assert her right to the idea. Taken far enough, one can imagine
tire result: a drone army of people who footnoted nearly every phrase com-
ing out of their mouths.

It was in the pursuit of intellectual property that Nathaniel intervened
in Objectivist clubs to prevent them from using the word Objectivist, to
prevent them from using quotes from John Galt, to prevent them even
from advertising lectures on the topic by students of her ideas. As Burns
demonstrates — but without clarity of causal explanation — the movement
for Rand’s ideas only really took off after Nathaniel Branden had been cast
out of the inner circle. The monopoly on her ideas could no longer be
maintained. They were set free (not fully open source, but at least far less
restricted), and so they flourished.

How Do You Teach Others?

121

Rand was not entirely happy about this transition. Her impression was
not entirely invalid that people were “robbing” her other thoughts: Rand
was having a huge influence. Like the professors discussed above, however,
she turned away from an open-source model and towards IP enforcement.
Of the Libertarian Party, for example, she wrote, “it’s a bad sign for an alleg-
edly pro-capitalist party to start by stealing ideas.” But this raises the ques-
tion, Would it have been better had the libertarians not been influenced by
Rand? From her perspective, yes: it was even worse when ideas were stolen
and then mixed with ideas with which she disagreed.

The rest of the story played out as we might expect. She ended up feel-
ing robbed and looted by everyone who was influenced by her. My own
reading of her biography is that her belief that her ideas were property, led
to her experiencing unnecessary grief. After all, it didn’t have to be this way.
She might have been proud of her role as one of the most influential intel-
lectual forces in the second half of the 20th century.

Lacking a university position and a professorship, she actually managed
to make the whole of the English-speaking world her classroom. But rather
than be thrilled at what she had done, she had the opposite reaction, which
is exactly what one might expect from a deeply flawed conception of intel-
lectual property.

What Rand went through is precisely what these Harvard professors
are going through: deep ambiguity concerning the application of property
rights to their thoughts. Eventually, they will have to come to terms with
it: it is the MIT model, or retirement from teaching, or a lifetime of bitter-
ness. The MIT model is the model of the ancient world and every univer-
sity environment ever since, and it is the only way to deal with a digital soci-
ety in which every thought becomes globalized upon utterance.

Is Intellectual Property
the Key to Success?

July 5, 2007

O ne of the greatest tragedies of intellectual property law is how it
generates intellectual confusion among successful businesspeople.
Many are under the impression, even when it is not true, that they
owe their wealth to copyrights, trademarks, and patents, and not necessarily
to their business savvy.

For this reason, they defend intellectual property as if it were the very
lifeblood of their business operations. They fail to give primary credit where
it is due: to their own ingenuity, willingness to take a risk, and their mar-
ket-based activities generally. This is often an empirically incorrect judg-
ment on their part, and it carries with it the tragedy of crediting the state
for the accomplishments that are actually due to their own entrepreneurial
activities.

Certainly there is no shortage of narratives ready to back up this misirn-
pression. Countless business histories of the U.S. observe how profits come
in the wake of patents, and thereby assume a causal relationship. Under this
assumption, the history of American enterprise is less a story of heroic risk
and reward and more a story of the decisions of patent clerks and copyright
attorneys.

As a result, many people think that the reason the United States grew so
quickly in the 19th century was due to its intellectual property protection,
and they assume that protecting ideas is no different from protecting real
property (which, in fact, is completely different).

A clue to the copyright fallacy should be obvious from wandering
through a typical bookstore chain. You will see racks and racks of classic

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books, presented with beautiful covers, fancy bindings, and in a variety of
sizes and shapes. The texts therein are “public domain,” which isn’t a legal
category as such: it only means the absence of copyright protection.

But they sell. They sell well. And no, the authors are not misidentified
on them. The Bronte sisters are still the authors of Jane Eyre and Wuther-
ing Heights. Victor Hugo still wrote Les Miserahles. Mark Twain wrote lorn
Sawyer. The much-predicted disaster of an anti-IP world is nowhere in
evidence: there are still profits, gains from trade, and credit is given where
credit is due.

Why is this? Quite simply, the bookstore has gone to the trouble of
bringing the book to market. It paid the producer for the book and made an
entrepreneurial decision to take a risk that people will buy it. Sure, anyone
could have done it, but the fact is that not everyone has: the company made
the good available in a manner that suits consumer tastes. In other words,
with enterprise comes success. It is no more or less simple than that. IP has
nothing to do with it.

So it would be in a completely fr ee market, which is to say, a world with-
out IP. But sometimes businessmen themselves get confused.

Let’s consider the case of an ice-cream entrepreneur with a hypotheti-
cal brand name Georgia Cream. The company enjoys some degree of suc-
cess and then decides to trademark its brand name, meaning that it now
enjoys the monopoly on the use of the name Georgia Cream. And let’s say
that the company creates a flavor called Peach Pizzazz, which is a great suc-
cess, so it copyrights the recipe such so that no one can publish it without
tlie company’s permission. It then realizes that the special quality of its ice
cream is due to its mixing technique, so it applies for and recieves a patent
on that.

So this company now has three monopolies all sewn up. Is that enough
to ensure success? Of course not. It must do good business, meaning diat it
must economize, innovate, distribute, and advertise. The company does all
diese things and then goes from success to success.

If you suggest to the founder and CEO that we should get rid of intel-
lectual property law, you will elicit a sense of panic. “That would completely
destroy my business!” How so? “Anyone could just come along and claim
to be Georgia Cream, steal our recipe for Peach Pizzazz, duplicate our mix-
ing technique, and then we’d be sunk.”

Do you see what is happening here? A small change that would not
threaten the very life of the business is indirectly being credited, by implication,

Intellectual Property

125

for being the very life of the business. If that were true, then it would not be
business prowess diat made this company, but government privilege, and that
is emphatically not true in this case. The repeal of intellectual property leg-
islation would do nothing to remove from the business its capacity to create,
innovate, advertise, market, and distribute.

The repeal of IP might create for it an additional cost of doing busi-
ness, namely efforts to ensure that consumers are aware of the difference
between the genuine product and impersonators. This is a cost of business
that every enterprise has to bear. Patents and trademarks have done nothing
to keep Gucci and Prada and Rolex impersonators at bay. But neither have
the impersonators killed the main business. If anything, they might have
helped, since imitation is the best form of flattery.

In any case, the cost associated with keeping an eye on imitators exists
whether IP is legally protected or not. To he sure, some businesses owe
their existing profits to patents, which they then use to beat their competi-
tors over the head. But there are costs involved in this process as well, such
as millions in legal fees.

Big companies spend millions building up war chests of patents that
tlrey use to fight off or forestall lawsuits from other companies, then agree to
back down and cross-license to each other after spending millions on attor-
neys. And no surprise, just as with minimum wage or pro-union legislation,
the IP laws don’t really hurt the larger companies but rather the smaller
businesses, who can’t afford million-dollar patent suit defenses.

The Internet age has taught that it is ultimately impossible to enforce
IP. It is akin to the attempt to ban alcohol or tobacco. It can’t work. It only
succeeds in creating criminality where none really need exist. By grant-
ing exclusive rights to the first firm to jump through the hoops, it ends up
harming rather dian promoting competition.

But some may object that protecting IP is no different from protecting
regular property. That is not so. Real property is scarce. The subjects of IP
are not scarce, as Stephan Kinsella explains. Images, ideas, sounds, arrange-
ments of letters on a page: these can be reproduced infinitely. For that rea-
son, they can’t be considered to he owned.

Merchants are free to attempt to create artificial scarcity, and that is
what happens when a company keeps it codes private or photographers put
watermarks on their images online. Proprietary and “open-source” prod-
ucts can live and prosper side-by-side, as we learn from any drug store that
offers both branded and generic goods inches apart on the shelves.

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But what you are not permitted to do in a free market is use violence
in the attempt to create an artificial scarcity, which is all that IP legislation
really does. Benjamin Tucker said in the 19th century that if you want your
invention to yourself, the only way is to keep it off the market. That remains
true today.

So consider a world without trademark, copyright, or patents. It would
still be a world with innovation — perhaps far more of it. And yes, there would
still he profits due to those who are entrepreneurial. Perhaps there would be
a bit less profit for litigators and IP lawyers — but is this a bad thing?

Books, Online and Off

March 22, 2004

M any people find themselves mystified as to why the Mises Institute
puts books online for free that it is also trying to sell. For exam-
ple, here is Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr.’s Speaking of Liberty. Here
is Hans-Hermann Hoppe’s The Myth of National Defense (which you can
also purchase). And the most accessed of all: Ludwig von Mises’s Human
Action , in many different formats with an interactive index, even as the
offline Scholar’s Edition remains a bestseller on Mises.org.

Below is a detailed account of how we arrived at the policy that as many
books as possible should be made available online and offline — and why we
think it would be a good idea for all publishers to do the same. Of course
Amazon.com has slowly come to this policy as well, and no one watches the
relationship between information and sales as closely. At this point, they are
limited only by a publisher’s reluctance to let go. And here we are speaking
of new books and issues of marketing and sales. The case for making older
volumes fully available for purposes of education is even more obvious.

The point is to expand the market and not assume a fixed number of
consumers. Books online and offline reinforce the viability of each other, just
as movies in theaters boost movies in rental, and free radio helps the market
for CDs for purchase. It takes some thought and entrepreneurial judgement
to understand why, but the history of technological development informs
die case. As one commentator put it on the Mises blog: “Nor did ideas writ-
ten down in scrolls or illuminated manuscripts undermine the teacher/guru.
Nor did knowledge in mass-printed books undermine schools/colleges.”

The topic comes up because two weeks ago the Mises Institute released
Man, Economy, and State, with Power and Market — by far our most time-
consuming and expensive publication project in our 22-year history. At

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$50, this hardbound, 1,550-page treatise on economics is an incredible bar-
gain, but still expensive for any book. At the same time, the Mises Institute
released a page with the full text of the book and Table of Contents in PDF
to accomplish the step-by-step development of the full text in HTML. A
number of readers commented that they believed this policy was generous
but essentially nuts, and helpfully advised us that if we knew what was good
for sales, we would take down this page immediately!!

Rather than take it down, it is our hope that people will put it in their
favorites list and forward it far and wide. As a nonprofit dedicated to get-
ting the word out about Austrian economics, and serving many people in
tire world who are interested in learning, it only makes sense that we pursue
every viable means of doing so. To have the means of providing something
as powerful as this book for free and not do so would amount to deliberately
withholding the product pending payment from people who may or may
not have the means of paying.

That prospect of withholding ideas when it would be easy to make them
available has to make every nonprofit that cares about its mission somewhat
squeamish. There is nothing wrong with making a profit but if that were the
sole purpose and if doing so was financially viable, there would be no point
in the non-profit structure that has existed since the ancient world. (For
more on nonprofits as market institutions, see Rothbard’s “The Myth of
Neutral Taxation”). We gladly offer these texts at no charge simply because
we believe that this is part of our core mission.

If that sounds implausibly high-minded, there are other considerations
at work. There was much confusion in the early days of the web about
whether online viewing would displace books. It didn’t happen. In fact, the
broad development of the web as a vehicle for commercial search and deliv-
ery has actually led to a boom in books sales, both new and used.

Also, experience suggests that online and offline hooks are different
goods that serve different purposes (quick reference versus deep reading;
quote checking versus extended study; etc.). What’s more, these different
purposes are complementary. On and offline books are complements (like
bacon and eggs) not substitutes (like bacon and sausage).

All of this means that one does not necessarily cut into one’s sales by
offering the book online for free. By showing people what is inside the
book, it is possible to increase sales of the offline book. The very existence
of the online version means that the offline version becomes more valuable
because now one can copy and paste quotations, easily refer back to the
passage even when the book is not in hand, or send URLs around to friends

Books, Online and Off

129

or post them on the blog to make points. These days, if a book is not online,
it faces an additional hurdle that it otherwise would not face (not substitutes
or complements but tied goods, like piano strings and keys).

Here is a case in point. For some years, Misesians have worried about
the status of Mises’s wonderful book Omnipotent Government (1944). It
was the first and still remains the most masterful study of the economics and
politics of German National Socialism, perhaps the most anti-Nazi hook
published in its time. It demonstrates that the Nazi ideology was a species
of orthodox socialist theory, and thereby corrects one of the most pervasive
political errors of our time (that Nazism and Communism represent oppo-
site ends of an ideological continuum.).

In any case, the point is that the book has long deserved far more atten-
tion than it has received. When it first appeared in 1944, from Yale Univer-
sity Press, reviewers saw it as a classic and expected it to have a huge impact.
But many on the left and right had every reason to make sure Mises’s book
did not achieve a wider readership. For years, we’ve wanted to do some-
thing to correct for this.

Meanwhile, however, the current publisher would not allow the text to
be put online through the Mises Institute. Many of Mises’s hooks have been
online and, as a result, were being referred to and quoted and discussed
(and purchased) as never before. But not Omnipotent Government. It was
not getting the attention it deserved, and, indeed, faced the prospect of for-
ever living in the shadows of those books that are online.

After three years of letters, emails, and phone calls, we finally persuaded
tire publisher to let us go ahead, but we could only do so on the condition
that we compensate the publisher in advance for all the lost sales they were
sure that they would absorb. Their attitude is somewhat understandable.
They figured: why would anyone buy the book now that it is being given
away for free? They demanded an upfront payment. And so we paid, essen-
tially leasing the book from the publisher. And, after lots of formatting and
proofing work, we put it online here.

What happened was precisely the reverse of what the publisher
expected. Instead of lost sales, the sales of the book shot up. In the few
weeks since the text went online, more copies of this book left our ware-
house than during the whole of the last decade. Omnipotent Government is
now a top seller in the Mises.org catalog. The publisher not only obtained
tire leasing fee from our offices but suddenly enjoyed a flood of new orders
for the book from us.

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Most gratifying is how quickly ideas are disseminated in these times.
Already commentators and bloggers have noted the parallel between the
modern protectionist argument about outsourcing and the same arguments
made by Nazi protectionists in the 1930s — citing Mises’s study in particular.
In only two weeks of being made available, the book and its arguments went
from being invisible to being part of die circulating body of ideas that animate
public debate. This experience illustrates the point very nicely that those
who cling to copyright as a way of denying people knowledge are just wrong.

The same events repeated themselves with Mises’s book Bureaucracy.
Here is a book that offers a tremendously revealing analytical framework for
understanding the public sector. Mises explains why government is inef-
ficient, why it never seems to have enough money, why budget cuts seem
arbitrary, and why there is no real way to know whether government is
doing anything socially valuable or not. His analysis applies whether the
bureaucrats in question are public-spirited or not. It is a very powerful work
and yet it has long been obscured by the public-choice school’s insights on
tire public sector — which, however valid, are not as foundational as Mises’s.

In any case, the book no longer lives in obscurity. It can again be part
of the living debate of our times. Why isn’t the case for making these texts
available more obvious? Part of the error at work here is having an unneces-
sarily restricted view of the potential market for these books. If you believe
that they are bought only by a small group of libertarians or Misesians
whom you have known from various conferences in the past, or you believe
that the number of Misesians will always be restricted to a tiny remnant,
you might believe that you must configure offerings in a way that somehow
traps these people into purchasing a product.

But when you realize that the market for libertarian/Misesian books has
been vastly underestimated and artificially restricted due to technological
considerations, it is easy to see that an online text does great good on its
own as an educational tool. The market for Misesian theory, delivered via
whatever means one can conjure up, is not fixed but rather potentially enor-
mous: it is just a matter of getting the word out.

We are hard at work doing this to other Mises texts as well, and put-
ting up as many books as we can manage on a daily and weekly basis: Lud-
wig von Mises, Murray N. Rothbard, Frank Fetter, Fritz Machlup, Frank
Chodorov, George Reisman, Hans-Hermann Hoppe, David Gordon,
among many others. When possible, we like to offer full text, and a search-
able and copyable PDF (which means more than just pumping the text
through a scanner). Of course time and resources constrain us; making a

Books, Online and Off

131

searchable PDF is not a snap. A quality HTML, driven by a database, takes
even more time — and money to pay for server space.

In any case, we try to make texts available whether the book was pub-
lished yesterday or whether it is long out of print, and insofar as rights hold-
ers cooperate. This strategy makes sense to us both in terms of our educa-
tional obligations as well as our fiduciary responsibilities: doing good and
doing well (or at least not going broke tomorrow). As with all exchanges
undertaken on a voluntary basis, everyone wins.

Mises.org in the Context of
Publishing History

October 26, 2009

[This speech was given on October 24, 2009, at the Birthplace of Eco-
nomic Theory conference in Salamanca, Spain.]

S tandup comedian Louis C.K. has a routine called “everything’s amaz-
ing, nobody’s happy.” The gag has people on an airplane, sitting on
comfy chairs and flying through clouds. They are complaining that
the wireless connection is too slow.

There is truth here. Capitalism has made everything amazing, and yet
everyone these days seems to hate capitalism.

Let’s leave aside the problem that it takes economic understanding to
see cause and effect. There is a more general tendency to take whatever
material goods surround us as something granted by fate, our own personal
state of nature, and a human right that is ours by a grant of justice. We fail
to see our current wealth for what it is: a historical contingency that came
about through the sweat and toil of generations that preceded us.

Its permanence is presumed. The goods are ours to redistribute by
force if necessary. The services and the tools they require belong not to
individuals but to all, so they can be taxed at will. Nothing can harm them
or reduce their number.

I fear that the same is true with publishing. Lor only 500 years have
books been copied by machines, after several millennia in which hand-
work was the only way to spread the written word. Lor only 150 years have
books been available to all classes of society. Every innovation in publishing
has meant greater distribution at ever-lower prices, culminating in today’s

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print-on-demand methods and universal access. Digital methods have set
the written word free as never before.

Kids today ask their parents, Were you born before the internet? They
are vaguely aware that there was life before the web, but they conglomerate
it with the days before automobiles and running water. There is something
to this. The advent of digital media has meant a complete revolution in pub-
lishing, which makes Johannes Gutenberg’s movable type appear as a mere
stage of progress.

And yet, do we appreciate what this means for us? I don’t think we do,
not frilly. And I worry that, failing to appreciate this, liberals in the Misesian
tradition will not fully comprehend what it means to push the literature of
our tradition into digital form.

If we could understand this meaning, we would be far more optimistic
about the future, provided only that we believe in the power of ideas. So I
would like to take a step back and have a look at the role of digital media in
tlie history of publication generally.

Looking at the sweep of publishing history, the goal of all innovation
has been the same:

• Lower the cost

• Widen the distribution

• Make the result permanent

There is no success for anyone who attempts to resist these three moti-
vating forces.

There were sometimes tradeoffs between the goals. For example, the
early scribes chose parchment over papyrus. Papyrus was less expensive,
but parchment was seen as more durable and therefore the scribes’ work
would be preserved.

The work of a scribe was largely unchanged from the beginning of
recorded history to the middle of the 15 th century. The scribe in a monas-
tery such as Salamanca would work every day for up to 8 hours, breaking
for Psalm singing and Mass, and working with a whole team of other spe-
cialists in graphics and ink to produce perhaps one book per year.

Until this point in history, it might have been easy to believe that the
book and all that it represents fell within the economic classification of a
scarce good. This is to say that by its nature, a book cannot satisfy existing
demand, must be rationed by price, and is radically finite, capable of being
duplicated only with time and sweat.

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It might have heen easy to conflate the work that went into making the
book, and the physical properties of the hook, with the message and the
signs in the hook itself. In fact, these are really two different things, and all
of the progress since has worked to delineate the difference between what is
scarce by its nature (paper, binding, time) versus what is potentially capable
of infinite duplication (the ideas and formulations in the book itself).

It was out of the institution of the scribe that the invention of printing
came; not all at once, but over the hundred years preceding movable type,
using leather and wood cuts and a variety of other techniques. The innova-
tions began in monasteries. But with commercial printing came the most
remarkable thing of all, a phenomenon that took hooks out of their scarce
state toward their potential of being a completely nonscarce good. That
phenomenon is known as the mechanized copy.

We can understand this by reference to the parable of the loaves and
fishes. An apostle attending a sermon by Jesus had brought only enough
food for himself. When the crowd became hungry, Jesus was able to copy
his lunch infinitely and feed the entire multitude. The Gospels are careful to
add that there was still more left over at the end.

This is precisely what printing made possible. The work on the ideas
and the preparation of the first manuscript required time and labor on a
scale few of us can even imagine today. But once the tools for printing were
in place, an approximate copy of the original could be made.

Aside from paper and machines, there was nothing that limited the
number of copies that could be made. The text itself was a nonscarce thing.
To realize the unlimited potential of print became the dream of anyone with
an idea to spread, whether it was in philosophy, music, law, or theology.

When movable-type printing appeared with the Mainz Psalter in 1457,
it seemed that the institution of the scribe would be no more, and monks all
over Europe debated what to do. On the one hand, the religious communi-
ties had the strongest interest in printing advances. On the other hand, the
class of professional scribes associated with monasteries of course opposed
tire advance, in order to protect the high status of their specialized services.

After the development of printing, and then movable type, German
abbot Johannes Trithemius exhorted his monks to continue to copy books.
He claimed that printing had a shorter life, and that the automated printing
technique denied monks the discipline associated with hand scribing. He
worried too that the monks would have idle hands if printing became more
fashionable.

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But this concern didn’t last longer than a few decades. By the late 15th
century, the printing houses were working almost exclusively for monaster-
ies, and monasteries themselves had established printing houses. Far from
having taken away work for the monks, it became obvious that the new tool
made their work more efficient. Their work could be made ever more valu-
able. The works of Trithemius himself, on a variety of topics, would eventu-
ally be printed in many editions.

Movable type made possible an unprecedented explosion in literary
works. Michael Clapham says in his three-volume work on the history of
printing technology,

A man horn in 1453, the year of the fall of Constantinople,
could look back from his fiftieth year on a lifetime in which
about eight million books had been printed, more perhaps
than all the scribes of Europe had produced since Con-
stantine founded his city in A.D. 336.

Other experts suggest that Gutenberg’s commercial innovations led to
an increase of book production by a factor of a thousand. About 115 books
are attributed to the early movable-type printers. About 30,000 editions are
attr ibuted to the later half of the 15 th century.

This increase is astonishing by the standards of the time but it is a blip
on the screen in ours. After all, looking at Mises.org data, we can estimate to
have sent some 100 million editions of our articles and books flying around
tire world. And keep in mind that this measures only the work of our serv-
ers, and doesn’t include the thousands of servers around the world that host
versions of our content.

Since we are in Spain, I would like to say a few words about the printing
entrepreneurs from this country’s 16th century. Their role in pushing his-
tory forward is not noted often enough.

Lambert Palmart (1440-1493) was the first printer in Spain. He
worked from Valencia, the headquarters of commerce. He printed some 15
books in his career, which was an incredible accomplishment, the first in
1475. In Saragossa, there was also Matthew of Flanders, who printed four
additional books. Seville was the third most prominent city for the expan-
sion of printing in Spain. Here lived Antonio Martinez, Alonso del Puerto,
and Bartolomme Segura, all of whom printed throughout the 1480s.

Tortosa was home to what became a vibrant and organized printing
firm, which printed frilly 28 books by 1500. Burgos was host to the film of
Frederick of Basel who was in business with Michael Wenssler, and they

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137

made 35 books. Another addition to the list of Spanish printing heroes is
Arnaldo Guillen de Brocar, one of many so-called wandering printers who
set up shop at Logrono, Alcala, and Valladolid. He, like the others, printed
mainly Bibles and theological works.

Finally, our list would not be complete without mention of John and
Jacob Kromberger, who set up shop in Seville with some partners and local
workers and eventually came to print some 239 books of theology, law, med-
icine, and music. It was this firm that printed missionary tracts in Spanish
to be sent to the New World, and Mexico in particular. They did even more
than that: in 1539, they put together a full printing outfit and sent it directly
to Mexico, where it printed eight books. This was the first printing press to
appear in the New World.

So on behalf of the New World, I say thank you to Spain not only for
tire economic thought that made free enterprise thrive in the Western hemi-
sphere but also for the first printing press to ever come to our shores.

For anyone in love with free markets, the 16th and 17th centuries was
a time to witness that wonderful beauty of ordered production. New capi-
tal combined with new skills to bring the world more of what it needed and
wanted. The rush into the book market by printers of all shapes and sizes,
and in all countries of Europe, was a wonderful tiring to behold.

But there was a threat on the horizon: mercantilism, tire theory that pro-
ducers needed special protection by government in order to remain healthy
in an atmosphere of extreme competitive pressure. Producers were begin-
ning to discover then what every business knows today: namely, that one
aspect of free enterprise is that it denies long-run profits to producers.

The market process is always driving profits to zero, as profitable com-
panies are imitated by innovative upstarts using cheaper and more efficient
methods. Society benefits from this process, but in order for an established
firm to stay on top, it can never stop innovating and striving for excellence.

The answer to this reality in many trades was to seek government pro-
tection from competition abroad and to ask favors from the prince to be
tire only and favored producer. This served both as a guarantee that people
would continue to be provided with the goods and services they needed,
and as a guarantee that the producer would be protected against the distrac-
tion of competitive pressure from others. That’s the theory and practice of
mercantilism, and it’s a perfect recipe for hobbling progress.

Just as the printers had driven the sciibes out of business, the print-
ers were facing extreme competition by the 18th century. They sought

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protection from more efficient upstarts, often called pirates, who were mak-
ing life hard for this very profitable industry.

These pirate firms were publishing older works and distributing them
very cheaply and widely. The dominant firms claimed that this practice
was undermining their ability to fund new works and was thus inhibiting
innovation.

The established printers tapped into the mercantilist spirit, but with
a special twist. They claimed that words on the page constituted a special
form of property. When they were copied by a firm other than the current
publisher, they claimed, their property rights were being invaded. Their
“intellectual property” was being stolen.

Now, on its face, this is a preposterous claim. Once ideas are known by
others, they are copied. They cannot he owned in the conventional sense.
Another way of putting this is that the ownership of the ideas becomes mul-
tiplied without end. The only way to possess an idea as exclusive property
is to never share it with another person. Once shared, the idea takes flight.

What's more, the entire industry had been born in the world of copying,
not in making original work. Most famously, the most profitable text to pub-
lish was the Bible itself and its most ancient transcriptions and translations.
In fact, this had been the driving motivation of the invention of the press in
tire beginning, just as it had been the driving motivation of the scribes.

For this reason, it is crucial to understand the appearance of copyright
as nothing other than an aspect of the mercantilist principle. The claims
about “intellectual property” were nothing but a ruse offered up by printers
as a way of seeking legal protection from competition.

On the Continent, no one bought into this gibberish, seeing it for
exactly what it was: a sop to producers, which would have inhibited the
whole engine of publishing from the ancient world to the present. They
saw that copyright does the opposite of the long-established goals. It raises
costs. It limits distribution. And it dooms works to a short life, given the
uncertainties of the industry.

This was a terrible direction to go, and in only one place in the world
did it take hold: England, which was undergoing a terrible religious strug-
gle. Copyright became useful to the crown in order to suppress works
incompatible with the official religion, whatever it happened to be at the
time. And so in the 18 th century, there were endless fights in England over
this matter.

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139

Meanwhile, on the Continent, publishing remained competitive and
free for the hundred years after the first copyright statute was imposed on
England. Even given England’s laws, copyright statutes were largely inef-
fective at hobbling the market process until the imposition of international
copyright law in the late 19th century. Laws have grown tighter and tighter
in die 20th century, until we have reached the point of absurdity since 1 995
in the United States, with laws that have pretty well doomed a half century
of scholarship to ruin.

If you leave the state and state-protected industries in charge long
enough, they will strangle progress to the point that civilization completely
stagnates. In the publishing industry, digital media couldn’t have come at a
better time. It is saving what the state and the dominant publishers are try-
ing to kill.

The web and digital media are to the establishment what the print-
ers were to the sciibes, and what the pamphleteers were to the established
book makers. Digital media threatens what they believe to be the core of
their existence right now — namely the restriction of what should be com-
pletely free, and the imposition of scarcities on what should really should be
nonscarce.

Let us return now to the three principles that drive progress in publish-
ing: low costs, wide distribution, permanent results. The web has achieved
all three in the most spectacular way. The marginal cost of downloads is
approaching zero. The access is approaching universal. The capacity for
copying is infinite. And the results are everlasting.

As you know, the Mises Institute is furiously posting as many works in
tire Austroliberal tradition as we can scan, and we are working at a pace and
with a discipline that is on the order of the older scribes. Our entire litera-
ture archive is completely open-source, meaning that anyone in the world is
free to simultaneously host our results. These editions are like fire. A spark
can create a roaring blaze stretching hundreds of miles. This is the power of
digital media. It has achieved the dream of every publishing innovation in
all of human history.

When a new edition goes up on Mises.org, even before it is pub-
licly linked, it is sent out via torrent to servers worldwide and immedi-
ately achieves immortality. It is archived on the site, and thus available to
researchers and students all over the world. We have thousands of works
available and the number grows daily. We are limited right now by copy-
right restrictions, but these are being chipped away steadily, and we push
die envelope as far as we can.

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One of the works that had been copied for hundreds of years, both
before and after the printing press, was the Etymologiae, by the 7tli-century,
Spanish archbishop St. Isidore of Seville. The book summarized all knowl-
edge up to the time it was written, including that of the ancient philoso-
phers, and it somehow still had great notoriety in the 15th century.

Many of the Spanish printers of the 15th and 16th centuries busily
printed Isidore of Seville’s works. He not only was a brilliant intellectual;
he had a passion for two great tasks: the preservation of knowledge through
writing and the spreading of knowledge through copying and distribution.
It is for this reason that St. Isidore was proposed as the patron saint of the
Internet.

I think too of Mises himself, who labored for the six years between 1934
and 1940 to write Human Action , only to have it published in German in
Geneva and have it vanish down a memory hole in the midst of ghastly war
and global upheaval. He emigrated to the United States, where he started
over again with an English translation, which was published in 1949 after
much internal debate at Yale University Press.

After we became conscious of the power of the web, Human Action was
our first giant project. Now we have it out in epub format, in which it can
he downloaded an infinite number of times and fly around the planet at the
speed of light. Seventy years ago, this work had a very unpromising start.
It is now immortal. May we someday say the same of human liberty itself.
With Mises.org and its supporters around the world, I do think that day
will eventually come.

The Myth of the Cell-Phone
Addiction

June 17,2005

P undits and bloggers are addicted to decrying the supposed cell-phone
addiction of Americans. Calls for government to do something about
it can’t be far behind, especially considering the other claims that
cell phones give us tumors, gut our memories, and jackhammer our brains.
There are even reports of second-hand damage from others’ cell phone use.

These articles go beyond merely claiming that cell phones are annoy-
ing — and truly people could learn some manners here, as in many other
aspects of life. As regards this supposed “addiction,” this is a word attached
to any habitual behaviors of others we do not like.

What’s interesting here are those who offer something like a Marx-
ian-style critique of cell-phone use. We are alienated from society, we are
told, and obviously tormented by loneliness, and thereby seek solidarity
and community. But rather than seek out genuine connection to others, we
reach for technology, the very thing that alienated us to begin with. We grow
ever more dependent on our gizmos but they ultimately disappoint because
they only cause addiction to machines and thereby increase alienation.

Also, we the oppressed long for empowerment and the ego-boost gen-
erated by the sense of importance granted by the idea of receiving and send-
ing cell-phone calls. We can’t stop using our cell-phones and yet they only
further entangle us in an artificial world of machines created via the money
matrix.

Ohjust look at the cell-phone people everywhere! Surely this is the final
stage of capitalism in which we ignore our brothers and sisters walking next

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to us but instead talk through electronic means to some distant party. And
talk about what? About nothing: “It’s, like, so cool to be on the phone!”

You can make this sort of critique up about anything, pepper the essay
with references to Freud, Marx, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, and, to stay in
good with conservatives, the insufferable T.S. Eliot, finish it off with a hymn
to primitivism — even a wish to return to the Garden of Eden without the
taint of technological sin — and you have a winning piece of commentary.

It’s all nonsense.

There is plenty wrong with this genre of criticism, as Tibor Machan
points out (he found someone who regretted the invention of the mirror!).
But let us address the cell phone in particular, because many people seem to
have bought into the idea that it represents some sort of grave danger to the
culture and an ominous sign of something or other.

Of course property owners are free to ban them or not. Burger King
wouldn’t, but a five-star restaurant probably would. Whatever is profitable.
Private property solves whatever “problems” arise, but these are not any
different from other problems of what dress, speech, and behavior is right
for the time and place. Certainly there is no reason to ban cell phones on
flights, as the FCC is considering; leave it up to enterprise itself to decide.

The critics, however, are not satisfied. They say cell phone addiction is
a broader concern. To be sure, it’s easy to defend the cell phone on grounds
of its emergency services. With cell phones, people have never felt more
safe and secure when driving or being out and about in potentially danger-
ous places. The critics will concede that. What drives them nuts is casual
use, tire whole middle-class casual culture of the cell phone, which seems to
them wholly disgusting.

And yet it is the casual use of technology that makes its emergency use
ever more economically viable. It is the demand for gab that has driven up
tire number of providers, driven down the prices, and made amazing tech-
nologies available to all, which then provides the spill-over benefit of mak-
ing the emergency use of the same technology affordable and ubiquitous.
A market of emergency-only cell service would not have become the mass
phenom that it is today.

The appearance of addiction reflects a change in the use of public space
made possibly by a new technology that was born into the marketplace only
in 1994. Ten years ago, talking on the phone was a behavior that was tied to
place, namely the home or the work station. Or there was the now-anachro-
nistic phone booth.

The Myth of the Cell-Phone Addiction

143

In retrospect, it is obvious that a vast amount of productivity was being
wasted by the requirement that we be strapped to a chair, or a room in our
homes, or in a glass booth, in order to keep up with work duties, friends,
and family.

Suddenly and almost like magic that changed. The cell phone made it
possible to speak to anyone anywhere from any place. Think of it: what a
dramatic transformation. For the first time in the history of everything, any-
one can have direct personal contact with anyone anytime.

No more hiding out in the home, whiling away the hours with friends,
or at the office, which used to be all about the phone but which is now all
about email and instant messaging. Professional and personal uses of phone
calls can take place anywhere. We can bluetooth our way through all infor-
mal life settings and get the most out of every minute.

Not only that: it seems obvious in retrospect that audio communica-
tions are an individual and not a community affair. When the telephone
first came along, you had to walk to the post office or town market to use it.
What a pain. Then there were lines shared by several homes. How tedious!
Then there was one phone per household — owned and maintained by the
government. Please!

The ability to completely privatize audible communication had been
possessed by the private sector since at least 1947, but the government
hogged too much of the radio spectrum to make it possible. It wasn’t until
1994 that the government deigned to provide private enterprise what it
needed to create a revolution in communication.

For this reason it is useful to think of the cell phone as a freedom tech-
nology along the lines of the world wide web. Both were developed by the
private sector for the private sector. Both represent institutional revolts
against the state’s presumption to own and control the “command posts”
of society. Cells and the web are the mode and means of liberation that the
state will forever resent.

But back to the supposed addiction we all have. We are only making the
best use of our time. What better time to talk on the phone than when other
tasks are prohibited to us? You can turn driving into a multitasked opera-
tion. Same with walking to and from places. So too with shopping at the
mall. These are the very times to pull out the cell phone, not as an addic-
tion but as a means of making the most productive use of a period of time. It
is a simple matter of economizing, that is, directing resources toward their
highest-valued use.

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But because our eyes see something new, something we haven’t been
socialized to expect, and because the market is expanding and democratiz-
ing so rapidly, it creates the illusion of something having gone oddly wrong.
Instead of seeking to understand it, the temptation is to reach into pop cul-
ture’s bag of ideological bromides and decry it as some sort of pathology.

The oddity of public phone use first dawned on the academic class sev-
eral years ago when they would walk through campus and see throngs of
students yammering away on the phone. Cell-phone addiction! Can these
kids unplug themselves even for a minute to enjoy the scenery or talk to real
people? Why should they be so very interested in their pathetic little mate-
rialist existence even after all the assigned readings from Veblen, Marx, and
Derrida?

We need to realize something: these kids are walking to and from classes
in which they must sit and listen and take notes for an hour or two. They
are headed to another class where they will do the same. Or they might be
headed to a library study session. Or they might be headed to the pool to
meet friends.

In any of these cases, a phone call is not possible or desirable. But trav-
eling from one spot to another? Shopping? Driving? It’s just the time to
call, even if only to leave a message.

Now, you might respond that these kids are not actually saying any-
thing useful. They are engaged in conversational junk, punctuated by
grunts of nothing. Well, productivity is a subjective concept. Meeting social
obligations, making another person feel connected, letting someone know
you care — these are all productive activities as understood by the indi-
vidual speaking. Who are we to say what constitutes valuable or valueless
conversations?

The pundit class has a penchant for judging the culture of freedom
harshly. If, ten years ago, these same critics had walked up and down the
block peering into people’s windows, they might have spied people on the
phone in every home. They might have decried this as a phone addiction
but nobody would have taken them seriously. In fact, the response would
have been readily at hand: mind your own business, bud, and get a life.

Actually that’s not a bad response to most everything that comes
out of the carping class of intellectuals who try to make us feel guilty and
oppressed for using products that improve our lot in life. Modern technol-
ogy has us all talking to each other again. That can’t be a bad thing.

Another Central Plan Fails

December 3 1 , 2002

F or at least two decades, the conservative wing of education experts
has touted one magic bullet (apart from vouchers): high-stakes test-
ing. The idea is to subject students (and teachers too) to a standard-
ized test that would create incentives to learn the basics, compel curricu-
lum committees to toss out the fluff, yield reliable data for assessing per-
formance, and inspire students and teachers to keep their noses to the
grindstone.

In state after state for the last ten years, these tests have become the
leading avenue for education reform. The trend began in Texas and spread.
Now millions of students begin their first day of classes with a profound
awareness of tire impending make-or-break tests, to be taken at regular inter-
vals from the first to the twelfth grade. On the face of it, it seemed to work.
Curriculum committees threw up their arms in despair, teachers started
teaching math and stopped teaching so much fluff, and everyone had a sud-
den sense of accountability.

A conservative victory? The Bush administration thinks so, which
is why it is working toward the supposed dream of a national testing sys-
tem. New data, officials say, can be generated that allow for a comparison
between states, build proof of success, and otherwise allow for a better
national system of education. The “No Child Left Behind” legislation uses
carrots and sticks to impose high-stakes testing on states that do not cur-
rently use the system.

While the plan seemed sound on the face of it, the reformers forgot
one thing: we are dealing with public school, which lacks any real means
of operating in a sound economic (which is to say resourceful and ratio-
nal) manner. Think of it this way. Let’s say that Soviet grain production had

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been down for 3 years straight and some clique came up with the idea that
the workers and managers needed clearer rules for daily operations. The
plan may look good on paper, but in the end it doesn’t address the underly-
ing problem: the fact of central planning itself.

Central planning has several universal features. It is coercive. It bypasses
tire needs of the consumers for the sake of politics. It relies on edicts which
may or may not reflect reality. It does not take advantage of the price system,
profit, or loss. It is impervious to change. It ignores local conditions. It does
not permit flexibility according to circumstance. It robs those who know
tire most of the ability of make decisions and innovate. It creates incentives
to obey the plan but diverts attention from the real goal, whatever it may be
(and it may be the wrong goal). It ends up overutilizing material resources,
underutilizing human ones, and not generating tire intended results.

All of these features have doomed the testing movement, at least if
you take seriously the results of a new study from Arizona State Univer-
sity (http://www.asu.edu/educ/epsl/EPRU/epru_2002_Research_Writing.
htm), the first to examine the issue nationally. The researchers have found
an inverse relationship between the ability to pass the tests and the scores
on independent assessment tools like the SAT and ACT. The latter come
up with a measure of the student’s mastery of the ability to think and solve
problems. The school exams, on the other hand, only measure whether stu-
dents have mastered the material on tire tests, which are not thought-based
but curriculum based.

It turns out that even as students have shown consistent improvement
on state tests, the opposite is true with regard to performance on outside
tests. After adopting these exams, twice as many states slipped against the
national average on the SAT and ACT as gained on it. This turns out to be
true across the board, even on math scores (with the exception of middle-
school math). And the trend on Advanced Placement tests was also worse
in states that had adopted tests.

What’s the story? Well, the tests themselves have become the curric-
ulum. That’s all that teachers focus on, and they do so at the expense of
teaching valuable learning and thinking skills. The one goal of passing the
tests has replaced the goal of producing good thinkers, students, learners.
The students are being trained narrowly (the school tests measure that) but
not broadly (as is shown by SAT/ACT data) and hence the whole point of
education is being lost.

Just as strikingly, the study also found an increase in drop-out rates. In
fact, it is likely that the study underestimates drop-out rates because it relied

Another Central Plan Fails

147

exclusively on reported data, while most everyone agrees that there are
more drop outs than are typically reported. Now, the conservative response
to this bit of news might be: good! If a student isn’t there to learn, better that
he leave the classroom and cease to hold back those who do want to learn.
And, in some way, there’s a valid point here.

Yet, I think back to the story once told to me by former Soviet econo-
mist Yuri Maltsev. When the Soviet government became alarmed at the high
death rate in hospitals, an edict was issued Horn Moscow that gave a quota
on the number of people who could die under official care. The result was
hospitals hurling people on their deathbeds out the front door and down
tire steps to die. They complied with the plan but missed the larger point.

Something similar may be happening with the high dropout rates.
Teachers and administrators are probably encouraging failing students to
leave school rather than drag down the aggregate numbers. One public
school teacher revealed to me her tactic for dealing with the mandatory 90
percent pass rate. When she enters a class of 30, she identifies the three stu-
dents she can ignore and otherwise write off as obvious failures. Now, this is
not a cruel woman, just a person who knows what’s necessary to survive in
tire new environment. She said all her colleagues do the same.

So while the results seem at first counterintuitive — how can testing lead
to lower scores and more failures? — when you think about it, the results
make perfect sense. Students are being run through a cruel gauntlet of nar-
row examinations produced by the politicians, while teachers are robbed
of the ability to deal with the students as individual learners. This system
might appear fine for the average student but the data can be deceptive.
High-end and low-end learners are being neglected and those who ostensi-
bly benefit are only given the tools necessary to master exams.

How do conservatives respond? They first point out that a lead
researcher in the study, David Berliner, is a critic of school vouchers, and
that the study was underwritten by an affiliate of the National Education
Association, which opposes do-or-die tests. In other words, they are saying
tire people opposing this central plan are partisans of another central plan.

Granted. But what about the substance of the results? Chester Finn,
an education official under Reagan, had this to say to the New York Times :
“You almost never have a pure cause-and-effect relationship. Yes, you’re
introducing high-stakes tests, but maybe you’re also changing the way
you license teachers, or extending the school day, or changing textbooks.
There’s always a lot of things going on concurrently, so you really cannot
peg everything to the high-stakes tests.”

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Aside from observing that his critique applies to all social-science
research, which always and everywhere involves human volition and infi-
nite variables, Finn’s argument misses the point. The case for the tests was
in part driven by the desire to be able to measure results in precisely the way
the Arizona study has done. If you live by the data sword, you have to be
willing to die by it too, and it is hard to argue against the reality that the new
data has produced some very deep cuts.

Most compelling about the study is how it comports with anecdotal
evidence. Teachers and students these days are obsessed with the tests, way
beyond anything that anyone over the age of 30 knows anything about. The
basics — reading, writing, math, science — are hammered home like never
before. Preparation for tests has become the sum total of all public-school
education. Advanced students are bored out of their minds, while weak stu-
dents are relentlessly frustrated. Teachers wonder why they spent so much
time learning how to teach, when all they end up doing is drilling for exams.

This new system is unsustainable, especially now that it turns out that
die results produce the opposite of what it intended. Now, that is not to say
that the alternative of left-liberal education policies — with no tests and no
focus on basics or accountability — is the answer. The problem with educa-
tion is more fundamental: it is run according to a central plan, so it has all
die classic failures of central planning, including vast expense, vast waste of
material and human resources, and results that are always disappointing.

The whole subject of education and the institutions that support it
needs to be rethought, away from the still-surviving Deweyite-Progressiv-
ist model and toward the ancient tradition of private tutoring now being
revived in homeschools across America. All schools can learn from the
experience of homeschools, with their attention to individual needs, the
flexibility that allows students to develop in unique ways, their privately
run and funded character, their employment of localized knowledge and
resources. These are the elements that make for good institutions of all
sorts, whether it is commercial businesses, charities, civic institutions, or
schools.

In short, the answer is not to adopt yet anodier central plan. It is to dis-
empower the planners altogether, and restore decision-making power back
to the parents, the teachers they employ, and the students. Testing and bet-
ter data will not save education in America. A wholesale repudiation of all
educational centralized planning will.

Department of Computer Security?

It's a Joke

January 20, 2006

I f you want to make a geek laugh derisively, suggest that responsibility for
computer security be turned over to the government. This reaction is
guaranteed, regardless of ideology. Everyone knows that this is not pos-
sible, but rarely are the implications for political economy noted.

Now, keep in mind that geeks know that producing fabulous looking
and acting things for the web is only part of the job. These are people who
spend a fantastic amount of time dealing with security issues, which change
every season, day, hour, and even minute.

People know about viruses. Spyware and adware, meanwhile, are
incredible threats to people’s home computers. A new computer can be
slowed to a crawl in a few days of quick browsing without good security
against hijackings. And a huge industry has sprung up promising solutions,
some good and some almost as dangerous as the thing they allegedly stop.
Some of these are free, and some quite expensive, and the typical geek must
work to discover what’s what.

Other threats are less well known, such as the possibility that your own
computer can be hijacked and controlled by other people who want to use
it to store hies or scan for other hijackable ports. This is mainly a threat
faced by servers running large websites — huge magnets for hijackings and
hacks — hut it even affects home computers.

For example: I was recently talking to a technical administrator of a
prestigious host of thousands of servers. He was amazed by the number of
root-level compromises that had been taking place in recent months. The

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possible holes in people’s systems are without limit. Software must be con-
stantly upgraded. Even one small mistake can lead to data loss and disaster.

He tried a little experiment. He installed a new operating system on a
new laptop, and disabled the firewall. He then hooked it up to a non-secure
wireless network in an urban area. The first attack came in six minutes.
In 12 minutes, the computer had already been hacked and was under the
control of somebody or something else. All data on the computer was ren-
dered vulnerable, available for looting or selling. In a few minutes more, it
would have become a work station for more port scanning, denial-of-service
attacks, or some other menacing behavior, and been added to the empire of
servers being controlled by some of the world’s smartest criminal minds.

Not that a good firewall and secure connection are infallible solutions.
There is always a way in for someone with high-level skills and the will to
take tire risk. To keep threats away involves the technical equivalent of street
fights between hackers and security professionals.

The fighters have similar skills; it’s just that one group wears the black
hats and one wears white hats. Some are criminals, some are saviors. The
battle never stops. And yes, some of them change hats depending on their
career prospects. The fight involves deploying skills that are far beyond
what most any normal person could conceive of possessing. They can run
circles around most computer science professors and even run-of-the-mill
webmasters.

Some will rant and rave against the security holes in proprietary prod-
ucts such as those offered by Microsoft. And users of Internet Explorer
would be likely to agree. The thing hasn’t been properly updated in many
years. It has not kept pace with the times, and so attracts web-based evil like
a landfill attracts flies. Other products, however, are different. Server-level
software is constantly monitored for holes, with updates sent out automati-
cally and often (though not always as often as the people might like).

Still, open-source advocates say that this proprietary stuff is expensive
and dangerous. The companies don’t respond soon enough to threats, and
no one but company employees can view the underlying code. That means
that improvements come more slowly. With open source, the world com-
munity of programmers have access and work constantly to improve the
product. To be sure, hackers too have access to the same code. So here too
you have a battle between good and evil.

Among the good guys, there is a debate: should software holes be
announced publicly (full disclosure) in the hope that the firms that work
on open source will fix it before the hackers find out? But between the

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151

announcement and the fix, there is a gap that hackers can exploit. Perhaps,
then, tire hole should only be revealed to the firm or individuals who man-
age the open-source product (limited disclosure). The downside here is
that the people responsible will lack the frantic sense of urgency that gen-
erates a quick hot-fix. Geeks thrive in emergencies, while non-emergencies
fail to inspire.

So the debate over security rages furiously: open source or proprietary
code, public security announcements or quiet revelations, development or
risk? At any one time, all solutions are being used, with bulletin boards fill-
ing up thousands and thousands of pages of debate based on experience.
Ideology can play a part here but, in the end, it comes down to what works
best. And all the while, the war continues, pushed onward by the relentless
pace of development and progress towards better living standards.

We haven’t even touched on the war between the virus makers and
the virus killers. The competition here is also intense. When a new virus
is unleashed, the first firm to produce the fix wins new levels of consumer
devotion and attention. A nothing company can become the next big thing
by producing a fix for two or three viruses in a row, and doing it before the
established firms get there. An established firm can lose its market edge in
a month by failing to update its virus definitions in time. The difference
between winners and losers in this struggle comes down to minutes, not
days or weeks.

In this never-ending struggle, there are always tradeoffs between the
pace of development and its security lisks. No software is perfect. They all
have bugs. But people demand development. The market never rests. We
must all take some risk. How much is acceptable?

Competition prevails here too. A bad choice in favor of security over
development can leave a company eating other companies’ dust. A bad
choice in favor of development over security can lead to bankruptcy in the
face of a high-stakes security compromise. Geek personalities reflect this
trade-off: some develop on live servers and deploy every beta the hour it
appears, while others test and test and prefer only the tried and true.

All these fascinating details aside, keep in mind that the terrain on
which these wars rage is wholly market based. The idea that any public
bureaucracy could oversee the process is unthinkable. So let us ask the
question again, so that the reader may join in the derisive laughter: in a
world populated by black hats, should the government be the sole wearer
of the white hat?

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Actually, is there any point at all in giving a white hat to the state? It has
no incentive to join the struggle. It lacks the calculational means to assess
tire trade-off between security and development. It lacks the entrepreneur-
ial drive to produce either. The nature of the bureaucratic organization is to
stay put, protect itself, and only move when kicked good and hard by politi-
cal bosses.

As for the power to do good, how can anyone guarantee that it won’t
quickly become the power to do evil? If experience is our guide, the govern-
ment in a position of authority is more likely to be creating viruses and spy-
ware rather than stopping them. As for the impact of the law, I vaguely seem
to recall some legislation passed a few years ago that made spam illegal.

Government can’t produce software that can outsmart every hacker.
Not now, not ever. But the government can violate liberty and waste vast
resources in the attempt.

As important as computers have become, there are interesting implica-
tions here. On a day-by-day basis the security of these machines is a far big-
ger matter than the threat of terrorism. Whether we like it or not, and regard-
less of ideology, we all depend on market competition to bring us not only
innovation but also to protect us in our dealings with information technol-
ogy. It is not a perfect solution. It can be messy and fallible. But the market
is the strongest and best hope for security, and the alternative is unthinkable.

How interesting that we have been told for, oh, some 400 years that
government is the agency we need to give us the security that markets can-
not give us. There are a thousand rationales why intellectuals have believed
this, but none of them seem very robust by comparison to the experience of
our times.

CRIME

Society in Jail

(Jt

April 10,2006

at are you in for?” the inmate of Lee County jail asked the
new prisoner. “Rolling through a stop sign in my subdivision,”
answered the new inmate, to gales of laughter from others lan-
guishing in the same cell.

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As they laugh, crumbs from their hard, dry sandwiches — distributed
by the wardens twice per day — flew from their mouths to add to the debris
of filth on the floor that was ground up by the cracked plastic sleeping mats
and absorbed by the old, thin blankets inmates use to keep warm in this
cold and wet eight-by-eight room.

The new inmate today joined 500 other prisoners, among whom
were some of the most violent threats to society — but also people who, like
Inmate 50 1 , are no threat to anyone.

He had been trying to make his one phone call, to which you are sup-
posedly entitled when you land in the big house. The phone would only call
collect, even for local calls. That meant that it couldn’t call cell phones. Most
local services don’t even have collect-call options anymore. So you dial and
dial but the phone might as well be a prop on the wall. There is no way out.

There is also no way for you to be called, by anyone. You have no cell
phone. No laptop. No hook. No watch, and there is no clock on the wall.
No one knows what time it is. No one who does know will tell you. Not
even a single scrap of paper are you allowed to take into the cell after your
arrest. You can only stand there in your paper-thin prison clothes and plas-
tic sandals.

“Man, this is jail,” someone screamed as the new inmate tried to dial for
die tenth time. “Jail! Phones don’t work in JAIL!”

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So Inmate 501 stood for an unknown number of hours, hoping that
he would be bailed out by his wife and kids, who had seen him handcuffed
and dragged away from home after Sunday brunch. He also hoped that this
would happen before he needed to use the toilet, which was filthy and fron-
tally exposed to everyone, including the women coming and going.

The saga began last October, when he rolled through the same stop
sign in front of a private swimming pool that he and fifty others roll through
several times per day. He thought he had paid the ticket but he hadn’t, and
tire court date came and went. He received no other notices.

But something interesting was brewing in local politics after he received
tire ticket. The local newspapers ran a series that claimed to unearth ticket-
fixing going on in the Auburn city government. It seems that some friends
of powerful people were getting their tickets dismissed. Auburn was already
known for its lax enforcement but this had the whiff of corruption.

The papers lacked details but there were hints that the whole story was
a result of a dispute between an elected official and an appointed city man-
ager. The city manager later resigned or was kicked out.

The suggestion of corruption was enough to attract tire attention of the
FBI, which made some inquiries. The combination of the media pressure
and FBI curiosity was enough to force a change in city policy. The new pol-
icy in Auburn would be total crackdown on ticket violators, particularly
those that didn’t pay and didn’t show up to their court dates.

Now, usually people who don’t show up for court dates for petty issues
such as this are just contacted and eventually pay. But technically, they can
also be arrested, just as this person was. When the city government is under
pressure to show that it is not corrupt but good and clean and tough on crime,
the result is that the fine print becomes a license for just about anything.

So in the last several months, the city has been busy issuing warrants for
people who have outstanding tickets of any sort. Cops have been tracking
down people in their workplaces, homes, on the streets or anywhere, and
treating them all like violent offenders.

The new prisoner, for example, who had never been arrested in his
life, still had discolored marks on his wrists where the handcuffs had been
slapped on.

We tend to think of the law as some sort of oiled machine that works
according to the regulations. The truth is that the law is administered by
people with a great deal of discretion over how others are treated. The war-
dens and correctional officials can choose to humiliate a person in whatever

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155

way they want. They can put you in prison clothes that fit or in some that
are way too tight. They can tell you the time or not. Leave you to languish or
make a call for you. They can insult you and lie about your status or be kind.

The only sure way to elicit something approaching humane behavior
from them is to crawl and beg like a dog. You are worse than a slave, because
you have nothing of value to offer your new owners. You are worse than
an animal in a zoo because you are of no value to your captors. They really
don’t care if you live or die. Those who do care cannot help.

No one has more discretion than the judge, who holds your life in his
hands. You are dependent on his mood of the moment. If he lets you off
easy, he considers himself benevolent. If he sentences you to 10 years or a
life in prison, he is only doing his job. It’s always your fault for not having
been sufficiently subservient at the outset.

The dramatic change in Inmate 501’s life occurred in the course of
minutes. All it took was a knock on the door. It mattered not at all that the
supposed crime was completely innocuous. Once you are on the wrong
side of the law, your life is officially worth nothing to anyone but those who
can do little or nothing to help you.

People talk of government compassion. But there is no compassion
in jail, which is where anyone who resists the state — even in the smallest
way — ultimately ends up. People talk of social justice but to implement it
means requiring everyone to make a choice: obey or face humiliation and
servitude.

Yes, people can “file grievances” or “sue,” and that is always the first
drought of anyone who finds himself in the hands of captors. But to whom
do you appeal? Whom do you sue? You are here again appealing to the
same class of people, the same group of coercive agents, who have robbed
you of your freedom. Your rights extend only as far as your masters allow
diem to extend.

People who criticize government as nothing but beating, killing, and
hanging — to use Mises’s phrase — are sometime accused of using exagger-
ated and hyperbolic language. Surely government is more than diat and is not
always that. Something as simple as a stop sign doesn’t beat you or kill you!

And yet, what the critics of government mean is that all law, even
that which appears to be a mere guideline and a help, must ultimately
be enforced at the point of a gun. It represents a threat to obey or lose all
freedom.

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This insight applies to all law, whether it results from a constitution,
or from legislation, or appears out of nothing more than a regulatory hody.
Every regulation, no matter how small, is enforced at the point of the gun.
Every tax can result in handcuffing and jailing and even killing those who fail
to fork over. Hidden behind each mandate is an armed tough in jackboots
and a bulletproof vest who is prepared to beat and kill to serve the state and
its laws.

As legislation extends, so does the coercive arm of the state, its police
powers, its jails, and its reach over society. It is like a poisonous fog that
descends and grows by the day, seeping into every nook and cranny of life:
schools, businesses, homes, churches. Nowhere is exempt. The sound of
tire jailer’s key rattling grows louder and more ear-piercing. The culture of
tire jail, where people are treated worse than animals, proliferates. You can’t
move without risking life or limb.

At some point in his day, Inmate 501 heard someone holler out his
name. The electronic click on the bars sounded and the door opened. He
had been bailed out, $500 in cash having been extracted from his bank
account and forked over to the city police. He was now free — pending pay-
ment of the ticket and another court date.

He left behind 500 others who are not so fortunate. Some of them are
hardened criminals. Others are in jail for smoking pot. Others were in the
same boat as he: a minor traffic violation gone wrong. None have rights. All
are captive, like citizens in a city under military occupation where there is
only violence and no law.

But how free is he really? He lives in a society where nothing takes
place outside the purview of the state, which is to say that he will always live
one step away from the prison cell that was his home for a day. One or two
wrong moves and he has lost it all. All of society is not yet a jail such as you
find in totalitarian societies or a society under occupation due to military
conquest, but with every expansion of the state, the jailers get that much
more power over all of us.

Their power is not always overt but it always lies in wait. This was trig-
gered by a zealous cop looking to fill a ticket quota, and an attempt to clean
up government from corruption — prompted by a media-driven non-scan-
dal that attracted the attention of tire Feds. It resulted in personal catastro-
phe. We really don’t get all the government we pay for, and thank goodness.
Lord protect us on the day that we do.

Victims on Trial: The Everyday
Business of Courts

December 17, 2007

I t is inherently implausible, if you think about it, that the state could
he an effective administrator of justice, for which there is a supply and
demand like any other good. Shortages, inefficiencies, arbitrariness, and
high costs will be main features of such a system. And because we are deal-
ing here with the meting out of coercion, we can add the presence of inhu-
mane treatment and outright cruelty.

Even so, nothing had prepared me for what I witnessed in the court-
room the other day. Like a fool, I thought I might be able to beat a traf-
fic ticket I received a block from my home. The policeman says I slowed
almost to a stop rather than completely stopping at a three-way stop where
there were no cars in any case. So my prize was a ticket.

The officer assures me that I’m not declaring guilt, but I have to sign
this form anyway. I can challenge it on my court date. So, again foolishly, I
decide not to go the route of everyone else — admit guilt and cough up — but
instead to exercise my citizen’s right to make a challenge.

I show up at court. Except that on my appointed date, the judge wasn’t
there. Why? They wouldn’t say. Is he sleeping in? No. Taking a family vaca-
tion? Outrageous that I should even ask! Ok, then, how about I see the sub-
stitutejudge? There is no such thing. But if I hadn’t shown up I would go to
jail for “failure to appear.” How is it that he can fail to show up and everyone
acts like this is normal? The clerk rolled her eyes.

Silly me. This is the state. Different rules apply to it as versus me. So I
am given a new court day, six weeks later.

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I show up again, and tell the clerk that I plan to say that I am not guilty.
This moved my papers to tire bottom of the stack, which is a very bad omen.
I would end up sitting in the court room all morning, listening to some 40
cases of people who are not so foolish as to protest the judgment of the offi-
cer of the law.

But then again, it wasn’t so bad. I got an education. It turns out that in
a courtroom packed with purported criminals, not even one of the people
who appeared before the judge was a danger to society. Nearly all were in for
victimless crimes. The two who had perpetrated actual crimes — petty theft
from Wal-Mart and the local mall — could have easily been dealt with with-
out involving the state. So far as I could tell, the place could have been emp-
tied out completely and our little community would have been no worse off,
and massive human suffering could have been avoided.

But that’s not the way it works. These people, overwhelmingly black
and poor but dressed very nicely in the hope of impressing the master,
found themselves entangled in the web, and thereby elicited the glare and
killer instinct of the spider. How painful it was to watch and not be able to
do anything about it.

The first case turned out to be typical. This was a person picked up for
“public intoxication,” which amounted to overcelebrating following a foot-
ball victory and daring to walk on the government’s sidewalks under the
influence of one too many. Arrested, jailed, bailed out. Now was the time to
face the judge.

What is your plea? Guilty, your honor.

What do you have to say for yourself? I’m so sorry that I did this and I
won’t do it again.

The judge then decides to be lenient. He gives the minimum fine plus
court costs. I couldn’t find any consistency in this pricing scheme, but gen-
erally it amounted to between $400 and $1,500. The judge asks the person
to pay it now. When he says that he doesn’t have tire money, the judge con-
siders a payment plan, contingent on the guilty declaring his income to the
courtroom; it averages $400 per month.

How about you pay $ 100 per month? Fine.

Oh, and there’s one more thing. The criminal’s driver’s license is sus-
pended for six months. How can he get to work? That’s his problem. It is
a very special problem since the court has decided to loot the person of a
quarter of his income during this very period. How can you keep your job?

Victims on Trial

159

Hard to say. Life is tough. And that’s the price you pay for drinking a few
beers and daring to walk on the sidewalk.

So on it went for person after person. Tragedy all around. Pointless suf-
fering. There were other victimless crimes. There were a few people who
smoked pot — and one who had earned a joint clip or some other drug para-
phernalia in his car. There was a person who made a “false report,” which
seems to be lying to the policeman. He was dragged off to jail on tire spot.

Another victimless crime of which these people tended to run afoul:
“resisting arrest.” I’d never thought about this charge much, since it is a
rather stupid thing to be disobedient to the police. Still, we must ask ques-
tions. To protect oneself from danger, threat, and capture is the most basic
of all human instincts. We resist criminals. We duck when someone tries to
hit us. Maybe we fight back if we think we can win. We lock our doors to
deter invasion and to protect our property and person. The right to resist
being captured is the very heart of tire idea of security.

Why is it that we are expected to utterly gut our instinct for self protec-
tion when the cops, for any reason they happen to manufacture on the spot,
say we must? It doesn’t matter if we are guilty or innocent, whether the cop
is wonderful or wholly corrupt, or whether the crime was tiny or big: we
must immediately turn into human rag dolls and obey our masters. And
if we do not, and instead we walk away or run, we can be tasered and shot
unto death. (The highly disturbing video of the Utah cop tasering the fellow
who didn’t want to sign a ticket provides fundamental insight here.)

Think what it means to criminalize what they call resistance. It means
what we believe to be our rights and our freedom are really grants of privi-
lege by the state and they can he instantly revoked on the whim of anyone
with a badge. These poor souls in the courtroom were all under the illusion
that they were free agents; they therefore ran and resisted when confronted
with danger to themselves. Now they are learning otherwise.

But what about the actual crimes in the courtroom that day? A lady had
stuffed a package of sliced ham or something into her purse while shopping
at Wal-Mart. She was fined $800 and had her license taken away.

What do you have to say for yourself, asked tire judge. “I’m very sorry. I
need to find other ways to deal with my lack of money,” she answered.

Yes, you do, because “we will not tolerate theft in this town,” unless, he
might have added, it is done by the judge under the cover of the law.

Oh, one more thing. This lady was banned from Wal-Mart for life. Now,
this sounds extreme, but it was the only decision taken that day that had the

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feel of something potentially reasonable. Might Wal-Mart have handed down
diis penalty itself? Isn’t this a good principle, keeping the thieves away from
its store? Makes sense, perhaps not for a lifetime but perhaps for a year or two.

But there is one problem. Wal-Mart can’t do that. Its shopping space
is considered under federal law to be a “public space,” even though it is
entirely privately owned. You can’t decide who you are going to let in or out
so long as you charge no membership fee. You have to accept all comers.
Only the state can ban people from public property. And so Wal-Mart must
use the state’s services. It is coerced like everyone else. A compassionate
and reasonable private solution is against the law.

But keep in mind that this was a case of theft. The others had done no
harm to anyone.

The machine continued to operate. The judge hardly looked up, not
even to notice how well these nice but exceedingly poor people had dressed
in an attempt to impress him. They and their lives meant nothing. It was all
about keeping the machine working.

Finally 1 1 a.m. rolls around. The court has already raised for itself some
$20,000, from my calculation. The judge says that there will be a short
recess before he hears the not-guilty cases, mine among them. He will then
assign public defenders to those whose income is low enough and then
schedule jury hearings.

In other words, I would have to wait and then return at some later date.
I realized that there was more involved in beating tickets than I knew. I
would need to make it my vocation — and might not prevail.

My kids, who had come with me, persuaded me that this was hopeless
and ridiculous and very costly. I should declare my guilt and pay the $200
and be free. They didn’t want their dad entangled anymore in this system.
This is what I did, and I was free to go and join the multitudes who put up
with this system of blackmail and money extraction every hour and know
better than to attempt to use the system to challenge it.

Most people in my position would have never gone to court, and they
will never see just how cruel this system is for the poor, for minorities, and for
everyone who gets tangled up in diis web of coercion and legalized plunder.

But now I understand something more fully that I once only under-
stood abstractly. I see how utterly ridiculous it is to think that the state can
be the right means to help those who are poor or living at the margins of
society. The state is their enemy, as it is for everyone else.

Officer Kanapsky, is it?

September 9, 2008

I t’s a suburban neighborhood, on Sunday morning. There is a three-way
stop at which hardly anyone ever goes the other direction than the main
one. But you often see a police car in the nearby parking lot, keeping his
sharp eye out for evil lawbreakers. These are the dangerous criminals who
slow down almost to a full stop that causes the car to shift back the other
direction, but don’t quite do this. Instead they do what is sometimes called
a “rolling stop” which stops short of full immobilization.The policeman in
the car regards this as “running a stop sign,” as if you paid no attention to it
at all, and he’ll give you a ticket whenever he catches you doing it.

From the policeman’s point of view, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
One recent empirical accounting at this intersection (I dragooned some
neighborhood kids into keeping count) observed that more than 9 in 10
people do not come to what tire law regards as a “full stop.”

I should know about this because, try as I might to be a law-abiding citi-
zen, I have now received my fifth ticket this year at this very intersection one
block from my house. That’s not a typo. Five! I know it sounds crazy — why
the heck can’t I obey those who are ordained to keep me safe? — but when
you consider that I go through this intersection several times per day, I’m
actually doing rather well.

It goes without saying that this is a racket. The city is many hundreds of
dollars richer because of my penchant for lawbreaking alone, and probably
hundreds of thousands richer if you include everyone else’s.

But it wasn’t until someone drew my attention to this link, (http://www.
motorists.org/blog/trafFic-tickets/police-ofFicer-raise-stop-sign-tickets/)
that I understood the full extent of what this whole racket is about. Yes, it’s

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about money. But there is more to it than that. You see, it turns out that I’m
an archetype, a person who rolls through stop signs in my safe neighbor-
hood and then gets outraged when the ticket is issued and attempts to “fight
authority” rather than pay up. So, fool that I am, I actually believe in “chal-
lenging the system.” I take seriously the claim that I’m innocent until proven
guilty. Can you believe the naivete?

It’s typical of suburbanites. We challenge tickets, especially frivolous
ones. And this, it turns out, is precisely what the police want us to do, for
reasons explained below.

So on the appointed court day, I leave the office to go to the court-
house to fight this ridiculous ticket. I sit for hours and hours until I’m given
a chance to declare my innocence. All the while, the cop who stopped me
stands at the back of the courtroom with his arms folded over his bullet-
proof chest. He is heavily armed. I, on the other hand, was searched before
I even walked in.

If at this point I declare my innocence, I am given the opportunity for a
trial with my own attorney, whom I must pay because Fm not poor enough
to have the court appoint a lawyer even if I wanted it to. This trial is sched-
uled for sometime in the future, which means another trip to the courthouse,
and another opportunity for the cop to enjoy the air-conditioned surround-
ings of the courtroom he rules. What chance is there for me? In the end, I
would probably have to declare myself guilty of something or other, and pay
a lesser fine; meanwhile I will have missed at least two days of work.

What's going on here turns out to do with the way policemen are paid.
According to federal labor law, they are only allowed to be scheduled for
patrolling up to 40 hours per week, just as the rest of us can only be sched-
uled to work up to a certain number of hours. Courtroom time — and by
subpoena, they have to be there — often counts as overtime, meaning 50 per-
cent more than they are paid for patrolling during regular hours.

In the case examined by John Stossel on 20 / 20 , a policeman named
Officer Kanapsky made an additional $21,562 over his regular pay just by
standing around in court. The more tickets he issued, especially for minor
issues that outraged people are likely to challenge in court, the more money
he made. This is a result of labor law. As the Department of Labor says, “An
employer who requires or permits an employee to work overtime is gener-
ally required to pay the employee premium pay for such overtime work.”

Now it starts to make sense. You and I — his employers, so to speak — are
paying a premium for his court time, which is why he spends his patrolling

Officer Kanapsky, is it?

163

time trying to goad people into going to court. The policeman is being paid
time and a half to waste our time and to cause our insurance rates to rise.

In the private sector, permission to work more than 40 hours per week
is a real benefit to the employee and the employer, though the terms ought
to be left to the contracting parties. But in police work, this overtime per-
mission results in a scam that causes police to engage in low-risk, high-reve-
nue-earning activities that exploit the population.

It occurs to everyone who is given a frivolous ticket: surely the cop’s
time would be better spent stopping real crimes, not harassing nonthreat-
ening citizens. Now we can better see why they do this. It may he a product
of federal overtime rules, another case in which tire ghost of FDR haunts us
every day.

But what to do about it? Denounce the cop on the spot? That’s not a
good idea. It strikes you immediately when you are stopped by a policeman
that there is a huge disparity of power at work here. You are effectively cap-
tured by them. You must comply no matter what. They have the legal right
to use any method to keep you quiet and docile and to punish you to the
point of death if you resist.

YouTube is tilled with clips showing people being subjected to the lat-
est weapon of choice: the taser gun. The police love the taser gun. It leaves
no trace of physical injury. You are shot through with electricity, which
causes frightening physical and mental convulsions, but there is nothing
you can take a picture of. No bruises. No wounds. No broken bones. This is
all the better for them — and all the worse for you.

Never forget what happens to you if you decide to run instead. That’s
a death sentence. Forget that the instinct to evade your captors is universal
and deeply embedded in our mental/biological equipment. The state oper-
ates on the assumption that you are its slave when it wants you to be, and
otherwise free in name only. This is especially true in the age of Bush, in
which all police at all levels have morphed into militarized “security person-
nel.” The friendly, helpful policeman of old civics texts seems to be a thing
of the past.

In any case, the phenomenon of Officer Kanapsky raises fundamen-
tal questions not only about federal labor law but also about the role of the
police in any community. Do they really stop crime? Sure, they arrive after a
crime has been committed; they take fingerprints (those only seem to work
in the movies) and file reports. In real life, however, crime prevention is due
to the private sector: locks, alarm systems, and the like.This is what pre-
vents crimes from taking place.

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The police aren’t so hot at prosecuting crime either, but for people who
commit crimes like slowing down at a three-way stop. Yet we are all some-
how under the illusion that the police are the reason we are safe. It is the
core mythology of our civic religion.

If you do not believe that they do more good than harm, consider the
unseen costs. What kind of private alternatives are being crowded out by
tire very presence of the police?

It is also deeply troubling that most people believe there aren’t too
many police but too few. How many are too many? What if one in three
people were a cop? One in two? Maybe we should have two cops for every
one civilian. How safe we would be! Really, there is an ethos in this country
that you can never have too many cops on the street, and tire idea of hiring
more nearly always garners public support.

And yet, when it comes right down to it on the particulars, we can’t
stand the police. We keep a constant lookout for them when we drive. We
dread being pulled over. We know in our hearts that they are out to get us,
and represent more of a threat than a security for our freedoms.

In the end, we need to realize that the police are like all other govern-
ment employees: self-interested, living off tax dollars, parasitical on our lib-
erties. The case of Officer Kanapsky shows precisely how and why.

The Creation of the Bureaucrat

August 29, 2003

D uring the airport-security reform debate of 2001, Congress had the
option of permitting the airlines more discretion in securing them-
selves from the threat of hijacking. Airline security had been imper-
fect — Federal Aviation Administration regulations prohibited commercial
pilots from carrying guns, for example — but airlines themselves were capa-
ble of improving, and had every incentive to do so.

With the experience of September 1 1 , airlines learned that tire old wis-
dom concerning hijacking (calm the hijacker down and get him to land the
plane) no longer applied. Instead, pilots needed the ability to protect per-
son and property. Airlines discovered the dangers that might lurk in luggage
and passenger carry-on bags. They were ready to screen passenger lists
more carefully. Consumers, meanwhile, were more alert to security issues,
and the airlines would have had to compete on the basis of the most supe-
rior security, in addition to the usual considerations of price, reliability, and
comfort. The industry could have responded to real threats without creat-
ing unnecessary passenger inconvenience.

But instead, Congress, with the blessing of the White House, short cir-
cuited the market process. Paid by government, working for government,
and identifying with its interests, the bulk of political decision makers natu-
rally see government as the answer to every major problem. They view the
“market” as uncertain and untrustworthy, something to be granted liberality
on unessential matters but to be restricted and restrained in all essentials.

Hence, the laws regulating airline security were not liberalized. Instead,
Congress created a new bureaucracy, the Transportation Security Admin-
istration, to be put in charge of airline security. A National Screening Force
was established to examine all bags. Not only that: the government decided

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to charge consumers a fee (who could object?) for the right to enjoy its
newly provided security. This is after taxpayers had already shelled out tril-
lions of dollars to the government to provide defense against terrorism, only
to discover that there really was no security against suicidal militants carry-
ing box cutters.

At the time when airport security was nationalized, John McCain said:
“This, I think, with the president’s signature, will give Americans confi-
dence that their government and their Congress and their president are
doing everything possible to improve airport security as rapidly as possible.”

But doing everything that the government finds possible isn’t the same
thing as doing what is necessary according to the assessment of the owners
of the airlines and the customers who use them. The TSA has no connec-
tion at all to owners and customers. As a result, it is now common for peo-
ple who fly to return with amazing stories of humiliating and unwarranted
intrusions, harassment, and bureaucratic delays. As to whether security has
actually been enhanced, it’s anyone’s guess.

Most pilots are still unarmed. Those that are had to face a thicket of red
tape, including an intimidating psychological evaluation, in the course of a
government training program undertaken on their own time. Once they are
given the right to protect plane and passengers, pilots must still carry their
firearm in a lockbox. Meanwhile, federal flight marshals are still rare.

Average passengers, who have borne the brunt of the costs of security
guidelines, must obey a codified list of items that can and cannot be earned
on planes. Box cutters are outlawed for politically understandable reasons —
given government’s propensity to protect us all from past threats. Why are
people allowed to carry cigar cutters but not razor blades, knitting needles
but not ice picks, and nail hies but not tiny scissors is anyone’s guess.

What makes the people who drew up the list, as versus the airlines
themselves, any greater experts on the likelihood that these objects will or
will not be used in terrorism? A person who intends to do harm in the sky
isn’t likely to be deterred by having his cuticle scissors confiscated. Remem-
ber too that any object that can be used for terrorism can also be used to
protect against terrorism; stripping passengers of anything that could be
used as an offensive weapon also takes away items that could be used for
defensive purposes.

As for bureaucrats now running airport security, they are obeying
orders from above, not responding to market needs. They face no compe-
tition, have no access to a feedback mechanism of profit and loss, and they
lack every incentive to actually make good managerial judgments that would

The Creation of the Bureaucrat

167

lead to enhanced security. They are not owners but rather outsiders to the
market process, blind to the needs of consumers, inattentive to the inter-
ests of the airlines, and disregarding of the various tradeoffs associated with
choosing one method over another.

All of these results could be known in advance, and critics of the pro-
gram warned that this would be the result. But it is still something remark-
able to observe in real life, as I did on a recent flight. Upon entering the
airport, confusion was everywhere. No effort was made to make the system
transparent to regular people. There were huge scanning contraptions with
bags sitting on the conveyor belt (who owns the contract for those and how
did they get it?) but it wasn’t clear whether one’s own bags were supposed
to be placed on them or what would happen to them after. What was clear,
given the employee badges and demeanor, is that passengers would be in
lots of trouble if they did the wrong thing.

The bags took an age to go through, and anything suspicious would
prompt the federal employees to open up the bag and wipe a tiny cloth
on the contents inside, in four different places. 1 suppose this is to check
for explosives. They then examined the cloth to observe any discoloring.
The whole process had the appearance of silly ritual, not an actual security
check. What was especially striking was the speed of the operation. The
entire airport had passengers and airline employees bustling about here and
there. But the federal employees seemed to work outside of time itself, com-
pletely oblivious to the tempo around them. They lacked any sign of vigor
or initiative.

These federal employees seemed to be vaguely in charge of all things
between the time the passengers entered the airport and when they did the
final pass beyond the last X-ray machine. They seemed disparaging of the
needs of passengers, stationing five employees in a spot where it should take
one, and assigning one employee to do a job that should take five. They
were probably all nice people but they acted like caricatures of government
bureaucrats: at once belligerent and ignorant, threatening and uninterested,
detached and intrusive. Their main job seemed to be to muck up the sys-
tem, and revel in the fact that they were in charge. This was Martin van
Creveld’s “impersonal state” at work.

Security is a service like any another. When the market is in charge,
it is something provided when, how, and to what extent it is needed. Risk
assessment is crucial. There is no sense in wasting resources on nonexis-
tent threats. Those contracted to provide security must be in a position to
respond to the needs of the moment, change their tactics, and outwit the

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threat. Those who do the job best are rewarded and those who fail are
weeded out of the market. Competitive pressures lead to constant improve-
ments in methods and continually falling costs.

The bureau in charge of federal security today bears none of these
traits. This isn’t because of culpable negligence or incompetence, though
surely these factors play a role. It is because they stand outside the market
system and are not thus responding to the needs of producers and con-
sumers. Though it is a new bureaucracy, its employees already fit the clas-
sic description as given by Ludwig von Mises: “they shun innovations and
improvements. They look on every project for reform as a disturbance of
their quiet.” The absence of market mechanisms “creates insoluble prob-
lems. It kills ambition, destroys initiative and the incentive to do more than
tire minimum required. It makes the bureaucrat look at instructions, not at
material and real success.” (. Bureaucracy , 1944,pp. 60-61).

Sullen and incompetent employees are a feature of the private sector
too, of course. The crucial difference is that in the market economy, forces
are at work to systematically punish the bureaucratic impulse and replace
it with something more spectacular: vigor, innovation, and genuine public
service to others. In the private sector, failure is punished with losses. After
9-1 1, we saw what happens when government-provided security fails: gov-
ernment grows.

The success or failure of the Transportation Security Administration
will come up for review in a couple of years. We already know what will hap-
pen. Plenty of failures will be spotted, as well as many imagined successes.

Regardless of the record, tire bureaucracy won’t be abolished. It will be
“reformed,” especially given that a huge new lobbying force now has every
reason to push Congress to retain the system. The one reform that tire sys-
tem most needs — namely, to be subjected to the competitive pressures of
the market — is not possible in the current framework. The only real solu-
tion is the one that Congress rejected back when it had the chance for real
reform: total privatization.

Stop Signs and Liberty

July 14,2009

A nd then one day the stop sign was gone.

It was the very stop sign one block from my house that was oddly
stationed at a low-traffic, three-way intersection, tempting every
driver to slow down but not come to a complete stop.

How the city cleaned up on that one! I have personally coughed up in
excess of $1,000 for tickets there, one time receiving two tickets in as many
days. This sign was even the reason that I spent a day in jail for failing to
fork over when the judge said I should.

I’m not alone: 93% of the drivers failed to come to a complete stop.
Even so, I’m routinely lectured that my job as a citizen is to do precisely
as I’m told. Eve learned to habitually stop completely, even when the place
looks like a ghost town, with no cars anywhere in view.

Then one day the stop sign vanished.

What happened here? Did the cops finally get all the citizens trained
to stop and thereby dissipate their opportunity for rents? Was there just no
more money to be made from the disobedient?

Do I get a refund? How about compensation for the day I spent in jail?
What about everyone else?

The local government must have extracted tens of thousands of dol-
lars before good sense overcame our overlords and they decided to relent to
reality. But no, there will not he compensation. The law changed its mind,
and we are supposed to just deal with it. Now I must rehabituate myself to
breaking — I mean keeping — the law.

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One day, I’m jailed for failing to stop. Presumably, I could now get a
ticket for stopping, since surely there is a law against suddenly stopping on
a public road for no reason other than some vague memory than one had to
in die past.

What is evil one day is mandatory the next.

Now, I know what some readers are thinking: here we go with the liber-
tarian wacko complaining about the “coercion” of stop signs. For decades,
conservatives have been poking fun, caricaturing libertarians as people
who rail against stop signs and thereby reveal their personal problem with
authority — even such obviously justified authority as government stop
signs.

Don’t we understand that these keep us safe, and so surely we should
be willing to give up just a bit of license to speed around with abandon in
die interest of the common good?

Even now, a quick google of “libertarians” and “stop signs” reveals
many people on the Left and the Right who think it is just stupidly hilarious
drat libertarians talk about these issues.

As a matter of fact, die management of the roads is a hugely important
issue, given that tens of thousands of people die on government roads every
year. Private ownership would in fact lead to greater liability for the road
owner — and also more rational rules of the road. The private road would
be devoted to serving the customers, not looting them at the point of a gun.
And not only are private roads viable; there is a long history and a present
practice to draw on.

Walter Block’s new book on road privatization makes the case that this
is not an issue to ignore but one to solve through free enterprise.

In some ways, then, it is true that the stop sign — as with every regula-
tion by the state — embodies all that is wrong with the public sector. The
rules are made to benefit the state. You are on the hot seat if any policeman
says that you have done wrong. The pretense of a fair trial is a complete
farce, as you have to tangle with judges who hate you, waste several days of
work, and throw yourself on the mercy of the court. Once you are entangled
in die web, you can’t really get out.

And who makes the rules? The central planners make the rules, and
die public be damned. The rules are diere to serve the state, not us, and the
stop sign that is oddly placed in order to extract revenue makes the point
very well.

Stop Signs and Liberty

171

When you are stopped, you become aware that the imbalance between
the citizens and the state couldn’t be more obvious. Deliver an insult and
you are arrested. Try to run and you are gunned down. Fail to pay and you
end up in the slammer. And maybe the cop will find something else about
your life to be suspicious of. Whatever they want to know, you must tell
them.

Government is not reason; it is force. What was the actual social ratio-
nale for that stop sign in the first place? You dare not ask, for then you
are questioning the elites who are in charge of your life. And why was it
removed? It’s not for you to question why; it is for you to do or die. It was
there and now it is gone. All “law-abiding citizens” must change with the
arbitrary dictate of the traffic masters.

Now, I’m not saying that we don’t need rules in society. But the ques-
tion of who makes the rules and on what basis becomes supremely impor-
tant. Will the rule-making flow from the matrix of voluntary exchange based
on the ethic of serving others through private enterprise? Or will the rules
be made and enforced by people wearing guns and bulletproof vests with a
license to shock or kill based on minor annoyances?

Something as seemingly innocuous as a stop sign can become the occa-
sion for the use of terrible violence and terrible oppression. And think
about it: we are talking about local government which is especially sensi-
tive to public opinion. If we see corruption here, what about at the national
level, where the citizens are nothing but an abstraction?

So, no, I have no problem with making the stop sign a symbol of the
fight. It shows that even the least objectionable aspects of the state can mask
despotism and that we should think hard — very hard — before ever ceding
control of even the smallest parts of life to the state.

Ultimately, the state is in control or we are.

There is nothing in between.

HEALTH & MANNERS

Dress Like the Great Depression

March 9, 2009

A conspicuous cultural change we can look forward to is a dramatic
change in men’s dress style. Guys, you might as well get ahead of
the curve. The free-fall economy means a boon for better fashion for
men who intend to survive the onslaught.

We will be highly fortunate if the second Great Depression turns out
to be as stylish as the first, in which even the bums sleeping on the park
benches looked better than the average workers and even CEOs today.

I am looking at this guy in a Depression-era photo. I see the 1% inch
cuffs on his trousers, the snappy crease in his pants, the great hat, and the
woolen trousers. And the shoes: leather and laces, resting on a solid foun-
dation. If I found any of his clothes in the vintage shop, I would snap them
up and be ready for today’s tight job market, which seeks serious men, not
goofs in sweats and polos.

The boom times led to great shabbiness. Workers have lived in wrinkles
and jeans. The guy with the shirt with buttons is derided by others — “You
going to a wedding or something?” We were all encouraged to look up to
tire slobwear of hotshot traders and stockjobbers and the others, who revel
in the fact that they look like heck all of the time. Even the billionaires have
looked like hobos (who themselves looked pretty great in the 1930s).

The idea behind shabby vogue was to give the impression that you
don’t really care what others think. You are the cutting edge, the smasher
of idols and conventions, a person who doesn’t give a flip about how soci-
ety judges such artificial external superficialities as pant creases and ties and
tilings. Your value is in your very person, the fact of your existence on this
planet. In the boom times, the message of fashion is “It’s all about me!”

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Now all of this has come into question. How much value did thisjeans-
clad generation really add? How much of it evaporated? How much was
illusion all along? Maybe all this hype about intellectual capital is poppy-
cock, and what matters is what one actually does, and not only for oneself
but for others, such as customers and bosses and fellow workers.

As Trevor Kaufman, the guru of “CEO Casual,” told the Wall Street
Journal in an article written at the top of the boom, “A suit has become
something you wear when you’re asking for money.”

Uh, right.

In the bust, your clothes need to send a different message. There are
fewer resources to spare. Everyone is conserving. The goal of your life
becomes different. You are no longer permitted to pretend that your very
existence is a blessing to tire world. Instead, you must add more value to the
world than you take from it. This is especially true in your work life.

In fact, this should be your professional motto: I can add more value to
this firm than I take from it.

This is what every employer — who these days is reluctant to hire and
reluctant to promote and pay — is actually seeking. No more fluff in the
workforce. No more fluff in fashion either.

Right now, with unemployment moving into the double digits, it is becom-
ing a dog-eat-dog world in labor markets. You must stand out. You must find
ways to show that you are not expendable, that tossing you out would do
more harm to the company dran good. You must show drat dre company will
risk losing more revenue by sending you away than by keeping you.

Clothing reflects this. There is no sense in disadvantaging yourself in
diis struggle.

Just have a look at what all men in the Great Depression wore. They
were smashing. The suit. The hat. The shoes. The ties. Everything was well
put together, among all races and classes of men. This isn’t just because all
diis stuff was intrinsic to the culture. Men in all times and all places have had
the option of looking ridiculously unkempt. The point is that these men
were under pressure to perform, to show that they were valuable, to demon-
strate on sight diat they were desirable commodities as workers.

So let us plunge back in time to examine modern needs in light of his-
torical precedent, with some tutorial along the way.

Let’s start with the suit. It should be made of wool. It should be gray or
blue. It should not have that strange Euro fit but rather have the loose-but-neat

Dress Like the Great Depression

175

fit of die traditional American suit, which was never designed to show off your
body, but rather your character.

Thus must it be sturdy and serious. The jacket can have two buttons,
three buttons, or four buttons. When you are standing, all but the bottom
button should be buttoned. You need to work on the habit of unbuttoning
these buttons when you sit down and rebuttoning them when you stand
up. Yes, you have to do this each time. Try it consciously over the course of
a day and it becomes habit. The only exception might be at dinner, during
which it is permissible to keep the coat buttoned.

Never take your jacket off, no matter how much you want to, no matter
how hot it gets, no matter how much people plead with you to do so. The
jacket is part of your clothing, and gentlemen don’t take their clothes off in
public.

Just so that we are clear, the sport coat and pants combination is not a
suit. In other words, a blazer and khakis don’t work. A suit has a jacket and
pants, and sometimes a vest, that match. The fabric and color of die top and
die bottom are the same.

You can buy great suits in thrift stores or on eBay, but you have to have
a sense of what you are doing. If you don’t, you have to go to a nice men’s
store, where you will have to pay the big bucks. However, you can get by on
two or three suits, essentially forever. Wear one on Monday, Wednesday and
Friday and the other on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Shirts, always worn with an undershirt during the bust (because people
who really work also really sweat), should be white, blue, or light tan. Every-
thing else is a risk. It can be straight collar or button-down. Lose the fancy
“collar bars” and things until you are CEO. They look pompous most of
die time.

For fit, the pants lengdi should grace the top of the shoe, and the cuffs
should be more than 1 'A inches but less than 2 inches. The shirtsleeves
should fall V4 to Vi an inch below the jacket.

Now consider the shoes. They should lace up. They should have
leather soles if possible. Loafers are for loafers, and you don’t want anyone
to think you are among them.

And hats! This might be the most exciting of the restorations of our
time. Men haven’t really worn them since the 1960s, and that’s not just
because JFK didn’t wear his. It’s really because we don’t get out much
anymore. We go from the house to the car to the office and hats don’t serve
diat much function anymore.

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And I hate that I even have to say this, but hats are not to be worn
indoors. The only exceptions are large public spaces: malls, train stations,
airports, and hotel lobbies. Otherwise, they are always off: restaurants,
homes, offices, elevators, etc.

However, the hat serves more dian a pure utility function. It is a diing of
beauty. It is as valuable, in this sense, in the hand as it is on the head. A hat
changes everything about a man. It elicits notice and respect, and the man
widi a hat knows diis: he is complimented on it constantly. And let’s just tell
the truth here: it raises you above the rabble quicker than any odrer article of
clothing.

There are two general colors of hats: browns and blacks. You choose
your hat the same way you would choose your socks, by picking up on gen-
eral hues and themes. They are made of wool and sometimes pelts (fancy
stuff). They can be stiff or crushable. You know the style that is right for you
by trying it on. Different head shapes require different styles, so I’m not sure
drat online shopping can really work here.

In any case, despite our indoor culture, the new Great Depression
stands a good chance of finally smashing the legacy of JFK: the hat might
be restored.

Please note one final point: dressing up doesn’t mean adopting a stuffy
personality with a stiff way about you, or walking around like a tin man.
Good clothes provide the freedom to express yourself in other ways. You
can be casual-acting and normal-behaving, and it is all the more important
to be this way when you are dressed up. You can still move about normally,
and do all the things you would otherwise normally do.

Clothes on a man should look and seem comfortable no matter what
they are. You must be confident enough to wear them as if you belong in
them. The more you can look like your clothes are in fact no big deal, just
part of your life, the more compelling the message will be.

The way you dress can make all the difference. If it doesn’t work to
boost your professional life, you can always count on looking fantastic when
you march on the White House and protest against its occupants for rob-
bing you blind in die name of saving you.

Protectionism and My Stuffy Nose

December 26, 2007

r I ihere I stood at die pharmacy counter, with a head cold, sniffing away,
and begging for some product that contains pseudoephedrine, which
works like a magic nose unclogger. The stuff you can get off the shelf
now contains the similar-sounding drug called phenylephrine, but it might as
well be a placebo. It just doesn’t work, and most everyone knows this.

You can still get the good old stuff from the pharmacist but you will be
suspected for this grave action. The government, you see, says that people
have been buying the old stuff and turning it into methamphetamine. This
is why Congress and the administration passed the Combat Methamphet-
amine Epidemic Act of 2005, which rations the amount you can buy and
requires that you prove your identity and sign a special form.

And, yes, this act is now part of the monstrosity called the Patriot Act.

“Thanks Bush” I muttered as I signed the form under the glare of the
pharmacist who has been trained to treat me like a possible criminal.

It’s remarkable, really. Two years ago, buying Mucinex was no differ-
ent from buying toothpaste or shampoo. Today, it is a big deal and you get
on some government list as possible suspects. And yes, they do arrest peo-
ple for buying too much, as the stuffy-nosed William Fousee of New York
found out earlier this year.

The data that demonstrate a national crisis of meth usage seems pretty
darn thin to me, with reports of increased workplace positive tests balanced
by reports of decreased usage among the young.

In any case, one has to wonder about a national law that would so dra-
matically affect the health of millions in order to stop some guy from making

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meth in his basement. In the name of saving us from ourselves, the govern-
ment has made it far more difficult for us to stay feeling healthy.

Laws are passed for a reason. If not health, what possible motivation
could the government have had for imposing this law? Possibly to create a
national database of the stuffy nosed? Not likely.

Let’s follow the money a bit. It seems that most all pseudoephedrine
is manufactured in China and India, and very cheaply, much more cheaply
than it can be made in the United States or Europe. What that means is
that these companies don’t have lobbyists in Washington who can make an
effective case for their product.

Contrast this was phenylephrine, the world’s largest manufacturer of
which is located in Germany. The company is called Boehringer-Ingel-
heim, according to MSNBC. It developed the drug in 1949 for use in eye-
drops. In the last two years, virtually every manufacturer of cold medicine
has changed its formula to include the Boehringer drug. Some continue to
make the old formula available but only with special access.

Is it possible that the move against wonderful pseudoephedrine and
in favor of useless phenylephrine was really a form of protectionism in dis-
guise? That it was really about rewarding a well-connected company at the
expense of companies without connections?

If that sounds cynical, take a look at this (http://www.fecwatch.org).
It seems that our friends at Boehringer Ingelheim are rather interested in
American politics, with 73% of their donations going to Republican can-
didates for federal office. You can see here that Boehringer even has a PAC,
located in Ridgefield, Connecticut. Someone with more time than I have
ought to check to see how the people it supported for Congress voted on
tire act that resulted in a massive shift toward their product, and has nearly
kept its competitive product off the market.

Oh, and look here (http://www.opensecrets.org). It turns out that this
company spent $1.85 million on lobbying in 2005, and this was a huge
upsurge over all previous years.

The following year it spent $922,000, and spending declined further
in 2007.

And here is the Boehringer 2006 annual report, (http://www.boeh-
ringer-ingelheim.com/corporate/download/ar/summaryreport2006.pdf),
which triumphantly announces that “the phenylephrine business contin-
ued growing at a high level.” (Their 2007 report is not yet online.)

Protectionism and My Stuffy Nose

179

Now, before you call me a crazed conspiracy theorist, consider this
amazing coincidence. The main company that stands to benefit from a
law — passed in the name of the patriotic war on drugs — that effectively mar-
ginalizes in its main competition and gives a boost to its inferior product
spent millions in lobbying and campaign donations in the very year that
the law was passed. There is no record of any substantial spending before
tire push for the law began, and spending has been declining since the law
passed.

So let me go out on a limb here and say what any reasonable person
would strongly suspect. The reason you can’t get Mucinex and Sudafed
that work without jumping through hoops isn’t really about stopping base-
ment meth users. It is really about the racket going on in Washington in
which the law is used to benefit influential producers in cahoots with the
political class at the expense of less influential producers and the American
people, who should have the freedom to choose.

Remember: there is a story like this behind just about everything gov-
ernment does. If you comprehend that, you can understand why people like
Albert Jay Nock said that the state is always and everywhere the enemy.

Bush's Fowl Play

November 9, 2005

I n a classic case of News of the Weird, President Bush gave a press con-
ference the other day to announce yet another central plan to deal with
yet another disaster — this time an impending disaster, or so he claimed.
It seems that some birds are catching a flu called Avian Influenza or, more
commonly, the bird flu. It causes ruffled feathers and a drop in egg produc-
tion. It can kill a chicken in two days flat. Scary.

The Chicken Littles at the White House got wind of this and decided
to hatch a plan for dealing with the eventuality that it will wipe out whole
cities inhabited by people. That’s people, not birds. Bush wants $7.1 bil-
lion from you and me, in emergency funding no less, to protect us from the
wrath of this disease, which, he says, could sweep the country and kill 1.9
million people and hospitalize another 9.9 million. Part of the money will
go for “pandemic preparedness,” and part will go to individual states so
they can cobble together their own plans for our health and well-being.

As part of this plan, there is a website, pandemicflu.gov, which is also
a helpful link if you haven’t so far believed a word you have read. Here you
can click around and find the Mother of All Flu Reports: The National
Strategy for Pandemic Influenza. Be assured that “the federal government
will use all instruments of national power to address the pandemic threat.”
That includes FEMA, the Department of Homeland Security, and a hun-
dred other concrete palaces in DC.

In this report you will find what you must do: be “prepared to follow
public health guidance that may include limitation of attendance at public
gatherings and non-essential travel for several days or weeks.” The govern-
ment, meanwhile, will establish “contingency systems to maintain delivery

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of essential goods and services during times of significant and sustained
worker absenteeism.”

Yes, we are really supposed to believe that the government will “maintain
delivery” of “essential goods and services.” Your job is to sit in your house
and wait. Let’s just say that government has a credibility problem here.

Also, the Bush administration has a role for the military to do for the
flu what it did for terrorism in Iraq: “Determine the spectrum of public
health, medical and veterinary surge capacity activities that tire U.S. military
and other government entities may be able to support during a pandemic.”
Remarkable what the military can do, from spreading democracy to liberat-
ing the oppressed to curing the sick — that is, when it is not making people
sick or killing them for their own good.

Just to show that this isn’t merely a perfunctory line, Bush went out of
his way in his press conference to defend the role of the military. “One option
is die use of a military drat’s able to plan and move,” he said. “So diat’s why
I put it on the table. I think it’s an important debate for Congress to have.”

Now, should this mass death come about, our future would be rife widi
many uncertainties. But one thing we can know for sure: any attempt by
government to manage the crisis will add calamity to disaster. It will he 9-1 1
plus New Orleans plus a few other amazing failures all rolled into one.

And the worst part of government failure will present itself: rather than
make a mess of its own responsibilities, the government acts to prevent peo-
ple from doing what they should be doing to deal with the crisis. “Stop in
die name of the law” isn’t just a slogan from cop shows; it is the sum total of
everything the government does.

The Bush administration, however — which is supposedly staffed
by people learned in the wisdom of classical conservative thought and
informed by revelation from America’s traditional religious heritage — is just
darn sure that the government is the best and only means to handle a crisis
such as this.

A dazzling display of absurdity and chutzpah — that’s what the Bush
press conference on the flu was. Even if the flu does come, and taxpayers
have coughed up, the government will surely have a ball imposing travel
restrictions, shutting down schools and businesses, quarantining cities, and
banning public gadierings.

It’s a bureaucrat’s dream! Whether it will make us well again is another
matter. And why should individuals on their own have no incentive to deal
with disease? Why should the private sector have no reason to make cures

Bush’s Fowl Play

183

available if they exist? Why are we to believe that the government would some-
how do a better job at this level of crisis management than the private sector?

None of these questions have been asked, much less answered.

So I’m reading along in The New York Times , and it casually says this:
“This bird flu has infected about 120 people and killed 60. But the virus
has yet to pass easily among humans, as is necessary to create a pandemic.
Experts debate whether it ever will, but most believe that a pandemic flu is
inevitable someday.”

Well, as Roderick Long often says about such contingencies, anything
can happen. Men from Mars could land in capsules and plant red weed all
over the world. The question we need to ask is how likely is it and who or
what should address the problem should it arise.

The World Health Organization provides a link to data about human
infection. It says the following: “Although avian influenza A viruses usu-
ally do not infect humans, several instances of human infections have been
reported since 1997.”

So we’ve gone from hundreds of infections to “several.” And when you
look at the specifics, most were not human-to-human infections but people
in closer contact with sick birds than most anyone ever is. And even among
them, most patients recovered. For example: “A (H9N2) infection was con-
firmed in a child in Hong Kong. The child was hospitalized and recovered.”
In another case in Canada, infections resulted in “eye infections.” Among
those who did die, it was not a clear case of Avian, though the site offers the
following odd phrasing: “the possibility of person-to-person transmission
could not be ruled out.”

For this, we get a presidential news conference? As far as I can tell, the
prospect ofmillions dying from bird flu is pretty remote. Ifit does happen —
and anything can happen — why must government be involved at all? Econ-
omists might invoke a public-goods rationale: pandemic disease protec-
tion is a service that can be consumed by additional consumers at no addi-
tional cost and the beneficiaries cannot be excluded from the good once it
has been produced, and thus this service will not be produced in sufficient
quantity in the private sector.

The point is so farfetched that it makes a case for Randall Holcombe’s
theory of the theory of public goods: “it is in the best interest of the those
who run the government to promote public goods theory” and so the best
way to understand the theory is as a justification for the legitimacy of the

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programs the government wants for itself. It is a tool the government uses
for its own benefit.

What about the private-sector alternative? It will manage it as well as
can be expected. The price of vaccines will rise and draw more producers
into the market. Businesses will establish their own rules about who can
come and go. Private charities will deal with sickness. It isn’t a perfect solu-
tion but it is an improvement on dispatching the Marines or having the gov-
ernment provide “essential goods and services.”

What’s more, the problem of the bird flu isn’t even news, since the inci-
dents of human infection are several years old. Why does the Bush adminis-
tration choose right now to make such a big showing of its preparations for
mass death by bird?

Could it he that it is running out of other pretexts for expanding power?
Terrorism is getting boring, floods come only rarely, communism is long
gone, the China “threat” is no longer selling, the Middle East is dull, global
warming is just too silly, and people have gone back to ignoring most any-
thing that comes out of Washington. Meanwhile, the regime is desperate to
be liked again, and forever relive its salad days after 9-11.

That still leaves the question of why so many public health officials
seem so hopped up about the bird flu, even though the data doesn’t come
anywhere near supporting their frenzy. The answer is buried somewhere in
those gargantuan budget numbers. Someone somewhere is going to get that
$8 billion, and it is not going to be you or me.

What’s remarkable is how little comment the bird flu plan provoked.
We seem to have reached the stage in American public opinion where hys-
terical frenzies by government and totalitarian plans to take away all liberties
are treated as just another day. We see the president telling us to fork over
billions, and we turn the channel. Was it this way in the old Soviet Union
or East Germany when the state newscasts went on every night about the
march of socialism? Has crisis management become the great white noise
of American life?

It is a serious matter when the government purports to plan to abolish
all liberty and nationalize all economic life and put every business under
tire control of the military, especially in the name of a bug that seems largely
restricted to the bird population. Perhaps we should pay more attention.
Perhaps such plans for the total state ought to even ruffle our feathers a bit.

What Men Want

August 10, 2005

ou know why so many men walk around with sloppy hair? We

hate haircuts. You have to drive there to get one, which represents

JL decline, because if you know about Figaro from Rossini’s “Barber
of Seville,” the barber came to your home (hut then he also pulled out your
teeth and passed on furtive notes arranging encounters of various sort, etc.).

In any case, you have to drive there to get a haircut and you would rather
be doing a thousand other things. Then you wait. Wait! Oh sure, there was
probably a time when men would meet at the barbershop to talk about the
crops, the harvest, the rain, fishing, or whatever. No one wants to talk about
that stuff anymore.

Now they talk about sports. It can be very intimidating. I used to read
the sports page before my haircuts so that I could say something, anything,
if only to prevent the men from muttering about tire odd bird in the bow tie
after I left.

One time, though, I really messed up. I noticed that no one was in the
barbershop and said, hey, what’s going on? The barber said there was a
game going on in Auburn right then. I said yeah? And then warming up to
the idea of sports talk I said: “who we playin’?” His answer was devastating
and exposed my affectation immediately: “Alabama.” (If you don’t under-
stand why this answer would be humiliating, you know even less about
sports than I do.)

There was once a charming old-world Texas frontier town with a barber
whose trade went back generations. He was the only one in town. But woe for
the people who had the misfortune of getting a haircut the day I was there.
Arriving mid-morning, it was noon before my time came and then he had to

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step out to get a bite to eat. He didn’t come back for an hour. By this time, I
was so demoralized that I had to wait it out. My hair was finally cut — after
several naps, major depression, suicidal thoughts — at around 2 p.m. I was too
defeated to complain.

If there had been anything to talk about with those other cobweb-cov-
ered men, it was done after 10 minutes. In any case, the truth is that there
is nothing anymore to talk about in barbershops. You learn nothing, noth-
ing that you can’t get from Google in half a second. We have nothing to gain
from these strangers, and we have no interest in telling the barber the ins
and outs of where we are from, what we did on our vacations, and like that.
Why should we?

We don’t “get to know” the guy who processes our one-click Amazon
order. The modern age allows us to pick and choose our associations very
carefully, and this should extend as far as possible. Even our doctors have
speeded up, thanks to urgent care clinics that have liberated us from the
family doctor who is glad to waste a half a day of our time at his convenience.

In any case, what the world needs very badly, I have just found: the
three-minute haircut. Can you imagine? You drive up and park and walk
in and sit down. Becky Boss at Fantastic Sams in Westerly, Rhode Island,
gets the job done in three minutes for men and five for women, and it is a
great cut! Not a lot of fussing and poking and flicking your precious locks
around. She understands that your time is costly. And her speed helps her
get customers in and out.

You can leave your car running! And what a great sense of life this
Becky Boss has. No unanswerable questions about whether you would like
her to use scissors or an electric razor: she just does what is best. We are
not expected to conjure up a panoply of preferences that we don’t really
have, e.g. do we want it “blocked” in back or “shorter on top.” She sees
what needs to he done and does it. The critical thing is that she knows what
really matters: your time. There is just enough time for a first impression
and you are gone.

So I’m wondering why there isn’t a chain that advertises three-minute
haircuts. I guarantee that it would do very well. Every guy dreads getting his
haircut. For that matter, women report that the longer a “stylist” takes with
their hair, the more worried they become — and the worse the cut ends up.

Someone told me about a place where you can get your oil changed and
get a hair cut at the same time, which seems like a step in the right direction.
But still, you don’t need your oil changed as often as you need a haircut. So
tire three-minute haircut is still the answer.

Wliat Men Want

187

Let’s say the haircut costs $12. That’s $4 per minute that the barher
earns. That’s $240 an hour, or $1,920 a day, and $9,600 a week, and — wait
for it — $480,000 per year, plus tips! You can be a millionaire in two years,
and that’s with two weeks of vacation each year! Yes, yes, there are also taxes
and the costs of doing business, but the point stands.

I’ve seen the future and it works!

The Shaving Cream Racket

April 22, 2006

L ook, I’m the last guy to trash a consumer product. I’m disinclined
to blast the manufacturers of a beloved bathroom gel as deceivers
who make money off people’s ignorance and perpetuate the prob-
lem they are supposedly solving, or charlatans who deliberately hook peo-
ple on some chemically produced gunk solely for the sake of profiting from
repeated uses.

But someone has to say it: shaving cream is a racket.

Why don’t people know this? It’s just part of the lost knowledge of our
time. Wean yourself from it for a week, and you will find that your shaves
will be closer, unbloody, and quick. Imagine a full shave in less than a min-
ute, with no cuts, gashes, or discomfort. It is within your grasp.

You won’t have the face of a tenderized chicken breast. Your skin will
be solid and robust. You will feel the same revulsion I do as you encounter
that long row of shaving products at the drug store. You too will feel pity on
the seventh eights of the human race that does not understand this simple
point.

Why is the world hooked on this stuff? Here’s what happens. Early on
in a person’s life, when whiskers and stubble begin to appear on the skin,
tire young teen is presented a razor and a can — a can with a squirting top
that releases a foam. It is a charming little foam. The child is taught to rub it
on and then shave it off.

Oh how funny looking it is when the foam is on us! And how fun to
zap it off. We are left with clean and smooth skin. Pure magic. But the magic
doesn’t last.

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It never occurs to this child — so innocent, so naive, so trusting — that
he or she has been hooked into a lifetime of shaving hell. That foam, that
sweet looking puff of magic, is in fact the great enemy of a good shave —
black magic that relies on perpetuating dependency and ignorance.

The problem is this. Shaving cream does something evil to the skin. It
somehow weakens tire pores and makes the top layer mushy and unrespon-
sive. The kid comes to believe that somehow the foam is essential to the
experience. Without it, surely the razor would leave a trail of blood.

But then strange things start to happen. Red lumps appear. The shaved
skin comes to feel sort of strange, oddly sensitive to temperature changes
and ever more vulnerable to being sliced and diced.

People think: oh I need a new razor! So they go out and buy ever more
fancy brands, with multiple blades, pivoting heads, strange lubricants, and
push-out tools to deposit the hair remains in the sink.

They don’t consider that it might be the shaving cream that is the
source of the trouble.

Why don’t people imagine this possibility? Because shaving cream
seems so frothy and innocent, the glorious barrier that stands as a guard or
shield between your skin and the sharp blade. The cream is our valiant pro-
tector, so surely that is not the source of the problem!

In fact, it is not our protector. Shaving cream is destroying your skin,
turning it into a whining, pathetic, dependent, beaten, insipid layer of pasty
pulp. Your skin has become the fatted calf that has been killed, the lamb
slain on the altar, tire virgin sacrificed in some ancient cannibalistic ritual of
an uncivilized people.

Of course tire problems persist — and get worse.

There are many attempts to avoid them along the way. People try after-
shave, more and more and more of it. Pretty soon, they are tossing handfuls
of the stuff on their skin, putting alcohol all over tenderized and sliced up
skin. Then they become attached to that too. But it is not enough. The red-
ness and pain are still there.

There are those who believe in hot lather. They buy fancy machines
and rise extra early to warm them up. There are those who make the leap
toward electric razors that swirl and buzz around in a creepy sort of way.
There are those who believe the key to shaving is time: I’ve heard the pre-
posterous claim that a good shave should take 12 minutes.

Stop the insanity!

The Shaving Cream Racket

191

The core problem is shaving cream itself, and the solution is a radical
one: throw it out and never buy it again. It is destroying you and making
your skin weak and sickly.

But you say: surely if this were true, it would be common knowledge.
Not sure. There are many thing that are true — the state is a parasite on
society, private property would solve most social problems, rock music is
tedious and stupid — but are nonetheless not generally known or applied.
The truth that shaving cream is a racket should be added to this.

Many problems in the world cannot be solved by one person. But this
one can. You can begin the process of letting your skin become normal
again. You can restore your skin’s health. It won’t take longer than a week or
so. Stick with it and you will see what I mean.

The first stage of freedom uses only a razor (double blade is fine) and a
bit of baby oil or mineral oil. While in the shower or soon after you get out,
put some oil on the skin area you want to shave. Then shave it. The end.

At first, it won’t feel right. You might cut yourself. It will be scary. Your
skin might hurt a bit. It might swell up. Why? Because you have turned
your skin to mush for decades of shaving cream use. It needs time to recover
from this. You need to do this for days.

This is your first day of relief from shaving cream hell. Your skin is
recovering. Do the same the next day. And the next. And the next. After 5
days, normalcy will be almost returned.

After a week, you can even give up the oil and use only warm water. You
will find that you will be able to shave ever more swiftly and with ever more
abandon. A man can shave his whole face in 20 seconds without a single
abrasion.

My freedom from shaving cream began twenty years ago after a friend
uttered to me the great truth that shaving cream is a racket. Ever since I have
exulted in my knowledge and felt deep pity on the rest of the world for lan-
guishing in unknowingness.

To my knowledge, this is the first and only time that this great truth has
been revealed. May this short article serve as a hinge of history.

How To Dress Like a Man

July 16,2003

G uys, here is your one-article guide to dressing, based on many
years in the rag business and a lifetime of observing the sheer
ubiquity of error.

There are two general types of men’s clothing.

First, there are clothes for public consumption: clothing in which to
present yourself to others and thereby convey an elevated message about
yourself. These are types of clothes you wear to work, to the store, out on
tire town, at a wedding, at church, at parties, or wherever people are going
to see you. The primary objective here is that you look presentable, that you
be civilized, a gentleman and not a beast.

The other type of clothing is that which serves a pure functional pur-
pose: that is, that which you wear for yard work, fixing your car, an evening
at home, a Saturday washing the house or cleaning, or just knocking around
the park with kids. Everyone knows what type of clothes these are. They
can all be bought at Wal-Mart or thrift stores, and they are made of cotton.

The great dressing error of our time is to confuse the two. Or more
precisely: people think that it is perfectly okay to present yourself to oth-
ers in clothes which serve a purely functional purpose. They say this is fine
because it is comfortable — as if the only thing that matters in life is comfort.
Well, it is also comfortable not to shave and not to bathe, and we have a
word for people like that: slobs. If you don’t want to be a slob, you have to
live with a bit of discomfort.

If men could absorb that simple lesson, the world would be a much
more beautiful place in which to live. Elevated dressing causes people to
behave better. Crime might fall. Manners would begin to come back. People

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might clean up their language. They might listen to better music and read
better books. Something resembling civilization might return.

Now the next step: how do you look presentable? For a man, it is a
snap. Your full wardrobe need not take up more than 12 to 18 inches of
closet space. You need:

• one or two suits in blue or grey

• a blue or blackjacket or sports coat

• a jacket for Summer (khaki or blue cotton or, if you want to be really

fancy, seersucker)

• a tweed jacket for Winter

• year-round grey wool trousers (light or dark or both)

• a few pairs of khakis

• Three white and three blue shirts

• a selection of ties

That’s all. That will get you through a lifetime, replacing them with
something similar when these wear out. Mix as necessary. If you have cho-
sen well, just about anyjacket will go with your trousers. Just about any shirt
will go with anyjacket. Ties should be chosen with an eye to color, making
sure that the tie stands out and does not blend in with either jacket or shirt
or trousers. Men’s clothes should not “match”; they should go together,
which is something else entirely.

But, you say, I’ll look the same all the time! Right. This conveys an
impression that you are a wise and stable person, not prone to flights of
fancy and fits of fashion. There is a practical aspect here. You don’t really
want to wear clothes that cause people to comment: hey, that is a really nice
forest-green, window-pane, double-breasted, peak-lapel, side-vent hunting
jacket with leather patches! The next time you wear it, the comment will be:
oh, you wore that last week! No, you don’t really want people to zero in on
your clothes as if they have an existence apart from you and your character.
Clothes should not make the man; they should be the man.

As for adjustments, there are many things you can do to vary your
wardrobe. The main trick here is obvious: you can switch ties around (only
two knots are permissible: the four-in-hand or the half Windsor.) You can
wear suspenders. You can have button-down shirts or plain collars. You can
stick a linen handkerchief in your pocket. You can add a hat. All these things
can make a world of difference, and make you look just different enough to

How To Dress Like a Man

195

make it appear that you have a huge wardrobe, but not so different day to
day that you come across as a loon.

Is this an expensive undertaking? Not in any way. Unless you have some
size issue at work, most of this can be purchased at a thrift store. The other
day I bought a pair of grey wool trousers and a pair of olive wool trousers at
$3 a piece. The same items were available at a local men’s shop for $90 and
up. Down with retail! Sports coats are the same: unless you have some size
issue to deal with, most are available at thrift stores. Shirts? Same. A buck a
piece. Another option is the wonderful shirts from Lands’ End. Why spend
$65 for a Gitrnan when you can spend $25 at Lands’ End?

Note that wearing a sports coat is not dressing up. A sports coat and
trousers are casual wear. It is mostly what you should be wearing to light
parties, to most jobs, to the store. It is perfectly presentable for public con-
sumption. But do not be deceived into thinking that you are “dressing up”
when you wear them. A sports coat and trousers are the official uniform of a
man who is just going about the business of life. When someone says, come
casual!, this is what you wear.

Jackets can have two, three, or four buttons. They can have side vents,
center vents, or no vents at all. Avoid double-breasted until you have every-
thing else. Americans do not wear hard shoulders! Nor do Americans wear
those crazy drop-lapel sexy-style models that Bill Clinton wore. Do not buy
these under any circumstances. They are ridiculous. Finally, always prefer
natural fibers over synthetics.

Suits are trickier. You can get them at thrift stores, but they are harder to
come by. You can also see eBay, which has an amazing selection of suits that
you can buy for $20 and up. If this doesn’t work, you have to go retail, and
here you have to spend $450 and up for a decent suit. The worst thing to do
is go to a department store and buy a $200 suit from the likes ofJCPenney.
These look horrible and they will fall apart. If you can’t go thrift or eBay,
prepare to spend. It is worth it. A special note for older men: wear suits
most or all of the time, and always ties. Ultimately, it is the only thing an
older man looks good in.

If you are wearing a suit, you are dressed up but you are not formal. For
formal wear, you need a dinner jacket and black tie. That is another sub-
ject entirely. These days, most people don’t need formal clothing. If you do
need it once or twice in a year, it is worth it to buy tire whole package. Don’t
spend a lot of money! On formal occasions, guys all look the same anyway,
and you don’t wear it enough to wear it out. You can get away with spend-
ing $150 in some discount formal shop. But I digress.

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On shoes, there are only two brands that qualify as quality shoes: Allen
Edmonds and Alden. All others are junk. Good shoes are expensive. Pre-
pare to pay. The best possible shoe is the shell cordovan from Alden, start-
ing at $440 and up. So it is. They last a lifetime. If you don’t have the money,
go to the military supply store and pay $10 for some used military oxfords.
They look great! Ultimately, you need: a black shoe, a burgundy shoe, and
a casual shoe (this, again, leaves aside shoes that go with functional wear).
That’s all. As for loafers, they are aptly named. The normative men’s shoe
should have laces.

This takes us to the issue of fit. Most people buy their shoes too small.
Get a half size bigger than you think. Shoes should not hurt your feet.
Don’t believe your shoe will stretch. It should be right when you wear it
out of the store.

Fitting a shirt is not hard. Measure your neck with a tape measure. A
shirt should not be too loose around the neck (you should not be able to
stick your whole hand in your collar!) nor should it be too tight (when you
turn your head, your shirt should not turn with it). The sleeve length should
be such that the cuff hits that bone at the top of your hand some four inches
above your thumb.

Do I really need to say it? No short-sleeve “dress shirts” in public, ever!
Also, do I really need to say this? Shirts are not supposed to be worn against
tire skin. Wear a T-shirt, please.

Jackets: most men wear them too tight! Resist the temptation to get them
taken in. They should be loose and comfortable. Jacket sleeve length: men
tend to wear them too long! One-quarter to one-half inch of your shirt cuff
should show below the jacket. You should measure this standing in place.

It doesn’t matter what your life activities are: fit is fit! I once had a drum-
mer tell me that he needs his jacket sleeves long in order for them to look
right as he plays his cymbals. Well, if so, I should make mine long to change
a lightbulb! This is nonsense. There is only one way ajacket fits: properly.

Trousers: they are not supposed to fit like jeans! They are supposed
to be loose and even billowy by blue-jean standards. Do not have the seat
taken in. Do not have the back leg taken in. Just wear them as they come.
The length of leg should hit the top of your shoe. It should not break too
much. Cuffs should be 1.5 inches, no less. Older men can get away with
larger cuffs but not younger men.

Socks: nothing fancy, please! They should be blue, black, grey, or tan.
Anything else, like argyles or other patterns, is too fussy for a gentleman.

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They conjure up an image of a guy rifling through a sock drawer try to find
just the right sock for the occasion. This is an awful image. Socks should
appear to be put on without any effort or thought. But: never wear a sock
that is a lighter color than your jacket. No time to explain why. Just trust me
on this point.

Finally, never underestimate the power of tire iron. The iron is the ulti-
mate tool for dressing well. It puts tire crease in your trousers and takes the
wrinkles out of your jackets. It flattens the placket on your shirt and puts
a point in the cuffs of your pants. Your iron should come out frequently,
almost daily in fact. If you are not ironing, you are not dressing well.

Yes, there is much more to say, but this article contains just about all
you will ever need to know to look better than most every man in the world.
Follow my advice and do your part to save civilization.

Do People Secretly
Think You're a Pig?

December 1,2007

Y ou don’t want to read this article. But you should and must. It con-
tains some dreadful truths that are universal but no one is willing to
talk about them because the subject is so uncomfortable.

I would like to reveal a universal prejudice — it is a cruel and judgmental
attitude that is written on the hearts of people in all times and all places — that
might very well wreck your life, but which you can deal with rather easily.

The subject is table manners. No biggie, right? Who cares about how
one holds a fork or cuts a steak or eats soup? All this is merely Victorian
frippery, irrelevant in our days of social liberation.

Here’s the truth. You are beingjudged every time you lift fork to mouth.
And not just judged: you are watched with an eagle eye and mercilessly
and horribly criticized in the minds of those around you. They are forming
extreme opinions about you. Missteps are being chronicled in the personal
histories others carry around in their minds.

What’s more, the assembly of facts that people hold in their minds con-
cerning your table manners rises to the top. It is more important than what
you say, because table manners seem to reveal some inner secret about you,
your background, your class, your rearing, your parents, your attentiveness
and self-awareness. People are perversely interested in your secrets, particu-
larly those you reveal inadvertently. No, people will not admit it. But they
are lying. You are how you eat.

It comes down to this. You can be wearing a $2,000 suit. You can speak
with incredible erudition. You can have the whitest teeth, the best jokes, the

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coolest haircut, and looks of dazzling beauty. But bad table manners wipe it
all away.

Worse: the better you look and sound, the higher the standards are
for your manners and the more severe people will be toward your slipups.
Why? Because people will figure that all the other externals are nothing but
a put-on. You will be a living, breathing hoax.

I know that these truths are hard to take. The first thought might be:
hey, don’t impinge on my eating freedom! I’ll eat how I want!

Ok, that’s fine. But then you have to live with the consequences. It’s
the same with dress and language. You can cuss like a congressman, use a
vulgar word at the table, stink to high heaven, and wear sweats to a dinner
party. For that matter, you can staple your face with 100 metal rings, and
stretch your earlobes to your shoulders — but then you have to live with the
social fallout. People will shun you. You will be an outcast.

It’s not only that. Are you really happy knowing that people who have
eaten with you carry around an image of you in their heads that has you eat-
ing like a pig? It doesn’t take much to cause this: stacking your artichoke
leaves upside-down, for example. So even if it doesn’t hurt your career
(which is does!), are you really happy knowing that people think ill of you?

Fine, you say, but first let’s discuss this.

At some point in your life, you will be required to eat in front of some-
one whom you want to impress. It could be a future employer. It could be a
present manager higher up in the pecking order. It could be the dean, your
pastor, a potential client or donor. It could be a possible future in-law. Don’t
think that eating alone in a fast-food place protects you. Someone could be
watching. That someone might later find himself or herself in a position to
do you a favor.

So let’s say you blow it on one of these occasions. There will be no
announcement. No explanation. No one will take you aside and say: “Next
time, eat your soup by moving the spoon away from your body.” No one
says: “I like Jane, but she needs to brush up her table etiquette.”

You will never know the reason for your failure. But neither will you
ascend. You will only rise as high as your manners place you in the social
hierarchy. Again, people are horribly and secretly cruel: they will condemn
not only your character but your whole family history. It’s not just your rep-
utation that stands in the balance but that generation’s.

And remember that you only have one chance to get it right, and then
you die and your legacy is established for all of history. Your legacy does

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not need to be less than it could, all because you never put your napkin on
your lap.

These are brutal facts, terrifying ones, even. But it’s better that you
know now rather than blow your one chance to get it right. Remember the
quotation attributed to Oscar Wilde: “The world was my oyster, but I used
tire wrong fork.”

There are many guides to table manners out there. But we live in a blog-
ging culture in which all information must be instant and short. So here are
die five essential things you must do no matter what:

1. Hold your fork and spoon properly. There is only one way: bal-
ance them between the first knuckle of the middle finger and the
tip of the index finger; the thumb steadies the handle. There are
no variations on this, no issues of personal style, and no regional
permissions. For some Brings, such as cutting with the other hand,
there are other variations that require turning the fork over. If you
are unsure, default to the orthodox way.

2. Put your napkin in your lap after you sit down to dinner. Do not
forget.

3. Don’t smack. This is easy, right? Apparently not. Smacking is
incredibly and disgustingly common. People must suppose that
others don’t hear it. But they do, and it’s awful. There is only one
way in the known universe to prevent smacking: keep your lips
closed when there is food in your mouth, no matter what.

4. Eat at the margin, not the aggregate. Don’t cut all your steak up
before you begin eating. Don’t butter your whole roll. Prepare each
bit separately.

5. If in doubt, wait for others. Don’t start eating anything until every-
one has been served.

There: that’s five hard-core rules. There are a hundred others that
you can pick up in time, and it is good to read a book, so that you know
for sure that you are doing it right. But you do not want to look like an
obsessive rule keeper. Equally important to obeying rules is to look like
you are not even drinking about them. You must look comfortable, happy,
and relaxed. Wliat’s more, this is the only way to be in order that you can
be delightful at the table.

Okay, so you are jolted a bit, and offended by this article. You are
tempted to forget that you ever read it. You are free to do so. But others are

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also free to think of you as uncouth, ill-trained, low-born, and poorly raised,
and to treat you with all those assumptions in mind.

Yes, there are probably great men and women of the past who ate like
pigs. They succeeded despite it. Why take the chance that you will happen
to be among them, when minding manners is so little to ask?

Ten People I Would Like To Meet

August 1 , 2005

B log memes can be annoying, so this is no attempt to start one. It is
merely an interesting exercise that yields interesting information
about both the subjects and the person doing the choosing.

The idea is to choose ten people who you would most like to meet in
all of history, five men and live women. To make it more challenging, let’s
exclude family and primary religious figures such as JMJ, etc., and exclude
elected politicians and bureaucrats just because their profession is such an
obviously shoddy means toward achieving immortality.

The idea isn’t to meet them to pester them with some question, like
asking Socrates precisely what he was teaching the youth, or Shakespeare
whether he really is Shakespeare. Nor is it about some time-travel thing that
allows you to ask Kennedy who he thinks shot him.

No, the idea is to meet these people as you might meet anyone today
in a casual setting in which you have a few minutes to visit, just to see what
impression he or she makes. The goal is to discover what it is like to be in
their presence, to hear their voices, to look in their eyes, observe how they
manage the space, to engage in polite introductions and small talk and, per-
haps, to convey to them what their lives and work have meant to you.

Here are my choices.

Gustav Mahler (1860-191 1). In this conductor and composer we have
a mind and an imagination that surpasses human understanding, and yet at
the same time his art reveals a grinding human struggle. His nine sympho-
nies contain enough depth and meaning to captivate a person for an entire
lifetime, since it’s my view that it takes ten years to come close to fully grasp-
ing even one of them. You sense that if you did succeed in fully grasping all

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nine, you would know all that it is possible to know about life, death, love,
joy, sadness, and the entire range of human emotion and experience. A non-
practicing Catholic Jew in Vienna, he drew from all the cultural sources
within himself to cultivate the capacity for truly universal expression — it
came, but only with intense work and deep pain. He was known more as a
conductor in his time than a composer, which is an astounding fact. By the
way, I just heard Mahler’s reorchestration of Beethoven’s ninth symphony.
Presumptuous, yes, but somehow with Mahler, it seems right. There are
many photographs of him available: dashing, deeply intelligent, far seeing.

Ludwig von Mises (1881-1973). Murray Rothbard puzzled many
times how it is that the 20th century gave us this man who seemed destined
to resist all the evil of his times, and stand on principle despite every pres-
sure to compromise. He paid a huge price. He was educated in security
and spent his early career accumulating a European-wide reputation for
pioneering contributions to economic science. He refuted socialism. He
integrated money into macroeconomics. He put the whole of the social sci-
ences on a new epistemological basis. Then the tables turned. Positivism
advanced, and the liberals began to cave and support the state. The Nazis
advanced. He was run out of his native country, run out again of his sanc-
tuary in Geneva, and ignored by academia in the U.S. He had every reason
to give in, give up, or regret his fate. But he never did. It’s as if his internal
constitution would never permit him to relent. This is why he was so hated,
feared by some, and also respected. God bless people like this. All accounts
report that he had Old-World manners, inner cheer, and surprising warmth.
Can you imagine meeting him?

Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826). Yes, I know this seems to violate the
rule against including elected officials, but I plead two considerations: his
presidency is the least important thing about him, and he only agreed to
it because the Hamiltonians were in the process of completely shredding
what was left of the founding ideals embodied in the Declaration of Inde-
pendence, and they had to be stopped. He didn’t mention his presidency
in his chosen tombstone inscription! All that aside, has American history
given a greater gift to humanity than the mind and thought of Jefferson? He
was best as a radical libertarian in every sense: secessionist, revolutionary,
decentralist. His faith in the capacity of people to organize their own affairs
remains the driving force behind political revolutions the world over. His
stature seems to grow larger as time goes on. He was a polymath and yet
he strikes me as a humble man — not at all the person whom public-school
kids study. His letters reveal a very careful writer with no pretensions but an
explosively creative intellect who wanted to somehow make a difference in

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human history on behalf of liberty. He seems so much larger than life itself.
To meet him would somehow prove that he really did exist.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900). The least important thing to know about
Oscar is what everyone knows, and how tragic that is. Here is what really
captivates me. He wrote plays and books in the late 19th century that were
snappy and edgy and funny and triply ironic — and the same plays and
books sound just as contemporary and snappy and ironic in 2005. Few
writers have ever made humor timeless, but he did. His works are for the
ages. And they are all “adult” in the right sort of way: you have to be a cer-
tain age to comprehend all the meanings and implications. To read him is
to be in the in-crowd, part of a private crowd that knows what’s what. He
flatters you that way. Also, he had a huge range. The Picture of Dorian Grey
is as serious a story of the corruption of the soul as has ever been written.
His poetry is wonderful. It is said that he had not an ounce of malice in him.
I believe that. His teeth were slightly yellowed, and this embarrassed him
so he tended to speak with his hands across his mouth. You might think
that would be an impediment to communication but no: all reports are that
no one in London for generations could so completely captivate a roomful
of people. People just adored this amazing man. Star quality doesn’t quite
describe it. He had god-like ability to enthrall and charm. This was a good
man and a great talent. Legend has it that his last words were: “Either these
curtains or I have to go.” Funny, but not true. His last words were the Act
of Faith. May the special interests leave him alone and may he one day be
appreciated for the artist he was.

Juan de Mariana (1536-1624). Ah, the Spanish Jesuit priest-theolo-
gian-economist who famously advocated the right of an individual to kill the
tyrant-king or any despot. His argument was that when a ruler steals, loots,
and kills in a way contrary to the natural law, it is in accord with justice to do
what is necessary to unseat him. Natural law supersedes state law. Don’t feel
bad for the despot: power corrupts and with that corruption come risks.
As for the worry that good kings would be killed unjustly under this idea,
Mariana offered up all history to show that is not the pattern: good rulers
are not killed and far too many despots rule. After his hook appeared, two
French tyrants were slain: Henry III and Henry IV. A mild hysteria against
him followed, the Jesuits repudiated his book, and it was burned by order
of tire Parliament of Paris in 1610. But this book wasn’t his most egregious
act. The book that really did him in was the one that condemned inflation
as theft (he was a great monetary economist). At the age of 75, he was con-
demned to prison for life. All reports indicate a man of amazing personal
fortitude, as unrelenting as he was brilliant.

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Mother Cabrini (1850-1917). Shorter than five feet and always dressed
in her habit, St. Frances Xavier Cabrini was one of the great entrepreneurs
of the 19th century, the Bill Gates of charitable work of her time. From
her earliest days she had wild ambitions to be a missionary to the world’s
poor, starting in China. Instead, the pope sent her to the United States.
She founded the Missionary Sisters of the Poor, but this was resisted on
grounds that women can’t he missionaries. She wrote to Rome: “If the
mission of announcing the Lord’s resurrection to his apostles had been
entrusted to Mary Magdalene, it would seem a very good thing to con-
fide to other women an evangelizing mission.” Well, what could Rome do
but agree? And so it seemed throughout her life. She overcame resistance
everywhere she went and eventually created a vast network of hundreds of
orphanages, schools, and hospitals in the Northeast, the South, and even
the Far West. She was both worldly and holy, an amazing businesswoman
and pious saint. Her business sense was particularly shrewd: she was once
donated some gold mines in Colorado, but rather than sell them she sent
some sisters there to run them properly.

Clara Schumann (1819-1896). I picture her as a graceful yet power-
ful personality, with beauty that flows from the inside. Certainly everyone
who knew her adored her. Her musical brilliance first struck me when I
read a letter to her from Brahms in which he bemoaned the fact that he was
doomed to make a living as a piano teacher whereas she could grow rich
from performing the piano. She had far more invitations than she could
accept. Imagine how many virtuosic pianists there were in her time, and yet
she dominated the field with masterful performances that drove the likes
of Brahms to unemployment! She made innovative contributions to piano
pedagogy as well, in her position at two German conservatories of music.
She was of course married to Robert, and inspired his grandest compo-
sitions, but she is also the reason for the melodies behind many pieces of
music from her time. Aside from that, she bore and raised seven children
and wrote many creative works for piano. What a mysterious power she
must have had, the kind of person who walks into a room and fills the entire
space but is not entirely aware of it.

Saint Cecilia (third century). She was a Roman aristocrat who became a
Christian and found herself in an arranged marriage to a pagan and refused
to consummate it. Her piety converted him, and so an angel appeared and
they were crowned with roses and lilies. Later he was killed for his faith, and
his brother too. Roman prefect Turcius Almachius had her condemned to
death, first by suffocation, from which she escaped, and then by decapita-
tion, which did not work even after three attempts. The executioner freaked

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out and ran away. Cecilia lived three days and served the poor. The only
problem is that none of this is likely to be true. Yet here is what we do know.
She lived and was martyred, and her intervention has been credited with
supporting the arts and music since her death. There is usually some basis
for such stories, either supernatural or biographical. I would not be sur-
prised to find that there was something about her that called her to some
massive role in history long past her death. What it is I would like to know.

Rose Wilder Lane (1886-1968). Now here is a wonderful writer, and
a true American! The daughter of Laura Ingalls Wilder Lane, some people
believe that she had more to do with the Little House series than is gener-
ally acknowledged. Her writing career began in 1910 and lasted until her
last years. She wrote biographies, as well as stories for dozens of papers,
and lived a varied and exciting life. Her book The Discovery of Freedom is
a classic of libertarian apologetics. IVe yet to read her novels (the ones she
took credit for) but I would like to. I like this passage: “Give me time and I
will tell you why individualism, laissez faire and the slightly restrained anar-
chy of capitalism offer the best opportunities for the development of the
human spirit. Also I will tell you why the relative freedom of human spirit is
better — and more productive, even in material ways — than the communist,
Fascist, or any other rigidity organized for material ends.” How dashing she
must have been. I’ve heard reports, though, that she was rather shy.

Bette Davis (1908-1989). If she had never made a movie, one senses
that she would have made her mark on history somehow. This was a
remarkable woman with the greatest range in her personality. No one so
fully dominates the screen as does. One almost feels sorry for her co-actors;
they seem to shrivel and dry by comparison. Her voice, her eyes, her walk,
her presence and stamina, they all combine into a very powerful on-screen
personality. She most famously played ruthless women but this was just a
matter of the division of labor because she was just as great in other roles.
She is obviously very smart, and must have had an explosive personality. I
once met Gary Merrill, to whom she had been married. Actually I was sort
of forced to spend several days with him because of circumstances of time
and place, and I certainly had the impression that he never really recovered
from whatever he went through with her. In any case, how unforgettable it
would be just to be in the same room with her.

So that’s my list, subject to change, even as soon as tomorrow.

The Gay Adoption Conundrum

July 8, 2003

C losely linked to the issue of gay marriage is the issue of gay adoption.
The subject raises the stakes in the current national controversy,
and, as usual, state intervention complicates the picture enormously.

Below I argue for the political intuition of both the Left (that gay cou-
ples shouldn’t be prohibited by law from adopting) and the Right (legal-
ization raises the specter of children placed by courts in ethically dysfunc-
tional environments and otherwise used as political footballs). I conclude
that the social, cultural, and religious conflicts associated with gay marriage
and adoption are best resolved through laissez-faire.

In a painfully circuitous column on gays and marriage, Jonah Goldberg
writes: “I remain unconvinced that marriage is a ‘fundamental right’ and
therefore immune to government regulation.” Rather than try to sort out the
myriad confusions in this sentence, let us just state tire obvious: marriage and
family, like the ownership of property, precede the state. They are rooted in
the freedom of association and the right of contract. They need no state to
exist. In a state of anarchy, there would still be property, marriage, and family.

Historically, religious institutions and clan, not the state, had the stron-
gest claim to adjudicating matters involving marriage, though in a free soci-
ety tlie decision to marry is the individual’s. (The Catholic Church has long
recognized the right of die individual in the choice of a spouse, for example,
and the sacrament of marriage itself is confected not by the priest but by the
couple.) The state took over this power and has made a mess of it. It should
be restored to private institutions, and be none of the state’s business.

So should gays be permitted to marry? Michael Kinsley is right: gov-
ernment should get out of die marriage business. This answer flows directly

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from the general embrace of the principle of free association: people should
be permitted to do whatever they want provided they aren’t violating any-
one’s rights. They do not have the right to expect the Church, employers,
or anyone else to recognize their choices as valid and morally legitimate, of
course. If people have a problem with the idea of two men or two women
being married — as would practically everyone throughout the whole his-
tory of wo rid — there is an easy solution: don’t recognize it as a marriage.

We do this all the time in life. I love music but I don’t recognize rap,
heavy metal, and Christian contemporary music as genuinely musical. I think
they’re junk and I’m glad to say so. In fact, my opinion is that anyone who lis-
tens to this stuff is doing harm to himself, and, in the broadest possible sense,
is debasing the culture. But to listen to this music is not harmful to anyone
but those who choose to do so, so I am not within my rights to prevent it. As
for die culture, I do not enjoy die right to shape it according to my own views
of what constitutes beauty and art and truth. (If I did I would force everyone
to listen to 16 th century liturgical music, properly performed.)

So it is with gay marriage. If you think it’s a hoax, nothing prevents a
free person in a free society from saying so, just as nothing prevents anyone
from calling a union of two persons or more of whatever sort a “marriage.” If
you don’t like that, and believe that society requires an overarching coercive
audiority to impose the family structure, you do not have much faidi in the
orderliness of human choice, you are not a liberal in the classical sense, and
you won’t like the rest of this article. Suffice it to say that the traditional fam-
ily structure is not a legal artifice; it is an outgrowth of tendencies in human
nature, and it is not going to disappear because some men in Texas shack
up and call diemselves married.

The existence of the state, as well as its benefits and legal rights asso-
ciated with marriage, add a layer of confusion. The very presence of legal
marital protections and benefits cries out for the state to define what con-
stitutes a legitimate marriage. By itself this is a dangerous power. If the state
can define a marriage, it can dictate the workings of the marriage and fam-
ily too. It can police the raising of children, kidnap kids, prevent them from
working for wages negotiated by contract, limit or mandate family size, and
a host of other interventions.

That marriage should be privatized is clear enough, but it leaves out a
crucially important consideration: children. This factor is the main concern
of those who would legally prohibit marital unions among gays. The worry
is that once the state permits gays to define themselves as married, noth-
ing stands in their way of adopting and raising children — a fact which gives

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rise to important concerns about the health of children in a setting that in
all times and all places has been considered ethically objectionable by the
dominant social ethos.

But let’s be precise about what in particular seems troubling about this
to the point that many believe the force of law should prevent it. It can’t be
merely the desire for all children to grow up in perfectly stable and moral
home environments. Everyone knows children who are raised in less than
ideal circumstances, from single-parent households resulting from death or
divorce, to poverty, to cases of neglect. As sad as these cases are, hardly any-
one thinks that the state should correct every one of them by imposing ide-
alized circumstances, and properly so.

We look at such cases, feel bad about them, but recognize them as part
of life — essentially private tragedies (I’m leaving out cases of severe physical
abuse, of course). It’s true that children need both mothers and fathers, and it
is absurd to pretend that anything less is just as good. But when this doesn’t
happen, we help where and when we can but don’t necessarily believe that
tire state should actively intervene to crush all less-than-ideal family settings.

What’s more, it cannot be ruled out that a stable home with two respon-
sible parents of the same sex would be a better setting for raising children
than an unstable home with parents of different sexes or a single-parent
household. In fact, most people these days know of gay parents with chil-
dren, and they haven’t led to any sort of social calamity. Such families are
surprisingly bourgeois in terms of their internal life, and tire effects of such
parenting on the kids. Perhaps this isn’t surprising; the desire to raise an
adopted child may reflect a desire for normalization and regularization on
tire part of gays.

None of which suggests that people should or should not approve of
gay adoptions. In all societies everywhere, such cases have always existed
under a cloud of some degree of social disapproval and they always will.
The only question of any political relevance is whether the state should
actively intervene to prevent them or whether this is an issue that should
be dealt with through non-violent means. As it is, there is nothing the state
can or should do about single people having and raising children outside of
a conventional marriage (of course it should not be subsidized by the state
either). So it is unclear why adoptions should not be similarly permitted as
merely the consequence of voluntary choice.

A main problem that inchoately exists here is the sense that gay adop-
tions would he somehow foisted on society via the court system, as an impo-
sition, just as die courts are working to grant gays many special preferences

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in the law (e.g. the alleged right not to be discriminated against). We can eas-
ily imagine state adoption agencies, and those licensed by the state, adopt-
ing a rule of “non-discrimination” between gay and non-gay households,
a completely preposterous rule but one that would be lobbied for by orga-
nized gay activists. Political pressure to relent in any such discrimination for
or against gays would be intense.

Foreseeing an adoption system as politically poisoned as the current
foster-care system, many people suspect that the demand for the right to
marry and adopt is merely a ploy to have the state intervene yet again against
bourgeois values. This is not an unreasonable assumption. The state adop-
tion agencies in question, if they are permitted to choose gay parents, will
not be wholly concerned about the well being of children or the desire
of the donor mother. The children will be placed with a variety of other
bureaucratic and political considerations in mind.

Even now, the entire adoption process is fraught with interventions that
impede its development. Adoptive parents cannot purchase parenting rights,
so there is no market as such. Agencies are hindered in their ability to make
contracts in all directions. Private services, including those that would pay
mothers to carry children to term, are either forbidden or crowded out by
public services. The first step to clarity, then, is to abolish all these interven-
tions and not impose new ones, legislating neither for nor against additional
rights for gays. The entire problem could be left to (unregulated) private
organizations.

How would adoption work in a free society in which gays were permit-
ted to call themselves married? The donating parent is a contracting party
and would only give up a child provided certain conditions were met. That
tire child grow up in a regularized family environment is a minimum expec-
tation that most all donating mothers (and fathers) would ask. If her child
were to be raised by a two-person, single-sex household, she would surely
have to approve it. In general, who is in a better position to want the best
possible environment for a child than the mother?

In a free society, there are no grounds to prevent women who bear chil-
dren from arranging peaceful exchanges and cooperative arrangements con-
cerning the parenting rights they own from the outset. If a woman conceives
a child, she owns the parenting rights and can choose to give them away or
sell them as she wishes. In this case, it is highly likely that the mother would
seek conventional families to adopt her child. It might be that single-sex,
two parent households would face a dearth of available children for adop-
tion. Certainly they would have to pay a high price for the rights, given that

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213

we could expect far fewer mothers to approve these conditions than more
conventional families.

It’s true that gays have a higher income than non-gays and could well
afford the price. But there is another price tag to consider in a free market:
the mother herself would be in a position to earn money from contracting
with parents over parenting rights. Donor agencies concentrating on non-
gay parenting might find themselves in a position to outbid the donor agen-
cies concentrating on gay parenting.

In fact, we might expect that agencies and donors would have every
incentive based on deep moral conviction to outbid the offers of pro-gay
adoption agencies, and convince risk-averse mothers-to-be that their child
should be adopted by non-gays. Each side would have every incentive to
make the strongest possible case for or against gay adoption, thus provid-
ing an environment in which the research and findings on prospects for gay
parenting would receive maximum encouragement and exposure.

We can see, then, that the free market might end up seriously discourag-
ing gay adoptions, simply because mothers who relinquish parenting rights
would likely prefer non-gay to gay parents. Would households in which gay
couples raise adopted children continue to exist? Most certainly, but the
crucial thing here is that all parties would have to agree to the arrangement.
Would there be abusive settings and morally objectionable environments for
kids? Certainly, but those exist now, whether the families are gay or non-gay.

Under the principle of laissez-faire, all parties would have every reason
to want to continue to monitor the arrangements once they are agreed upon.
Moreover, the experience of present and future gay adoptions would have a
big influence on their prevalence in the far future. The feedback works here
too: gay parents would have every reason to do the best possible job so as to
improve the reputation of gay parenting.

Of course those who object on moral grounds would continue to be free
to decry such arrangements, just as gay parents would have every reason to
dispute their claims. This solution doesn’t solve every problem but neither
does freedom itself. Freedom at least takes politics out of tire question, which
is the first step toward finding the truth in an atmosphere of peace.

Thanks to Stephan Kinsella, Walter Block, and Joseph Stromberg for
their comments.

Madmen and Government
Regulations

August 18, 2009

f ■ llic AMC’s Madmen , themed around New York advertising executives
in the 1960s, captivates viewers for its plots, fashions, shocking levels
of political incorrectness, and, most of all, and with the way it draws
viewers so closely into a world of tire early 1960s that they never knew.

It seems like time travel, like all of this is really happening. It’s so real-
istic that 20-something hloggers constantly talk about how “dead on” the
show is, as if they would even know. The whole show has become such a
culture phenom that it defines for the whole generation the way it views the
postwar/pre-Woodstock era of America.

Having some affection for those fashions and times, I was prepared to
like the show, and there is no question that the production values are the
tops. But hidden inside the show turns out to be another agenda, which
seems designed to glorify the regulatory state that came after the times fea-
tured in the show.

A few specific instances. Everyone is smoking, mostly chain smoking,
and mostly indoors. It gives today’s viewers a sense of creeps to observe
tire extent of it, as if everyone is working on making an early grave for them-
selves. And you get a sense of what must have been an overwhelming stench
of stale smoke. Hardly anyone can watch scene after scene of this without a
sense of discomfort, even to the point of feeling grossed out.

A hidden aspect of watching this is to think: thank goodness for the
bans on smoking today and thank goodness for the warnings on cigarettes
that tell consumers what these people didn’t know.

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The ubiquity of cigarettes is only the most conspicuous aspect of the
overall feeling of danger and creepiness that appears in scene after scene.
There is daytime office drinking to an extent that would surely raise ques-
tions in the context of modern workplace regulations.

The treatment of women in the movie is egregious and shocking, with
every office girl getting ahead by slutting around and dressing mainly to
please the men. They are overtly treated like toys, not humans or profes-
sionals. Harassment doesn’t quite describe it. It is nothing short of ghastly.

Was this really the plight of professional women in those days? Well,
the message goes, thank goodness for laws against discrimination and also
laws against sexual harassment. If we took even one step away from the reg-
ulatory seizure of American business life, we would surely he back in this
Hobbesian jungle of booze, abuse, and early death.

But a woman in the show can avoid this hell by choosing instead to be
a “housewife,” which means making the perfect home for her hubby, and
otherwise standing around gossiping with the neighbors and going to tea
and growing increasingly lonely and desperate. Meanwhile, her working
husband at the office is carousing around and sleeping with the office girls
while she pretends not to notice, since — what other options does she have?

Here again we get a picture of a wild world of patriarchal domination
and savagery before the federal government tamed it.

This theme appears in scene after scene. The kids in the house are
constantly doing dangerous things like wearing plastic bags on their heads,
since this was of course before federally mandated warning labels appeared
telling us not to do this. Mothers, you see, are way too stupid to know to
tell their kids not to suffocate themselves with plastic bags, which is why we
need a Consumer Products Safety Commission.

The same is true with cars. And with drinking. And seatbelts. And
every other thing big and small you can think of. Every high-profile fed-
eral intervention is given a subtle endorsement because we are shown in
high relief the sheer awfulness of the world before Leviathan took over our
homes, businesses, and public and private lives in every respect. Without
them, we would surely be blow-drying our hair in the tub.

This was the constant theme I observed in the several episodes I
watched. I’m sure others can think of examples that appear in every epi-
sode. It is a Hobbesian tale that posits the inability of society to improve
itself without the helping hand of the master.

Madmen and Government Regulations

217

The truth behind most of the regulations we have today — laws against
discrimination, harassment, safety rules, and even smoking — is that there
was already a social and cultural movement against the dangers featured in
Madmen. This support for change was effectively nationalized by the fed-
eral government in the form of coercive rules, rather than permitting social,
economic, and cultural pressure to bring about its own noncoercive solu-
tions to social problems.

It is easy to forget while watching the show that this is, after all, fiction:
a story made up by writers and producers with themes chosen by them for
a purpose. Call it a libertarian-induced paranoia if you want, but I strongly
suspect that a part of the agenda of this show is to propagandize for tire reg-
ulatory world that came after, as if it, and only it, saved us from an eternity of
grave social injustice and mortal danger to our lives and dignity.

I’m still waiting for a show about the real madmen of the era, those who
imagined that fastening a noose around the whole of business culture was
tlie only way to get us to behave in a civilized way.

Avoiding Austro-Flamewars

December 18,2009

D igital media — particularly “social” media like forums, wikis, blogs,
and tweets — have forced all people, including intellectuals, to
engage each other as never before in human history.

And yet, people have discovered that to know others is not necessar-
ily to love them. Conflicts and confrontations are a regular feature of daily
discussion, which is all fine; but sometimes these can become personal and
hysterical, and lead to lifelong hatreds.

People who frequent forums and other such venues know all about
this. It is often the “noobs” who are at the forefront of the flamewars, get-
ting their feelings hurt and lashing out, creating a spiral to the bottom. More
experienced users learn to distinguish substantive discussion and argument
from personality clashes.

At the Mises.org forums, for example, the periodic flamewars involve
claims that a post or comment is too brassy, or too studied, or too far afield.
This may or may not be true, but from where do we draw these impres-
sions? And what standard is available to decide what is and what isn’t
tolerated?

I’ve noticed three personality types based on three archetypes or muses
in Austrian history and tradition: Ludwig von Mises, Friedrich A. Hayek,
and Murray N. Rothbard. This thought occurs to me as I reflect on a type
of complaint that comes to us often about Mises Dailies, as well as contro-
versies that come up in blog comments and discussions, many of which
concern the proper style and tone (and content) of a site such as Mises.org.

The complaints run something like the following:

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“Mises would never endorse such inflammatory rhetoric, and he
was no anarchist. He must be turning in his grave after the article you ran
yesterday.”

“How can you run an article on the Fed that sticks to only economic
analysis without pointing out the insider scam artists who are getting away
with robbery on a gargantuan scale?”

“The site’s recent obsession with [fill in the blank] is a huge departure
from anything tire Austrian economists of the past talked about.”

The points here are not completely invalid, though surely not every
article has to say everything or be everything. There are times for power-
elite analysis and times for advancing pure economic understanding. There
are times to denounce war and times to reflect on methodology in the social
sciences. The Austro-libertarian perspective is vast and varied, with impli-
cations for tire whole world of ideas.

And it is true that articles here can be rather speculative (Block on pri-
vate roads, Kinsella on intellectual property, French on the downside of
bank deregulation), but there is nothing wrong with pushing a paradigm
further down the road. Nor is there anything wrong with passion in defense
of freedom.

Is there really a need to choose one approach to prevail? Why can’t
they all work together, provided people can be tolerant toward different
temperaments?

These three types generally follow the styles and approaches of these
great thinkers — however different they might be. Let’s examine the prevail-
ing models and see which one you might fall into.

Ludwig von Mises (1 881 - 1 973 )

He was a gentleman of the old school, bom into prewar Europe, a bril-
liant student in every area, with courtly manners that he retained until his
death. He faced immense trials in life (two wars, economic depression, two
migrations, and relentless professional upheaval) and yet never lost his foun-
dational commitment to reasoned, calm, and relentless argument as the right
approach to changing society. Even when he was witness to amazing bank-
ing scams, he resisted naming names to focus only on tire facts and logic.

His dedication to truth as he saw it was intransigent from the moment
he read Menger’s Principles until his death. His style was firm, dedicated,
and forceful — but always of the Old World. He also retained his commit-
ment to 19th-century-style liberalism — despite the totalitarian trends of the

Avoiding Austro-Flamewars

221

20th century and despite tire growing radicalism of his own later students.
His method was systematic argument in the form of large treatises in which
logic was the engine, and his system of thought was revealed book by book
over the course of his lifetime.

He believed that the ideas that people hold were ultimately more pow-
erful than their personal interests. I think of him as the pure intellectual,
full of discipline and rigor, but perhaps a bit impersonal. The old-world
ways of burying the personality for the sake of science prevailed in his
practice. And this was true to the point that when Jorg Guido Hulsmann
was writing his biography, he became amazed at how little documentation
he found on any personal issues. Mises lived the purest life of the mind,
Guido suggests.

Friedrich von Hayek ( 1 899 - 1 992 )

Hayek was a colleague of Mises’s who adopted a different style and
approach, first in Austria as a teacher faithful to the master and then later
in London as the popularizer and systemizer of Mises’s business-cycle the-
ory. His battles with the Keynesians and the Fabians, however, imparted to
him a strong sense of the importance of presentation in the war of ideas. He
was temperamentally disposed to seeing his opponent’s point of view; he
crafted his message in a way that was not merely true but also, in his view,
convincing.

He was not a system builder so much as a curious and brilliant scholar
who took on topics one at a time throughout a long life, a man whose posi-
tions on issues evolved in unpredictable ways. He was a dedicated propo-
nent of the gold standard who later (regrettably) suggested that some rein-
flation after a crisis might be necessary and (wisely) later came to the radical
defense of an immediate end to all central banking.

He penned compromises with the welfare state in one book and later
argued the “extreme” view that no forms of intervention can improve on
the natural evolution of the social order. He spoke about the common law
and the merit of evolved tradition, on the one hand, and in other writings
took a strictly libertarian view about property and the state. Then just when
you think that Hayek was a bit of a softy, you find an old interview with
him on national television holding a hard line on the topics of inflation and
unemployment.

Part of what makes Hayek interesting is precisely this sense of struggle
that you get in I ris writings, the sense that he is not presenting a finished pack-
age but working through topics in light of his scholarly understanding — as

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led by evidence and reflection. In this way, he leaves some very interesting
surprises. Of all the Austrians, he was strongest against “intellectual prop-
erty” and, before Rothbard, he might have been die most sympathetic to the
idea of a stateless society as a viable option. He never stopped learning and
never stopped his intellectual struggle.

Murray Rothbard ( 1 926 - 1 995 )

Rothbard was a system builder of a different sort, but more open, more
enthusiastic and spirited, a researcher whose theoretical apparatus seems to
have been largely in place from the time he put pen to paper, and certainly
by the time he finished his large treatise on economic theory. He took his
economics from Mises and his libertarianism from Chodorov and the old
American liberals, and knitted it all into a dazzling system of thought.

He had this remarkable capacity for teasing out the best from the
thoughts of all ages, devouring books like snacks, and putting what he
found into a model that applies in our times and all times.

The resulting outlook provided the perfect tableau for historical stud-
ies, and here, in my view, is where Rothbard’s work really takes flight. There
were no taboos, no unthinkable thoughts, no unspeakable phrases, no pre-
conceptions, no sacred cows. He was a discoverer whose hooks take the
reader through wild rides of villains and heroes, frauds and truth speakers,
tragic victims and triumphant struggles. Even the longest-dead characters
in history were still alive in Rothbard’s mind.

As for his rhetorical style, it was pure fire. Progress meant breaking the
model. He was committed to science but he was also ebullient in a way that
is uncharacteristic of great scholars. Fun doesn’t quite describe it. Just his
presence in a room made the entire event entertaining for everyone. He was
quick to laugh and he did so often and uproariously, and die juxtaposition
between radical theory and outrageous fun was irresistible.

Fighting the enemies of liberty was, for him, a gallant and thrilling
adventure, and fighting for liberty was pure joy. He had a way of regarding
every moment of life as something of historic importance. He could turn a
drab academic meeting into a memorable occasion, writing about it later
die same way that others might write about wars and revolutions. This is far
from Hayek, far fr om Mises, but completely captivating and thereby essen-
tial to the Rothbardian way.

Avoiding Austro-Flamewars

223

Three in One

So there we have it: the three tendencies of the Austro-libertarians
IVe seen online. We might sum up tire dominant traits as reasoned, reflec-
tive, and radical. That’s not to say that each of these three thinkers did not
embody all of these traits. We are speaking here of large tendencies stretch-
ing over three long lives, about dominant characteristics that one might take
from each thinker.

Nor is it the case that people working within this tradition must always
fall into a single category. Some days, we feel as radical as Rothbard, others
as reasoned and cool as Mises, and others as speculative and searching as
Hayek. Sometimes it depends on whom we have most recently read. Great
thinkers tend to have this effect on the world, transferring not only their
ideas but also their temperaments to those who are influenced by them.

Yes, there are tensions from time to time, but Mises.org communities
are proof that all three types can get along just fine, so long as no one is
prepared to purge the others, or otherwise push one style, one approach,
one method at the expense of the others. We can look at other figures in
the history of the school, people like Hazlitt or Hutt, or at modern think-
ers like Salerno or Hoppe, and see that they too embody a variety of these
approaches.

It is a hopeless task to attempt to impersonate anyone, and Mises.
org mavens cannot and should not do this for Mises or for Hayek or for
Rothbard. We can only learn from them and be inspired by them. To draw
insights from all sources is to create the kind of diversity that makes for a
vibrant and productive intellectual paradigm and an endlessly fascinating
website erected in the defense of liberty.

How to Improve the Culture

December 28, 2009

f | ^he culture is going to hell in a handbag, we’ve been told for hun-
dreds of years, and the free market gets a large share of the blame.
The observation stretches from Left to Right and everywhere in
between. It is universally agreed that letting markets run loose runs rough-
shod over all the finer things in life, from hooks to arts to clothing to

manners.

Mises himself traces this ideological tendency to 1 9th-century critic
John Ruskin, who “popularized the prejudice that capitalism, apart from
being a bad economic system, has substituted ugliness for beauty, pettiness
for grandeur, trash for art.” The same argument appears today in conserva-
tive periodicals, every week, as a built-in bias; everyone knows that markets
have unleashed a race to the bottom.

One response might be to say, This is not decline at all but just differ-
ence. Whether it’s opera or rap, frescos or graffiti, black tie or grunge, it
doesn’t really matter. Culture takes different forms in different times, so get
used to it.

I’m not really satisfied with that answer, mainly because of my own cul-
tural biases. My tastes in music predate Bach. Dancing to me means ballet.
Popular fiction I find insulting in every way. Kids, in my view, should spend
their time mastering piano rather than gaming on computers.

I admit that it would not be impossible for me to be mistaken for a snob.

And yet, I would like to offer a contrary view — but not in the form of a
big theory. Rather, consider some cases of cultural entrepreneurship that
made a real difference by the same means through which every innovation
comes about: risk taking, hard work, and marketing.

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Let’s begin with dance. Some ten years ago, I found myself at a ballet
recital for young people. I had expected something like we used to see on
GE commercials: little girls in tutus dancing to Tchaikovsky. Instead, the
girls danced to ridiculous rock music and danced without discipline at all,
flailing around this way and that. It was clear that they were learning no
technique at all. And yet the parents were wild for it.

I’m not against jazz and rock dance but to do it right requires a founda-
tion in ballet, which is the fundamental language of all dance in the West.
Those amazing dancers you see on Fosse — they knew ballet first. But in
these self-indulgent times, no one cares about discipline and hard work.
Everyone wants to jump right into the fun thing even if it looks stupid.

I left that recital despairing that another epoch of goodness had passed
into the night, replaced by a state of permanent slop. And then suddenly, out
of nowhere, a 20-something dance entrepreneur showed up in town and
opened a new studio, pricing her teaching below the competition. Through
good will, efficiency, low prices, and smiles all around, she attracted a slew
of new customers.

But this wasn’t just any ballet entrepreneur. She had an attachment to
the old ideals, old music, and old pedagogy. This is what she emphasized
and pushed. At the first recital after one year of operation, the parents of the
students all enjoyed the recital with new standards: the classical training, the
old-world music, great attention to costumes, and all the trappings everyone
once expected in real ballet. The parents cheered to the high heavens the
glories of these kids and the program.

And so, voila! In one year, thanks to one entrepreneur with a vision and
tire dedication to carry it out, the local culture is massively and dramatically
improved — the Old World and its high standards carried on toward the
future. I looked back at my previous despair with embarrassment. It turns
out that there was nothing inevitable about cultural decline. All it takes is
one person to make the change.

Let’s move on to the subject of children’s choirs. Since the ancient
world, children’s choirs have been the incubator of great musicians for the
future. But today? It’s a disaster. If there are choirs at all, they are taught pop
tunes, bad technique, American Idol approaches, all of which end in creat-
ing would-he stars who never really do the hard work necessary for serious
music-making in any field. The result is inevitable: a musically ignorant cul-
ture, and no real choirs at all.

But right here in my own town a woman decided to change that with a
civic chorus of children. In the first year there were 25, and in the second

How to Improve the Culture

227

that doubled, and then a chorus of older children was split off. They wear
concert clothing and sing all the classic repertoire, even music in Latin.
They have a rigorous schedule of rehearsals, very much like sports team
practices. They learn technique and discipline. The parents love it! And the
choir is singing all over town in a wonderful way.

To be sure, the director does not make the big bucks. She works
extremely hard, giving private lessons and working with parents and spend-
ing far more time on this project than the payoff would seem to dictate. But
she does it anyway because she has a passion for it and she is living out a
dream.

Because of this one cultural entrepreneur, the community is changed.

Now, in both cases, we see that it could have gone the other way. If these
two people had not come along with the desire to raise the standards and
provide a valuable service, another generation’s cultural education would
have been missed. Instead, they both acted and took a risk. As a result, their
legacy on this earth will outlive them.

Another case in point concerns a new immigrant family from India who
opened a wonderful new Indian restaurant in a town overrun with fast-food
chains and chicken-finger shacks. Everyone I know has long bemoaned the
lack of great foreign cuisine here. It’s the first point cited as evidence that
this backwoods place has been given over to the capitalist pigs.

Then one day it was there: an Indian restaurant as good as any that one
would find in any major city in the world, with a vast and varied menu and
all the ambience one would want. And what made it possible? Not the over-
throw of the capitalist order but rather the risk, hard work, and dedication
of a single entrepreneur. Again, there was no guarantee that this would hap-
pen. It was a choice that was made by one individual. He and his family
decided to open the restaurant.

Mises’s fundamental point about the cultural critique of capitalism was
that capitalism makes more of everything available to the consumer. That
means more trashy novels and rotten music, but it also means more great lit-
erature and high-level music, all of which is accessible as never before.

But today, cultural entrepreneurs are seriously inhibited in their inno-
vations by high taxes, regulations, and mandated benefits. This produces
fewer attempts to improve our world than there would otherwise be. Some
markets are hobbled to the point of near inaction, such as the education
market, and others are less vibrant than they would otherwise be.

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So what we need is not the overthrow of private property but more
freedom for cultural entrepreneurship, and more individual initiative to do
more than complain that the world is not conforming to your own values.
The next time someone complains about what the market is doing to the
culture, ask that person what he or she has done to enter the market and
make a difference. And ask what that person has done to make the world
freer for those who seek to make the world a more beautiful place.

FOOD

Dealing with Failure

November 1,2007

D ealing with personal failure is one of the great struggles of growing
up. When we are young, the possibilities seem without limit, but as
the years pass, we face every manner of barrier that causes us to be
all too aware that we face a world with many constraints, many of them due
to the limits of the temporal world but also, we must admit, many of them
due to our own inadequacies.

I’m thinking in particular of my great failure to become a heavy
drinker — I mean a serious, quaff-it-down-every-niglrt, devil-may-care kind
of drinker. I think back to when I was a young man, and how I split the
world between two types of people: those who seriously drink, managing
their lives well and enjoying every minute; and the other type who have a
“glass of wine at dinner” but nothing else.

How I heaped disdain on the latter type — those puritans who poured
up a tiny glass for purely functional purposes only, such as to “relax after a
hard day’s work,” or to “cleanse the palate during dinner.” How they col-
lected bottles and talked so sweetly about vintages and labels and smelled
their wine long and hard. How pathetic!

At dinner parties, some well-dressed man would refuse a cocktail —
you might as well not come at all — and then lovingly take little sips of grape
extract with the meal. When the host or hostess offers to pour another glass,
the gesture arrives: the hand over the glass! It’s as if to say: I refuse to live
robustly as part of this gang. I’m too weak, too precious, to handle more.

So many of our influences in life are of a negative kind, people we observe
and swear: I will never be like that. But I’m here to confess that I am indeed
like that. It is not something I ever wanted. I wanted to be that other man who

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drank two double scotches before dinner, two or three glasses of wine during
dinner, a brandy after dinner, and finally some peculiar liqueur with dessert.

If I drank like that now, I would be in intensive care and miss work for
weeks.

I’m not entirely sure when the softening and compromises set in.
Instead of two highballs before dinner, I would secretly and inauspiciously
have one. Then during dinner, I started to drink more slowly and then use
water to quench dinner thirst — a very bad sign. Then the whole brandy
tiring was cut, as was the fancy liqueur bit. Once I gave up the before-dinner
liquor, it was straight into the abyss.

In the course of all of this, there were people who said that the problem
was that I was relenting and thereby becoming less tolerant of alcohol. I was
digging my own grave, so to speak. So I tried to prevent this by deliberately
drinking more than I wanted in hopes of increasing my tolerance. Maybe I
had to go through several weeks of not feeling well in the morning before I
could restore my old level. Sadly, this didn’t work at all.

Eventually I gave in to reality and my own defeat. I became what I had
once lightly loathed.

My second major failure in life deals with my lifetime ambition to be
a heavy smoker until I died. Here I had many positive influences. These
influences were from all classes of people. I’ve seen men in their eighties
who were still pack-a-day smokers. Because they smoked so late in life, they
still looked cool. They were good conversationalists because smoking gave
them time to think before they spoke. I recall a banker who smoked and
looked like a 1930s movie star well into his dotage. Then there was a coal
miner who rolled his own cigarettes until his nineties. Every puff seemed
to reveal a personal biography of courage and strength in hard times, and a
marvelous and manly fighting spirit. He just had a way about him that was
fabulous, and that cigarette seemed to sum it all up. Such style!

Like most smokers, I had a promising start when I was young, though
of course it was a struggle at first. When you first start, you can’t smoke
more than five a day without gagging. But gradually, you can increase that to
10 and finally, to the real goal, a pack a day. This I achieved in less than six
months. I vowed to keep this up until the last day.

You can only imagine my thrill when I bumped it up further to two packs
a day, and finally three. Now, I admit that my bragging rights are limited since
I tended to light up incessantly and most of these cigarettes burned up in the
ash tray. Even so, I was well on my way toward achieving my dream.

Dealing with Failure

231

At some point, however, problems began to set in. There were rules,
of course, about smoking in the office, and these rules tightened over time.
Then the airline restrictions came along. Then restrictions in restaurants.
But as much as I hated the state for curbing my ambitions, there was a more
fundamental problem developing: my lungs just couldn’t take it anymore.

Of course I was in denial, but as the bouts of coughing and sickness
increased, I finally had to face the fact that there was a problem. No, I didn’t
stop altogether. First I smoked a pipe. Now here was a new image that
worked just fine! But all that apparatus — the cleaners, the bag of tobacco,
the special lighter, the dirty fingers, and bulky pipe itself— became an
annoyance. So next came: the cigar! But this introduced other problems.
The expense was prohibitive and, frankly, people hated the smell.

Eventually, and much to my dread, I had to face the fact that I would
have to quit it altogether. It was a humbling moment but an unavoidable one.

I share all of this in the hope of helping others who have faced similar
defeats, and letting them know that they are not alone. We all stumble.

Perhaps too there are lessons here in avoiding defeat itself. Perhaps
there is a way to work up to becoming a lifetime heavy drinker and smoker
by taking it all at a slower pace.

Perhaps one should set a schedule, and only hope to achieve the height
at the age of 60, or something like that.

And a key question will always haunt me: perhaps I should have started
smoking and drinking earlier, before I was fully grown. Perhaps then my
bodily system might have become more accustomed to the habit and not
reacted so negatively by the time I turned 30. Then I might have kept it up
until a blessed old age.

Always remember that there is no better time for smoking and drink-
ing than when you are young, when your system can handle it. As you grow
older, you never know the ways in which the body will fight back against
your dreams to smoke and drink heavily forever.

In any case, there is no sense in giving up hope. There is still the great
lift that comes from observing others who have not similarly failed but
rather stayed attached to their ideals. Nor will I give up hope in myself. To
paraphrase someone, I’m no failure because I’m not yet dead.

Fortune Cookie Economics

August 28, 2006

H ave you noticed how the texts of the “fortunes” in fortune cookies
seem to be improving? In contrast to the old days when the fortune
was a mere throw-away, these days, the language is clearer. The
thoughts are more profound. Some of them are real keepers.

Is this a consequence of China’s having become more capitalistic?

While I can’t comment on the “lucky numbers” printed on them — who
knows? — the last four fortunes I received in my cookies just astounded me
with their erudition (even without adding any words at the end of them).
Indeed they seemed to sum up the essence of core postulates of Austrian
Economics!

The value lies not within any particular
thing, but in the desire placed on that thing.
Lucky Numbers 11,2, 38, 44, 21 , 8

Let’s see, and keep in mind that these are real.

Now, here we have a popular ^
summary of the subjective theory
of value. Value is not embedded
in the material properties of any
good or service. Neither does a
thing acquire value merely because labor was employed to create it. Value
is not dictated by the production process or social conditioning. An eco-
nomic good is valued because an individual mind values it. It is a product of
the human mind.

As Menger says:

Value is therefore nodring inherent in goods, no property of
them, but merely the importance drat we first attribute to dre
satisfaction of our needs, drat is, to our lives and well-being,

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Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

and in consequence carry over to economic goods as the
exclusive causes of the satisfaction of our needs.

Next we come to a further condition that affects economic valuation:

A bargain is not a bargain unless you
can use the product.

Lucky Numbers 17,31,7,48,41,5

Admittedly, this fortune is
not quite as scientific but it makes
a good point. Prices are tire result
of the interaction of subjective
valuation and objective condi-
tions of the relative availability of a good. They represent a historical record
of trades that have already taken place. They do not and cannot dictate the
future.

And yet even given a good with a certain price on the market, the desir-
ability of a good cannot be imposed on others. It must be adopted and
accepted by buyers, who assess prices based on individual usefulness.

Or as Mises says,

It is ultimately always the subjective value judgments of

individuals that determine the formation of prices The

concept of a “just” or “fair” price is devoid of any scientific
meaning; it is a disguise for wishes, a striving for a state of
affairs different from reality. Market prices are entirely deter-
mined by the value judgments of men as they really act.

u m So let us accept the fortune

cookie’s implied claim that past
data cannot somehow dictate our
actions and therefore the future.
The market is always looking for-
ward. Our actions to buy or sell or invest or save are always a speculation, a
judgment call. Nowhere is this more clear than in tire institution of entrepre-
neurship, about which the next fortune speaks:

Given the forward-looking nature of tire market process, and the human
desire for economic development, there must be individuals who can imag-
ine a future that is yet to be experienced, invest real resources in seeing their
judgment come to pass in the production process, and thereby enjoy the
rewards to come from profitability. This person is the entrepreneur-capi-
talist: the dreamer who imagines a possible future and then commits real
resources to making that future happen.

The market process does not stop with one entrepreneurial suc-
cess. Profits call forth emulators, people attracted to a certain idea or

Dreams are extremely important. You
can't do it unless you imagine it.
Lucky Numbers 37, 2, 17, 8, 49, 4

Fortune Cookie Economics

235

sector because a good or service is yielding high profits. For example, if a
software entrepreneur comes up with an excellent anti-spyware program
and becomes rich, others will take notice and enter the market and provide
competition.

The method of success becomes part of the social store of knowl-
edge that others are free to acquire and employ for their own use. As more
producers enter the market, the result will be lower prices (if nothing else
changes) and reduced profits for each producer.

In short, the successful entrepreneur will attract many people who
strive to be just like him. His sucess in making his dreams become reality
provides a model for others who do the same. Following the text of the for-
tune, we can call these people “friends.”

In prosperity, our friends know us; in
adversity, we know our friends.
Lucky Numbers 28, 33, 48, 9, 40, 37

The fortune is already ahead
of us here, because it also speaks
the reality of losses. Let us never
forget that capitalism is not only
about profits, which win friends.

As Rothbard says, entrepreneurs also face the prospect of losses, some-
times big losses. When this happens, people flee our adversity. We lose our
friends. We are humbled, and learn from our errors. We then look to others
who are making profits and follow their ways, and the process continues
without end, to the continual improvement of our standard of living.

If China’s path to economic development continues on an upward
path, can we expect ever-increasing economic sophistication from fortune
cookies? I heartily await other fortunes that discuss capital theory, interest
rates, the business cycle, and perhaps even price controls. If some entrepre-
neur wants to take the risk and create them, and I find them in my next set of
cookies, I promise to scan them and make them famous. In your prosperity,
your friends will know you.

Pound for Pound

September 28, 2005

r I ^here’s a sense these days that anyone would favor a pie over a cake,
and I think I know why. Pies don’t tempt household cooks to scrimp
on ingredients. That’s why pies generally taste better.

If it’s apples, it’s apples, and most people don’t think a half a cup of
sugar in something is “too much.” So it is for lemon and blueberry and a
host of other pies made from fruit. As for the seasonal pumpkin pie, it’s just
vegetables in a crust, so who is to complain? Even pecan lives in the age of
the decline of dessert, since most people think corn syrup is not objection-
able, even if the pecan pie requires two cups.

But cake? People don’t have the stomach to make a good one anymore.
So we buy ice-cream “cakes” for birthdays for kids and otherwise don’t
bother. When people do bother to bake a cake, they succumb to the temp-
tation to substitute ingredients. Instead of butter, they use margarine or
mezoline spreads of whipped smear stuff of some sort or another. And then
they cut back the sugar, and use strange sugar-like chemicals. And perhaps
instead of eggs, its “egg beaters” or who-knows-what. Pretty soon, there’s
nothing left but a vague cake-shaped object.

The cake seems to have fallen on hard times indeed! We eat them when
we are at buffets and civic events when they are available on paper plates,
but that’s because we weren’t there to see them being made. Cakes have
become like sausage: we love it hut don’t want to know about the process,
much less undertake it ourselves.

This is why the world’s greatest cake — I speak of the pound cake of
course — is so hard to come by in American homes these days. It is contrary
to the prevailing ethos, which is all about “substitutes” rather than the real

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Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

tiling. We spritz our pans with veggie oil rather than lard them as we should.
We use fractioned rather than whole milk. We fear flour as if it is poison.

Modern civilization has given us glorious ingredients at our fingertips,
all of us wherever we are, and what do we do but ungratefully spurn them
all as if real food is nothing but a conspiracy to cut our lives short. Then
when nature calls us to eat as we should, we give in to temptation and eat ice
cream and candy bars in private as if we are partaking in secret sins.

What a dreadful life this puritanical attitude of mind leads to!

The pound cake is the key to breaking this cycle of false piety followed
by guilt. It is the cake that embraces our age and says yes to life and love.

To begin with, you have to appreciate a food with a history to its name.
In the middle ages, the term cake itself referred to a bread that was sweet-
ened. According to this history, the pound cake dates to the early 18th cen-
tury, and was favored because its ingredients were easy to remember: one
pound each of four things. It was improved immeasurably (in my view) by
tire invention of rising agents in the 19 th century.

Then it became an international food.

In France: Gateau Quatre-Quarts.

In Spain: Queque Seco.

In Germany: Sandkuchen

Traditions, even international ones stretching back centuries, are great
but never decisive. What convinces you of the pound cake’s magnificence is
tire tasting. Here we have the perfect dessert treat. It is subtle, balanced, and
robust. The texture is spongy but not flaky. It is moist without having the
uncooked pudding-like quality you get from those “extra-moist” box jobs
you buy at the store. Nor it is puffy and dry as so many homemade cakes
can be (a result of pulling back on essential ingredients).

The other stopping point for many people today is the name pound
cake, which sounds like something that will put on pounds. It might as well
be called calorie cake or scale-busting cake or make-you-fat cake.

So let us be clear: the pound part refers not to its effects but to its ingre-
dients. Now, to be sure, making it is not for the faint of heart.

Pound one: You know those boxes of butter that have four sticks of but-
ter in them? You will use the whole box.

Pound number two: Do you know how much sugar is required to
weigh in at a pound? Two cups.

Pound for Pound

239

Pound number three: Are you worried about your cholesterol intake
from too many eggs? This cake requires half a dozen. That’s half a carton.

Pound number four: Flour, Dr. Atkins, and three full cups!

If that sounds alarming to you, and you aren’t prepared to face the reality
that making something astonishingly delicious requires these ingredients, do
not read further. If you would rule out making this just on grounds of its dec-
adent ingredients alone, drop out of this article right now. You can continue
to be part of the problem rather than part of the solution, as is your right.

But for those who want to take history in their hands and help bend it
back toward sanity in cooking and taste in eating, the pound cake can recap-
ture our history and lead us to the future.

The pound cake can be eaten by itself, or with coffee or hot chocolate.
It can have a side of sweetened fruit or ice cream. It can be glazed with sugar
or merely dusted with powered sugar. It can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, or
after dinner. Can you imagine this as a midnight snack? Even the thinnest
slice is satisfying.

After trying other variations, here is the one I settled on (pounds ren-
dered here as normal measurements):

Mixed dry ingredients: 3 cups flour, Z> tsp. salt, V% tsp. baking soda,

1 tsp. baking powder, 2 cups of sugar. Pour in 4 sticks of melted butter,

2 tsps. vanilla, and stir lightly. Add Yu cup of sour cream, Y* cup milk, and six
eggs. Blend on slow. Bake in tube pan, buttered and floured, at 325 degrees
Fahrenheit for 1 hour and 20 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean.
Cool for half an hour.

Now I ask you: wouldn’t you choose this cake over a pie?

The Work of Human Hands

October 9, 2002

W ar is coining, we’re still in recession, the public is still angry about
9-11 (hey, is all this connected?), so we must do something to
rekindle a sense of joy in our own private lives. But what? What
people on the home front have always done: throw themselves into the
domestic arts, preferably something that is beyond the time and connects us
with ancient truth. For my part, it is all about bread.

I know that bread is out and meat is in. In the Age of Atkins, bread is the
great taboo, the thing that puts inches on your frame. Anti-breadism runs
rampant.

And yet, we must keep some perspective here. Some things in life are
not dispensable, no matter what the dietary trends. Bread is among them.
Man cannot live on it alone, but it isn’t called the staff of life for nothing. It
is the substance Christ chose to become, through the sacrament of commu-
nion, His own Body. Surely that means something.

We should not contemplate life without bread any more than we should
imagine living without wine, the choice of which to become Precious Blood
makes Prohibition and teetotalism radically objectionable.

Once you accept the inevitability of bread, that it must be fresh from
your own kitchen is proven by a taste test of the greatest store bread against
bread from even a moderately good home baker. The results speak for
themselves.

Now, quick breads have much to recommend them. I favor the mix
from the old (and out of print) Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook (10
cups flour, 2 cups lard (yes, lard), V:i cup baking powder, one-quarter cup
sugar, some salt) , which turns into biscuits, pancakes, or muffins in no time.

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Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

This repertoire is a regional favorite, and the kids love it. It is quick, easy,
and versatile.

I don’t know if other quick-bread people are the same way, but I’ve
found the prospect of cooking with yeast intimidating. In college, I thought
I had it all figured out. On Sundays, I would make six loaves of bread, eat
one, and give tire rest away. But it only took one bad experience in a mucky
coastal town (the bread wouldn’t rise!) and I gave it up.

But social and political calamity calls for taking new risks. So, yeast
bread it is. And yeast is all about giving life and avoiding death that comes
from the wrong temperature. We are fortunate nowadays to have access to
electronic temperature checkers. For those of us without infallible wrist-
based temperature gauges, these are a godsend for getting the yeast to 100
degrees and the milk-sugar-butter mixture to 1 10 degrees before the addi-
tion of eggs cools it down a bit more. One mistake can kill the yeast, so the
gadgetry is a help.

What kind of bread? This is the real glory: the ritual of the dough
itself. Once you understand it, and can make this part, anything is possible.
Baguettes? Sure. Cinnamon rolls? Homemade are the best. Or make just
plain white bread, eat a slice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and French
toast tomorrow morning. Somehow, just the smell of it provides comfort
and security, a sense that all is right in the home even if not in the world.

And as much as we love technology, as much as we favor time-saving
devices, ideally bread should be the work of human hands. The mixing and
kneading is tire very essence of what bread making is all about. Turn the job
over to a machine, and you drain the entire exercise of life and joy. Why not
just buy bread at the store?

When you give some of your bread away (as you should), you don’t
really want to say that you used a bread machine, do you? You want to say
that you mixed and kneaded it yourself. And why does this please people?
Because it suggests integrity and truth, that you care enough to mix your
labor with basic ingredients to generate a new creation, and do this for
another as a pious act of generosity.

We have all seen those flour commercials that claim that this or that
product gives you confidence in what you cook. Perhaps. But it’s not really
the product that matters. It is the doing itself. When you make bread, you
are given a sense of extraordinary accomplishment, as if you have conjured
up something spectacular out of nothing. This sense spills over to life itself,
granting you an overall confidence, the belief that whatever else is going
on around you, you have within you the capacity to create glorious things,

The Work of Human Hands

243

things that rise and grow and become something completely new and
life-sustaining.

I’m sorry, but quick-bread just doesn’t have these mystical properties.
Neither, for that matter, do meats and vegetables. Bread alone among all
foods seems to touch the very soul of man and contains within it the power
to remake our spirits and bring us life.

Make one loaf, one pan of cinnamon rolls, one baguette, and you have a
vision of yourself doing it every week, or every day. It seems possible.

Anything seems possible. Making bread all the time could become a
part of the liturgy of life, and then — and then — you are complete. Though
the politicians call for war, the stock market sinks, the terrorists plot, as a
baker of bread you are the bringer of life and health and happiness to your-
self and die world of your own choosing.

Bring Back the Breakfast Drink

July 16,2005

E veryone knows the rule: drink no liquor before noon. How insuf-
ferable such advice is! It has caused morning drinkers to hide their
habits, deny them when confronted, and otherwise feel like they are
doing something wrong or immoral or socially intolerable, a combination
which leads to other forms of pathology.

It is time for them to stand up and proclaim themselves and their habit
as the noble act that it is. All over the world, there exists a grand tradition
of including a bit of spirits with one’s breakfast, or at least a bit of beer or
wine. How tragic that those who struggle mightily to uphold this practice
are reduced to doing so alone, enjoying their pleasure only in the privacy of
their own kitchen for fear of inviting public humiliation.

I was reminded of this tradition recently when a friend — a brilliant and
productive young composer and musicologist who has to remain name-
less — partook in his favorite breakfast, which he does every day insofar as it
is possible. The food part is simple: a chocolate cake donut, with or without
icing. The drink part: a pint of Guinness Stout. The method: dip the donut
in the stout and chomp it down. It is the adult version of the child’s milk
and cookies trick.

Splendid!

It turns out that in the sweep of history, when water was not always safe
and orange juice rarely accessible, this practice of morning drinking was the
norm for all classes in society, and remained so for the upper classes far into
tire modern age. We forget that coffee and tea are relatively modern by com-
parison. In the middle ages, the typical British breakfast always included a
mug of ale or wine.

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Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

In the South today, the tradition seems to bypass the middle class com-
pletely and last only among the truly well-formed working class blacks and
upper class white aristocrats. A maintenance man I knew would never
touch the “government’s liquor” but he would never start a day without a
nice swig of his favorite moonshine.

I tried it once and it took two days for my lips to feel normal again! But
he managed it quite well, worked hard, and had a great life.

Also, I know a delightfully old-world Southern gentleman who lives in
an antebellum house and studies Holy Scripture every morning, the origi-
nal Greek and Hebrew, and does this before he ever picks up the newspa-
per. His theory is that mornings are not for rushing around but rather con-
templation of higher things.

One day I came during these early hours just for quick visit, and he
invited me in.

“Would you like a cup of coffee, Jeffrey?” he asked.

“Yes sir, I would, thank you,” I said.

Then he paused and said, with an impossibly charming flash in his eyes:

“Would you like some bourbon in that coffee?”

Well, of course I would! And so it was done.

Today most breakfast drinking takes place on airplanes. Why? Because
we are surrounded by people we are not likely to see again, and so we feel
a sense of freedom from artificial social impositions. If you think about it,
once tire silly taboo against breakfast drinking is crushed, many possibilities
present themselves.

If you ask people their favorite breakfast drinks, and press tire issue, you
eventually find that in addition to the ones above, these are the best beloved:

The Bloody Mary: It is made from a jigger and a half of vodka, a few
drops of Tabasco sauce, 3 jiggers of tomato juice, pepper, some lemon juice,
salt, and a bit of Worcestershire sauce.

The mimosa: champagne and orange juice to taste. But actually you can
add champagne to any fruit juice and create an amazingly festive break of
day. It’s unclear precisely what makes the difference, but I have a theory that
it is just the popping of the champagne cork first thing in the morning. You
can try this at home. Wake up late, shower, and then pull out and open a
chilled bottle. The action alone creates a bigger rush than you can get from
any evening martini.

Bring Back the Breakfast Drink

247

Both of these drinks today are called “doghair drinks” as in the old say-
ing that one should eat a bit of the hair of the dog that bit you. Strange say-
ing, but it refers to the idea that one should have a bit more of the same
drink of which you drank too much the night before, all toward the goal of
curing the hangover.

Do you see what is happening here? The breakfast drink is being snuck
in under the label of medicine as a way of evading the social taboo against
liquor before noon. That’s just silly. You don’t need an excuse, particularly
not a medicinal one. You can have a Bloody Mary or a mimosa anytime!

Along the same lines there is mm and 7-Up, mm and apple cider, and
this interesting one just called “the breakfast drink”: jigger vodka, jigger
peach schnapps, cup of orange juice, 2 jiggers raspberry liqueur, Zz cup of
collins mix. Fascinating!

For all the wonders and complications of that latter suggestion, I still
can’t get past the simplicity and clarity of my favorite of all time: a small glass
of port wine.

Maybe it is an age thing. I like the idea of the Guinness, the courage
it takes to drink moonshine, the fussiness that comes with a mimosa, the
bold stroke of the Bloody Mary, and the sheer decadence associated with
“the breakfast drink” but somehow the clarity and stability of the glass of
port — which recalls the glory of colonial America — seems just right and just
what is needed to join the movement to smash this ridiculous taboo against
morning drinking.

A final note on a frequent objection: morning drinking diminishes
one’s productivity during the day. This is true, of course, but particularly
for adults who process liquor more slowly. This underscores a point that
cannot he emphasized enough: like smoking, morning drinking is particu-
larly suited for the young, meaning under the age of 25. Their systems are
robust and can handle it better. Don’t waste your youth: it is up to you to
bring back the breakfast drink!

BOOKS

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Government

February 9, 2006

E ver since there has been government, there have been those who want
to purify it from its excesses and corruptions, rid it of its grafters and
operators, and cleanse it from any taint of the sin of private interest.

Government should serve the people with an eye to the common good,
tlrey declare, and it should be part of the solution to the problem of evil in
the world, and not contribute to the problem itself. Government, in short,
should be good!

The naivete of good-government ideology is more widespread than is
usually supposed. Those who want government to do some things always,
but do other things never, embrace the same ideal.

The Left is scandalized by a government that plunders foreign nations
and spies on its citizens’ private lives, but urges that same government to
plunder property owners and spy on their commercial lives. The Right is
disgusted by a government that slathers billions on deadbeats and ne’er-do-
wells, but wants the same government to squander billions on military con-
tractors and goons that enforce bad law.

If only we could separate the good from the evil!

Of course there is no agreement on what constitutes the good and evil,
but both Left and Right will forever agonize about why they must put up
with what they don’t like in order to get what they do like out of govern-
ment. But it is an unstable compromise, and thus do both sides work con-
stantly to somehow make government do the good things (however defined)
but not the bad things (however defined).

Now to the literary metaphor.

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Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Robert L. Stevenson’s classic novel Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was not
just about a person whose personality changed because of a potion he
drank. Dr. Jekyll was an idealist who was annoyed at the constant presence
of the tension between good and evil that lived within him. He sought to
separate them from each other, so that Dr. Jekyll could have pure motives in
all he did and never be tempted toward evil, while his alter ego could pur-
sue bad works without tainting the good Doctor.

As he puts it:

It was on the moral side, and in my own person, that I
learned to recognise the thorough and primitive duality of
man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the
field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said
to be either, it was only because I was radically both; and
from an early date, even before the course of my scientific
discoveries had begun to suggest the most naked possibil-
ity of such a miracle, I had learned to dwell with pleasure,
as a beloved daydream, on the thought of the separation
of these elements. If each, I told myself, could be housed
in separate identities, life would be relieved of all that was
unbearable; the unjust might go his way, delivered from
tire aspirations and remorse of his more upright twin; and
tire just could walk steadfastly and securely on his upward
path, doing the good things in which he found his plea-
sure, and no longer exposed to disgrace and penitence by
the hands of this extraneous evil. It was the curse of man-
kind that these incongruous faggots were thus bound
together — that in the agonised womb of consciousness,
these polar twins should be continuously struggling. How,
then were they dissociated?

Dr. Jekyll finds a way, thanks to a scientific process he fails to reveal
that involves some scarce salts. He drinks the potion. Incredibly, he is
transformed into another person who is shorter, hairier, more primitive in
emotions and desires, and completely callous toward the fate of everyone
but himself. Mr. Hyde is a loathsome character who feels no remorse, and
whose very presence discombobulates everyone around him. He is tire very
embodiment of evil. Eventually he is guilty of murder.

He drinks the potion again, and turns hack into Dr. Jekyll. But there
is a hitch. Whereas Dr. Hyde was pure evil, Dr. Jekyll is not pure good. He
is the same mix of tensions that he was before. Reverting to his old self, he

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Government

251

was nothing more than “that incongruous compound of whose reformation
and improvement I had already learned to despair. The movement was thus
wholly toward the worse.”

Well, that’s a pretty good description of the results of most good-gov-
ernment legislation. It creates new obstacles for the old evil forms to get
through but strengthens tire evil by making the public less wary of it. A gov-
ernment perceived as righteous is more dangerous than one that is looked
upon with suspicion. Sometimes corrupt government can actually be better
than good government, if it means that unjust and unworkable laws can be
bypassed through bribes and graft.

Every few years, for example, Washington, D.C., elects a mayor who
promises a clean sweep of the bad and a restoration of the good. A bar owner
there once told a reporter that he always dreads these changes, because it
means that absurd fire codes and license requirements are enforced to the
hilt. Under a corrupt regime, he needs only to bribe a few policemen and
bureaucrats. Under good government, he has to cough up tens of thousands
for lobbying groups, lawyers, and legislative specialists in order to keep his
business running.

“Good government” seeks to give us all the government we pay for, and
who can but rue the day that this happens?

In the Stevenson hook, Mr. Hyde grows stronger as he spends time sep-
arate from Dr. Jekyll. He is unleashed, unchecked by conscience. Whereas
he was once a temporary indulgence, he eventually becomes a full-time
obsession even as the good side of Dr. Jekyll seems to become less robust
and shrink.

So it is with good-government movements. Once the state is reformed,
tire next step is obvious: a clean state that does wonderful things, untainted
by nefarious practices, should be permitted to expand to do those good
tilings with more liberality and efficacy. Thus has every government reform
movement in the last century and a half ended up expanding rather than
shrinking the state. And the expanded state does not end up doing good;
it draws ever more evil to its side and results in an expansion rather than a
shrinking of corruption.

The same is true of the pressure groups that have a selective interest in
the activities of the state. The Right believes the government should pro-
vide for die common defense but in so believing turns a blind eye to ghastly
abuses that occur in wartime. The Left believes that tire government should
redistribute wealth, and thereby pretends not to notice that this requires

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increasing violence against property and subsidizes the worst propensities
of human nature.

As government grows ever bigger in the guise of doing good, its capac-
ity for doing evil expands at a far more rapid rate. Whatever true good that
government might be capable of doing is swamped by growing levels of cor-
ruption, graft, payoffs, violence, arbitrary rule, and all the rest of the institu-
tions that the movement was trying to make go away.

Here we have the real lesson of the misbegotten idea that government
can be purified. As Dr. Jekyll admits later: “I have been made to learn that
tire doom and burthen of our life is bound for ever on man’s shoulders, and
when the attempt is made to cast it off, it but returns upon us with more
unfamiliar and more awful pressure.”

Don’t administer a potion. Just shrink it until it goes away.

Who Is Garet Garrett?

October 25, 2007

I f Garet Garrett (1878-1954) is known at all today, it is by those who are
captivated by tire handful of intellectuals who wrote in opposition to the
New Deal planning state and the regimentation of national life it brought
about. They were a rare breed, but there is much more to Garrett than peo-
ple know.

Having spent several months steeped in his work, reading everything
by him I could find, I remain completely flabbergasted that he is not better
known. We go about our lives assuming that there is some magic force of
history that causes quality work to last and inferior works to fall by the way-
side. What a myth. Garrett is a case study in a forgotten genius. How did it
happen? War? Depression? Politics? I don’t know. I can only say that he
should rank among tire master novelists and politico-economist journalists
of the last century.

Ludwig von Mises recognized this: “His keen penetration and his
forceful direct language are . . . unsurpassed by any author.” He was speak-
ing in particular about Garrett’s book The People’s Pottage { 1953), which is
a collection of three powerful essays that had appeared earlier, and was on
the reading list of the “Old Right” that died out by the early 1960s. Why
did this movement die out? The Cold War against communism became the
priority for the Right, while the Left had long ago embraced the New Deal
as it its own. Garrett, whose featured writings in the Saturday Evening Post
were once read and celebrated by millions, had been relegated to obscurity
by a generation that believed they had nothing to learn from prewar popular
intellectuals.

Despite astonishing eloquence and prescience, Garrett’s stirring attacks
on the New Deal and condemnations of the American imperial mindset

253

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found few takers in the Cold War era. Meanwhile, his earlier career as a
business journalist and wonderful novelist in the 1920s had been entirely
forgotten by the 1950s.

This is a tragedy because both his nonfiction and his novels display
a most rare talent and offer more than a mere condemnation of the New
Deal government. He not only wrote in opposition to war; his entire oeuvre
offers a sparkling vision of peace under free markets as well. Whereas many
intellectuals on the Right and Left regard the peaceful, bourgeois society as
something of a bore — with the middle class amassing wealth and spending
it on fripperies — Garrett saw peace and freedom as the essential precondi-
tion for the real drama of human life that revolves around creation, associa-
tion, love, courage, and the full range of human vices and virtues that trans-
form society in spectacular ways.

He began to write fiction after Warren G. Harding had called for a
“return to normalcy” after World War I. But for Garrett, “normalcy” was
civilization itself. For example, The Driver (1922), The Cinder Buggy
(1923), and Satan’s Bushel (1924) are novels that tell great stories about
American history, with complex plot and character development, in which
the glorious drama of commercial life plays the central role. These novels
show that you don’t need war as a backdrop in order to make a story of
national life. These novels chronicle dramatic social and economic transfor-
mations in die context of fierce struggle and great risk — all within the frame-
work of peace.

Garrett was not a trained economist but his knowledge of economic
forces was so profound that he wrote the first full and widely circulated
explanation, in line with the Austrian School tradition, of the 1929 stock
market crash. The Bubble that Broke the World (1932) placed the blame
on an overextension of credit made possible by the Federal Reserve; this
created, said Garrett, a false prosperity that led to a correction. This book
alone is proof that his journalism continued through the Depression and
war, always with a decidedly and even radically libertarian cast.

As an example of his forgotten legacy, one of his last works was a won-
derful history of the Ford Motor Company called The Wild Wheel (1952).
John Chamberlain said that this book “should have been the bible for col-
lege students of productivity, but in the 1950s it had been forgotten.” 1

1 A Life with the Printed Word, John Chamberlain (Regnery Gateway 1982), p. 139.

Who Is Garet Garrett?

255

The Life of Garrett

Garet Garrett was born Peter Garrett (he later changed his name to
match his pen name) in Pana, Illinois, to Charles and Mary Garrett on
February 19, 1878. 2 His formal education was very slight — only through
the third grade — but his independent study took him through all the clas-
sics, as shown by the remarkable erudition of his writings. His influence
in economics came primarily through a book by the American mathemati-
cian/astronomer Simon Newcomb: Principles of Political Economy (1886).
Newcomb was an advocate of the gold standard and laissez-faire, an early
convert to the marginalist revolution through William Stanley Jevons, and
a fighting opponent of socialism, institutionalism, and historicism. So Gar-
rett’s Austrianism is present, but in a back-door way, via William Stanley
Jevons and the American hard-money school of tire late 19th century.

He left for Chicago at the age of 20 and worked as a reporter for the
Cleveland Recorder and then later covered politics in Washington, D.C.,
writing reports on the administration of William McKinley for the Washing-
ton Times. In 1900, he left for New York. He vanished for three years, or, at
least, no one seems to know what happened to him. But in 1903, he joined
tire staff of the New York Sun as a financial writer. He moved on to the New
York Times and the Wall Street Journal until he joined the New York Eve-
ning Post in 1909.

It was in this period that he met his lifelong friend, Bernard Baruch,
who wrote of him,

Garrett was a frequent visitor This small, round,

intense dynamo of a man was then with the New York Eve-
ning Post Garrett was one of the few men to whom I

could unburden myself. Once, after hearing me express
my restlessness with Wall Street, he remarked “I keep tell-
ing you, B.M., you don’t belong in Wall Street; you should
be in Washington.” I don’t remember my reply; I probably
laughed at him. But I thought about his words from time to
time [They] nourished my discontent.

Biographer Carl Ryant notes that during this period, Garrett proba-
bly made an important contribution to the education of Wall Street. In that
time, business reporting consisted mostly of reporting prices and dry facts.

2 Biographical details from Carl Ryant, Profit’s Prophet (Selinsgrove: Susquehanna University Press,
1989). Another excellent analysis of Garrett’s work is in Justin Raimondo’s Reclaiming the American
Right, (Burlingame, Calif.: Center for Libertarian Studies, 1993)

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Garrett wrote with drama on personalities and events, infusing the activ-
ity of commerce with a fire and passion that later made his fiction so enor-
mously popular.

He moved to accept administrative duties with the New York Annalist
and then later back to the New York Times. During World War I, he was sent
to Germany to cover the war’s impact on the German people. Following
this, he resigned over dissatisfaction with the way the paper was covering
tire war. This was a period of grim press censorship, and Garrett was prob-
ably having trouble getting his stories printed. This experience very likely
had the most powerful impact on his views toward war. He later moved
to the New York Tribune where he was involved in a regrettable tactic to
increase circulation of the paper by attacking rival publisher William Ran-
dolph Hearst. In any case, he left the Tribune in 1919 and here began the
work for which he justly became famous.

Garrett began as a featured contributor to American’s most successful
periodical, The Saturday Evening Post , but his contributions were not lim-
ited to this publication. He also wrote for Collier’s , Everybody’s Magazine.
and The New Republic. His topics usually centered on financial matters.
Garrett was at the top of his game and became one of the most widely read
writers on economics in the country.

He developed a close friendship with Post editor George Horace
Lorimer, who in turn introduced him to Herbert Hoover, with whom he
also maintained a lifelong friendship. He traveled the world for the Post.
Once, on a boat, he bumped into Will Rogers, who later wrote that he was
“an awful nice fellow.” His works were reviewed with glowing praise in The
New Republic , The New York Times , and elsewhere.

On the night of January 18, 1930, Garrett was shot during an attempted
robbery at a New York speakeasy, the Chez Madeleine, while having dinner.
He was shot three times: in the shoulder, hip, and lung. He recovered, but
his health suffered and he was left with a raspy voice (which wasn’t helped
by his lifelong chain smoking). Still, his association with the Post contin-
ued through the Great Depression, and it was he who gave the magazine its
pro-freedom, anti-New Deal flavor through the entire period. He became a
vocal and aggressive proponent of staying out of World War II.

With a change in editorial direction at the Post in 1942, Garrett left, and
two years later founded a journal called American Affairs. It was funded by
the National Industrial Conference Board as a venue for Garrett. He later
wrote that it was a “one-man job. The staff consists of myself, one secre-
tary, and one man attending to subscriptions and circulation.” This journal

Who Is Garet Garrett?

257

by itself is a remarkable accomplishment. In a time of all-around planning
and war, Garrett managed to produce a free-market publication that took
on labor unions, price controls, inflation, war planning, international agen-
cies, centralization of power, and war propaganda, and to fight for liberty
of the individual in issue after issue. A typical issue would open with five
to six pages of editorials and then move to correspondence and articles.
The publication would print fascinating correspondence between citizens
and the government over issues of taxation and monetary affairs. Even in
tire existing works on the Old Right, this journal hasn’t received the atten-
tion it deserves. In fact, the entire run of this publication deserves far wider
exposure.

The publication folded in 1950, but Garrett did not quit. In 1952, he
wrote The Wild Wheel. In these years, he paid some visits to offices in New
York and Washington but his reputation faded in the postwar world, which
no longer appreciated his pro-commerce, antiwar attitudes. He retired to a
New Jersey farm, wore baggy pants and coats with patches on the elbow,
and was known to love good bourbon. He suffered a stroke in 1954 and
died on November 6. He was buried at the River Cemetery in Tuckahoe,
New Jersey.

The Novels

Let’s take a step back and have a look at Garrett’s least-known work, his
once-popular works of fiction that heralded commerce as the very pith of
life. His first book was called The Blue Wound (1921), an impressive effort
at writing a history-of-the-world fantasy through the eyes of a dreamy jour-
nalist who sought to discover who caused the world war. The book was
a literary success but it was less than clear on an issue that would be Gar-
rett’s only real ideological failing. The subject in question concerned trade.
He rightly saw the dangers of American and British efforts to force open
markets abroad, imposing foreign systems of government on an unwill-
ing population; but he failed to clearly delineate in his mind the difference
between purely voluntary foreign trade and imperial expansion. This was
mixed with a slight protectionist bias that was typical of his generation — a
bias that emerges sometimes in his writing, but, fortunately, never overtook
his broader analytics.

From a free-market perspective, his next hook was a far more impressive
effort. The Driver (1922), an exciting hook that heralds capitalist accom-
plishment, tells the story of a Wall Street financier, Henry Galt, a shadowy
figure who stays out of the limelight as much as possible until he unleashes

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a plan that had been years in the making: he uses his extraordinary entre-
preneurial talent to acquire control of a failing railroad.

Through outstanding management sense, good pricing, excellent ser-
vice, and overall business savvy, he outcompetes all the big names in the
business, while making a fortune in the process. Garrett has a way of illus-
trating just what it takes to be a businessman of this sort, and how his mind
alone becomes the source of a fantastic revenue stream.

But his success breeds trouble. The government conspires with envi-
ous competitors to regulate him using the Sherman Antitrust Act, calling
him a monopolist and accusing him of exploiting the public. There is a
courtroom scene that allows Galt to explain to the assembled legislators
how investors and capitalists are helping society in ways that politicians
can’t possibly imagine. What tire politicians see as shady is really a form of
public service that enriches the whole country.

A recurring literary motif through the book has people asking, “Who
is Henry Galt?” The shades of Ayn Rand here are obvious and some writ-
ers have speculated that she borrowed Garrett’s literary motif, which may or
may not be true.

In one of many asides, this book contains one of the best explanations
of the absurdities of “bi-metallism” that fixed the relationship between sil-
ver and gold. Indeed, the book is overall quite sound on the money ques-
tion, showing the inflationist populist movement of the late 19th century
to be a pack of fools. Galt himself delivers some fantastic defenses of hard
money and free markets.

In any case, the novel is brilliant and thrilling, one that provides an
excellent lesson in how entrepreneurship works. Writes Edward Younkins,
“Not only is The Driver a novel of high finance and Wall Street methods, it
also paints a portrait of an efficacious and visionary man who uses reason to
focus his enthusiasm on reality in his efforts to attain his goals.”

His next novel is his epic story of steel. It is The Cinder Buggy (1923),
the longest of the three books in this trilogy and his unforgettable master-
piece. With a great story, and tremendous literary passion, it chronicles the
transformation of America from the age of iron to the age of steel.

It covers the period between 1820 and 1870 and its march of techno-
logical progress. The plot concerns an ongoing war between two industrial-
ists, one the hero who is beaten in the first generation, and the other who is
malevolent but wins the first round in the competitive drive. The struggle

Who Is Garet Garrett?

259

continues through the second generation, which leads to a titanic battle
over whether steel or iron would triumph and why.

The story is set in the iron town of New Damascus. The two men who
make it happen are Aaron Breakspeare and Enoch Gih. Aaron is beloved
but not a great businessman. He dreams of the steel age but fails to make
it economically viable. Enoch is a good businessman but dour and widely
loathed for his miserliness and mistreatment of others. A feud over a bank-
er’s daughter leads to the initial dissolution of the partnership, and the son
of the resulting union, John Breakspeare, returns to New Damascus to enter
tire iron business.

This leads to a fascinating repeat of events that causes another dissolu-
tion, more bitter and shocking than the last. The feud continues over iron
and then over steel until steel wins the victory after many fits and starts. In
the course of the story, the reader discovers how it is that technology has
such a dramatic effect on society, and how risk and entrepreneurship are at
tire very heart of it all.

Garrett employs every literary device to make commerce itself the set-
ting for great acts of courage, heroism, sacrifice, and tragedy. And as with his
other hooks, the central mover of events is the price system. It is the signal
for and cause of the most notable changes in the plot. The reader discovers
economics in a way that might not otherwise be possible, and it is hard to
imagine that anyone can come away with anything but love for the whole
subject of enterprise.

Garrett does not portray the market as some idealized utopia. We have
here the full range of human emotion and motivation at work: arrogance,
pride, malice, love, compassion, jealousy, rage, and everything else. What
is striking is that all these emotions play themselves out in a setting that,
despite all the metaphors involving battles and wars, is ultimately peaceful.
No one can fully control price movements, and it is these that act to reward
victors and punish losers. Here we have the “manly” virtues playing them-
selves out not on bloody battlefields but in the peaceful marketplace.

We also have here a realistic portrayal of the truth about innovation. It
is not enough to come up with a good idea. That idea must be embodied in
real production that takes place in a cost-reducing way, and then marketed
in the service of society. Technology, accounting, and marketing must all
come together to make possible such things as technological revolutions.

The Cinder Buggy could easily be considered the best of Garrett’s nov-
els. It is a wonderful novel for anyone who loves, or wants to more deeply

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understand, American history, economic theory, and the place of technol-
ogy in the molding of society.

Finally, as the third in this series, there is Satan’s Bushel { 1924), a splen-
did book, not just from the point of view of economics but also as a piece
of literature. What is Satan’s bushel? It is the last bushel that the farmers
put on the market, the one that “breaks the price” — that is, reduces it to the
point where wheat farming is no longer profitable. The problem that afflicts
the wheat fanners is that they sell their goods when the price is low and
have no goods to sell when the price is high. Withholding goods from the
market is one answer, but the farmer lacks the incentive to do that.

As implausible as it may sound, the central figure in this book is the
price of wheat. It is tire main source of drama. The settings are tire wheat pit
at the Chicago exchange (circa 1915) and the Kansas wheat fields. Linking
those two radically different universes, through speculative buying and sell-
ing, is the mission of this book.

The action further explores the meaning, morality, and utility of wheat
speculation, which was increasing in sophistication during this period of
history. The plot is centered at tire turn of the 20th century, a critical period
when the agricultural economy was completely giving way to the fully
industrialized one, and fanners were panicked about the alleged problem of
falling prices. There is nothing lost in the passage of time: the allegory could
equally apply to the computer industry today.

The book tells the story of one man’s discovery of a brilliant specula-
tor and his relationship with an old and legendary farmer/nrystic and his
daughter. The mystic embodies both the highest wisdom and the greatest
economic fallacies of the day. The question that must be confronted is how
to make farms profitable in times of falling prices, and the novel shows that
speculation, even with all its human foibles, makes a contribution to stabiliz-
ing the market.

Here is one of hundreds of brilliant passages describing the speculator:

No rule of probability contains him. To say that he acts
upon impulse, without reflection, in a headlong manner, is
true only so far as it goes. Many people have that weakness.

With him it is not a weakness. It is a principle of conduct.

Who Is Garet Garrett?

261

the end is always a surprise; if it is something he doesn’t
care for, no matter. Another steed is waiting. Meaning to
do this, living for it, he has no baggage. There is nothing
behind him. If he has wealth it is portable. He is at any
moment ready.

In a plot twist that foreshadows the New Deal, one person attempts to
destroy the wheat crops with a poisonous fungus, thinking that he is doing
the farmers a favor by reducing supply — based on logic he learned from
unworkable government schemes. The reader is confronted with the chal-
lenge of coming to understand whether this is really beneficial to farmers, and
if not, why not? (Keep in mind that Satan’s Bushel was written a full decade
before FDR attempted the same tactics by force from die federal level.)

Another dramatic scene involves the arrest of an opponent of World
War I. There are also plot twists that turn on romance, sorcery, criminal-
ity, mob behavior, psychological possession, the war, price controls, gov-
ernment interventions, and other surprises, including wholly unimagina-
ble things like water witchery and a teak tree in Burma. The central action,
however, deals widi the core of economics and the place of production and
speculation.

And for financial historians, there is the very special treat of observing
the great drama of the early years of the Chicago commodities market —
written from the vantage point of one generation later. There are scenes in
the wheat trading pit that just take your breath away. This novel demon-
strates yet again that no one can make the stuff of enterprise dramatic, tragic,
and heroic like Garrett.

The effect is to so closely link the most outlandish and far-flung eco-
nomic activities to human frailties and uncertainties that one gains not only
an understanding of how commodity markets worked earlier this century —
and how price movements work in all times and all places — but also a love
for the craft of commodities specuclation.

Several passages provide beautiful insight into how the speculator
drinks and how the speculator’s actions work to reduce destabilizing price
fluctuations. But speculation is also a very human institution, subject to
whim and learning. Also, die government comes across as nothing short of
egregious and destructive.

Garrett’s last novel is Harangue (The Trees Said to the Bramble Gome
Reign Over Us) ( 1 927). It tells the true story, in fictional form, of the rise and
fall of a fanatic and despotic socialist takeover of a single town, and how it
led to loss of liberty and economic collapse. It is, said The New York Times

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in a review, “an analysis of the workings of the self-consciously radical mind
and the play of direct action demagogy on the masses ... a first-class study
in sociology.” The socialist takeover was financed by the heir of a Wall Street
fortune, and this provides Garrett an opportunity to explain why the rich
are attracted to destructive ideology: it is one thing they can consume that
sets them apart from the bourgeoisie. He goes further to provide rich and
detailed portrayals of all the main activists who are drawn to socialism. He
shows how the experiment fails on economic and political grounds.

The book was written only a few years before the socialist Left came to
influence national affairs in the age of the New Deal, and what’s refreshing
about this study is its complete absence of red baiting. It treats socialism as
dangerous and myopic intellectual error that can lead to ruin, but never as
some foreign threat. If capitalism were to collapse, he believed, it would be
from within. As a novel, Harangue is just as competent as his others, but it
takes a different angle: it explores the dangers of the intellectual and politi-
cal world as a contrast to the creative world of commerce.

The New Deal

Within a year of being shot in a speakeasy, Garrett came out with a
book of high importance to Austrian economists: The Bubble that Broke the
World (1931). This hook blows away the conventional interpretations of
tire crash of 1 929, not only in its contents, but in the fact that the hook exists
at all. Garrett ascribes the crash to the piling up of debt, which in turn was
made possible by the Fed’s printing machine. This debt created distortions
in die production structure that cried out for correction.

What is the answer, according to Garrett? Let the correction happen
and learn from our mistakes.

Such is the thesis, but take note: this book was a big seller in 1931. In
other words, two years before FDR arrived with his destructive New Deal,
ascribing the depression to capitalism and speculation, Garrett had already
explained what was really behind the correction. It took Murray Rothbard
to resurrect these truths decades later, and by the time he did so in 1963, it
was a shocking diesis.

We are still fighting an uphill battle to explain the true causes of the
crash and ensuing depression. But here in this wonderful book of Garrett’s
is an actual contemporary account that spelled it out plainly for the world to
see. No more can we say that people hack then could not have understood.
Garrett told them.

Who Is Garet Garrett?

263

Empire

In 1954, Garrett’s masterpiece of nonfiction writing appeared: The Peo-
ple’s Pottage. This was a collection of his previous essays. The first essay,
“The Revolution Was”, had first appeared in 1938, the burden of which
was to show that the New Deal transformed American society to such an
extent that it was foolhardy to listen to American politicians and their warn-
ings of dangers from the outside. “There are those who still think they are
holding the pass against a revolution that may be coming up the road,” he
wrote. “But they are gazing in the wrong direction. The revolution is behind
them. It went by in the Night of Depression, singing songs to freedom.”

Here he chronicles what historians have forgotten, namely, that FDR
campaigned for limiting government against the big-spending policies of
Herbert Hoover. He shows how the New Deal regimented production to
the point of making genuine production impossible. He blasts FDR’s mon-
etary policy as nothing short of robbery, and exposes the New Deal as a vio-
lation of everything a free country should be.

The second essay is “Ex America” (1951) a shocking look back at
what America was and what it had become. The third essay is “The Rise of
Empire” (1952):

We have crossed the boundary that lies between Republic
and Empire. If you ask when, the answer is that you can-
not make a single stroke between day and night; the pre-
cise moment does not matter. There was no painted sign to
say: “You now are entering Imperium.”

Here Garrett spells out the conditions that signal the move from Repub-
lic to Empire, including the dominance of the executive, the rise of the mili-
tary mind, a “complex of vaunting and fear,” the subjugation of domestic
concerns to foreign ones, and a system of satellite nations.

The list is an eerie one for us today, for it essentially spells out what
drives American policy in the post-Cold War world. With the fear of
communism out of the way, we should be better positioned than ever to
heed his warnings.

To Garrett, there is no heroism in war, but only in creativity and pro-
duction, and no folly greater than overthrowing the institutions that make
creativity and economic progress possible. He was not just a great writer
of fiction, not just a courageous opponent of the planning state and war; he
was a prophet of the fate of America under government control, a brilliant
intellectual force in the 20th century, and a wise and eloquent spokesman

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for freedom itself. May he be remembered and appreciated anew, and may
he teach all to learn to adore peace and prosperity, and all its creative adven-
tures, as he did.

Bibliography

The Blue Wound (NY: Putnam’s, 1921)

The Cinder Buggy (NY: Dutton, 1923; Mises Institute, 2007)

The Driver (NY: Dutton, 1922; Mises Institute, 2007)

Satan’s Bushel (NY: Dutton, 1924; Mises Institute, 2007)

Harangue (The Trees Said to the Bramble Come Reign Over Us) (NY,
Dutton: 1927; Mises Institute 2007)

A Bubble That Broke the World (Boston: Little, 1932; Mises Institute,
2007)

The People’s Pottage (Caldwell, Idaho: Caxton, 1953; Mises Institute,
2007)

The Wild Wheel (NY: Pantheon, 1952; Mises Institute, 2007)

The American Story (Chicago: Regnery, 1955)

Albert Jay Nock:

Forgotten Man of the Old Right

October 12,2007

F or an earlier generation of American dissidents from the prevailing
ideology of left-liberalism, a rite of passage was reading Albert Jay
Nock’s Memoirs of a Superfluous Man , which appeared in 1 943. Wil-
liam F. Buckley was hardly alone in seeing it as a seminal text crucial to his
personal formation.

Here it is in one package, an illustration of the level of learning that had
been lost with mass education, a picture of the way a true political dissident
from our collectivist period thinks about the modern world, and a compre-
hensive argument for the very meaning of freedom and civility — all from a
man who helped shape the Right’s intellectual response to the triumph of
FDR’s welfare-warfare state.

It was destined to be a classic, read by many generations to come. But
then the official doctrine changed. Instead of seeing war as part of the prob-
lem, as a species of socialism, National Review led the American Right
down a different path. Nock’s book was quickly buried with the rise of the
Cold War state, which required that conservatives reject anything like radi-
cal individualism — even of Nock’s aristocratic sort — and instead embrace
the Wilson-FDR values of nationalism and militarism.

Instead of Nock’s Memoirs , young conservatives were encouraged to
read personal accounts of communists who converted to backing the Cold
War (e.g., Whittaker Chambers), as if warming up to the glories of nukes
represents some sort of courageous intellectual step. To the extent that Nock
(1870-1947) is known at all today, it is by libertarians, and for his classic
essay Our Enemy, The State (1935) and his wonderful little biography, Mr.

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Jefferson (1926). Both are great works. He was also the founder of The Free-
man in its first incarnation (1920-1924), which held to the highest literary
standards and provoked unending controversy by its sheer radicalism.

However, it is with the Memoirs , this wonderful little treatise — part auto-
biography, part ideological instruction — that we are given the full Nockian
worldview, not just his politics but his culture, his life, and his understand-
ing of man and his place in the universe. The book makes a very bracing
read today, if only because it proves how little today’s “conservative move-
ment” has to do with its mid-century ancestor, the Old Right. It is also
instructive for libertarians to discover that there is more to anarchism than
childish rantings against the police power.

The phrase “Man of Letters” is thrown around casually these days, but
A.J. Nock was the real thing. Born in Scranton, Pennsylvania, he was home-
schooled from the earliest age in Greek and Latin, unbelievably well read in
every held, a natural aristocrat in the best sense of that term.

He combined an old-world cultural sense (he despised popular cul-
ture) and a political anarchism that saw the state as the enemy of everything
that is civilized, beautiful, and true. And he applied this principle consis-
tently in opposition to welfare, government-managed economies, consoli-
dation, and, above all else, war.

In the introduction to my edition, Hugh MacLennan compares the
Memoirs to The Education of Henry Adams , and expresses the hope that
it will “one day be recognized as the minor classic it really is.” Well, I can
predict that this time is not coming soon. Given its contents, consistency,
relentless truth-telling, and, above all, its sheer persuasive power, it is a won-
der that the book is in print and that we are even allowed to read it.

To follow Nock, what traits must a man of the Right have? He must be
both fiercely independent and believe in the power of social authority; he
must love tradition but hate the state and everything it does; he must believe
in radical freedom while never doubting the immutability of human nature
and natural laws; he must be antimaterialist in his own life while defending
economic freedom without compromise; he must be an elitist and antidem-
ocrat yet despise elites who hold illicit power; and he must be realistic about
tire dim prospects for change while still retaining a strong sense of hope and
enthusiasm for life.

I’m not sure I can think of anyone but Murray Rothbard who con-
sistently upheld the Nockian position after Nock’s death, and it is Nock’s
Memoirs that provides a full immersion in his genius. Consider his main
literary device: to take a commonplace subject, make a casual and slightly

Albert Jay Nock

267

quirky observation about it, one that wins your affections, and then surprise
and shock by driving the point to score a deadly blow against some great
evil that is widely taken for granted:

Another neighbor, a patriarchal old Englishman with
a white beard, kept a great stand of bees. I remember his
incessant drumming on a tin pan to marshal them when
they were swarming, and myself as idly wondering who first
discovered that this was the thing to do, and why the bees
should fall in with it. It struck me that if the bees were as
intelligent as bees are cracked up to be, instead of mobiliz-
ing themselves for old man Reynolds’s benefit, they would
sting him soundly and then fly off about their business. I
always think of this when I see a file of soldiers, wonder-
ing why die sound of a drum does not incite diem to shoot
their officers, throw away their rides, go home, and go to
work.

In the course of his 325-page narrative, he employs this casual device
again and again, until you begin to get the message that there is something
profoundly wrong with the world, and the biggest thing of all is die state.

In Nock’s view, it is the state that crowds out ad that is decent, lovely,
civilized. He demonstrates this not through deduction but through calm
and entertaining tales of how rich and varied and productive life can be
when the state does not interfere.

In a society without the state, for example, the “court of tastes and
manners” would be the thing that guides the operation of society, and this
“court” would have a much larger role in society than law, legislation, or
religion. If such a court were not in operation, because people are too unciv-
dized or too id-educated to maintain it, there was nothing the state could do
to uplift people. No matter how low a civdization is, it can only be made to
go lower through state activity.

Though an old-school Yankee of the purest-bred sort, he completely
rejected what came to be die debiting trait of his class: the impulse to try to
improve others through badgering and coercion:

One of the most offensive things about die society in which
I later found myself was its monstrous itch for changing
people. It seemed to me a society made up of congenital
missionaries, natural-born evangelists and propagandists,
bent on re-shaping, re-forming and standardizing people
according to a pattern of their own devising — and what a

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pattern it was, good heavens! when one came to examine it.

It seems to me, in short, a society fundamentally and pro-
foundly ill-bred. A very small experience of it was enough
to convince me that Cain’s heresy was not altogether with-
out reason or without merit; and that conviction quickly
ripened into a great horror of every attempt to change any-
body; or I should rather say, every wish to change anybody,
for that is the important thing. The attempt is relatively
immaterial, perhaps, for it is usually its own undoing, but
the moment one wishes to change anybody, one becomes
like the socialists, vegetarians, prohibitionists; and this, as
Rabelais, says, “is a terrible thing to think upon.”

Given such views, it is hardly surprising that he had nothing but con-
tempt for politics, which then and now seeks to manage not only society but
drought as well:

My first impression of politics was unfavorable; and my dis-
favor was heightened by subsequently noticing that the peo-
ple around me always spoke of politics and politicians in a
tone of contempt. This was understandable. If all I had casu-
ally seen . . . was of the essence of politics, if it was part and
parcel of carrying on the country’s government, then obvi-
ously a decent person could find no place in politics, not
even the place of a ordinary voter, for the forces of ignorance,
brutality and indecency would outnumber him ten to one.

But, with Nock’s infallible flair for radicalism, his logic takes him fur-
drer down the anarchist road:

Nevertheless there was an anomaly here. We were all sup-
posed to respect our government and its laws, yet by all
accounts those who were charged with the conduct of
government and the making of its laws were most dread-
ful swine; indeed, the very conditions of their tenure pre-
cluded their being anything else.

Nock is capable of surprising readers who think they might be able to
anticipate the biases of a traditionalist-anarchist. Sometimes old-style, right-
ist aristocrats who wax eloquent on the virtues of tradition fall into strange
left-wing habits of extolling the environment as something glorious and vir-
tuous on its own, and somehow deserving of being left alone. Nock had no
interest in this strange deviation. Consider his experience with the woods
and nature:

Albert Jay Nock

269

In those years [living in rural areas] I undoubtedly built up
and fortified the singular immunity to infirmity and disease
which has lasted all my life; but in those years also my con-
genital indifference to nature in the wild, natural scenery,
rocks, rills, woods and templed hills, hardened into perma-
nent distaste. Like the Goncourts, I can see nature only as
an enemy; a highly respected enemy, but an enemy. “I am a
lover of knowledge,” Socrates said, “and the men who dwell
in tlie city are my teachers, and not die trees or the country.”

Nock was thus not an American Tory by any stretch, diough his cultural
outlook was as highbrow as any landed aristocrat’s. What’s more, unlike the
socialist anarchists and most conservatives of today, Nock believed in and
understood the crucial importance, even centrality, of economic liberty:

If a regime of complete economic freedom be established,
social and political freedom will follow automatically; and
until it is established neither social nor political freedom
can exist. Here one comes in sight of the reason why the
State will never tolerate the establishment of economic
freedom. In a spirit of sheer conscious fraud, the State will
at any time offer its people “four freedoms,” or six, or any
number; but it will never let them have economic freedom.

If it did, it would be signing its own death-warrant, for as
Lenin pointed out, “it is nonsense to make any pretence
of reconciling the State and liberty.” Our economic system
being what it is, and the State being what it is, all the mass
verbiage about “the free peoples” and “the free democra-
cies” is merely so much obscene buffoonery.

In fact, he understood even technical points of economics that are com-
pletely lost on most conservatives today. Here is Nock on the 1920s bubble
economy:

Many no doubt remember the “new economics” hatched
in the consulship of Mr. Coolidge, whereby it was demon-
strated beyond question that credit could be pyramided on
credit indefinitely, and all hands could become rich with
no one doing any work. Then when this seductive theory
blew up with a loud report in 1929, we began to hear of
tlie economics of scarcity, the economics of plenty, and then
appeared the devil-and-all of “plans,” notions about pump-
priming, and disquisitions on the practicability of a nation’s

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spending itself rich Ever since 1918 people everywhere

have been thinking in terms of money, not in terms of com-
modities; and this in spite of the most spectacular evidence
that such thinking is sheer insanity. The only time I was
ever a millionaire was when I spent a few weeks in Ger-
many in 1923. 1 was the proud possessor of more money
than one could shake a stick at, but I could buy hardly any-
thing with it.”

And on fiscal policy:

Another strange notion pervading whole peoples is that
die State has money of its own; and nowhere is this absur-
dity more firmly fixed than in America. The State has no
money. It produces nothing. It existence is purely parasitic,
maintained by taxation; that is to say, by forced levies on
the production of others. “Government money,” of which
one hears so much nowadays, does not exist; there is no
such thing. One is especially amused at seeing how largely
a naive ignorance of this fact underlies the pernicious mea-
sures of “social security” which have been foisted on the
American people. In various schemes of pensioning, of
insurance against sickness, accident, unemployment and
what-not, one notices that the government is supposed to
pay so-much into the fund, the employer so-much, and the

workman so-much But the government pays nothing,

for it has nothing to pay with. What such schemes actually
come to is that the workman pays his own share outright;
he pays the employer’s share in the enhanced price of
commodities; and he pays the government’s share in taxa-
tion. He pays the whole bill; and when one counts in the
unconscionably swollen costs of bureaucratic brokerage
and paperasserie , one sees that what the workman-benefi-
ciary gets out die arrangement is about the most expensive
form of insurance that could be devised consistently with
keeping its promoters out of gaol.

A special contribution of Nock’s book is his comprehensive critique of
the pre-New Deal reform movements that culminated in the Progressive
Era. Though he had once identified himself as a true liberal in die Jefferso-
nian sense, he was a close observer of the early stages of liberalism’s corrup-
tion, when it came to mean not liberty but something else entirely. He saw
die essential error that the liberal movement was making:

Albert Jay Nock

271

Liberals generally — there may have been exceptions, but I
do not know who they were— joined in the agitation for an
income-tax, in utter disregard of the fact that it meant writ-
ing the principle of absolutism into the Constitution. Nor did
they give a moment’s thought to the appalling social effects
of an income-tax; I never once heard this aspect of the matter
discussed. Liberals were also active in promoting the “demo-
cratic” movement for the popular election of senators. It cer-
tainly took no great perspicacity to see that these two mea-
sures would straightway ease our political system into collec-
tivism as soon as some Eubulus, some mass-man overgifted
with sagacity, should maneuver himself into popular leader-
ship; and in the nature of things, this would not be long.

In time, of course, the liberal reform movement began to adopt a mild
version of the class-war rhetoric of the socialist Left, and the longer this
went on, the more the political process came to be a struggle not between
liberty and power but between two versions of state domination:

What I was looking at was simply a tussle between two
groups of mass-men, one large and poor, the other small
and rich, and as judged by the standards of civilized soci-
ety, neither of them any more meritorious or promising
than the other. The object of the tussle was the material
gains accruing Horn control of the State’s machinery. It is
easier to seize wealth than to produce it; and as long as the
State makes the seizure of wealth a matter of legalized priv-
ilege, so long will the squabble for that privilege go on.

From Nock’s point of view, the Great Depression and the two world
wars saddled America with a new faith in the state, and along with it came a
shift in people’s loyalties, from themselves, their families, and communities
to the Grand National Project, whatever it may be. We see the same thing
today on the right and left, when questioning any aspect of the war on ter-
rorism gets you branded as a heretic to the national religion. Nock would
have nothing to do with it:

I am profoundly thankful that during my formative years I
never had contact with any institution under State control;
not in school, not in college, nor yet in my three years of
irregular graduate study. No attempt was ever made by any
one to indoctrinate me with State-inspired views — or any
views, for that matter — of patriotism or nationalism. I was

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never dragooned into flag-worship or hero-worship, never
was caught in any spate of verbiage about duty to one’s
country, never debauched by any of the routine devices
hatched by scoundrels for inducing a synthetic devotion
to one’s native land and loyalty to its jobholders. Therefore
when later the various aspects of contemporary patriotism
and nationalism appeared before me, my mind was wholly
unprepossessed, and my view of them was unaffected by
any emotional distortion.”

What, then, is patriotism, if not faith in one’s government? Can patrio-
tism be considered a virtue at all to the civilized man, and, if so, in what does
it consist? Consider this passage of immense power:

What is patriotism? Is it loyalty to a spot on a map, marked
off from other spots by blue or yellow lines, the spot where
one was born? But birth is a pure accident; surely one is in
no way responsible for having been bom on this spot or on
that. Flaubert had poured a stream of corrosive irony on this
idea of patriotism. Is it loyalty to a set of political jobholders,
a king and his court, a president and his bureaucracy, a par-
liament, a congress, a Duce or Fiihrer , a camorra of commis-
sars? I should say it depends entirely on what the jobholders
are like and what they do. Certainly I had never seen any who
commanded my loyalty; I should feel utterly degraded if ever
once I thought they could. Does patriotism mean loyalty to a
political system and its institutions, constitutional, autocratic,
republican, or what-not? But if history has made anything
unmistakably clear, it is that from the standpoint of the indi-
vidual and Iris welfare, these are no more than names. The
reality which in the end they are found to cover is the same
for all alike. If a tree be known by its fruits, which I believe is
regarded as good sound doctrine, then the peculiar merit of a
system, if it has any, ought to be reflected in the qualities and
conditions of the people who live under it; and looking over
the peoples and systems of the world, I found no reason in
the nature of things why a person should be loyal to one sys-
tem rather than another. One could see at a glance that there
is no saving grace in any system. Whatever merit or demerit
may attach to any of them lies in the way it is administered.

So when people speak of loyalty to one’s country, one must
ask them what they mean by that. What is one’s country?

Albert Jay Nock

27 3

Mr. Jefferson said contemptuously that “merchants have
no country; the mere spot they stand on does not con-
stitute so strong an attachment as that from which they
draw their gains.” But one may ask, why should it? This
motive of patriotism seems to me perfectly sound, and if
it should he sound for merchants, why not for others who
are not merchants? If it holds good in respect of material
gains, why not of spiritual gains, cultural gains, intellectual
and aesthetic gains? As a general principle, I should put it
that a man’s country is where the things he loves are most
respected. Circumstances may have prevented his ever set-
ting foot there, but it remains his country.

In the early years of the American republic, patriotism and loyalty were
primarily directed toward one’s town or county, because it was very likely
tire place where the things one loved were most respected. Something like
national patriotism was unknown. It came to be imposed under consolida-
tion. Under today’s conservative view of patr iotism, that our loves must be
dictated by the state, there would be no argument against the idea that we
ought to be patriotic toward NATO or the United Nations. Nock had this
to say about global consolidation:

Some of the more adventurous spirits, apparently under
the effects of Mr. Wilson’s inspiration, went so far as to
propose educating all mankind into setting up a World
State which should supersede the separatist nationalist
State; on the principle, so it seemed, that if a spoonful of
prussic acid will kill you, a bottleful is just what you need
to do you a great deal of good.

Nock would also be dissident on the right today concerning the free-
dom of association, which he saw as the very essence of freedom itself.

I know, however, that the problem of no minority anywhere
can be settled unless and until two preliminaries are estab-
lished. First, that the principle of equality before the law be
maintained without subterfuge and with the utmost vigor.

Second, that this principle be definitively understood as
carrying no social implications of any kind whatever. “I will
buy with you, sell with you, talk with you, walk with you,
and so following,” said Shylock; “but I will not eat with
you, drink with you, nor pray with you.”

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These two preliminaries demand a much clearer concep-
tion of natural as well as legal rights than I think can ever
prevail in America.

Nock is sometimes presented as a brooding man who despaired for his
country. There seems to be truth in that, but what’s most impressive is how
he managed to keep his chin up and find personal joy in fighting evil, or at
least exposing it as much as possible.

All I have done towards the achievement of a happy life

has been to follow my nose I learned early with Tho-

reau that a man is rich in proportion to the numbers of
tilings he can afford to let alone; and in view of this I have
always considered myself extremely well-to-do. All I ever
asked of life was the freedom to think and say exactly what
I pleased, when I pleased, and as I pleased. I have always
had that freedom, with an immense amount of uncove-
nanted lagniappe thrown in; and having had it, I always felt
I could well afford to let all else alone. It is true that one can
never get something for nothing; it is true that in a society
like ours one who takes the course which I have taken must
reconcile himself to the status of a superfluous man; but
the price seems to me by no means exorbitant and I have
paid it gladly, without a shadow of doubt that I was getting
all the best of the bargain.”

There are aspects of Nock that call for correction. His views on mar-
riage and the family are highly unconventional, for example, and he some-
times takes his notion of the “remnant” too far, appearing to endorse pas-
sivity in the face of rising despotism. He refused to join any antiwar move-
ments, not because he disagreed with their goal but because he didn’t
believe his participation would do any good.

But here is where his example is more instructive than his theory: Nock
fought against the state with the most powerful weapons he had, his mind
and his pen. Despite his claim, he was not superfluous at all, but essential,
even indispensable, as are all great libertarian intellectuals.

Pass the Memoirs on to a twenty-year-old student and you stand a good
chance of arming him against a lifetime of nonsense, whether it comes from
tire tedious Left that loves redistribution and collectivism or the fraudulent
Right that is completely blind to the impossibility of reconciling war and
nationalism with the true American spirit of freedom.

Mark Twain's Radical Liberalism

January 27, 2010

P art of the difficulty of understanding Mark Twain’s political outlook is
due to terminology and the tendency of politics to corrupt the mean-
ing of everything. As often as you see him called a liberal, he is called
a conservative, and sometimes both in the same breath. Critics puzzle about
how one person could be a champion of workers, owners, and the capitalist
rich, while holding views that are antigovernment on domestic matters, anti-
slavery, and antiwar. They often conclude that his politics are incoherent.

Part of the reason for the confusion has to do with the changed meaning
of liberalism as an ideology and the incapacity of modern critics to under-
stand its 19th-century implications.

Twain was born as Samuel Langhorne Clemens in 1835, when the
meaning of liberalism was less ambiguous. To be liberal was to favor free
enterprise and property rights, oppose slavery, reject old-world caste sys-
tems, loathe war, be generally disposed toward free trade and cosmopolitan-
ism, favor the social advance of women, favor technological progress — and
to possess a grave skepticism toward government management of anything.

The tradition of thought extends from Enlightenment thinkers like Jef-
ferson through 20th-century Misesians and Hayekians. This outlook on the
world might be nearly extinguished from politics today (two flavors of stat-
ism), but it was the one embraced by Clemens.

By the time Clemens died in 1910, liberalism was on the verge of trans-
formation. The Gilded Age of capitalist accumulation had come and gone,
and inspired envy and ideological fanaticism all around. Liberalism’s pro-
gressive outlook led to sympathy for socialism and government manage-
ment, and, later, to the war economy as a means of imposing economic

275

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Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

regimentation in the absence of democratic consensus. A half century later,
liberalism would have moved full swing toward the very opposite of its
19th-century meaning, while those who opposed government management
and favored free enterprise were called conservatives.

It is for this reason that Twain’s political views are so frequently mis-
understood, as the vast literature on his life and work easily demonstrates.
Biographers and critics have had difficulty figuring out how the same per-
son could champion the interests of the Newport capitalist class while
founding the Anti-Imperialist League. He loved America’s attachment to
property and commerce but emerged as the country’s most severe critic of
the warfare state (he said that the United States should make a special flag
for the Philippines: “just our usual flag, with the white stripes painted black
and the stars replaced by the skull and cross-bones.”)

Nearly alone in the Twain literature, Louis J. Budd’s pioneering work
Mark Twain: Social Philosopher 1 described his outlook as unambiguously
liberal in the mold of the Manchester School ofCobden and Bright. “There
is no good government at all 8c none possible,” he quotes Clemens in sum-
mary of his creed. 2

It is in the Budd hook that we learn that Clemens was a great champion
of technological progress and commerce, and never worked up enthusi-
asm for welfarist measures, for society in the “business age” is governed
by “exact and constant” laws that should not he “interfered with for the
accommodation of any individual or political or religious faction.” 3

The author of this study doesn’t use the term classical liberalism.
Instead he called Clemens’s outlook a 19th-century, urban, middle-class lib-
eralism. Indeed, Budd himself regrets Twain’s political and economic out-
look. The author is even aghast that Twain acted as if “supply and demand
was a fixed law rather than a debatable theory. . ,” 4

When the book was reviewed in the Nineteenth-Century Fiction 5 Guy
A. Cardwell wrote,

by present standards Mark Twain was more conservative
than liberal. He believed strongly in laissez faire, thought

1 Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1962.

2 Budd, p. 160.

3 Budd, p. 160, letter from Aix-Les-Bains.

4 Budd, p. 39.

5 Vol. 18, No. 2 (Sep., 1963), pp. 197-200)

Mark Twain’s Radical Liberalism

277

personal political rights secondary to property rights,
admired self-made plutocrats, and advocated a leader-
ship to be composed of men of wealth and brains. Among
his attitudes now more readily recognized as liberal were
a faith in progress through technology and a hostility
towards monarchy, inherited aristocracy, the Roman Cath-
olic church, and, in his later years, imperialism.

This review was written many decades ago, when liberals still had faith
in technology. This too changed in time, so that now his faith in technology
would probably be unclassihable. His opposition to war would be similarly
so, given how unpredictable antiwar feelings are among today’s liberals and
conservatives.

The party of liberalism that Clemens embraced no longer has a com-
fortable home in the current age. This problem has led to a general confu-
sion about his outlook on matters of political economy, and thus is his out-
look generally disregarded as fuzzy and confused.

Actually, the best way to dispel that impression is by reading Twain’s
own work. A look at some of his most popular fiction demonstrates that
Budd is precisely right: he was a Manchesterite, a liberal of the old school,
which, in today’s terms, would probably cause him to be classified as a
laissez-faire radical or libertarian. He clung to the Whiggism of his family
and youth, felt a stronger draw toward Jefferson Davis than Lincoln (but
famously and rightly deserted the centrally organized Confederate Army),
and championed hard money. He later supported Cleveland in the presi-
dential election of 1 884, in part for his support of the gold standard.

Along with Twain’s classical liberalism came a strong antiwar posi-
tion, one which was rooted in Lockean-style love of liberty and opposition
to government, not a Leninist-style analysis of the imperialism of finance
capitalism.

“Talking of patriotism what humbug it is,” he wrote; “it is a word that
always commemorates a robbery.”

Further: “Patriotism is being carried to insane excess. I know men who
do not love God because He is a foreigner.” 6

He was an opponent of the Spanish-American War, believed that
Filipinos who were harassing U.S. troops were only fighting for their

Quoted in Budd, 182-83.

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Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

independence, and might have heen the only American who publicly
defended the Boxers in China as good patriots. 7

His general attitude toward political power can be summed up in his
account of the transformation of Tom Canty in The Prince and the Pauper
(1881). Tom was a pauper who finds himself required to act as a stand-
in for the prince following an identity mix-up that began in a silly game of
changing clothes. The entire story is meant to illustrate the essential artifici-
ality of the caste system that distinguished the nobles fr om the peasants — a
novel filled with bitter vitriol toward the state penal system and overween-
ing police power of the English state.

When Tom Canty comes to know the depredations of power from the
inside, he is personally scandalized and sets about making humanitarian
reforms. This is the part of Tom usually emphasized in the movie versions.
But the original book adds an extra element of complexity, as if to illus-
trate the universal corruption that comes with power. The formerly sweet,
charming, and humane Tom Canty undergoes a radical change once he has
power at his disposal:

When we saw him last, royalty was just beginning to have
a bright side for him. This bright side went on brighten-
ing more and more every day: in a very little while it was
become almost all sunshine and delightfulness. He lost his
fears; his misgivings faded out and died; his embarrass-
ments departed, and gave place to an easy and confident
bearing.

He worked the whipping-boy mine to ever-increasing
profit. He ordered my Lady Elizabeth and my Lady Jane
Grey into his presence when he wanted to play or talk, and
dismissed them when he was done with them, with the air
of one familiarly accustomed to such performances. It no
longer confused him to have these lofty personages kiss his
hand at parting.

He came to enjoy being conducted to bed in state at night,
and dressed with intricate and solemn ceremony in the
morning. It came to be a proud pleasure to march to din-
ner attended by a glittering procession of officers of state
and gentlemen-at-arms; insomuch, indeed, that he dou-
bled his guard of gentlemen-at-arms, and made them a

7 Budd, 1983.

Mark Twain’s Radical Liberalism

279

hundred. He liked to hear the hugles sounding down the
long corridors, and the distant voices responding, “Way
for the King!”

He even learned to enjoy sitting in throned state in coun-
cil, and seeming to be something more than the Lord Pro-
tector’s mouthpiece. He liked to receive great ambassa-
dors and their gorgeous trains, and listen to the affection-
ate messages they brought from illustrious monarchs who
called him brother. . . .

He enjoyed his splendid clothes, and ordered more: he
found his four hundred servants too few for his proper
grandeur, and trebled them. The adulation of salaaming
courtiers came to be sweet music to his ears

Later, as part of the coronation parade, we are told that “Tom Canty
gazed abroad over the surging sea of eager faces, and his heart swelled with
exultation; and he felt that the one thing worth living for in this world was to
be a king, and a nation’s idol.”

Thus do we see a vivid illustration of the central theme of classical lib-
eralism, that power corrupts. It even corrupts the reformer and those who
intend to use their power on behalf of liberty, as indeed Tom Canty had
during the early stages of his reign. It is the office and tire institution that do
this to even the best people, and this power in the hands of bad people can
unleash every manner of evil and call it good.

Another central theme of the old classical liberal school was its confi-
dence in the ability of society to manage by itself and the futility of attempt-
ing to use the state apparatus as a mechanism for overriding the preferences
of individuals. This confidence in the ability of individuals to govern them-
selves stemmed from an understanding of the creative power of mutual
exchange in the absence of the state and the violence against person and
property unleashed by its presence.

This theme is returned to again and again in the course of the narrative
in both The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry
Finn , two great American novels in which the state is conspicuous for its
sheer absence. Indeed, this is part of the great charm and enduring power
of these two novels: they describe the affairs of a society that is in evolu-
tion apart from the state. The state has only one role in the novels and it is
entirely negative: it makes and enforces the fugitive slave laws. It is this fact
alone that turns Huckleberry and Jim into outlaws fleeing down tire Missis-
sippi to find freedom.

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What critics have called the mere sentimentalism of the close relation-
ship between the slave Jim, Tom, and Huck, can be more readily under-
stood as an archetype of the kind of social relations that emerge in the
condition of freedom. Their relationship is not characterized by conflict,
as people on the Left and Right might have it, but rather by humane and
mutual respect for each other as individual human beings. This was Clem-
ens’s essentially liberal vision of the capacity that people have for develop-
ing friendships apart from the coercion of the state.

Twain’s outlook is illustrated in a scene early in Tom Sawyer , a case of
mutually beneficial exchange in which subjective value is the overriding
principle:

Tom and Huck are exchanging banter about their possessions.

Tom says to Huck,

“Say — what’s that?”

“Nothing but a tick.”

“Where’d you get him?”

“Out in the woods.”

“What’ll you take for him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to sell him.”

“All right. It’s a mighty small tick, anyway.”

“Oh, anybody can run a tick down that don’t belong to
them. I’m satisfied with it. It’s a good enough tick for me.”

“Sho, there’s ticks a plenty. I could have a thousand of ’em
if I wanted to.”

“Well, why don’t you? Becuz you know mighty well you
can’t. This is a pretty early tick, I reckon. It’s the first one
I’ve seen this year.”

“Say, Huck — I’ll give you my tooth for him.”

“Less see it.”

Tom got out a bit of paper and carefully unrolled it. Huck-
leberry viewed it wistfully. The temptation was very strong.

At last he said:

“Is it genuwyne?”

Tom lifted his lip and showed the vacancy.

“Well, all right,” said Huckleberry, “it’s a trade.”

Mark Twain’s Radical Liberalism

281

Tom enclosed the tick in the percussion-cap box that had
lately been the pinchbug's prison, and the boys separated,
each feeling wealthier than before.

Here is an illustration of the principle of mutually beneficial exchange,
presented in the most reduced form, with the objects in question being of
virtually no value from the point of view of others, and commanding no
market price. But through a subtle change in the outlook of each boy, each
realizes that he would be somehow better off after the exchange than before.

The tick-for-tooth trade might seem like an irrelevant exchange in terms
of the macroeconomy but the principles that drive it and consummate it
are the very ones that bring about society itself. “The exchange relation is
the fundamental social relation,” writes Mises. “Interpersonal exchange of
goods and services weaves the bond which unites men into society .” 8

The same subjectivism and cognizance of the gains from trade is at the
heart of the story involving the manual labor of fence painting that takes
place at the beginning of Tom Sawyer. Tom bamboozles a series of kids to
do his work for him, on the grounds that it is not really work at all but rather
a high calling that he is proud to undertake. Once his friends observe that
Tom is enjoying his painting, they decide that they too would like to paint.
He refuses pending payment for the chance to do so. Tom then trades the
opportunity to paint a fence for a variety of goods: an apple, a kite, a dead
rat and “string to swing it with,” and more. These items may seem to be
worthless at one level, but to their owners, they are highly valuable.

More of a puzzle, the work that Tom’s friends purchase with these
goods is subjectively seen as more valuable than what they trade for it. This
would seem to violate neoclassical dictums concerning the disutility of
labor. Tom persuades them otherwise. He persuades them that the joy of
immediate gratification of a job well done more than compensates for the
disutility associated with the task.

As Rothbard writes,

A man will expend his labor as long as the marginal util-
ity of the return exceeds the marginal disutility of the labor
effort. A man will stop work when the marginal disutility
of labor is greater than the marginal utility of the increased
goods provided by the effort . 9

Human Action , Ludwig von Mises (Mises Institute, 2000), p. 194.
Man, Economy, and State (Mises Institute, 2004). p. 42.

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The boys did experience disutility from this negative-wage work, but
this was outweighed by the desire for the prestige associated with doing the
work, clearly a subjective note. And so we read in Tom Sawyer that as each
boy became tired of tire hard job, there was another worker there to take his
place.

Twain writes as follows:

Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world,
after all. He had discovered a great law of human action,
without knowing it — namely, that in order to make a man
or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the tiling
difficult to attain. If he had been a great and wise philos-
opher, like the writer of this hook, he would now have
comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is
obliged to do, and that Play consists of whatever a body
is not obliged to do. And this would help him to under-
stand why constructing artificial flowers or performing
on a tread-mill is work, while rolling ten-pins or climbing
Mont Blanc is only amusement.

This concept of “play” as a consumable good also finds a mention in
Rothbard:

Those activities which are engaged in purely for their own
sake are not labor but are pure play, consumers’ goods in
themselves. Play, as a consumers’ good, is subject to the law
of marginal utility as are all goods, and the time spent in
play will be balanced against the utility to be derived from
other obtainable goods . 10

Here is an example of how the economics of Tom Sawyer is infused
with a sense of the subjective as the determining factor in the decision to
trade or work or play. This subjectivism is at the heart of the economic the-
ory that drives the narrative.

An overriding problem that emerged with all this trading among the
kids was that it had to be in barter form. What was needed was a medium
of exchange, some item that would be universally desirable, divisible, dura-
ble, and finally exchangeable for a consumer good. A monetary economy
quickly develops that suits the need. The final consumer good was a bound

10 Man, Economy, and State , p. 42.

Mark Twain’s Radical Liberalism

283

Bible worth about 40 cents at the time, to be given away at the school to the
student who was most adept at memorizing Bible verses.

For each verse learned, a student would get a ticket. The bible could
be purchased through ten yellow tickets. One yellow ticket was equal to
ten red tickets. One red ticket was worth ten blue tickets. A student could
earn a blue ticket by memorizing two verses. Thus was the final consumer
good of the Bible priced as 2,000 memorized verses. The downside to this
system was that it was planned: the fixed and only way to acquire tickets
was through the performance of the single service of memorizing the Bible
verses.

Tom and his friends quickly found a way around it. To be sure, not even
the final consumer good was enough. As the narrator says, “Tom’s mental
stomach had never really hungered for one of those prizes, but unquestion-
ably his entire being had for many a day longed for the glory and the eclat
that came with it.”

Tom asked a friend:

“Say, Billy, got a yaller ticket?”

“Yes.”

“What’ll you take for her?”

“What’ll you give?”

“Piece of lickrish and a fish-hook.”

“Less see ’em.”

Tom exhibited. They were satisfactory, and the property
changed hands. Then Tom traded a couple of white alleys
for three red tickets, and some small trifle or other for a
couple of blue ones. He waylaid other boys as they came,
and went on buying tickets of various colors ten or fifteen
minutes longer.

Eventually Tom enters the church, and comes forward with nine yel-
low tickets, nine red tickets, and 10 blue ones — and thus was he eligible for
a Bible and all the status that came with earning one. The other boys imme-
diately realized that the basis of Tom’s fortune was his initial trafficking in
whitewashing privileges, and they were bitter and filled with envy. These
were, however, ex post feelings that do not impact at all on their ex ante
sense of having benefited from the exchanges.

In the end, however, Tom was found out when he was unable to answer
a simple Bible question that was asked of him.

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This embarrassing failure did not de-monetize the tickets, however,
even if they were somewhat devalued. A few scenes later, tire reader is wit-
ness to another mutually beneficial change.

Tom hailed the romantic outcast:

“Hello, Huckleberry!”

“Hello yourself, and see how you like it.”

“What's that you got?”

“Dead cat.”

“Lemrne see him, Huck. My, he’s pretty stiff. Where’d you

get him ?”

“Bought him off’n a boy.”

“What did you give?”

“I give a blue ticket and a bladder that I got at the

slaughter-house.”

“Where’d you get tire blue ticket?”

“Bought it off’n Ben Rogers two weeks ago for a

hoop-stick.”

“Say — what is dead cats good for, Huck?”

“Good for? Cure warts with.”

“No! Is that so? I know something that’s better.”

“I bet you don’t. What is it?”

“Why, spunk-water.”

“Spunk-water! I wouldn’t give a dem for spunk-water.”

“You wouldn’t, wouldn’t you? D’you ever try it?”

What follows is a long discussion of wart-curing methods, which ends
with Huck having been persuaded of the merit of spunk-water. But what
matters here is that the tickets continue to serve as a medium of exchange.
This monetary economy that had developed among the boys emerged in
tire absence of any kind of formal social pact or state involvement. It was the
result of human action rooted in subjective evaluations leading to a complex
of exchanges — a microversion of the same process that takes place in the
larger economy, where monetary entrepreneurs discover the most highly
valued good with monetary properties to serve as a medium of exchange.

Mark Twain’s Radical Liberalism

285

The experience of Tom with his attempt to accumulate wealth fore-
shadows the treasure hunt that leads to a harrowing crime story, the tracing
of a treasure, and a near death experience for Tom that ends with both Tom
and Huck as very wealthy at a young age.

Nothing about their new-found wealth changes anything about the
boys. They do not spend the money or even have much of a consciousness
of how the money might elevate their material position. Indeed, Huck gives
up his money in Huckleberry. “I don’t want it at all — nor the six thousand,
nuther. I want you to take it; I want to give it to you — the six thousand and
all.”

And so in this action, Huckleberry reveals a feature of the American
entrepreneurial mind, as Twain understands it. Those who have the right
mix of passion, creativity, and drive can become enormously wealthy but
the wealth alone is not the final goal but rather a means to further accom-
plishment, whether in the commercial sector or in charitable work. In Tom
and Huck’s case, they acquired their treasure, but found that possessing
was far less interesting than the thrill of discovery.

What drives their search for treasure is not materialism but the pursuit
of an ideal, an entrepreneurial push for discovery, adventure, and personal
satisfaction. In setting up the story in this way, Twain is offering a perspec-
tive on the commercial culture of a society of entrepreneurial freedom: it is
driven not so much by the demand for material reward but by the desire for
discovery and achievement, with the money serving as a measure of success
rather than the end itself.

The unusual treatment of wealth in the Tom Sawyer story foreshad-
owed events of the Gilded Age when large-scale capitalist enterprise cre-
ated vast wealth and gave rise to a class of entrepreneurs who came to real-
ize that they had more money at their disposal than the European royalty
of old. But simultaneous to this was the rise of large-scale professional phi-
lanthropy made possible by enormous gifts of this wealth. Like Huck Finn,
the so-called robber barons found their treasure but also gave vast sums of
it away.

Another profit-making venture makes an appearance in Tom Sawyer
Abroad , but in this case, the state intervenes to prevent Tom, Huck, and
Jim from carrying out their dream. Oddly, Tom, Huck, and Jim find them-
selves floating in a traveling balloon over the Sahara Desert. Following a
sandstorm, they wonder what they will do with all tire sand that has built up
in die basket.

Jim has the idea first: “Mars Tom, can’t we tote it back home en sell it?”

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After some reflection, Tom says,

“Well, the minute people knows it’s genuwyne sand from
the genuwyne Desert of Sahara, they’ll just be in a perfect
state of mind to git hold of some of it to keep on the what-
not in a vial with a label on it for a curiosity. All we got to do
is to put it up in vials and float around all over the United
States and peddle them out at ten cents apiece. We’ve got

all of ten thousand dollars’ worth of sand in this boat

And we can keep on coming back and fetching sand, and
coming hack and fetching more sand, and just keep it
a-going till we’ve carted this whole Desert over there and
sold it out; and there ain’t ever going to be any opposition,
either, because we’ll take out a patent.”

Tom’s excitement soon died out.

“Boys, it won’t work; we got to give it up.”

“Why, Tom?”

“On account of the duties.”

Jim and Huck ask what he is talking about. Tom explains that a duty
“is a tax”:

. . .Whenever you strike a frontier — that’s the border of a
country, you know — you find a custom-house there, and
the gov’ment officers comes and rummages among your
tilings and charges a big tax, which they call a duty because
it’s their duty to bust you if they can, and if you don’t pay
the duty they’ll hog your sand. They call it confiscating,
but that don’t deceive nobody, it’s just hogging, and that’s
all it is. Now if we try to carry this sand home the way we’re
pointed now, we got to climb fences till we git tired— just
frontier after frontier — Egypt, Arabia, Hindostan, and so
on, and they’ll all whack on a duty, and so you see, easy
enough, we can’t go that road.

. . . we’re shut off the other way, too. If we go back the way
we’ve come, there’s the New York custom-house, and that
is worse than all of them others put together, on account of
the kind of cargo we’ve got.”

“Wiry?”

Mark Twain’s Radical Liberalism

287

“Well, they can’t raise Sahara sand in America, of course,
and when they can’t raise a thing there, the duty is four-
teen hundred thousand per cent on it if you try to fetch it
in from where they do raise it.”

Huck says:

“There ain’t no sense in that, Tom Sawyer.”. . .

Jim says:

“Mars Tom, do dey jam dat duty onto everything we
can’t raise in America, en don’t make no ’stinction ’twix’
anything?”

“Yes, that’s what they do.”

“Mars Tom, ain’t de hlessin’ o’ de Lord de mos’ valuable
tiling dey is?”

“Yes, it is.”

Jim then goes on to point out that the blessing of the Lord might be
considered an untaxed import from heaven. If the government makes no
distinctions among imports, wouldn’t the government tax a blessing? And
if it doesn’t do so, and there is equality before the law, why should the state
tax any imports at all? Tom has no answer to this point.

The narrator comments:

[Tom] tried to wiggle out by saying they had forgot to put
on that tax, but they’d be sure to remember about it, next
session of Congress, and then they’d put it on, but that
was a poor lame come-off, and he knowed it. He said there
warn’t nothing foreign that warn’t taxed but just that one,
and so they couldn’t be consistent without taxing it, and to
be consistent was the first law of politics. So he stuck to it
that they’d left it out unintentional and would be certain to
do their best to fix it before they got caught and laughed at.

This passage is a rare intrusion of a direct discussion of the state in
books that are so beloved and compelling precisely because they concern
themselves with unmanaged human action on a small scale, and readers are
invited to share in the mystery and beauty of microcivilizations that result
from the casual engagement of people. It is because Twain focused on this
social phenomenon and understood its underlying dynamic so well that he
is considered such a great American novelist, for he celebrated the human

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capacity for mutual exchange and understood that order results from liberty
and that violent power can only create distortion.

Twain in his books did not create an image of a utopia that would exist
in absence of power. There is criminality, clan violence, cruelty, and big-
otry — all features of human nature that are not eradicated with a state but
only centralized, organized, and legitimized.

But his work does posit that the essential job of developing civilization
toward an ideal is to be undertaken by private individuals in their social and
economic lives, and not by some mythical institution called the state or an
ideology that contradicts the practical experience of people in their com-
munities. A good example comes from his explanation of how the Missis-
sippi came to be discovered in the fullest sense, not merely observed but
seen as something economically useful.

Here is Twain from Life on the Mississippi :

After De Soto glimpsed the river, a fraction short of a quar-
ter of a century elapsed, and then Shakespeare was born;
lived a trifle more than half a century, then died; and when
he had been in his grave considerably more than half a cen-
tury, the second white man saw the Mississippi

The mere mysteriousness of the matter ought to have
fired curiosity and compelled exploration; but this did not
occur. Apparently nobody happened to want such a river,
nobody needed it, nobody was curious about it; so, for a
century and a half the Mississippi remained out of the mar-
ket and undisturbed. When De Soto found it, he was not
hunting for a river, and had no present occasion for one;
consequently he did not value it or even take any particular
notice of it.

But at last La Salle, the Frenchman, conceived the idea of
seeking out that river and exploring it. It always happens
that when a man seizes upon a neglected and important
idea, people inflamed with the same notion crop up all
around. It happened so in this instance.

Naturally the question suggests itself, Why did these peo-
ple want the river now when nobody had wanted it in the
five preceding generations? Apparently it was because at

Mark Twain’s Radical Liberalism

289

this late day they thought they had discovered a way to
make it useful . 11

Here is the essence of the Austrian idea of entrepreneurship: it is not
merely finding a technology or resource. Rather, it concerns viewing a pos-
sible economic use of that resource given existing economic realities and
making ajudgment about the future employment of those resources to serve
human ends. It is in this area that the market excels, and the state so com-
pletely fails.

As Clemens himself once wrote,

The mania for giving the Government power to med-
dle with the private affairs of cities or citizens is likely to
cause endless trouble . . . and there is great danger that our
people will lose that independence of thought and action
which is the cause of much of our greatness, and sink
into the helplessness of the Frenchman or German who
expects his government to feed him when hungry, clothe
him when naked . . . and, in time, to regulate every act of
humanity from the cradle to the tomb, including the man-
ner in which he may seek future admission to paradise . 12

11 Life on the Mississippi (Boston: James Osgood and Company, 1883), pp. 30-31.

12 Twain’s letter to Enterprise on January 24, 1866. Cited in Budd, p. 38-39.

The Awful Strife of Nature

November 23, 2007

E nvironmentalism, it’s been said, is the ideological luxury of city dwell-
ers in modern life, for anyone who lives outside an urban or suburban
environment knows the truth: nature is vicious and cruel and works
relentlessly to make the life of man a living Hell.

I was reminded of this when looking at the horrible, bloody gashes on
my brother's domesticated cat, a sweet animal that lives in harmony with his
superiors, the human family that owns and cares for him. The violence had
been inflicted by another cat, a wild animal that is much bigger and lacks
tire mirage of conscience that we try to infuse in our pets.

The wild animal arrives at the back porch of this house nestled in the
country on the edge of the West Texas desert. When no one is looking, the
wild animal terrorizes the domestic cat, stealing food, slashing at his fur and
skin, and generally try to rid the world of its competition for survival.

One would think it would be easy enough to kill it, but it is cunning
beyond all expectation. I wandered through the mesquite and wild grass
looking for him, rifle in hand, but he knew where I was going and hid mag-
nificently. Once I gave up he would appear again as if to taunt me. I would
go out with the gun again, and it would start all over.

As my brother and I waited in silence by tire reservoir, I noted a skull sit-
ting by the water. Where did this come from? Wild dogs, came the answer.
They have been prowling for three months. They target the goats. Three
months ago, there were 16 goats, domesticated and happy. Then one day
tire dogs arrived. At night, they hop the fence and kill them and drag them
away. Sometimes they ravaged them to the bone right on the spot, and leave
tire goat remains to bake in the sun.

291

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Man’s best friend!

The goat herd was down to three. One missing goat made everyone
particularly sad. It was undersized, born early, white with brown spots. It
was brought close to the house and reared in safety. After several months,
it was big enough to care for itself and it was allowed to roam with the oth-
ers. It only lasted a day, however. It was the first one targeted in the season’s
opening massacre. The baby goat was dinner for dogs.

Such problems as this dominate country life. When it’s not dogs and
coyotes and wild cats, it’s other varmints such as raccoons and hyenas, not
to mention snakes and scorpions. Birds devour the fish in the pond. Turtles
compete for food. Then there is the plant life, which is far from harmless to
the well being of people. Poison plants and thorny bushes dare us to walk
outside areas we have tilled. They choked out new plantings. Then there is
tire weather, which seems to be constantly conspiring to make our lives mis-
erable and foil our plans.

Generally the picture you gain from living in this environment for more
than a few days is tire very opposite of the “preservationist” outlook you get
from environmental propaganda. If we are to survive in this cruel world, the
only option is to tame it or kill it. It’s them or us. We hear about tire precious
and delicate balance of nature, how species help each to thrive in a mystical
cycle of being, but all we witness is a “natural” kill-or-be-killed practice that
is so awful you can hardly watch.

The cruel competition for survival is not limited to animals. It extends
to plants, to all things. And it could easily characterize the actions of peo-
ple, absent the civilizing institutions of exchange, ownership, and the mar-
ketplace — the scene of peace in which man uses his reason to create and
develop, cooperate and flourish.

And what is war but the very opposite of this impulse, a reversal of rea-
son and an attempt at practicing authentic “environmentalism” in which
tire choice is to kill or be killed?

As I thought of the lessons here, going through my head were the
words of a speech delivered by Absalom Weaver in Garet Garrett’s novel
Satan’s Bushel , a book of agricultural life with a speech by Weaver that has
profound economic and political significance. For in this speech, he com-
pares what is the same and what is different between man and nature. In so
doing, he draws attention to aspects of nature that are completely forgotten
amid the propaganda.

The Awful Strife of Nature

293

The setting is a gathering of farmers, who are being lectured by a gov-
ernment bureaucrat at the turn of the 20th century. They are being told
to join the federal effort to coordinate wheat sales among themselves, as a
means of driving up prices. The problem, as they see it, is that farmers are
fighting for their livelihoods in an age of rising industrialization. How can
tlrey survive? The bureaucrat offers one way. Weaver offers another:

“This natural elm,” he began, with an admiring look at the tree, “was
once a tiny thing. A sheep might have eaten it at one bite. Every living thing
around it was hostile and injurious. And it survived. It grew. It took its
profit. It became tall and powerful beyond the reach of enemies. What pre-
served it — cooperative marketing? What gave it power — a law from Con-
gress? What gave it fullness — the Golden Rule? On what was its strength
founded — a fraternal spirit? You know better. Your instincts tell you no. It
saved itself. It found its own greatness. How? By fighting.

“Did you know that plants fight? If only you could see the deadly, cease-
less warfare among plants this lovely landscape would terrify you. It would
make you think man’s struggles tame. I will show you some glimpses of it.

“I hold up this leaf from the elm. The reason it is flat and thin is that the
peaceable work of its life is to gather nourishment for the tree from the air.
Therefore it must have as much surface as possible to touch the air with.
But it has another work to do. A grisly work. A natural work all the same. It
must fight.

“For that use it is pointed at the end as you see and has teeth around the
edge — these. The first thing the elm plant does is to grow straight up out
of the ground with a spear thrust, its leaves rolled tightly together. Its ene-
mies do not notice it. Then suddenly each leaf spreads itself out and with its
teeth attacks other plants; it overturns them, holds them out of the sunlight,
drowns them. And this is the tree! Do you wonder why the elm plant does
not overrun the earth? Because other plants fight back, each in its own way.

“I show you a blade of grass. It has no teeth. How can it fight? Perhaps
it lives by love and sweetness. It does not. It grows very fast by stealth, taking
up so little room that nothing else minds, until all at once it is tall and sU'ong
enough to throw out blades in every direction and fall upon other plants. It
smothers them to death. Then the bramble. I care not for the bramble. Not
because it fights. For another reason. Here is its weapon. Besides the spear
point and the teeth the bramble leaf you see is in jive parts, like one’s hand.
It is a hand in fact, and one very hard to cast off. When it cannot overthrow
and kill an enemy as the elm does, it climbs up his back to light and air, and

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in fact prefers that opportunity, gaining its profit not in natural combat but
in shrewd advantage, like the middleman.

“Another plant I would like to show you. There is one near by. Unfortu-
nately it would be inconvenient to exhibit him in these circumstances. His
familiar name is honeysuckle. He is sleek, suave, brilliantly arrayed, and you
would not suspect his nature, which is that of the preying speculator. Once
you are in his toils it is hopeless. If you have not drowned or smothered
him at first he will get you. The way of this plant is to twist itself round and
round another and strangle it.

“This awful strife is universal in plant life. There are no exemptions.
Among animals it is not so fierce. They can run from one another. Plants
must fight it out where they stand. They must live or die on the spot. Among
plants of one kind there is rivalry. The weak fall out and die; the better sur-
vive. That is the principle of natural selection. But all plants of one kind
fight alike against plants of all other kinds. That is the law of their strength.
None is helped but who first helps himself. A race of plants that had wasted
its time waiting for Congress to give it light and air, or for a state bureau with
hired agents to organize it by the Golden Rule, or had been persuaded that
its interests were in common with those of the consumer, would have disap-
peared from the earth.”

Garrett provides this speech as a warning to producers tied to the land:
they must be fighters or die. The warning to all of us is that we must under-
stand that nature is only provisionally tamed. In truth, we live in the wild,
and we are only a step away from being devoured by it.

The Works of Leonard E. Read

March 31, 2009

f a ^he works of Leonard E. Read, who founded the Foundation for
Economic Education (FEE) in 1946, are now online at the Mises
JL Institute. It is probably not the complete collected works, but it is all
that he collected in book form. These are books that shaped several genera-
tions of activists, donors, writers, and intellectuals. They are the hooks that
kick-started the libertarian movement after World War II. The sons of FEE
went on to do great good for the world, and FEE is often called tire father of
all libertarian think tanks — institutions that work outside official academia
to advance radical ideas.

Read did more than merely sponsor lectures and publish. As a matter
of fact, others were doing the same. So far as I know, no one has yet noticed
that he used a secret weapon in his struggle, something that made him truly
different and unusually effective. He eschewed the use of exclusive copy-
right. That is to say, he encouraged the widest possible distribution of his
work and did not forbid others from copying his infinitely reproducible
ideas.

Pick up any book or publication from FEE before the 1990s. You will
see a remarkable and visionary sentence on the copyright page:

Permission to reprint granted without special request.

This one sentence is what made it happen. Any newspaper could print
a column. Any publisher could include an essay. Indeed, he invited any
publisher to take any FEE book and publish it and sell it, owing no royalties
and asking no permissions.

The publisher was not even asked to acknowledge its source! So, in this
sense, he was even more radical than the Creative Commons attribution

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license. An FEE book was copyrighted solely so that someone else couldn’t
copyright it, and then maximum permissions were granted. In effect, Read
was putting all of the scholarship of FEE in the public domain as soon as it
was published.

This saved on the grueling bureaucratic struggle involved in granting
permissions and keeping up with the permissions granted. Asking no fees
or royalties meant saving on accounting bureaucracy as well.

Read was no anarchist. He was a believer in “limited government,” but
regardless, this much is true: he hated the state beyond its most limited form.
He saw it as the great enemy of freedom, creativity, and social progress. In
fact, he was even more radical: he loathed all restrictions on information.
He must have seen that restricting tire flow of information through conven-
tional copyright relies upon state interference to make a nonscarce thing —
information — artificially scarce. This went against his entire temperament.

As he wrote, “Freedom works its wonders simply because the genera-
tive capacity of countless millions has no external force standing against its
release!”

But there is a more important point that Read understood. He under-
stood that the critical problem faced by what he called tire “freedom philos-
ophy” was not piracy. From his point of view, the ideas of liberty were not
“stolen” nearly enough. The problem that he sought to overcome was not
too much copying; it was not enough copying. He saw that his number-one
goal had to be busting up the obscurity of these ideas and getting them out
to the public. Conventional copyright was not a help in this respect; it was
a hindrance.

Never forget that Read had a background in business. He was head of
tire Chamber of Commerce in Los Angeles before founding FEE. He must
have seen countless businesses start and fail, not because they didn’t have a
good product, but because people didn’t know about the product enough
to go and buy it. The critical problem that every innovator faces, after com-
ing up with the innovation, is getting the word out.

Think of a new hamburger stand in Los Angeles. It doesn’t matter how
great the burgers are; if people don’t know about it, it will not succeed.
Imagine if some huge fan wanted to print up T-shirts about the hamburgers.
Wiry in the world would the owner of the joint want to use the government
to extract money from tire T-shirt printer? That would be nuts.

And let’s say that another burger company in town started up that used
tire same recipe. What then? The answer is to regard the imitation as flattery,

The Works of Leonard E. Read

297

and compete in the most aggressive possible way. It keeps you on your toes,
keeps you innovating, and the excitement of the competition itself can attract
imitation. And who is going to benefit the most from this struggle, the origi-
nal institution or its copy? The answer is shown to us every day. Origina-
tors who continue to innovate benefit from having their products and ideas
spread.

In the same way, Read saw himself in the idea business. Why, then,
would he turn to the state to restrict the flow of ideas? That would cut into
everything he ever wanted to do. Indeed, rather than restricting access to
FEE texts, he begged the world to take them and print them and distribute
them. He wanted this more than anything else.

You will note that he was very prolific; but why? Because he had a life-
time burning passion to get the word out in every possible way. He stated
the freedom philosophy again and again in every way he could imagine
and encouraged others to do the same. He was an evangelist spreading the
news. He wanted to be pirated so that he could see that he was making a
difference.

Reading his books, you will find that he was repetitive, and, if we want
to be critical, it could be noted that he rarely dealt in depth with any par-
ticular technical aspect of economics or commented much on the news. He
eschewed techniques that pass for rigorous analysis today. But we need a
greater appreciation for two tilings:

1. He knew that the most important task of educating was to inspire
people to understand the big picture, and

2. On the big-picture issue of the capacity of society to manage itself,
he was 100% correct.

He had this gigantic faith in freedom. He often said that he could not
and would not predict the outcome of granting liberty to individuals and
could not and would not speculate on the shape that society would take
under conditions of freedom. But he could say for certain that whatever the
results of freedom, they would be more consonant with human rights, more
prosperous, more creative, and more orderly than anything that the state
could manufacture through coercion.

Taking leaps into the unknown was this man’s habit of mind, something
he believed in strongly. When people warned him that granting universal
reprint permissions would cut into FEE revenue, he would completely dis-
miss die notion. His view was diat, insofar as FEE could do its part to make

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the universe open-ended, it would do that and trust that the results would
be better than restriction.

He shared this faith with people like Bastiat, who is a similar figure in
history: these were two men who had a firm conviction about a point of
social organization that manages to elude most every living person at any
point in history. They believed that freedom was all that was necessary to
make the good society happen. They were both tireless in making the point
and strove to find every possible way to teach it.

Thank goodness for his vision. But please note what it means. The
modern freedom movement depended heavily on open-source materials.
It had an effect on the world because it eschewed state means of imposing
artificial scarcities and sought above all else to get the word out. The mod-
ern libertarian movement was born in the equivalent of Creative Commons
and grew through that means.

“Originators who continue to innovate benefit from having their prod-
ucts and ideas spread.”Indeed it was true: FEE material was everywhere!
It was in newspapers, magazines, monographs, books, and printed by all
existing technologies. People in those days report that you couldn’t help
bumping into it. Pm telling you that Read knew what he was doing. He
went against the pack. Everyone else was availing themselves of copyright.
He said no. And he stuck to it.

Did this harm FEE? Quite the contrary! It was the best thing that ever
happened to the institution and to the ideas it represented. Just as Read
said, freedom worked. The implications are profound.

This is all about practicing what you preach, but there is more to it than
that: it is about developing an effective tactic for spreading the truth. It’s a
glorious thing that Read did, if only by instinct. Would that we all had his
instinct for how to rise from obscurity into prominence.

The Genius of Rube Goldberg

April 28, 2005

E veryone has heard something described as a Rube Goldberg machine,
and most of us know what this means: some crazy convoluted way of
accomplishing a task that would otherwise be quite simple. That’s
how Webster’s defines it. The phase most often applies to overly compli-
cated software but it was also applied to the Clinton health care plan and
might also he applied to emerging Social Security reform.

How fascinating, then, to discover the man and legend behind the
expression, and to reflect on his remarkable turn of mind and the light it
sheds on the world around us. Reuben Goldberg, born in 1883 in San
Francisco, was the son of Hannah and Max Goldberg, who had immigrated
from Prussia and lived in New York before moving West.

Rube studied to be an engineer and did that for a while until he could
convince his father that his avocation as a cartoonist should be his profes-
sion. Rube worked in San Francisco and later in New York. He lived a long
and wonderful life as a genius cartoonist and also a writer, actor, and sculp-
tor. Even aside from his contraptions, he was popular for his long-running
series called “Foolish Questions,” which was turned into a board game. He
made animated cartoons and wrote short stories too. He received the Pulit-
zer Prize in 1948. He died in 1970.

But of course it was his cartoon inventions that made his name. A book
called Inventions (N.Y.: Simon and Schuster, 2000) collects his most famous
material, mostly consisting of hilarious and overcomplicated machinery to
accomplish simple tasks like turning a page of music or emptying out sand
from shoes or closing a window and swatting a fly or prevent a dinner plate
from sliding in the dining room of a rocking boat. In a goofy sort of way, his
works celebrates the inventor and innovator, and the problem-solving spirit.

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All of it was justly popular during the so-called Age of Invention, and seems
to have experienced a revival today.

But there’s an edge here too: Goldberg’s work ridicules intellectualism
unhinged from the market test. As Rothbard wrote about entrepreneurship,
and Stephen Carson recently elaborated, it is not enough merely to conjure
up an idea; the idea must be backed by real property put at risk in the real
world and subjected to the market test. Innovation alone does not make for
progress. It is innovation within the framework of a market economy that
serves society.

The sheer goofy genius of Goldberg’s work also illustrates a Hayekian
theme of the error of rationalism detached from reality. Society works
not because a single mastermind has preset all the moving parts. It works
because people find ways to cooperate through private actions that follow
signs and rules that cannot be anticipated but can nonetheless he coordi-
nated. Society and its workings cannot be mapped out, and the attempt to
do so can create ffameable images but not civilizations.

Each Goldberg contraption takes a few minutes to figure out, as the
cartoonist explains to the reader the workings of each part. There’s always
at least one implausible step that will guarantee failure in real life, but that’s
also the fun. Sometimes it involves supposing that people will do something
tlrey are not likely to do — an Arabian dwarf acrobat reaching for a trapeze at
die right moment, for example. Sometimes it involves a problem of timing —
I’m thinking here of his fire extinguisher that depends at a crucial point on a
frog’s leg motions moving a knife that cuts a chain!

Sometimes the whole thing is obviously nuts from the very outset. A
good example is “The Latest Simple Flyswatter”

The Genius of Rube Goldberg

301

Carbolic acid (A) drops on string (B) causing it to break
and release elastic of bean shooter (C) which projects ball
(D) into bunch of garlic (E) causing it to fall into syrup can
(F) and splash syrup violently against side wall. Fly (G)
buzzes with glee and goes for syrup, his favorite dish. But-
ler-dog (FI) mistakes hum of fly’s wings for door buzzer
and runs to meet visitor, pulling rope (I) which turns stop-
go signal (J) and causes baseball bat (K) to sock fly who
falls to floor unconscious. As fly drops to floor pet trout
(F) jumps for him, misses, and lands in net (M). Weight of
fish forces shoe (N) down on fallen fly and puts him out of
tire running for all time.

What surprised me — though it should not have — was to discover that
Mr. Goldberg seems to have been very solid on politics too. All the draw-
ings in the politics section show government as the most complicated and
unworkable machinery of all, that nonetheless does accomplish its primary
goal of giving some people power at others’ expense.

This drawing is perhaps the best visual description of central planning
I’ve seen.

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Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Goldberg’s art exhibits a disdain for supposed experts who have an
inflated sense of their own mastery. The class that presumes to rob people
for their own good comes under special scrutiny. Thus did Goldberg not
spare the state and its minions. Taxes in particular, low by the standards of
our own time, came in for hard knocks under his pen. Here, laughing gas is
applied in order to keep the working man from noticing how much the gov-
ernment is taking from him.

W/XiCT
//AM ACTOR
/ff/lAV/i/O' A Pfi/AUSf,
TAK/iS A /. lOW -

JtPKAY/A/G
IAUGH///G C/AS
on enPioYt-F,
Jppsp/ns ///m
r/iOS-1 GPTT///G

ocsro///>i-:/rr
/? PAYCf/£Cf<

~>£ t>OCT /O/JS -

Pvt. IS POP.
WOPK/SJG
APPLAOSP.

SIMPLE MACHINE
TO KEEP EMPLOYEES
HAPPY ON PAY DAY

How charming to discover that the web has an official Rube Gold-
berg website, and that there is an annual Rube Goldberg Machine Con-
test at Purdue University and also one for high school students. You don’t
need to submit or attend to enjoy Goldberg’s genius. The book Inven-
tions will keep you busy for months, or you can examine many machines at
RubeGoldberg.com.

A Book that Changes Everything

January 16, 2009

A t a taped video interview in my office, before the crew would start
the camera, a man had to remove my Picasso prints from the wall.
The prints are probably under copyright, they said.

But the guy who drew them died 30 years ago. Besides, they are mine.
Doesn’t matter. They have to go.

What about the poor fellow who painted the wall behind the prints?
Wiry doesn’t he have a copyright? If I scrape off the paint, there is tire dry-
wall and its creator. Behind the drywall are the boards, which are surely pro-
prietary too. To avoid the “intellectual-property” thicket, maybe we have to
sit in an open field; but there is the problem of the guy who last mowed the
grass. Then there is tire inventor of tire grass to consider.

Is there something wrong with this picture?

The worldly-wise say no. This is just the way things are. It is not for us
to question but to obey. So it is with all despotisms in history. They become
so woven into the fabric of daily life that absurdities are no longer ques-
tioned. Only a handful of daring people are capable of thinking along com-
pletely different lines. But when they do, the earth beneath our feet moves.

Such is the case with Against Intellectual Monopoly (Cambridge Uni-
versity Press, 2008) by Michele Boldrin and David Levine, two daring pro-
fessors of economics at Washington University in St. Louis. They have writ-
ten a book that is likely to rock your world, as it has mine. (It is also posted
on their site with the permission of the publisher.)

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With piracy and struggles over intellectual property in the news daily,
it is time to wonder about this issue, its relationship to freedom, property
rights, and efficiency. You have to think seriously about where you stand.

This is not one of those no-brainer issues for libertarians, like minimum
wage or price controls. The problem is complicated, and solving it requires
careful thought. But it is essential that every person do the thinking, and
there is no better tool for breaking the intellectual gridlock than this book.

The issue is impossible to escape, from the grave warnings you get from
tire FBI at the beginning of “your” DVD to the posters warning kids never
to download a song, to the outrageous settlements transferring billions from
firm to firm. It even affects the outrageous prices you pay for medicine at the
drug store. The issue of “intellectual property” is a ubiquitous part of mod-
ern life.

Some of the police-state tactics used to enforce IP have to make anyone
with a conscience squeamish. You have surely wondered about the right
and wrong of all this, but, if you are like most people, you figure that copy-
rights and patents are consistent with the justice that comes from giving the
innovator his due. In principle they seem fine, even if the law might be in
need of reform.

The first Fd ever thought critically about issues of intellectual property
was in reading about it in the abstract many years ago. The Austrian posi-
tion has traditionally favored copyrights on the same grounds it has favored
property rights in general, but has tended to oppose patents on grounds
that they are government grants of monopolistic privilege. Machlup, Mises,
and Rothbard — as well as Stigler, Plant, and Penrose — have discussed the
issue but not at great length and with varying levels of cautious skepticism.

That changed in 200 1 with the publication of Stephan Kinsella’s arti-
cle and now monograph “Against Intellectual Property.” He made a strong
theoretical argument that ideas are not scarce, do not require rationing, are
not diminished by their dissemination, and so cannot really be called prop-
erty. All IP is unjust, he wrote. It is inconsistent with libertarian ethics and
contrary to a free market. He favors the complete repeal of all intellectual-
property laws.

The argument initially struck me as crazy on its face. As I considered
it further, my own view gradually changed: it’s not crazy, I thought, but it
is still pie-in- the-sky theorizing that has nothing to do with reality. Kinsel-
la’s article appeared just before the explosive public interest in this subject.
The patent regime has in the meantime gone completely wild, with nearly
200,000 patents issued every year in the United States, and half a million

A Book that Changes Everything

305

more in other countries — with 6. 1 million patents in effect worldwide — and
large firms collecting stockpiles of them.

And the copyright issue has led to a massive struggle between genera-
tions: young people live by “pirating” music, movies, software, whereas the
old consider this practice to presage the end of the capitalist system as we
know it. The music industry has spent billions trying to contain the prob-
lem and only ended up engendering consumer embitterment and terrible
public relations.

Kinsella’s article continued to haunt me personally. It took about six
years or so, but I finally worked through all the theoretical problems and
came to embrace his view, so you might say that I was predisposed to hear
what Boldrin and Levine have to say. What I hadn’t realized until encoun-
tering their book was just how far-reaching and radical the implications of a
detailed look at IP really are.

It is not just a matter of deciding what you believe from a theoretical or
political perspective. It is not just a matter of thinking that “pirates” are not
really violating moral law. To fully absorb what these authors say changes
tire way you look at technology, at history, at the ebbs and flows of economic
development; it even changes who the good guys and bad guys are in the
history of civilization.

Kinsella deals expertly with the theoretical aspects, while Against Intel-
lectual Monopoly doesn’t really go into the theory at great length. What this
amazing book deals with is the real-world practice of intellectual-property
regulation now and in history. I can make a personal guarantee that not
a single objection you think you have to their thesis goes unaddressed in
these pages. Their case is like the sun that melts all snow for many miles in
all directions.

The implications are utterly shattering, and every day I’ve turned the
pages in the Boldrin/Levine book I’ve felt that sense of intellectual stimula-
tion that comes along rarely in life — that sense that makes you want to grab
anyone off the street and tell that person what this book says. It helps you
understand many things that had previously been confusing. The emergent
clarity that comes from having absorbed this work is akin to what it must
feel like to hear or see for the first time. If they are right, the implications are
astonishing.

Their main thesis is a seemingly simple one. Copyright and patents
are not part of the natural competitive order. They are products of positive
law and legislation, imposed at the behest of market winners as a means of
excluding competition. They are government grants of monopolies, and,

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as neoclassical economists with a promarket disposition, the authors are
against monopoly because it raises prices, generates economic stagnation,
inhibits innovation, robs consumers, and rewards special interests.

What they have done is apply this conventional model of monopoly to
one of the most long-lasting, old-world forms of mercantilist/monopolistic
institutional privilege, a surviving form of the mercantilist privilege of the
16th century. IP is like a dam in the river of development, or perhaps very
large boulders that impede the flow.

They too favor its total repeal but their case goes far beyond the theo-
retical. They convince you that radical, far-reaching, uncompromising, rev-
olutionary reform is essential to our social well-being now and in the future.

The results are dazzling and utterly persuasive. I personally dare any-
one who thinks that he believes in patent or copyright to read this book and
deal with it. For this reason, I’m thrilled that the Mises Institute is now car-
rying the book to give it the broadest possible exposure.

I’m not sure what aspect of their case is the most powerful. Here are just
a few examples:

They show that people like James Watt, Eli Whitney, and the Wright
Brothers are not heroes of innovation, as legend has it, but rent-seeking mer-
cantilists who dramatically set back the cause of technological development.
These people spent vast resources prohibiting third parties from improving
“their” product and making it available at a cheaper price. Instead of pro-
moting innovation and profitability, they actually stopped it, even at the cost
of their own business dreams.

The authors show that every great period of innovation in human his-
tory has taken place in the absence of intellectual property, and that every
thicket of IP has ended up stagnating the industries to which they apply.
Think of the early years of the web, in which open-source technology
inspired breakneck development, until patents and copyright were imposed
with the resulting cartelization of operating systems. Even today, the great-
est innovations in digital communications come from the highly profitable
open-source movement.

It is impossible to develop software without running into IP problems,
and the largest players are living off IP and not innovation. Meanwhile, the
most profitable and most innovative sector of the web, the porn sector, has
no access to courts and IP enforcement because of the stigma associated
with it. It is not an accident that absence of IP coincides with growth and
innovation. The connection is causal.

A Book that Changes Everything

307

And look at the industries that do not have IP access, such as clothing
design and architecture and perfume. They are huge and fast-moving and
fabulous. First movers still make the big bucks, without coercing competi-
tion. Boldrin and Levine further speculate that IP is behind one of tire great
puzzles of the last millennium: stagnation in classical music. The sector is
seriously burdened and tethered by IP.

Other mysteries are answered. Wiry no musical composition of note in
England after 1750? England had the world’s most strict copyright laws.
Why was English literature so popular in the United States in 19th-cen-
tury schoolrooms? It could be imported without copyright restriction —
and therefore sold cheaply — whereas American authors used IP and limited
their market. And consider the irony that Disney, which relies heavily on IP,
got its start and makes it largest profits by retelling public-domain stories!

Examples like this abound. One wonders if the modern history of lit-
erature and art needs to be completely rewritten. Examples will occur to
you that are not discussed in the book, such as fan fiction. It is technically
illegal, so far as anyone can tell, to take a copyrighted character and tell a
story about him even if the story is original. And yet Harry Potter fan-fiction
sites enjoy tens of millions of hits per month. One hosts 5,000 pieces of
fan fiction, some as long as 1 ,000 pages. Enforcement has been spotty and
unpredictable.

And yes, the book covers the poster child of the IP world: pharma-
ceuticals. Boldrin and Levine muster plenty of evidence that IP here does
nothing to promote innovation and widespread availability and is largely
responsible for the egregiously high prices of drugs that are driving the sys-
tem toward socialization.

The authors explore the very strange tendency of capitalists to misdi-
agnose the source of their profits in a world of IP, spending far more on
beating up pirates than they would have earned in a free market. They fur-
ther demonstrate that IP is a form of exploitation and expropriation that is
gravely dangerous for civilization itself.

In short, they have taken what might seem to be merely a geeky concern
and moved it to the center of the discussion over economic development
itself.

What about the far-flung conclusion that IP should be repealed? The
authors take away your fears. The development of IP came about in the
16th century as a mechanism for governments to enforce political control
and punish dissenters. The cause of this “property right” was then taken
over by individuals in the 18th and 19 th century as part of the liberal revo-

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lution for individual rights. In the 20th century, it was transferred again, to
corporations, who become the effective owners through copyright. The
creators no longer own anything, and let themselves be beaten and abused
by their own publishers and production companies.

Boldrin and Levine’s thesis really steps up this issue. It makes you won-
der how long authors and creators will put up with the nonsense that some
company has a state-enforced exclusive to use the work of others for longer
than 100 years. Fortunately, the digital age is forcing the issue, and alter-
natives like Creative Commons (roughly akin to what would exist in a free
market) are becoming increasingly popular. As the tyranny has grown more
obvious, the free market is responding.

No, die authors are not really Austrian, and I’m not even sure that they
can be called libertarians, but they understand the competitive process in
ways that would make Hayek and Mises proud. As I’ve thought more about
dreir book, it seems that it might suggest a revision in classical-liberal theory.
We have traditionally thought that cooperation and competition were the
two pillars of social order; a third could be added: emulation. In addition,
dr ere is surely work to do here that integrates Hayek’s theory of knowledge
with die problem of IP.

If the book lacks for anything, it is precisely what Kinsella provides: a
robust theory behind the practical analytics. But since Kinsella has already
provided this, the value added of real-world application is enormous. I have
a minor nit to pick with Boldrin and Levine on their passing comment on
trademarks, which strikes me as wrong. Otherwise, this book moves moun-
tains; A book like this conies along very rarely. Against Intellectual Monopoly
is a relatively small manifesto on economics that absolutely must be under-
stood and absorbed by every thinking person without exception.

Business Cycles, Not Our Fault

November 21, 2008

Lese are times when you just feel like yelling at the people who write

the news, particularly the business press. They are happy to report,

J- word for word, what the Fed and Treasury Department tell them,
and their message is always the same: hey, it’s not our fault; in fact, we are
fixing the problem!

We are told that the economy has tanked because foreigners invested
too much in the U.S., that foreigners saved too much money, that we all lived
beyond our means, that greedy capitalists fed our materialist instincts until
we popped, or any combination of the above. Or maybe business cycles are
just like weather, cold one season and hot the next. Regardless, it is the gov-
ernment that must come to the rescue with the usual combination of cocka-
mamie schemes.

Discovering the Austrian business cycle theory, then, is a revelation,
because through it, you learn how tire whole business traces to loose money
and credit generated by the Fed. The money is pumped into the capital-
goods fashion of the day, in this case housing. The whole sector becomes
overbuilt and unsustainable and it turns, tanking many other sectors. The
only answer to the problem is not more of the poison that caused the prob-
lem but a real liquidation.

This time around, the theory is more in circulation than ever before —
thanks to the Mises Institute — but you still don’t see evidence of conscious-
ness on the part of “establishment” journalists.

It turns out that this was also true at the onset of the Great Depression.
The cause of the crash of 1929 and its effects was not unknown to that gen-
eration either. There were people saying the right things. It’s just that the

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press and the establishment ignored them. Here’s the evidence: A Bubble
that Broke the World , by Garet Garrett, published in 1932. Here he lays it
all out.

“This is a delusion about credit. And whereas from the nature of credit
it is to be expected that a certain line will divide the view between credi-
tor and debtor, the irrational fact in this case is that for more than ten years
debtors and creditors together have pursued the same deceptions. In many
ways, as will appear, the folly of the lender has exceeded the extravagance of
tire borrower.”

He goes on to explain how the debt overhang of the First World War
is the root cause; how society came to accept the idea that if people can’t
immediately afford stuff, government should provide it; how government
came to operate on a bankrupt system; how we came to believe that pros-
perity came from credit rather than savings; and how the Federal Reserve,
working with government, is the root source of the problem.

Beautiful. Magnificently written, as only Garrett can. How could any-
one have missed it? He wasn’t exactly obscure. He wrote for the Saturday
Evening Post. Incredibly, he chronicled the New Deal blow by blow in the
Saturday Evening Post , every rotten law, every goofy plan, every attack on
liberty, property, and economic sanity. There was no mystery here. The
proof: Salvos Against the New Deal, an assembly of his best work from this
period.

In other words, the cause, the effects, the folly, the power grabs — it’s
all here, and all eerily similar to what we are experiencing today. We call
it the Great Depression. But had the politicians not intervened, it would
have been known as the 1929 crash, and it might have been as memorable
as many other crashes in American history. The difference this time was
tire application of “modern economic methods” to cure the thing, methods
which only ended up prolonging human suffering.

Let’s talk of two other cases in which the error was pointed out. Lord
Lionel Robbins wrote in 1934. His book called The Great Depression ,
much more technical and scholarly than Garrett’s own, presents the Aus-
trian theory in a very precise way, and documents how the Fed and the Bank
of England inflated tire money supply and loosened credit in the latter half
of the 1920s, leading to the bust. His is a cautious treatise in some way.

After all, he was blaming the central bank — not exactly a position that
was politically wise — and we aren’t just talking about the equivalent of a
blogger today. He was Lionel Robbins, the most influential economist in
Britain until Lord Keynes stole the show with his whiz-bang policy ideas.

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311

And why? Robbins counseled letting the bad investments wash out of the
system. Keynes thought you could use the state to rev the bad back to life.

By the way, this is the 1934 first edition, and so it is replete with cita-
tions of the Austrians, such as Mises and Menger. A later second edition
was gutted and replaced with Keynesian and classical citations, and this was
before Robbins later caved in to the Keynesian consensus and repudiated
tire book altogether. The pressure was on!

As another example, and really the definitive one, Ludwig von Mises
himself was writing all throughout the late twenties and early thirties about
the business cycle. He nails it all in essay after essay: the credit expansion,
the malinvestment, the folly of counter-cyclical policy, the dangers of pro-
tectionism and reflation, and so much more. These essays could all be writ-
ten today, and what is also impressive is Mises's focus on theory. He never
makes empirical claims that aren’t backed up by an attempt to explain the
theoretical apparatus behind the analysis.

What’s tragic is that his work on business cycle theory — which inspired
Hayek’s — was not translated into English until the 1980s and, even then,
not distributed in a form that elicited much attention. This is why The
Causes of the Economic Crisis is such an important book. It collects all of
Mises’s essays in a single book that is beautifully edited and bound. It shows
who precisely was the great master of economics in the 20th century.

All of this leads up to Roth bard’s America's Great Depression, the book
that is often cited as the one to show that the episode was caused not by the
market but by the central bank. It is getting new attention today. But if you
follow his citations, they lead right back to Garrett, Robbins, and Mises —
three of the observers of the time who saw precisely what was happening.
They had to be ignored by the New Dealers, for they utterly demolish the
case for stabilization policy.

MOVIES

Capitalism as Drama

July 20, 2009

S omehow the movie Wall Street (1987) still holds up after all these
years. Sure, the technology is dated — the cell phones are hilariously
huge and the fat-back screens in offices display only green digits — but
it hardly matters. The clothing by Alan Flusser is of course amazing and
holds up too, but the real merit here runs deeper than appearances alone.

The sensibility of the film, the thrill of commerce and trade, the chal-
lenge of the battle between money and morality, and the larger-than-life
quality of its main character — the rich, savvy, and unstoppable Gordon
Gekko — all combine to make a legendary story that remains strangely
inspiring in ways that its maker, Oliver Stone, surely did not entirely intend.

The film ends with a paean to labor unions and governments that save
companies from rapacious capitalists, but it seems artificial, like a Victorian
novel that had to have a happy ending lest the readers revolt. The overall
message concerns the central role of finance and commerce in moving his-
tory forward. Even the famed “greed is good” speech gives one pause: he is
onto something here, even if it is inelegantly stated.

In the same way that the Godfather movies shaped the culture of orga-
nized crime, Wall Street continues to influence the way traders and high-
flying capitalists understand themselves.

And it’s no wonder. The impression one is left with is all about the
courage, the thrill of the fight, the riskiness of entrepreneurship, that strug-
gle to obtain vast wealth, and the striving for the status of “master of the uni-
verse.” It pictures commerce as a gladiator fight, a magnificent and relent-
less struggle for progress, an epic and massively important setting in which
the fate of civilization is determined.

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Enticing isn’t it? Indeed it is and should be. Not all of commercial life
is like this but parts of it are. And some features are universals that don’t
just apply to high finance. Everywhere and always, the future is uncertain.
Those who make good judgments are rewarded. It isn’t easy. It isn’t for the
faint of heart. Competition can be as fierce in a small business setting as in a
big business one. Even the tiniest shop faces a daily risk, and this risk affects
decision-making in every area. Contrary to what Gekko claims, there is no
sure thing, even with inside knowledge and even with all the wealth of the
world. Indeed, Gekko is ultimately undone by forgetting that there might be
someone out there with even better information.

The thing that levels the playing field in this rivalry in the service of
society is the ubiquitous reality that no one really knows for sure what is
around the corner. And in the end, whether you win or lose depends on
that fickle and uncontrollable thing called consumer volition and its con-
frontation with the other undeniable reality of scarcity in all things.

I was trying to think of another story that captures that amazing element
of drama associated with commercial life. It was this feature of the novels of
Ayn Rand that most impressed Ludwig von Mises and Murray Rothbard.
She gave voice to their own love of economics as high-drama intellectual
battles for and against the progress of man.

My own favorite writer in this genre is Garet Garrett, with his four nov-
els written in the 1920s.

It is not just his novels. It is Garrett’s entire worldview. He saw tire mar-
ket as the tableau for the working out of the great struggles in human history.
Unlike Oliver Stone, he favored capitalism, for the reason that it was the
engine of progress, and a vibrant and wholly cooperative way to work out
tire competitive spirit in the human person.

The virtues of steadfastness, valor, bravery, and the impulse to make a
dent in the universe, and never, never, never give in (Churchill) are tragically
associated with the death and destruction of war, but free enterprise pro-
vides a means by which these impulses can be channeled toward creative
purposes.

And so, for example, in The Cinder Buggy we are witness to a titanic
struggle within a family over whether the future belongs to iron or steel.
And the description of the struggle in the lives of its entrepreneurs causes
tire heart to race.

The day of steel was breaking.

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315

It was not a brilliant event. It was like a cloudy dawn, unable
to make a clean stroke between the light and the dark. Yet
everyone had a sense of what was passing in this dimness.

Gib, whose disbelief in steel rested as much upon pain
memories and hatred as upon reason, was a fanatic; but at
tire same time great numbers of men with no such roman-
tic bias of mind were violently excited on one side or the
other of a fighting dispute. Fate decided the issue. The
consequences were such as become fate. They were tre-
mendous, uncontrollable, unimaginable. They changed
the face of civilization. Vertical cities, suburbs, subways,
industrialism, the rise of a wilderness in two generations to
be the paramount nation in the world, victory in the World
War, — those were consequences.

And look at this. You have to love this material:

And all the time, bad as it was, steel kept coming more
and more into use, especially, that is to say, — almost exclu-
sively in the form of rails. And the reason the steel rail kept
coming into use was that an amazing human society yet
unborn, one that should have shapes, aspects, wants, pow-
ers and pastimes then undreamed of, was calling for it, —
calling especially for the steel rail.

The steel men heard it. That was what kept them in hope.
The iron men heard it and were struck with fear.

Even the everyday actions of workers become fascinating:

The air was torn, shattered, upheaved, compressed,
pierced through, by sounds of shock, strain, impact, clan-
gor, cannonade and shrill whistle blasts, occurring in any
order of sequence, and then all at one time dissolving in
a moment of vast silence even more amazing to the ear.
Conversation would be possible only by shrieks close up.
The men seemed never to speak at their work. They did
not communicate ideas by signs either. Each man had his
place, his part, his own pattern of action, and did what
he did with a kind of mechanical inevitability, as if it were
something he had never learned. They were related not
to each other but to the process, kept their eyes fixedly on
it for obvious reasons, and stepped warily. A false gesture
might have immediate consequences.

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Later in the book, the fight between the dynasties revolves around price
movements. One side gets into the nail business. The other side dumps
nails on the market to lower the price, attempting to drive all competition
out of business, even though it proves harmful to the very firm doing the
dumping. The action is driven by spite, and the capitalist deems the price
paid worth it for his goal of revenge. The action starts his downward spi-
ral toward death. The firm that hopes to make and sell nails moves on to
greater things.

So it is in the real world of commerce. No, the profitability is not always
the motivation. Self-interest defines a wide category of human impulses,
from benevolence to greed to the desire to destroy. This multiplicity of
motivation can no more be ended than human nature itself can be perma-
nently changed. The beauty of the market is its capacity for funneling it all
in the service of the consumers, and The Cinder Buggy shows how all this
works. Who benefitted from the struggle? Those who needed nails and
were glad to pay a lower price.

Price movements are also central to the drama of Satan’s Bushel. The
reader follows the price of wheat up and down and up again, and watches
these price changes shift the fortunes of families, communities, and whole
regions. No matter how powerful and rich the players, they are reduced to
bit players in the face of larger market trends.

Garrett writes of a wheat speculator what could be said of Gekko in his
best moments:

No rule of probability contains him. To say that he acts
upon impulse, without reflection, in a headlong manner, is
true only so far as it goes. Many people have that weakness.

With him it is not a weakness. It is a principle of conduct.

The impulse in his case is not ungovernable. It does not
possess him and overthrow his judgment. It is the other
way around. He takes possession of the impulse, mount-
ing it as it were the enchanted steed of the Arabian Nights,
and rides it to its kingdom of consequences. What lies at
the end is always a surprise; if it is something he doesn’t
care for, no matter. Another steed is waiting. Meaning to
do this, living for it, he has no baggage. There is nothing
behind him. If he has wealth it is portable. He is at any
moment ready.

It is the same with The Driver and with Harangue-, the wonders of mar-
ket-based inevitabilities sweep all dreams before them. Whether that dream

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317

is for some whacko socialist utopia, a Manichean experiment in living off
tire raw products of nature, or the goal of reigning in market forces through
regulation in order to benefit a few at the expense of the many, the market’s
love of reality is triumphant. Those who know this in advance are the long-
run winners.

In the movie Wall Street , we are told that we should all love unions
and their desire to keep wages as high as possible and fix jobs in place for
generation after generation. And yet look around and see: the unions have
destroyed the American car companies and they have put a serious dent in
the profitability of airlines too. Their wishes are unsustainable because they
are not the market’s command.

In the end, who is the real destroyer: Gordon Gekko or the unions he
fought? The movie ends with the unions and the government on top. His-
tory ends with the capitalists on top.

The Film Noir Moment

September 2 1 , 2009

Im noir is not riding any wave of popularity, so it is the perfect time to

anticipate a trend. These movies from the 1940s are not only brilliant

and beautiful but also entertaining in their own right. They look com-
pletely different to us now from what they must have looked like then, and I
don’t mean merely to inspire a sentimentalism for days gone by.

These were times when Mises’s was writing Human Action in English,
Hazlitt was working at the New York Times , and Ayn Rand was marketing
The Fountainhead to Hollywood. These authors, writing on manual type-
writers and submitting the results only in hard copy, were the champions of
markets and technological progress. They saw what others did not, namely,
that the innovations of the time, as wonderful as they seemed, were only the
beginning of what was possible under freedom.

The film noir of their period beautifully illustrates the strange way in
which the operation of society itself was limited by the existing technology
as compared with our own digital age. Because none of us can live two life-
times, we depend on media like this to provide us insight in this area and
many others.

The plots of many of these hundreds of films turn on the ability of
people to change identities and get lost in the thick of things, with tricks
and turns that would be completely unimaginable today in the information
age. What is especially interesting is that the characters in the movies are
unaware that they are living in what seems like prehistoric times to us. For
them, the ability to call house-to-house, to listen to the radio in the car, to
communicate with others from phone booths might have been dazzling.

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Watching today, we see a society radically hobbled by the limits of tech-
nology, people whose decisions and course of life is determined by this fact,
even without their knowing it. The biggest limit concerns the absence of
information about people’s backgrounds and hence core character. Evildo-
ers masquerade as respectable people, while respectable people turn to evil
and are oddly successful at hiding it even from intimates.

The Detour , for example, is about a hitchhiker — talk about an anach-
ronism! — picked up by a driver who hasn’t contacted his parents in many
years; nor do they have a way to contact him. The driver unexpectedly dies
and the hitchhiker, fearing blame, dumps his body, takes his money and
clothes, and assumes a new identity. He even plans to sell the car, since there
was some disconnect between the owner and the car registration. Then a
girl he picks up turns to him and demands to know where the body is, a ter-
rifying moment simply because one person knows something that was pre-
viously hidden. The lack of communication and knowledge is the core plot
device, so that information is the source of terror.

There are other features of this him that turn on technological limits.
Many people seem strangely displaced, without a known past, and they
can float around from place to place with anonymity, appearing and disap-
pearing from the social fabric. The newspapers were the way you heard the
news, but gossip was generally more reliable. You had to be standing right
by the phone to get a call. The phones were necessarily connected to the
wall, so if you wanted to make a private call, you had to grab tire phone and
take it into another room. In Detour , when one person pulls on the cord to
get the phone back, he inadvertently strangles a girl in the next room.

Not even credit checks are very efficient, which is why the lead in
Quicksand was able to buy a watch on a borrowed $100 and resell it for $30
a little while later, so that he could return the $20 that he borrowed from the
cash register at work, which no one would have noticed was gone until the
weekly accountancy check. By the way, in this particular film, his misdeed is
discovered, and he has to return the $100 the next day, which requires that
he mug a drunk, which then leads to being blackmailed for $500 by some-
one who saw him do it, and so on until he is on the run for auto theft and
murder. It’s like a metaphor for financing the U.S. government.

Sometimes the information asymmetry is extreme, as in Double Indem-
nity. An insurance investigator is checking into an exorbitant insurance
claim with a partner who in fact is the perpetrator of the very crime he is
investigating. The insurance man is romantically pursuing a woman, who
he does not know plans to kill him once the scheme is complete. She is, in

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321

turn, married to a man who doesn’t know that his current wife is the killer
of his previous wife. And the daughter of the woman befriends the insur-
ance man without knowing that he is the killer of her father. Meanwhile, the
daughter’s boyfriend doesn’t know that her stepmother is lying to him and
probably setting him up to take the fall for this grisly mess.

In The Man Who Cheated Himself , the entire plot turns on a confusion
about whether the car that dumped a body at the aiiport is blue or green, a
problem that would have been solved with a color camera at the scene of the
crime.

In a personal favorite of mine, The Strange Love of Martha Ivors . the
details of a murder some 20 years ago had been forgotten so that a stranger
in town has to go to the deepest archives of the local newspaper to discover
that the heiress who runs the local industry conspired with her now-dis-
trict-attorney husband to frame up an innocent man, who went to the chair
for a ciime he didn’t commit. This plot wouldn’t have gone anywhere in an
age of Google.

Nor would the scenario of The Scar , in which a gangster assumes the
identity of a psychoanalyst by murdering him following a casino robbery
gone bad, be plausible in the slightest today. Our faces are on the tiniest
piece of our identities, and they count for very little as compared with our
digital data trail. Nor would the crook be surprised to find that the seem-
ingly respectable psychoanalyst whose identity he assumed was in even
deeper trouble with the law than he was.

The naive bride in Dangerous Crossing would not have inadvertently
married a man who planned to murder her to steal her fortune, which he
believes should have been inherited by her father’s brother. Nor would she
have lost track of him on the cruise ship they hoarded together on their
honeymoon. And surely the doctor examining the sick passenger would
have quickly figured out that this was the same man who was missing!

There is a series of strange apartment break-ins in I Wake Up Scream-
ing. Several times, the plot turns on the uncanny way in which people can
easily break locks on doors and windows. Not infrequently, people wake in
the middle of the night to find someone standing over them asking ques-
tions. The absence of reliable alarm systems and secure locks gives the film
a strange quality: everyone is vulnerable; no one is safe from prying eyes,
whether they are doing good or evil.

So on the one hand, the level of privacy is far beyond what we imagine
is possible today. Who today can disappear, sneak away, be out of touch for
any length of time, much less change identities or travel anonymously? On

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die odier hand, diere is no security against physical invasion of one’s home,
car, office, or personal records, none of which are password-protected and
all of which exist only in the physical world. As much as people bemoan the
absence of privacy today, the current inversion of the film-noir world is far
to be preferred.

The ability to disappear and inability to be secure fosters the world
of relentless suspicion and danger that is inherent in the him noir genre.
Women fall into two general categories: black widows whose secret pasts lie
in hiding as they pursue their next victim in a nefarious plot, or fallen angels
who pine for stability and get hooked up with bad men before being res-
cued from a life of desperation. Surely we have here a reflection of the deep
anxieties of women in a time when men were being snatched away by the
draft and sent away to foreign lands to kill and be killed.

In many plots, a moral ambiguity is pervasive, as one small and regret-
table decision turns out to have disproportionately had results, which
then require an attempt at coverup that involves the further suppression
of conscience and a further trip down the road to ruin. The viewer is never
entirely sure when to stop sympathizing with the evildoer, who often seems
to have bad choices imposed on him because of the imperfections of the
world around him. The small steps towards dishonesty don’t trouble us
until we find ourselves traveling with him to perdition.

What’s more, many of the small steps toward wrongdoing have a ratio-
nale rooted in a distrust of the justice system. The judge will never believe
me if I say that I didn’t commit this murder, so I’d better make a break
for it! The police will throw me in the slammer for decades for this petty
theft so I’d better cover it up! and on it goes: no one quite believes that the
state’s system ofjustice really works fairly and accurately. Despite the cen-
sor’s attempts to bolster civic mythology in the final scenes of such movies,
a deep distrust of all official institutions is their political infrastructure.

And this fact is very striking given the portrayal of police and police
investigators in the film, who don’t seem to be entirely on the other side of
tire divide from mere civilians in film noir. They are not jackbooted or heav-
ily armed or otherwise tasing people for showing the slightest bit of resis-
tance. They seem like people with different jobs to do, and that’s about it.

And they always have time, as when the poisoned man in D. O.A. comes
stumbling into the investigations bureau and says, “I’m here to report
a murder. Mine.” He then takes a couple of hours out of the time of five
officers to explain how he ended up being poisoned by a dangerous gang of
racketeers.

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323

It can sometimes be hilarious to our generation when the criminals are
trying to head for the border, where presumably the law then cannot reach
them. We know nothing of this strange assumption today.

Even if individual policemen themselves are decent and conscientious,
these films are replete with cynicism toward law — toward the system, with
lies leading to more lies and deceptions and covemps in all aspects of life.
They were made in the 1940s, in a time we are all taught was defined by
the great struggle between obvious good and obvious evil, embodied in
the “greatest generation,” which fought the “good war.” How could these
themes of deeply complicated moral ambiguity and official corruption
really connect with audiences?

Well, reading Jeff Riggenbach’s Why American History Is Not What
They Say provides a richer picture of a time when people did not, in fact,
trust government.

It was widely believed (or understood) that there was something fishy
about that whole Pearl Harbor thing and the drive to war, widely believed
that officials in Washington were just improvising during the Depression,
widely believed that the expansion of the state and its vast new powers were
not really about science but were rather a power grab.

In fact, one looks in vain for evidence from film noir that any viewers
were predisposed to believe anything from on high.

In other words, there was a veneer of naivete but growing distrust
beneath the surface — times, in other words, very much like our own. It is
in the writings of Mises, Hazlitt, and Rand that we discover the secrets to
understanding the strange world of film noir. It is a feast for the eyes and
ears, a look at how dramatically and sweepingly different our times are in so
many ways, and yet how the themes of corruption, deception, and lies are
persistent wherever public and private violence against person and prop-
erty rears its ugly head.

Who Was Beowulf?

November 22, 2007

I t took twice through, but I’m finally convinced; Beowulf is a wonderful
film. There would be plenty to recommend it, even if it had stuck to the
original plot line.

Nearly every frame is beautiful and riveting. The visuals seemed to have
borrowed from the field of gaming, so you can never quite tell if what you
are looking at is real or animated. The music is a kick. Beowulf is himself
thrilling to watch, as are the monsters, dragons, swords, and, above all, the
time: it is set in the 10th century Scandinavia. The viewer is convinced that
it must have been something like this.

Having read the newest translation several years ago, by Seamus
Heaney, I was not prepared for how the film would change the plot, which
is rather linear and boring in the original, but, hey, it’s the 10th century, so
who can complain? A monster vexes a town. Beowulf arrives and kills it,
kills the monster’s mother, and becomes king and then does other amazing
things before he dies a hero’s death.

In the new film version, there is a remarkable undercurrent. Hroth-
gar, the king that comes before, has a hidden secret and it concerns the
monster’s mother. It seems that Grendel is Hrothgar’s offspring, and the
witch, played by Angelina Jolie, is irresistible to him, and, later, to Beowulf.
Beowulf kills Grendel and then sets out for the mother, who seduces him
into giving her yet another offspring that returns to torment the commu-
nity many years later. Beowulf lies, however. He has given in to her, but tells
everyone that he killed her.

His secret is known only to a few: his wife and his closest associate.
Both decide not to pass it on. He is a hero and generations will sing his

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praises. So declare the court historians, and so it was to be, in the official
version. And so the official version has stood.

There is a profoundly moral story here, much like Faustus. What we
see are the dreadful consequences of sin visiting themselves on many more
than just the sinner. The family is destroyed. The community is destroyed.
The path of history is distorted from its rightful journey toward justice and
truth onto another path of betrayal, hurt, suffering, violence, degradation,
and ruin.

The moral can be described as Christian, and rigorously so. Indeed,
there is an overtly Christian theme in the movie. In an early scene, the king
is asked whether the people should pray to the new Roman God named
Jesus Christ. No, he says, they don’t need Jesus; they need a hero. Later in
die film, the man who asked the question carries a crucifix, and, even later,
becomes a Christian monk, working to convert the community, and suc-
cessfully so. (Why the Christian Right isn’t heralding this movie is unclear.)

Is this just another case of hero-debunking in an age of cynicism, in
which authentic virtue is a myth and there is no one to admire? I don’t think
so. What’s at stake here is the reputation of leaders, who are a special breed.
The state organizes itself in order to celebrate itself. It rules with the con-
sensus of society, which also desires to celebrate the state and its leaders.
The head of state has to work very hard not to emerge from this conspiracy
as a hero.

We don’t have to look far for examples. See Mount Rushmore. Are we
really suppose to believe the maniac, power-mad Theodore Roosevelt is
godlike? And let’s consider people who in private life would be consid-
ered gangsters, thieves, liars, and murderers, men such as Abraham Lin-
coln and Franklin Roosevelt. How is it that they came to have their images
on our nation’s money, that their glorious stories are taught to all American
schoolkids? That their lives are held up to us as models of virtue and glory?

The underside of government leadership is the primary subject of all
revisionist history, and this form of history is something we should always
give some benefit of the doubt. It is the official story of the heroism of lead-
ership that we should suspect. This is true even with such untarnished
demigods as George Washington, who, by all revisionist accounts, was an
incompetent general, a man who had no sympathy for the original Ameri-
can idea, who jumped at the chance to send in the troops to put down a tax
rebellion. The father of our country? Come on.

Have you visited the Lincoln Memorial? Pure paganism, wrapped in
state worship. There he sits in the Temple of Democracy, with his hands on

Who Was Beowulf?

3 27

die fasces, ruling us from die Heavens to which he clearly ascended after his
martydom — the glorification of power on display for all of us. The tourists
come and the tourists go. They figure that Lincoln must have been pretty
marvelous, and diink nothing more about it.

So it might have been — must have been — with Beowulf, the great war-
rior who became the king. We know and do not question the version of his-
tory handed down to us. We take his ancient hagiographers at their word.
But what was the truth? The him provides a credible alternative history,
but whether or not this is the true story, the message is one we need to hear:
power corrupts. If we care about truth, we need to look at this corruption in
its face, and learn from it, and not merely believe what the court historians,
from our time or the 10th century, have told us.

Spidey's Forgotten World

May 15,2007

A n unexpected pleasure of watching any Spider-Man movie — and the
new release of the third is no exception — is that it allows the viewer
to be a voyeur of a largely abandoned ideology, the perspective of
the Old, Old Left. The him, and the ideological structure of Spiderman’s
world, not only shows us how wrong the Left was way back then; it reveals
just how much the class-conflict view of economics has had to adjust in
order to stay viable at all.

In this Old-Left view of the social order, the essential conflict driving
history was between the wealthy capitalistic barons who live in unrestrained
opulence at the expense of the working poor, and the members of the work-
ing class who never get a break and never advance socially or economically.

In this unreconstructed version of leftism — which reached its height
from the thirties through the sixties — issues like the environment, disabil-
ity, sexual orientation, and the unmitigated evil of the European mind play
no role at all. This was the Left of yesteryear that believed in socialism as a
tool for economic development, the remedy for the intractable plight of the
working poor. This is a view that has a dwindling presence in the world
today.

Spider-Man is, of course, the archetype of the oppressed proletarian.
He has all the makings of someone who should excell. He is smart, hard
working, charming, and, by the way, possessed of amazing powers to climb
buildings and dash around on webs. But he does not get justice: he still lives
in a dingy, dumpy, broken-down apartment and can barely pay his rent.
Whatever job he happens to find, he loses rather quickly. Bosses are arbi-
trary and uncaring. He takes great photos but has to sell them to J. Jonah
Jameson at a fraction of what they are really worth, and hence the media

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mogul enjoys the surplus value. Part of his passion for social justice stems
from his own consciousness of his economic class. Thus says the Socialist
Worker: “Spider-Man is a superhero we can all identify with.”

Why he has to remain poor is not explained very well. He complains
that the door on his apartment doesn’t work right, but he doesn’t think to
hop over to Home Depot and pick up a new knob. The paint in his apart-
ment is cracking and dingy but he somehow can’t take a Sunday afternoon
off to do some renovation work, and neither can his proletarian landlord
across the hall. He has to use a payphone to make calls when he could just
Skype (actually, it is rather interesting: I can’t recall any computers in the
film at all). He keeps selling his photos at below market rates, without think-
ing to offer them to a newspaper besides the Daily Bugle.

Get a life, Spidey! But for reasons that are unclear, he just can’t. Nor
can those in his immediate circle. His girlfriend can’t get a break either. She
lands a singing job on Broadway but (we saw it coming) she loses it rather
quickly. Even though she is beautiful and talented, she ends up having to
wait tables in ajazz club — an appropriate venue for her since jazz mavens
can be counted on to embrace one of their own. Spidey’s aunt is in a simi-
lar situation, always on the verge of some economic disaster. None of this
makes any sense unless you are willing to buy into the old socialist view that
tire capital owners are running everyone else into the ground via some kind
of logic of history.

The third film in the series highlights the strange way in which Spi-
der-Man’s villains are unusually sympathetic creatures. Look at the life of
The Sandman as the movie presents it. He was a perfectly normal working-
class guy but he was faced with the terrible reality of a daughter who was
desperately in need of some medical attention that he couldn’t afford. So,
he decided to steal the money — which, we are led to believe, is perfectly
understandable. But during the robbery he became scared, and in an ill-
fated moment of snap decision-making, he pulled the trigger on the guy he
was robbing. The victim happened to be Spider-Man’s uncle, but once Spi-
dey comes to understand the background here, he too is sympathetic.

The Sandman is caught and goes to jail, but then escapes. On the run
from the police, he runs through a field and falls into a hole that is being
used for some nuclear molecular-decompression blaster thing. His body
and sand are fused together and he somehow lives on to continue his search
for money to help his daughter. So while he is ostensibly Spider-Man’s
enemy, they really share the crucial thing in common: class interest. The

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Sandman might steal, kill, and destroy without compunction but if you
focus too much on these facts, you are blaming the victim!

The class interest issue arises again in connection with Harry Osborn
(the New Goblin), the son of Norman Osborn, a.k.a. the Green Goblin,
who is the ultimate Marxian prototype of the wealthy capitalist villain, who
himself inherited wealth from his father Amberson Osborn. Here we have
the capitalistic dynasty, which, despite living in a marbled-floored man-
sion, is rife with every pathology one can imagine, each brought on by the
desperate struggle to retain possession of vast wealth. Harry is ostensibly
friends with Peter Parker (Spider-Man) but is secretly involved in a private
war to kill Spider-Man in revenge for Harry’s father’s death.

Tellingly, Spider-Man 3 has a period in which Harry and Peter are gen-
uinely friends. In this period, Harry is sincere, charming, and truthful. How
does this come about? Harry has lost his memory, enough such that his
class consciousness is changed. His is temporarily freed from his attachment
to wealth and class. Once he recovers his memory by looking at an image of
his father, his nastiness comes hack again.

And so on it goes. Not that any regular viewer would recognize any of
tire underlying ideological dynamics at work here. Nor is this presentation
particularly effective, since the old-line Marxist notions are about as fantas-
tical as the whole superhero concept itself. It posited that capitalism was
driving the working poor into the ground; but as it turns out, capitalism is
undeniably the best thing that ever happened to the working poor. In the
sweep of history, capitalism has, in fact, been the sole source for economic
advance. When this became obvious even to the Marxists at the turn of the
20th century, there ensued a clamor to reformulate the historical dynamic
that Marx had dreamed up.

But what is most interesting here is how far removed the movie has to
be from reality in order to project this Marxian vision. People are not quite
responsible for their social positions but rather come to inhabit them in
some sort of Rawlsian way, and they live out their appointed roles as if con-
trolled by some hyper -historical force operating in the world.

In the movie, moreover, one sees none of tire real institutions that truly
do serve the working poor. Peter Parker is never shown shopping at Wal-
Mart for example. Indeed, it is capitalism that has created in reality all that
the socialists of old imagined their revolution would achieve: an unbeliev-
able variety of food, clothing, and life-style luxuries at rock-bottom prices.
So you might believe that the socialists would cheer. On tire contrary, they
loathe Wal-Mart more than any existing institution and implausibly claim

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that it is somehow an exploiter. The passage of time in the real world has
also revealed the reality of what the working poor really want: not revolu-
tion against the capitalist class but more free ring tones on their cell phones.

It was only after it became perfectly obvious to every living person that
tire market was serving the poor that the socialist Left abandoned its goal of
material prosperity of the working poor. Now they tell us that material pros-
perity itself is the problem (and actually Rothbard took note of this ideo-
logical turn in the late 1950s). If we want true justice, the new view went, we
must all learn to live without. What should concern us is the destruction of
tire environment, the exploitation of cultural minorities, the hidden costs of
industrialization, and even such bogeymen as warm weather.

What the Spider-Man movies show us is a simpler time when the
socialists made a strong but empirically testable claim: socialism would
serve proletarian interests whereas capitalism is always contrary to prole-
tarian interests. That claim turned out to be 100% false. The movie makes
one nostalgic for such simple-minded and easily refutable views. Perhaps it
is appropriate that such a vision live on only in comic hooks and the movies
based on them.

Neither Brown Nor Red

May 12,2009

F or reasons I don’t entirely understand, conservatives bitterly attacked
the movie Reds when it came out in 1981. After all these years, the
movie holds up as one of the most intellectually interesting and visu-
ally powerful portrayals of lost history that I’ve seen.

The movie stars Warren Beatty playing John Reed, the great communist
journalist who wrote Ten Days that Shook the World , a journalistic account
of the Bolshevik revolution that whipped up a great deal of sympathy for the
Bolsheviks in the United States. Diane Keaton plays his girlfriend and even-
tual wife, Louise Bryant.

The film is unforgettable in so many ways. It includes some of the best
romantic fight scenes I’ve ever seen, not least because they paralleled the
actual off-screen lives of Beatty and Keaton. The portrayals of legends like
Max Eastman, Eugene O’Neill, and Emma Goldman are very convincing.

In terms of culture and politics, the film provides a richer education
than you can get from 50 books on the topic of the Progressive Era, the
Great War, the Russian Revolution, and the heady brew of interwoven cul-
tural issues like women’s suffrage, birth control, abortion, free love, and the
beginnings of the organized socialist movement in the United States.

The account of the many splits on the American Left in those days
helps people understand why the history of the I.W.W. (Wobblies) is some-
thing that needs to be understood.

I’ve never been sympathetic to the Bolsheviks as versus the old regime
in Russia, but the scenes here from the revolution are completely inspired
and touch the heart of anyone who agrees with Jefferson on the positive

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need for revolution from time to time. The portrayals of both Lenin and
Trotsky seem authentic, and thrillingly so.

That sense you get that you are watching the real thing is enhanced
by the extended interviews with people who actually knew both Reed and
Bryant. They all have strong opinions. They are wise. They are insightful.
We hear from communists and anticommunists, socialites and politicians,
working-class philosophers and credentialed academics. It is a beautiful
mix.

From a political perspective, the him offers a devastating turnaround
judgment on the results of revolution. Emma Goldman tries to talk some
sense into Reed in the years following, and explains that millions have died
from starvation, that nothing works right, that the vanguard of the prole-
tariat has become a centralized police state. Reed won’t listen. He explains
back to her that the socialist revolution requires terror, murder, and bring
squads.

Here is the exchange (Maureen Stapleton as Emma Goldman):

Goldman:

Jack, we have to face it. The dream that we had is dying. If
Bolshevism means the peasants taking the land, tire work-
ers taking the factories, then Russia’s one place where
there is no Bolshevism.

Reed:

Ya know, I can argue with cops. I can fight with generals. I
can’t deal with a bureaucrat.

Goldman:

You think Zinoviev is nothing worse than a bureaucrat.

The soviets have no local autonomy. The central state has
all the power. All the power is in the hands of a few men and
they are destroying the revolution. They are destroying any
hope of real communism in Russia. They are putting peo-
ple like me in jail. My understanding of revolution is not a
continual extermination of political dissenters. And I want
no part of it. Every single newspaper has been shut down
or taken over by the Party. Anyone even vaguely suspected
of being a counter-revolutionary can be taken out and shot
without a trial. Where does it end? Is any nightmare jus ti-
hable in the name of defense against counter-revolution?

Neither Brown Nor Red

335

The dream may be dying in Russia, but I’m not. It may take
some time, but I’m getting out.

Reed:

You sound like you are a little confused about the revolu-
tion in action, EG. Up ’till now you’ve only dealt with it in
theory. What did you think this thing was going to be? A
revolution by consensus where we all sat down and agreed
over a cup of coffee?

Goldman:

Nothing works! Four million people died last year. Not
from fighting war, they died from starvation and typhus
in a militaristic police state that suppresses freedom and
human rights — where nothing works!

Reed:

They died because of the French, British and American
blockade that cut off all food and medical supplies. And,
counter-revolutionaries have sabotaged the factories and
the railroads and telephones. And the people, the poor,
ignorant, superstitious, illiterate people are trying to run
tilings themselves just like you always said they should, but
they don’t know how to run them yet. Did you honestly
think things were going to work right away? Did you hon-
estly expect social transformation was going to be anything
other than a murderous process? It’s a war EG, and we got
to fight it like we fight a war: with discipline, with terror,
with firing squads. Or we just give it up.

Goldman:

Those four million didn’t die fighting a war. They died
from a system that cannot work.

Reed:

It’s just the beginning EG. It’s not happening like we
thought it would. It’s not happening the way we wanted it
to, but it is happening. If you walk out on it now, what does
your whole life mean?

And here we come to understand something of the strange mind of the
dedicated communist, so dogmatic in his adherence to a creed that nothing
can shake the faith, not even the deaths of millions and millions of people.

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Reed’s doubts about the revolution and the Communist Party crystallize
only when one of his speeches is edited. So he can turn a blind eye to holo-
caust but a violation of his freedom to speak becomes an intolerable act.
Some moral compass!

At the same time, we are given a more complicated picture at the ground
level of what drove the actual events of the Bolshevik Revolution. The film
narrative focuses heavily on the Russian war on Germany and what the
draft and massive death meant for the Russian people. It prepared them to
embrace radical solutions. Lenin in particular was more hardcore than any-
one else on the need to end the war. In real life, there was another compli-
cating factor here: hyperinflation had wrecked the economy. Hopelessness
is what drove the Russians into the hands of the communists.

Stateside, we discover that World War I, the gigantic military machine
erected in the United States to fight it, the betrayal of the antiwar cause by
Woodrow Wilson, and the emergence of a capitalist class working together
with the state machinery were the issues that emboldened the socialist
movement in the United States.

Let’s consider militarism, tire draft, and the government-business part-
nership of war to he pieces of what we can call right-wing government.
The film brilliantly portrays how the Right prepares the way for the Left —
in both the United States and Russia. The Right gives the motivation and
creates the sense of desperation and moral outrage that leads people to
embrace utterly implausible solutions like socialism and communism.

Had there been no war and inflation in Russia, there would have been
no revolution, and we would have been spared 80 years of communism. In
the United States, the communists and socialists would have remained a
small group of activists with no rallying cry, no victim story, no tale of capi-
talist evil to tell to the public and the workers.

The entire story makes an interesting parallel with our own times.
Show me an Obama fanatic, someone for whom this man can do no wrong,
no matter how brainless his economic policies or how violent his foreign
policies, and I’ll show you a person who hates George W. Bush’s guts — and
mostly for the right reasons.

We all saw this coming for the last eight years. Bush took power with
Republicans by his side, and rather than using the opportunity to bring
about the humbler foreign policy he had promised, or reduce the role of
government in our lives, he used his power the way Republicans always
have: to betray election promises, explode spending, start pointless wars
that garner global enemies, vastly increase regulatory power, and attempt

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337

a regimentation of cultural life that impinges on people’s civil rights and
liberties.

It was a mix of policies that seemed designed to embolden the Left.
By the time the election rolled around, Obama-style socialism was a ripe
fruit dangling from a tree. In this sense, a good name for the American Left
would be reactionaries , since that seems to be the dominant mode of these
people.

This process of right-wing statism giving way to left-wing statism, and
back again, provides a summary narrative of the last 100 years of political
history, and it is a particularly maddening one for old-style liberals and lib-
ertarians, since we see how the two work together, often unbeknownst to
tire partisans, to build the leviathan state step by step.

It is surely not a far-flung hope that someday societies will learn to reject
the militarism and regimentation of the Right without embracing the col-
lectivism and violence against property offered by the Left. And someday
perhaps there will come a time when the tide of history will turn back the
advances of the Left without emboldening the violence of the Right.

In other words, the goal isn’t reaction but progress through liberty.

Catch the Libertarianism If You Can

May 28, 2003

T here are some great libertarian themes in Catch Me If You Can , the
DVD of which was released earlier this month. Leonardo DiCaprio
stars in the more or less true story of Frank Abagnale, Jr., a kid and
master of deception who managed to work as a teacher, a physician, an
attorney and prosecutor, and an airline pilot, all before his 18th birthday.

Frank sets out on his life of lies after a family tragedy, draws the attention
of the FBI for his financial scams, and eludes agent Carl Flanratty (played
by Tom Hanks) for a very long time. Then he cuts his prison term short by
agreeing to work for tire FBI in its financial crimes division.

Before we get to the libertarianism implied in the film, there is a down-
side. The film is no more or less complicated that the three sentences above.
There are no interesting twists or turns. It is a linear story, and the plot,
sequence of action, and ending are known by viewers from the outset. It’s a
fine story for an hour-long show or perhaps 100 minutes. But to drag this
out to 2 hours and 20 minutes is painful, excruciatingly so.

There is no such thing as a captive audience, as Steven Spielberg surely
knows. The problem is that he is the director and producer, and also owns
Dreamworks, which released the film. There must not be anyone at the stu-
dio in a position to tell him that this movie needed to be cut by half. So, I
cannot entirely recommend this movie for these reasons alone.

That said, the movie is packed with insights concerning the relation-
ship of the individual to the state. For starters, Frank’s family life is shat-
tered by the IRS, which begins to hound his father for tax evasion. There
is no indication that his dad did anything other than attempt to keep the
money he made. He was found out and financially ruined, the family house,

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car, and income all taken by the state. (Throughout the ordeal, Frank’s dad
issues idle threats to sue the IRS.) Seeking financial security, Frank’s mom
then runs off with Frank’s father’s boss.

Young Frank is overcome with shock that his father, once a corporate
bigshot and pillar of the community, is being ground down by the govern-
ment into the status of a pauper, that his family that was once so stable is no
more, that he himself, once a privileged child of wealth, is suddenly thrust
into the public-school miasma. Thus begins the cynicism and the percep-
tion that life is all a racket anyway, that we live in world in which what we
think is true turns out to be a fragile construction. Social and professional
standing can be granted or taken away by arbitrary edicts issued by power-
ful people.

Being 1 7 years old, he doesn’t adopt a political ideology, but there is
a tacit force at work in his later decisions to deceive the world: he is set-
ting out to prove that a world so imposed upon by state edict is something
of a hoax and hence easy to trick. He wants to do the honors as a way of
showing that his father was not so much guilty as unlucky. In this way, he
seems to be working to avenge his father’s humiliation at the hands of the
government.

The life of deception begins in public school. Treated rudely by the
other students on the first day, he decides to affect tire manner of a teacher
and rules over the French class as a substitute teacher for a full week. Next
he tries the same trick to become an airline pilot by merely having the right
badge and uniform, then a doctor by merely forging a diploma, and finally
an attorney through forgery and various distraction tactics. He finances his
operations through check fraud, turning pieces of paper into spendable
cash through elaborate financial trickery.

The choice of these professions is significant. They are all professions
in which the government exercises an unusual degree of control over who is
in and who is out. To understand the difference between these professions
and others, imagine a person who attempts to fool people by pretending to
be a software designer. Now, if such a fellow designs great software, who is
to say that he really isn’t a software designer? He has a marketable skill and
markets it. If he doesn’t design useful software, he is fired and that is the end
of the story. If he lied in his application, he is a jerk but not a criminal.

In a free market, what a person is is determined by how well a person
does. But it’s different in state-controlled professions. You can be a great
doctor but without the license to practice, you are guilty of a serious crime.
The same is true in aviation and law. It is not enough to be good at what you

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341

do. You must jump through hoops held by politicians and bureaucrats. The
fraud at the heart of pretending to be a lawyer is not that you are not a good
one but that you have not obeyed the regulations that govern who is in and
who is out. What’s more, the him doesn’t encourage us to be scandalized
by Frank’s deceptions but rather to admire his ability to work within and
around the system.

The FBI is after him mainly for his financial crimes. He forges checks
and cashes them, being careful to time his activities in such a way that he
gets the cash before the fraud is revealed. The him makes no comment on
the activities of the Federal Reserve, but when this institution buys bonds
from the government, it is merely creating the money out of thin air and
pumping it into the economy via its preferred bond dealers. Is what Frank
is doing privately really that much more shocking than what the Fed does as
a matter of its own daily operations? After all, it was a Fed official who only
recently bragged of the institution’s ability to engage in a kind of alchemy.

Eventually, of course, Frank is caught, but the story doesn’t end there.
He has become so skilled at forgery that his services at spotting the real from
tire fake are sought out by the FBI. His prison term is lessened in exchange
for his agreement to work for the state. By agreeing to help the government,
presto, he goes from world-class criminal to respectable bureaucrat, one
who is helping enforce the law. His shift from jailbird to jailer is officially
sanctioned and hence not considered deception.

The switch seems to be the mirror image of the switch in his father,
who went from respectable professional to an impoverished member of the
working class, also at the stroke of a pen. When the state defines who is rich
and who is poor, who is a lawyer and who is not, who is a criminal and who
is a criminal catcher, we enter into a world driven by the arbitrariness of
power, and that power has real and shocking effects on people’s lives: mak-
ing and breaking the human will itself.

Spielberg is a specialist at Americana, and with this Him he has cap-
tured the hidden resentment that many feel toward the regimentation of
life that has come with the hegemony of state over society. The distinctions
between real and phony, even between criminal and crime-stopper, become
blurry and fleeting. Frank Abagnale, Jr., was brilliant at playing a game that
tire state plays on an ongoing basis.

Time and Justice

June 20,2001

H it-in-the-head movies are usually pathetic. Some guy takes a fall and
learns to see the world a new way, which invariably involves becom-
ing more politically correct and marrying a feminist, or some such
thing. Memento is not to be confused with one of these. It is surely one of the
most brilliant and innovative films to come along in years.

I can only compare my reaction to Memento to the first time I saw The
Godfather, here is something completely new and unexpected, yet com-
pletely integrated and successful, that sheds all new light on the medium
and the subject. That subject is time and how we perceive it. But it goes
beyond that to touch even on the moral universe. This movie is so good,
and so smart, that you want to watch the whole thing over again just as it
ends.

Memento is a thriller that tells the story of Leonard Shelby (played by
Guy Pearce), who has the mission of finding and killing the survivor of two
men who broke into his home and raped and killed his wife. Leonard suf-
fered a head injury in the attack, so now he has this “condition”: he has no
short-term memory. He knows who he is and where he is from. He knows
that he was a happy husband and a claims investigator for a life-insurance
company. But he cannot remember anything after the terrifying night when
his wife was attacked. He does know that he has this memory problem and
that he must seek vengeance.

Despite this crippling problem, he is determined to carry on. Because
he cannot form new memories, he must snap photos of things he wants to
recall later on. He carries pictures of the hotel he is staying at, the car he
drives, and people he meets. He must make judgements about the charac-
ters of people and write them down, because he knows that the next time

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he sees them, he will not remember their name or face. Once something is
written down on a photo, or tattooed to his body, it is fixed in place. If it is
not written down, the information is lost.

Each day he wakes up unsure about where he is and what he is sup-
posed to do. He must reorient himself completely, not to remind himself of
what he knows but to form a complete impression from scratch. He looks
in the mirror to read that his purpose in life is to find the man or men who
killed his wife. He finds notes, written the previous day, that tell him where
to go and who to meet, and why he should meet them and whether he can
trust them. His memory fades far more quickly than 24 hours, however. It
appears to last about 10 to 15 minutes, so Leonard has to rush to keep him-
self on track, and so does the viewer of this film.

Leonard explains that there are advantages to living this way. Memory
is notoriously unreliable as a guide, he says. But we can trust facts, and he
records facts about the attacker as he finds them. This, he says, puts him in
tire same position as a police investigator who must put emotional distance
between himself and the crime. He discovers the facts and, with the aid of
the police report, he pieces together the mystery to find the person he is
after. He seems to get closer and closer to solving the mystery.

Leonard is once asked why he wants to kill the attacker, since, after all,
even if he finds the guy and kills him, Leonard is not likely to remember
it. Leonard responds very intelligently. It’s true, he says, that he may not
remember. But vengeance is not a subjective state of mind but rather a fact
of reality. So it doesn’t actually matter whether he carries with him the sub-
jective sense. What matters is that justice is done, period.

We cheer. In fact, we admire him because, all in all, Leonard seems to
manage very well with his condition. We follow him in hot pursuit of the
bad guy through many very intense scenes, and in this respect the film is
old-fashioned. In one very funny scene, he is fleeing a man who is trying
to gun him down and suddenly his memory fades. He thinks to himself:
“Okay, what are we doing here? I’m chasing this man . . . no, wait, he is
chasing me!”

Oh, but there’s a bit more to it. You see, the film is cut up into some 30
or 40 separate pieces, and the viewer watches the film in backwards chro-
nology, starting with the last scene first. At each scene, we find ourselves in
a completely unfamiliar setting, which we then must back out of to discover
how we got there in the first place. As the action proceeds, or recedes, we
know only what Leonard knows and only a fraction of what everybody else
in die film knows about the same people and events.

Time and Justice

345

To keep the story line stitched together the viewer must juggle scenes
and dates, remembering places and characters from previous scenes that
are actually in the future. This technique places the viewer in something
like the same state of mind as Leonard: a radical disorientation of time and
place. We struggle to orient ourselves at roughly the same pace as Leonard.
To top it off, there is a parallel story line that runs underneath (shown in
black and white) that moves in forward chronology, until the forward and
backward stories meet in the end (which is the beginning of the story).

The overall effect is spectacular. I know of no movie that is more flatter-
ing to die intelligence of the viewer. But I don’t want to create an impression
that this is some typical art-house psychodrama about the human condi-
tion. It’s a corkscrew of a movie, but it truly works from top to bottom with
not a hint of pseudo-profundity. You can’t help but be intensely curious
about every aspect of Leonard’s life and how he handles it. You have to be,
for if you turn your attention away even for a moment, you could miss some
crucial piece of information.

What do we gain from this film? We come away with an understanding
of how central the passage of time, and the gathering of information, is for
our subjective impressions of the world. The ability to gather information
differs from person to person, and our own personal sense of the passage of
time has the most powerful effect on how we behave, on how we regard our
place in the social and moral order.

If that were all this movie was about, we might just dismiss the film as a
typical lefty effort to say that the world is no more or less than what we make
of it in our own minds. But no, this film doesn’t stop there: it shows that no
matter how we perceive time or events, there is an objective world, even an
objective ethic, out there that we must confront and cannot avoid. There is
truth, whether we or not we see it and even if we choose not to see it-even if
we cannot see it.

There’s a political dimension here too. We learn that artificially short-
ened time horizons (which is what Leonard had and what government
imposes on society through, e.g., inflation and welfare) creates internal
panic and external chaos. We come to understand the degree to which civi-
lization depends on tire ability to plan for the long-term, accumulate infor-
mation, make sound judgements based on that information, learn from
eixor, and reverse our course of action if tire need presents itself.

You sometimes hear it said of a great movie that you must rush to see
it on the big screen. It’s probably not true with this one. You can wait until
tire DVD comes out. It is a low-budget number from Newmarket Films, and

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has no special visual effects and no sex scenes and very little violence (but it
is still rated R).

But judging by its numbers, audiences have warmed to it right away.
After 14 weeks it has grossed $17 million and stayed in the top 15. The
number of theaters in which it is released increases by the day. Writer/direc-
tor Chris Nolan has done something spectacular here, and he deserves to
be rewarded with commercial success.

It's a Jetsons World

January 11,2002

I t occurred me last weekend that children should not grow up without a
thorough exposure to the great cartoon from 1962, The Jetsons. Its cel-
ebration of technology and commerce, its retro-style optimism, its hilari-
ous dovetailing of bourgeois normalcy with gizmo-crazed futurism, its com-
plete absence of political correctness (excluding, of course, the atrocious
1990 movie by the same name) — all combine to make this one of the great
cartoon achievements of any time.

The answer was simple: obtain a set of DVDs that have the complete
series, all 80 episodes made over time. What a dream! It turns out, how-
ever, that such a thing doesn’t exist. Well, there’s always video, but it turns
out that these are very hard to find. Where to start? Amazon.com. Search.
Nothing. I’m told that the Cartoon Network runs them, but I don’t have
cable.

But wait. Here’s a private individual in the Midwest advertising on
Amazon who has one to sell. One click. Moments later, the owner sends an
email, telling me that he has two episodes on video, at $3 each, no shipping
charges. I Paypal him $6, and the videos arrive by UPS three days after it
became clear that The Jetsons was indispensable. I thank him, he thanks me,
and everyone is happy.

What a world we live in, where such transactions can take place with
such ease! No slogging through downtown and looking through racks of
videos. No checks or cash or even credit cards. And it’s all private, just a
slight peek into the magical, wonderful world of the market economy that
allows me to obtain in minutes an obviously rare copy of a cartoon made
thirty years ago and show it to my kids in my own private home.

347

348

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

The fellow who sent these videos isn’t officially designated by the sta-
tistics collectors as a retailer. He probably didn’t go to business school or
take marketing classes. He’s just a guy with a good video collection; the ser-
vice ethic he displays was something taught to him by the dictates of the
market economy itself and its relentless insistence that the interests of the
consumer come first.

Now, please don’t accuse me of “worshiping at the altar of the market.”
Worship is something owed to transcendent beings. In heralding the magic
of the marketplace, I am simply recognizing that there is nothing on this
earth as wonderfully productive and service-oriented as commercial society,
and its glories are never more obvious than when contrasted with the work
of government. Let government brag about its ability to raze whole coun-
tries; the impossibly wonderful ability of the market to coordinate the needs
and desires of billions, while exceeding the expectations of everyone, is far
more inspiring.

And don’t say that market is merely delivering trivial junk like The Jet-
sons. First, it’s not trivial; it’s fun. Second, by the same methods, my family
obtains DVDs that teach French and Latin, rare books on ancient civili-
zation and history, CDs featuring music from the High Renaissance, and
clothing that is cheaper and of higher quality than anything available locally.
In addition to providing entertainment, the market is serving humanity in
all of its highest aspirations.

In any case, the Jetsons videos did not disappoint. In the first episode,
George is feeling a financial pinch because his son wants to go to spaceball
camp and his daughter needs a new gown for the prom. Meanwhile, his
wife is stepping up her usual spending habits. George begins to moonlight
as a taxidriver and is nearly fired from his dayjob (again!) for doing so. For-
tunately he wins the Venus lottery (in currency units valued at 75 cents on
the dollar), but unfortunately his family then goes on a wild spending spree
even before the payoff arrives.

Meanwhile, his company, Spacely Sprockets, is faced with a takeover
attempt by some corporate raiders from Venus, which is apparently enjoy-
ing economic boom times. Mr. Spacely appeals to George to help him buy
more stock to keep the company from falling into Venusian hands.

The plot thickens in every which way until the devastating news arrives
that Venus’s economy has collapsed and the currency has been devalued. It
is now worth a tenth of a penny on the dollar. The takeover attempt is held
back but George is now faced with a mountain of debt. The whole story of
the inflated Venusian currency sounds like Argentina today!

It’s ajetsons World

349

In the other episode, the main competition of Spacely Sprockets, Cog-
swell Cogs, moves next door in an apparent attempt to spy. Mr. Spacely
hands George the plans for the property and demands that George figure
out a way to build a high wall. George’s son Elroy notices that tire Cogswell
Cogs building is six inches over the property line! Mr. Spacely celebrates
tire news and demands that Cogswell move his building.

A beaten Cogswell goes along until he notices that George had the
plans upsidedown, and that it’s Spacely who is over the property line! Now
Cogswell demands that Spacely move. George is fired (again) until one
day, when poking around his old office space, George notices a city zon-
ing inspector measuring the Cogswell building to find it six inches higher
than regulations permit. The zoning police decree that the Cogswell build-
ing be torn down! George delivers the great news to Mr. Spacely, only to
have Spacely announce the news that instead of moving his building, he
had agreed to buy Cogswell’s now-worthless property!

Of course both episodes feature the technologies that made The Jetsons
famous: tire fold-up flying cars, the space boots that walk on walls and ceil-
ings, the floating and moving sidewalks, and every manner of robot. There
are also plenty of old-tech items, like cigars, which are used as a prop to sig-
nify prosperity. The Jetsons cartoons foresaw the day when huge numbers
of workers would sit at terminals with screens. Note too that while there is
a massive amount of personal freedom in the world of The Jetsons , there
are also many government- caused annoyances like zoning regulations and
financial bubbles.

Some of the advanced technology in The Jetsons looks old-hat by
today’s standards. Jane’s facsimile dress selector looks like a 1970s movie
projector that merely broadcasts an image. Nothing special there. And
Elroy’s enviro-simulator is impressive but no more so than today’s video
games. The mail is fast, but it is physical!

Other episodes I recall from childhood that are apparently unavailable:
the contest between Astro the real dog and Lectronimo the robot dog; the
episodes featuring the menacing cat burglar; the one where Jane gets fed up
with public transportation and decides to take driving lessons.

And this episode as detailed on the unofficial Jetsons site sounds great:

G.I. Jetson: Private Jetson is drafted, as George is a family
man he gets a full two minutes to report for duty. They’re
all given an aptitude test, and one not-so-bright recruitjams
a square peg into a round hole, whereupon tire automated

350

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

grading program determines that his “original thinking
shows leadership potential ” and makes him a general.

Alas, I can’t yet obtain it. Someday perhaps. The free market’s work is
never done. In honor of this great show and the family-friendly market it
celebrates, listen to its exhilarating theme song (http://www.cybercomm.
nl/~ivo/download/jetsons_theme.mp3).

Nixon!

January 14, 2009

S ome personal history on my impressions of Richard Nixon:

My earliest memories of Nixon involve Watergate, and my father’s out-
rage that a third-rate burglary would be the stuff of national scandal.
He figured it was a racket.

The public school distributed copies of the Weekly Reader , packed with
pious propaganda and high dudgeon over the entire incident. I was alone in
my elementary school to rise in his defense, thereby outraging teachers and
administrators.

It was years later that I threw myself into reading the prehistory: the
Hiss/Chambers trials of 1949 and Nixon’s role as the leader of the prosecu-
tion. Later I learned of his horrible role in creating the EPA and making the
dollar pure paper, as well as instituting price controls. As I came to under-
stand war as a species of socialism, the ebb flowed again with appreciation
for his role in opening up China and for starting amis talks with the Soviet
Union.

So is Nixon someone I respected? Yes. His good-government critics
have always disgusted me. At the same time, one has to agree with Roth-
bard that his impeachment/resignation was a great moment, if only because
it demonstrated the vulnerability of the presidency. It discredited the power
elite and finalized the break with the old world in which everyone was sup-
posed to love and adore and obey the commander president.

One the one hand, on tire other hand ... in saecula saeculorum.

This is a summary of my own view, so I’m completely dazzled by Oliver
Stone’s extraordinary 1995 film Nixon, which I hadn’t seen until this week.
The him further complicates the picture of this man with a portrayal that is

351

352

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

brutally honest about his flaws but also surprisingly affectionate in the end.
In the course of telling the story, Stone also manages to telescope a revision-
ist political history of the last fifty years.

I can easily imagine that the Stone haters are already screaming at this
article: “This film is nothing but a smear rooted in wacky conspiracy theo-
ries. The film strongly suggests that Nixon had something to do with the
Kennedy assassination, for goodness sake! How dare you try to shore up
tire credibility of this Stone loon and his stupid movies!”

Well, you know what? The Stone rendition is not made up. It is drawn
from published accounts from people who don’t accept the official view of
things, and it draws together many threads from different narratives that
tell a story that is not entirely implausible. In fact, the workings of power
that are portrayed here have much in common with an ancient narrative we
associate with Shakespeare’s telling of the history of Rome. It also fits with
everything we know about power and Washington.

Stone’s version of history has Nixon making a deal with the CIA and
a powerful group of Cuban exiles in the early 1960s. Following the Bay of
Pigs invasion, which the exiles believed was botched because Kennedy was
not wholly on board, the exiles arranged for Kennedy’s assassination. Nixon
was their chosen man for whom they hoped to gain the White House, but
they had to clear a path for him to achieve this goal. The group that put him
in the White House adored his war on Vietnam but turned on him furiously
over his overtures first to China and then Russia, and so unleashed the hell
that ended up bringing him down.

That’s the theory. But even if you reject it, there is a solid reason for
watching this. Folks today know virtually none of the essential political his-
tory behind the Nixon story. This is a great way to be introduced to it all,
from Hiss/Chambers through the 1970s and following, even up to Rea-
gan’s revenge against Nixon’s peace overtures. You will discover impor-
tant moments in postwar history that are hardly ever mentioned in public
school; actually, they are darn near forgotten.

There is even much to learn here about Vietnam, tire student protests,
tire end of the war and how strangely uneventful it was, and so much more
about the political culture of the time. The presidents’ men look and behave
exactly the way I remembered from when I was a child. The whole movie
for me personally is a blast from a past that lives in my mind as only a vague
shadow.

Anthony Hopkins does an amazingjob playing Nixon, and many of his
speeches and press conferences are true-to-life recreations. The impression

Nixon!

353

of the man is highly sympathetic to him personally. He comes across as a dis-
ordered person, touched by paranoia and vexed by fear. But he was also a
victim in many ways — though not in as many ways as he believed. His char-
acter in power was frightening; his character as a man was fearful and con-
fused and cold but pathetically likeable in the end.

Young people who demand an explosion every 10 seconds and a sex
scene every 15 minutes will find the movie boring, no question. It is heady,
smart, and detailed, and the real action here is very subtle and bound up
with intrigue and plot. The picture of life in the White House is unforget-
table. It is beautifully filmed, but I can easily see why mainstream audiences
wouldn’t just drink it up. It is a profoundly serious movie.

Call this film fiction if you want, but something tells me that there is
more truth here than official histories admit. Mostly what this film teaches
is something about the nature of power. Oliver Stone’s greatest gift is his
refusal to treat the American system as something supernaturally protected
from the corruption that has been endemic to all regimes in the history of
tire world. For daring to reject the civic religion, he is routinely castigated as
a Marxist lunatic.

Watch this and see if that reputation holds up in light of this film, which
strikes me as a modern classic.

Index

Abagnale, Frank Jr., 339
Adoption agencies, 212
Advertising. See Marketing
Against Intellectual Monopoly, 1 13
Air conditioning vs fans, 37
Albomoz, Bartolome de, 71
“American Affairs”joumal, 256
American Express, 91
America’s Great Depression, 311
Austrian business cycle theory, 309
Austrian School of economics, 110
Austrian School tradition, 254
Austro-libertarian tendencies, 223
Ballet and Culture, 226
Baruch, Bernard, 255
Bastiat, Frederic, 8
Beatty, Warren, 333
Beowulf, 325
Berliner, David, 147

Better Homes and Gardens
Cookbook, 241

Bi-metallism, 258
Block, Walter, 170, 2 13
Blogging, 104
Bloody Mary recipe, 246
Boehringer Ingelheim Inc., 178
Boldrin, Michele, 1 13

Books

electronic and print, 127
mechanized copy, 135
Mises Institute author list, 130
Bourbon and coffee, 246
Bourbon and social nonns, 7
Branden, Nathaniel, 120
Bread or meat, 241
Bryant, Louise, 333
Bubble that Broke the World, 254
Buckley, William F., 265
Bureaucracy, 130
Bureaucrat International, 22
Bureaucrats. See also Crime

bureaucrats and the free market,
130

government worker attitudes, 167
Bums Jennifer, 118
Bush, George W., 336
Business Cycles, 309
Cabrini, Mother, 206

Causes of the Economic Crisis, The,
311

Cecilia, Saint, 206
Cell-phone addiction, 141

Centesimus Annus, 107

principles, historical observations,
and applications, 110
solidarity, 107

355

356

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

subsidiarity, 107
Central planning

characteristics of, 146-148
editorial cartoons, 301
Chafuen, Alejandro, 102
Chamberlain, John, 254
Chambers, Whittaker, 265
Chez Madeleine, 256
Child labor, 77
exemption, 79
Cinder Buggy, 254
Clapham, Michael, 136
Clothing

sartorial advice, 193-197
what to wear, 174-176

Commerce. See Free market and
commerce

Computer security, 149-151
Conservatism

contemporary view of patriotism,

273
traits, 266

Consumer Products Safety
Commission, 216

Consumer volition, 314

assumption ofjustice, 304
Creative Commons License, 1 15
lawsuits, 27

natural limitations of, 138
restriction of innovation, 8
Court. See Crime
Court of tastes and manners, 267
Creveld, Martin van, 167
Crime

and politics, 154
arbitrary judiciary, 158
creating the bureaucrat, 165

criminalizing resistance, 159
here comes the judge, 155
money and the courts, 160
police reality, 1 64
right to resist, 159
society in jail, 153
traffic ticket racket, 161
ultimate enforcement, 155
Currency. See Money
Davis, Bette, 207
Death, 45

DiCaprio, Leonardo, 339
Dietemann, Al, 13
Discovery of Freedom, 207
Discussion flame-throwers, 219
Doghair drinks, 247
Driver, The, 254
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, 250
Eastman, Max, 333
Economic literacy, 94
Education

Deweyite-Progressivist model, 148
failed testing schemes, 146
fallacy of degrees, 85
homeschools, 148
school vouchers, 147
Education of Henry Adams, 266
Energy Policy Act, 25
Entrepreneurial risk, 92
Etymologiae, 140

Failed drinker and smoker, 229-230
Fair Labor Standards Act, 77

Faith and Liberty: The Economic

Thought of the Late Scholastics,

102

FDR, 52, 85,263

Federal Energy Policy Act, 14

Index

357

Federal flight marshals, 166
Film Noir, 319-323
Finn, Chester, 147
Flusser, Alan, 313

Fortune cookies and economics, 233
Fountainhead, The, 1 19, 3 19
Fousee, William, 177
Free association principle, 210
Freedom

democracy without values, 108
division oflabor, 109
entrepreneurship, 109
individual moral conviction, 109
Pope John Paul II, 107
private property, 109
profit, 109
reimagining, 9

rights of the human conscience,
108

Social Assistance State, 108
to associate, 71, 76

Freedom, Inequality, Primitivism and
the Division ofLabor, 68

Freeman periodical, 266
Free market and commerce
comparative advantage, 71
cooperation and exchange, 70
exchange matrix illustration, 68
free markets and freedom, 90
fruits of the regulator, 88
government anti-market policies,
88

lobbyist abuse, 179
privatization of roads, 170
protectionism and your nose, 178
public ownership problem, 22
results of government regulation,
88

self-interest, 316
shortage of goods, 23

state ownership, 23
the regulators argument, 87
French, Douglas, 9
Friedman, Milton, 52
Garbage

abolishing city trash pickup, 43
garbage disposals, 29
plague, 42

William F. Buckley and your
garbage, 41

Garrett, Caret, 253
Gay adoption, 209
Gekko, Gordon, 3 13
Goddess of the Market, 118
God of the Machine, 1 19
Goldberg, Jonah, 209
Goldman, Emma, 333
Good-government movements, 25 1
Good Money, 50
Great Depression, 310
Guilt. See also Political Correctness
private gain, 61
technology guilt, 1 44

Guinness Stout, 245
Haircuts, 185
Hanks, Tom, 339
Hanratty, Carl, 339
Harangue, 261-263, 3 16
Hayek, Friedrich von

approach to debate, 221
on currency, 52
Health

as pretext for expanding power,
184

Avian Influenza, 181
cigarettes and reverse psychology
messaging, 215

358

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Clinton health care plan, 299
pandemic preparedness, 181
pseudoephedrine, 178
www.pandemicflu.gov, 181
Heaney, Seamus, 325
Heroes

demi-gods of the state, 326
Holcombe, Randall, 183
Homeschools. See Education
Hopkins, Anthony, 352
Hoppe, Hans-Hermann, 127
Hiilsmann,Jorg Guido, 221
Human Action, 68, 127
Impersonal state, 167

Intellectual property rights.

See also Copyright and patents
as ruse, 138

collegiate restrictions, 118
fallacy of IP, 125
intellectual confusion, 123
Mises Institute philosophy of, 139
ownership ofideas, 1 13
Jefferson, Thomas, 204
Jevons, William Stanley, 255
Kaufman, Trevor, 174
Keaton, Diane, 333
Keynes, John Maynard, 52
Kinsella, Stephan, 213
Labor

Beatitude of Labor, 80
child-labor laws as insidious, 80
division of, 67, 109
employee attitudes, 174
employee/employer relationship,

ethic, 95

impact of labor laws, 84
labor contract, 74

“labor oflove”, 57
labor union exclusionism, 80
lessons of the state, 8 1
relationship between work and
reward, 84

right to fire employees, 76
social authority, 81
teen unemployment rate, 83
value of, 95

wrongful termination, 73
Labor Day, 83

Laissez-faire and adoption, 213
Lane, Rose Wilder, 207
Lanharn, Lritz G., 80
Left-wing statism, 337
Lenin, 334
Levine, David, 113
Liberal reform movement, 271
Libertarian apologetic, 207
Life

a few don’ts, 96

five secrets of success, 96

truth of getting fired, 73

Life with the Printed Word, 254
Limits on innovation, 8
Lorimer, George Horace, 256
MacLennan, Hugh, 266
Madmen, 215
Mahler, Gustav, 203
Maltsev, Yuri, 147

Man, Economy, and State, with Power
and Market, 127

Manners

about hats, 176
button etiquette, 175
five essential table manners, 20 1
jacket protocol, 175
modern sartorial index, 173

Index

359

table etiquette, 200
table manners and you, 199
Mariana, Juan de, 205
Marketing
costs of, 105
principles of, 104-106

Market system, 22. See also Free market
and commerce

Mark Twain, 275

Martinez, Antonio, 136

Matthew ofFlanders, 136

McCain, John, 166

Memoirs of a Superfluous Man, 265

Mimosa drink, 246

Minimum wage and attitude, 76

Mises, Ludwig von, 127
approach to debate, 220
biographical sketch, 204
business cycle, 311
business propaganda, 106
Mises.org., 127, 129
Missionary Sisters of the Poor, 206
Molina, Luis de, 102
Money

bi-metallism, 258
coin value, 49
destruction of money, 52
“failed use” resources, 63
fallacy of state issued money, 51
FDR, 52

hyperinflation, 336

market society, 61

political truth and coins, 49

Prices and Production, 52

private gain “guilt trip”, 61

role of money in society, 56

the fair-trade scam, 60

the great modern lie, 53

toll of anticapitalistic mentality, 62

Moral ambiguity, 322
Morals, 32
Mother Cabrini, 206
Movies

Beowulf, 325

Catch Me IfYou Can, 339

Dangerous Crossing, 321

Detour, 320

Double Indemnity, 320

Godfather, 343

I Wake Up Screaming, 321

Jetsons cartoon series, 347

Man Who Cheated Himself, 321

Memento, 343

Nixon, 351

Quicksand, 320

Reds, 333

Scar, 321

Spider-Man, 329

Strange Love of Martha Ivers, 321

Wall Street, 3 13

Mr. Jefferson, 266
Myth of National Defense, 127
Myth of Neutral Taxation, 128
National Review, 265
Newcomb, Simon, 255
New Deal, 262-264
Night of January 16th, 119
Nixon, Richard, 351
No Child Left Behind, 145
Nock, Albert Jay, 179, 265
Nolan, Chris, 346
Not a Zero-Sum Game, 68
Obama, Barack Hussein, 336
Objectivist clubs, 120
Ode to Chicks, 47
Ode to Sticky, 47

360

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

Omnipotent Government, 129
O’Neill, Eugene, 333
Our Enemy, The State, 265
Palmart, Lambert, 136
Patents. See Copyright and patents
Paterson, Isabel, 119
Patriotism, 272-274
Pearce, Guy, 343
People’s Pottage, 253
Picture of Dorian Grey, 205
Political Correctness
civic piety, 55
environmentalists, 27
environmentalists and truth, 28
“give back” to the community, 56
labor of love, 57
neighbor against neighbor, 22
perversion of moral sensibility, 32
power leverage, 21
prohibitionism, 7
that “uneasy” feeling, 1 7
who are these people, 19
Pope John Paul II, 71

Centesimus Annus, 107
nature of the total state, 108
rights of the human conscience,
108

structure of society, 107

truth about the human person, 107

Pope Leo XIII, 71

Pound cake, 238

Prices, 99-102

Prices and Production, 52

Principles of Political Economy, 255

Profit’s Prophet, 255

Progressive Era, 333

Prohibitionism, 7

Public goods theory, 183

Publishing

briefhistory of, 133

Mises Institute philosophy of, 139

Puerto, Alonso del, 136
Raimondo, Justin, 255

Rand, Ayn, 118, 258, 3 14. See

also Intellectual property rights

Reactionaries, 337

Reclaiming the American Right, 255

Reed, John, 333

Ricardo, David, 71

Riggenbach,Jeff, 323

Right-wing statism, 337

Robbins, Lord Lionel, 310

Rockwell, Llewellyn H.,Jr., 9, 127

Rothbard, Murray, 222, 266

Ruskin, John, 225

Ryant, Carl, 255

Saint Cecilia, 206

Salvos Against the New Deal, 310

Satan’s Bushel, 254

Schumann, Clara, 206

Seattle Water Board, 13

Segura, Bartolomme, 136

Self-ordering systems, 109

Selgin, George, 50

Shaving, heaven and hell, 189

Shelby, Leonard, 343

Sherman Antitrust Act, 258

Social Assistance State, 108

Social consciousness, 59

Social order

pillars of society, 308
Solidarity, 107
Speaking of Liberty, 127

Index

361

Spielberg, Steven, 339

Sports knowledge and humiliation,
185

Stapleton, Maureen, 334
State ownership, 23
State Power, 153-156

criminalize resistance, 159
economic freedom, 269
government as force, 171
parasitic state, 270
pretexts for expanding power, 184
ultimate control, 171

Statism, 8
Statist Quo, 8
St. Bernardino, 101
Stone, Oliver, 313
Stromberg, Joseph, 2 13
Subsidiarity, 107

Ten Days that Shook the World, 333
The breakfast drink, 247

“The Free Market: A False Idol After
All”, 87

Toilets

black market, 26

capitalism and waste disposal, 27
Energy Policy Act, 25
multiple flush strategy, 27
remember when?, 26
toilet disasters, 25
toilet tank size, 16

Transportation Security
Administration, 165

Trash. See Garbage

Trithemius, 136
Trotsky, 334
Unions and Guilds

Certified Landscape Irrigation
Manager, 35

costs of unions & guilds, 33
destruction of a competitive
economy, 34

how a guild strangles the market,
35

Vengeance, 344
Virtues, 3 14
Voluntarism, 55
Water

avoiding egregious violations, 15
federal water flow mandate, 14
hack your water heater, 20
total water consumption, 16
water heater temperature, 17
water restriction work-around, 15

Weather, 21

Why American History Is Not What
They Say, 323

Wilde, Oscar, 205

Wilder Lane, Rose, 207

Wild Wheel, 254

Wilson, Woodrow, 336

Wired Magazine, 73

Wobblies, 333

Women of two kinds, 322

Work. See Labor

World Health Organization, 183

Zoe Industries Manufacturing, 13

362

Bourbon for Breakfast / Tucker

About the Author

Jeffrey Tucker is editorial vice president of the Ludwig von Mises Institute,
editor of its website Mises.org and its monthly newsletter The Free Market ,
an adjunct scholar widi the Mackinac Institute, a lecturer at Acton University,
managing editor of Sacred Music, author of Sing Like a Catholic (2010), writer
for many diverse venues including Markets and Morality and Dappled Things ,
and contributor to many blogs including the New Liturgical Movement.

^CitA‘problem” with Jeffrey Tucker is that he has been flying under the Aus-
tro-libertarian radar for all too long. A tireless worker, but mostly a behind-
the-scenes man (apart from his magnificent turn as Nathaniel Branden in
Murray Rothbard’s play, “Mozart was a Red”), he has in the past made
numerous public contributions from time to time. But now with the publication
of Bourbon for Breakfast: Living Outside the Statist Quo, a compilation of
many and all of them magnificent shorter writings, he will no longer be able to
hide his light under the proverbial bushel.

This book makes a very important contribution to both of his twin loves, liber-
tarian political philosophy and Austrian economics. What he has to say about
the economics of water, commerce, technology, police, and jails, are alone
worth way more than the price of admission (the book, in keeping with his
principles, is available for free on the web, but I urge you to buy as many copies
as you can and give them to your friends and family members).

But perhaps his unique contribution to our freedom movement is that he
combines these insights of his written in the tradition of Mises, Rothbard and
Hazlitt with some very important thoughts on health, manners, food, and other
such cultural matters. All too many of us (I am as guilty of this as anyone) write
and speak as if all there were to life is economics and politics. Not Jeffrey
Tucker, not by a long shot. So, do read him, and carefully, on these two
subjects, the core of our philosophy. But, also, study what he has to say about
culture. In some ways, these insights of his are just as important.

Walter Block, Loyola University, New Orleans

^Tom federalized showerheads to the libertarian Jetsons, Jeffrey Tucker has
written a funny and important book about state meddling, and the possibility of
pure freedom. Read Bourbon for Breakfast, and give a copy to everyone you
know. It’s a smart, subversive, and devastatingly effective case for liberty.

Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr.

Chairman of the Mises Institute and editor of LewRockwell.com

Ludwig von IfTlises Institute
518 West Magnolia Avenue
Auburn, Alabama 36832

KTliseSporg

SKU SS532

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